


Nothing Could Fall

by eris223



Category: Elyza Lex (Fanverse), Fear the Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Family, Hurt/Comfort, POV Alicia Clark, a little fluff because Alicia deserves it, alternate season 4, lexark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-30
Updated: 2018-10-14
Packaged: 2019-07-20 20:22:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 16
Words: 84,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16144811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eris223/pseuds/eris223
Summary: After pulling herself out of the raging waters, Alicia makes her way back towards the blown dam, determined to find her family. Her search is interrupted when she comes face to face with a heavily armed stranger...Complete





	1. Live

**Author's Note:**

> As a fan of Fear the Walking Dead, I felt robbed of the Clark’s story after the dam. We deserved more than just one throwaway piece of dialogue explaining what the hell happened after Madison, Strand, and Alicia were swept away in the current. So here’s Alicia’s side of the story, at least how my weird brain imagined it could have happened.
> 
> Disclaimer: This was written as a replacement for the current Season 4, so while there are quite a few more lighthearted scenes than we usually get to see on the show, it’s still the FTWD universe. Bad things happen. Characters die. I mean, it's the zombie apocalypse! Just wanted to give y’all a heads up here in case you skim over the story tags.

Sunlight. The sunlight isn’t where it’s supposed to be. That’s the first thing Alicia notices as her lungs burn with the lack of oxygen. She frantically looks down, finally realizing that down is up. She releases the last few dregs of oxygen from her nose and reorients her body.

Kick. Pull. Kick. Pull.

The surface seems just out of reach. The harder she kicks, the more her lungs protest the movement. A few more feet. Alicia feels the fatigue in her muscles, the black spots flicking throughout her eyesight. She’s close to passing out; she can feel it. She isn’t even sure how long she’s been under water.

Kick. Pull. Kick. Pull.

With one final surge of power, Alicia finally breaks the surface of the raging river, gasping dearly for breath. The river roars, as the water no longer contained by the dam floods the once empty banks. Still clambering for air, Alicia lets the forceful current pull her farther downstream, using all her remaining energy to keep her head above water. The farther she gets, the slower the pull. Finally feeling confident enough to fight the current, Alicia frantically kicks toward the nearest shore. She heaves her battered and tired body up on the concrete bank and lets her face warm on the sun-kissed cement.

Her eyes flutter shut as her lungs finally pull in the much-needed oxygen. After only a moment of relaxation, Alicia snaps her eyes open and pushes up on her hands at the ever-familiar sound of the uncoordinated walk of the dead. She scans her surroundings for anything to use as a weapon, suddenly very aware of her vulnerable position. Her eyes fall on a sturdy branch not a few feet away from her. With pure grit and determination, Alicia rolls toward her left, dodging the slow grasp of the rotting hand coming at her. She grabs the branch and using the momentum she just generated, effectively throws her feet beneath her and stands in a ready position.

With all her strength and a guttural yell, Alicia swings the heavy branch, hard. The crunching squelch of a shattered skull would have been stomach churning if it were the first time she had heard it. But it wasn’t, and Alicia barely flinches at the sound as she drops the branch to her side and sighs in relief.

Her reprieve is short-lived as her mind races and rapidly replays the last fifteen minutes. Nick. The dam. The Zodiac. Her mother. Strand. The Proctors.

Her eyes dart down the concrete bank, searching for any signs of her mother or Strand. Nothing. Not a single living soul. The bank across the river is just as bare save for the bloated corpse dragging itself along the edge.

Alicia releases a heavy sigh and closes her eyes as she tips her head back. The afternoon sun beats harshly down on her skin. Using the branch as a makeshift walking stick, Alicia makes her way up the concrete bank, desperate for flat ground to follow. The only logical choice is to track the river back upstream to the blown dam. That’s where her mother would look first. She would look for Nick first. On any other given day, Alicia would feel bitter about that thought, but today, right now, she is grateful to know where her mother would go.

Digging in with the branch, Alicia trudges along the bank quietly, her ears constantly stretching, always listening for the telltale sound of the infected. Her trek is reasonably clear. A few of the dead that were washed downstream crawl from the water, but they are far too slow and far too distant to be a problem.

After what seems like hours, Alicia finally sees the dam in the near distance. The sight makes her pause.

Nick.

The gaping hole in the center of the dam, the debris floating in the water, all of it a reminder of her brother’s foolish last stand. She shakes her head, willing the tears to remain burning behind her eyes. She shouldn’t think like that. She shouldn’t assume he’s dead. Her mother wouldn’t think it. But she’s not her mother. If Nick survived the explosion, the Proctors surely would not have let him leave the dam alive.

Alicia swallows the lump in her throat and presses on. She takes care to approach the wreckage slowly, wise to the fact that the Proctors may still be in the area. The closer she gets to the dam, the more living she sees. The locals are coming out by the dozens, no doubt curious about the massive explosion that tore through solid rock not a few hours earlier. Thankfully, most people ignore her, too intent on trying to piece together tidbits of the story that’s already being told.

With her high school level Spanish, Alicia can understand the bits and pieces she overhears. Rumors of an American woman teaming up with Lola, defying the Proctors, blowing the dam to return the water to the people, where it belonged. Alicia rolls her eyes at the tale being spun, but can’t help the small smirk that forms on her lips. These people speak of her mother as if she was an angel, a savior, a being worthy of stories and songs. She lets out a huff of a laugh. If only these people knew the truth.

As she finally approaches the outer building of the dam, Alicia is pleasantly surprised to see that the outlying building remained undamaged. She grips the branch in both hands, ready for any surprises, as she slowly pushes open the door. It’s dark. The sun is setting, and the light entering the cracked windows casts eerie shadows across the floor. She creeps along quietly, looking for any sign that her mother or Nick had been there.

Nothing.

There are no people left in the dam. It is disturbingly quiet. Not even a dead body in sight. Alicia rounds another corner and approaches what she assumes were living quarters. With her hand on a door handle, she freezes. A flash of blonde hair passes in her peripheral. Alicia quickly drops her hand and races toward the corner, following the familiar wheat-blonde hair.

“Mom,” she whispers into the dying light.

The response she gets is far from what she expects. Alicia stops dead in her tracks as she hears the unmistakable sound of a forend sliding back and forth on pump action shotgun.

“I prefer the term ‘Daddy’ but with a voice like yours, I’ll take anything I can bloody well get.”

The voice is husky, sultry, dripping with a unique form of smartass sarcasm, and a distinct Australian accent. Alicia squints into the darkness as the woman steps forward. The angle in which she holds the shotgun obscures most of her facial features, but the soft orange glow from the setting sun illuminates her wheat-blonde hair like a halo.

“Who are you?” Alicia asks, her arms reflexively in the air in surrender, one hand still firmly gripping her branch.

“I think I’ll be asking the questions here,” the woman says, a sudden slight edge to her voice. Her posture suddenly straightens; her grip tightens on the stock of the shotgun. Alicia can almost hear the leather of her jacket stretch as the stranger stiffens her shoulders. The shift in tone undoubtedly coincided with the look of recognition plastering the woman’s face. “Where’s your boss?” she bites out.

Alicia stares down the woman and does her best to keep her voice calm and free of emotion. No need to add to the obvious tension in the air. “My boss?” she asks as plainly as possible.

“Don’t play coy with me. I’m better at it than you are,” the blonde smirks. Her face drops all playfulness as she approaches Alicia, her eyes wild, fiery, and a brilliant blue. Alicia sets her jaw and tenses slightly as the barrel of the shotgun digs into her chest. “So I’ll ask you one last time, where is Proctor John?”

Alicia grits her teeth, “He’s not my-”

“Don’t lie to me! I saw you arrive with The Proctors. I saw him speak to you,” the woman seethes. She gives her wrist the slightest of twists causing the shotgun barrel to dig uncomfortably against Alicia’s flesh. She grimaces at the sensation.

“He seemed pretty keen on you, love. Not that I blame him,” the woman adds with a raised eyebrow.

“Then you also should have seen him try and execute me and my family!” Alicia bites back sharply.

“What?” the blonde asks genuinely confused. She backs off, removing the barrel from Alicia’s chest but keeping her aim up.

“Miss that part, did you?” Alicia challenges, her voice calm yet carrying just a hint of the overwhelming sadness she feels.

“I...” the blonde falters.

Seizing her opportunity, Alicia lowers her arms slowly, “Look, I’m just here to find my family.” She stares directly at the blonde woman, “I don’t want any trouble.”

The stranger finally lowers her shotgun, her aim no longer on Alicia. “There’s no one else here, love. The explosion must have cleared the place out. You’re the first living body I’ve seen. Sorry to disappoint.”

“You saw the explosion?” Alicia blurts. The blonde stranger merely raises an eyebrow in affirmation.

“Did you see anyone make it out alive? Off the bridge? Were there any survivors?” Alicia rambles.

“Sorry, love. Didn’t have the best view, although I have a hard time believing anyone on that bloody bridge made it out alive with the way they were all shooting at one another,” the blonde replies, her voice taking on a surprisingly earnest tone.

“Right,” Alicia little more than mumbles to herself. She closes her eyes and turns her head towards the ceiling. She takes in a slow breath, willing the simple act to ease her mind.

“What’s your name?” the blonde interrupts.

Without opening her eyes, she responds tiredly, “Alicia.”

“Well, Alicia, I’m Elyza and seeing as how you don’t seem to be a total ratbag, and I’m feeling rather altruistic myself this fine evening, here’s the deal. The sun is going to set soon. I’ve scavenged this place as best I can, and since you claim you aren’t a Proctor, I suppose you aren’t a threat.” She pauses and Alicia finally opens her eyes. Elyza takes a moment to study Alicia’s face.

The intense glare and once over begin to make Alicia uncomfortable. It feels as if this woman could see through her clothes, through her skin, and into her soul. It was disquieting, to say the least. Finally finished and seemingly satisfied with her acute scrutiny, Elyza speaks, “Come with me. I have a safe place to crash, and you look like you could use the company.”

“I can’t,” Alicia shakes her head. “I have to find my family.”

“Hate to break it to you, love, but you aren’t going to find a bloody thing in the dark. Come on, I’ll bring you back in the morning. That’s a promise.”

“I’m just supposed to trust you? After you had a shotgun pointed at me for the better part of 5 minutes?”

“Here, love,” Elyza says as she reaches down to the thigh holster on her right leg. She deftly removes the pistol, flips the safety on, and tosses the gun to Alicia. Alicia fumbles the catch as she drops the branch she was holding, but soon maintains control over the firearm. She looks up at Elyza who smirks and barely shrugs her shoulder. “I trust you know how to handle one of those?”

Alicia can do nothing but glare. It is then that Alicia finally notices how dangerous this woman looks. The empty thigh holster on her right leg is not the only place she has weapons stored. A twin holster on her left leg contains a pistol as well as extra clips. The shotgun she still holds has a strap hanging off full of extra shells, and when Elyza tossed the gun towards Alicia, she could have sworn she saw a glimpse of a knife sheath hidden under the sleeve of her right forearm. Alicia finishes her quick assessment and looks back into the eyes of this stranger. She sees a flash of ferociousness.

Elyza suddenly throws the strap of her shotgun over her shoulder and quickly approaches. In a swift movement, the blonde pulls a knife from behind her back, holding it like an ice pick. She lifts the weapon, and Alicia barely has enough time to raise the pistol in defense before the blonde thrusts her knife forward.

Alicia turns in time to see Elyza plunge the fixed blade into the skull of an infected, now completely lifeless, inches from Alicia’s side. A little blood splatters Alicia’s cheek as Elyza rips the blade from the corpse. The body crumples to the floor with a heavy thump.

“You’ve got a little something there, love,” Elyza smirks as she reaches up, and with the sleeve of her leather jacket, gently wipes away the few specks of blood. “Better.”

The blonde squats down and wipes her knife on the corpse’s shirt before sheathing it. Without another word, she turns and walks out of the abandoned building, leaving Alicia staring at the body. She has no reason to trust this stranger, but she has no reason not to. Elyza is right. Being alone, exposed in the dark, is a bad idea, and the woman did give her a gun.

Alicia looks at the pistol in her hand and expertly ejects the clip, double-checking to see if Elyza really had given her a loaded weapon. Surprise floods Alicia’s face as she does, indeed, find a full clip of bullets. She slams the magazine back into place and tucks the pistol into the waistband of her jeans.

Alicia strides out of the building, giving one final glance to the wreckage her brother caused. The original hole that the explosion created is bigger. Debris and stone still fall into the raging river as the fierce water current continues to widen the ever-growing tunnel through the dam. It wouldn’t be long before the whole bridge collapses.

With a sudden thought, Alicia reaches into her right boot and pulls out the butterfly knife she had tucked away. With a quick flourish, she twirls the blade out and begins to mark a brief message into the side of the stone building.

Satisfied with the breadcrumb, she turns, eyes scanning for Elyza. When she sees the woman, she lets out a heavy sigh. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“Come on, love. She feels great between your thighs,” Elyza quips, straddling a black Harley Davidson motorcycle.

“That thing is going to attract every single infected from here to Texas,” Alicia chastises.

“The dead aren’t the only thing it attracts,” Elyza winks as Alicia slowly makes her way towards the woman and her bike. “Whoa there, love, there’s no need for that.”

“What?” Alicia stops in her tracks. She follows Elyza’s gaze down to her still readied knife. Realization floods her face, and Alicia smoothly flips the blade in her fingers. With a few flicks of her wrist, she safely closes the knife. Replacing the knife in her boot, Alicia looks up to see the blonde’s eyes wide in surprise. “What?” she repeats.

Alicia tilts her head slightly to the side and notices Elyza’s gaze dip down to her lips and quickly back up again. The blonde swallows thickly before regaining her composure. “So, are you going to stand there and stare all evening, or are you going to walk over here and straddle me?”

With a roll of her eyes and a disgruntled huff, Alicia climbs onto the back of the motorcycle and gently places her hands on Elyza’s waist.

“Look over my inside shoulder on turns, and don’t be afraid to hold on tight, love. Wouldn’t want you to take a tumble now,” Elyza coos as she pulls out a pair of black aviators from her jacket pocket.

Alicia feels Elyza’s arms shift and the bike grumbles to life. It’s quieter than she thought it would be; it almost sounds like a truck engine, if a truck engine purred with the ever-recognizable pop-pop pop-pop as it idled. Elyza revs the engine and without warning takes off down the road. The sudden speed of the bike startles Alicia who can’t help the audible gasp that leaves her lips as her arms tighten around the blonde in front of her.

Alicia can’t hear the chuckle that escapes Elyza, but she can sure as hell feel it. Alicia ignores the sudden flood of embarrassment in the pit of her stomach and holds on tighter, surprised at the calm that washes over her from being close to someone again.

After a few minutes, Alicia feels the exhaustion set in. Her body aches from battling the current, her lungs burn from being deprived of air, her mind races from the events of the day, and her eyes sting from keeping them open in the wind. She gives in, closes her eyes, and presses her cheek in between Elyza’s shoulder blades. She feels the woman’s muscles tense for a moment before relaxing at the new contact. Alicia can’t bring herself to care.

As the sun just begins to dip below the horizon, Elyza slows the bike to a stop. Alicia lifts her head, instantly missing the comfort of the warm body beneath her cheek.

“Best walk from here,” Elyza says gently over her shoulder. She flips the kickstand out before dismounting. “The motor, even with my lollipop in place, will attract the dead,” she explains.

“Smart,” Alicia nods as she dismounts the bike, careful to avoid brushing her leg across the hot exhaust.

“I haven’t survived this long on my own for nothing, love,” Elyza states plainly. “It will be easier this time though. You can keep an eye out while I walk the bike.”

Alicia stares at her new companion. She has always been alone? How had she survived all this time with no one but herself? And why?

“That is, of course, if you can tear your pretty green eyes from my gorgeous bod long enough to keep watch,” Elyza adds with a wink.

Alicia again ignores the blatant flirting and pulls the pistol from her waistband, ready for a fight.

“You comfortable with your balisong, love?” Elyza asks as she begins to walk her bike down the road.

“My what?”

“Your balisong. Fan knife? Butterfly knife? The wicked weapon you twirled around like a bloody sexy and intimidating warrior and currently have tucked in your boot? Are you comfortable using it?”

Alicia merely nods in response, not trusting her voice at the moment.

“Let’s tuck that pistol back in your pants and pull out the knife, yeah? If we’re taking precautions to not attract the dead with my baby here, best not attract them with gunshots unless we have to.”

Alicia doesn’t voice an answer but stops to tuck the pistol back from where she pulled it. She kneels and removes her knife from her boot. As she stands, she is sure to put an extra twirl and unnecessary flourish into opening the knife. Who is she kidding? It is completely necessary to see the wide-eyed look on Elyza’s face as she brings the balisong to a ready position.

“Guess that’s a bloody yes, then,” Elyza gulps before continuing her trek down the abandoned road.

Alicia barely contains the smirk before it spreads on her face. She follows Elyza closely keeping just a step or two behind her, her eyes searching into the near darkness.

“How much farther?” Alicia asks after a few minutes. Though they have yet to see an infected, the sun is setting quickly, and her primal need to be somewhere safe in the dark is promptly becoming urgent.

“Not far, love,” Elyza nods in the general direction in front of her. “Here we are. Home sweet home. At least for a little while.”

Alicia stops in her tracks and eyes the abandoned building in front of them, “This is where you are staying?”

“Why so surprised?” Elyza asks over her shoulder as she eliminates the last bit of distance to the front doors.

“It’s a library.”

“You’re a right sharp one, you are,” Elyza deadpans. “Watch my back while I unlock this.”

Alicia snaps out of her stupor and catches up to her new companion. She turns towards the street, scanning for any possible threat until she hears a jingle of metal. “Come on, love, hold that open so I can walk my baby in here,” Elyza gestures towards the self-closing door she just unchained.

“How ever did you manage without me?” Alicia can’t help but snark. She pauses only a moment, relishing in the subtle eyebrow raise Elyza gives her, before pulling the door open and stepping aside.

“What can I say, love?” Elyza says as she walks past Alicia and into the pitch-black library. “I’m talented.”

Alicia just gets the doors pulled shut before Elyza throws the chain through the handles. With an ease clearly gained from repetition, Elyza threads the chain over and through the handles and locks it with the padlock. She gives it a tug, ensuring the door is secure before moving to the side.

Alicia loses her in the darkness of the building but is quickly startled by the loud sound of metal scraping against the floor.

“You don’t have to help, love, but I would recommend moving out of the way,” Elyza grunts. “Unless it’s your lifelong dream to be crushed by a library bookshelf.”

Alicia steps away and watches as Elyza pushes the empty bookshelf in front of the door. With the barricade set, Elyza digs into her saddlebag and pulls out a flashlight. She hands it to Alicia.

“I know my way around here, but I assume you’d be more comfortable with that. Until I get the fire started, that is.”

Alicia presses the button and has to squint her eyes as the light floods the room. It’s a small library, cozy even, and it smells like heaven. Alicia has long since grown accustomed to the slight scent of rotting flesh in abandoned buildings, but that particular stench isn’t here. This building smells of paper and print and fantastical worlds far more pleasant than her reality.

She follows Elyza as the woman makes her way towards the center of the library. Alicia raises her eyebrows in appreciation as she notices that Elyza has blocked all windows and doors in a similar manner as the front. Every vulnerable point in the building has been fortified with heavy metal bookshelves, and even the windows have been blacked out using butcher paper and trash bags.

Caught up in admiring the care Elyza has taken with her safe house, Alicia nearly trips over said woman as she kneels to light a fire.

“Careful, love,” Elyza jests using one hand to steady Alicia before she falls. “I know I’m a looker, but that’s not really how I pictured you falling for me,” she states as the fire roars to life.

“What is with the flirting, and the lines, and the pet names?” Alicia blurts, her filter long gone from the exhausting day.

Elyza stands from her crouched position by the fire and smirks at Alicia, “I can’t help but to flirt when I see a gorgeous woman.” She pauses for a moment and then quietly asks, “Does it make you uncomfortable?”

Stunned by her shift in tone, Alicia practically shouts, “No!” She takes a deep breath and composes herself, and repeats, “No, it’s just… excessive.”

Elyza stares at her for a moment before giving her that smirk again. Alicia can see Elyza’s flirtatious line form on her lips, but before the blonde can speak, Alicia quickly changes the subject. “So why a library?”

“Vastly underrated and underappreciated, libraries are. Entertainment, useful materials, usually sparsely populated, break-room kitchens. And beanbags!” Elyza exclaims with a grin on her face as she dramatically flops onto the beanbag chair closest to the fire. She gestures for Alicia to take the one across from her, and Alicia takes a seat, a little less enthusiastically than her new companion.

“It’s the little things, love. Gotta enjoy them while we can,” she says with a knowing smirk. Elyza then reaches for something to her left and tosses it to Alicia. Alicia catches the book and flips it over, reading the title.

“Practical Magic?”

“You read it?” Elyza asks, a hint of excitement in her voice. Alicia looks down at the cover again and shakes her head.

“That there book taught me life’s five greatest lessons,” Elyza explains. She holds up her pointer finger. “Always throw spilled salt over your left shoulder.” She continues to count on her hand. “Keep rosemary by your garden gate.” Three fingers. “Add pepper to your mashed potatoes.” And a fourth. “Plant roses and lavender, for luck.”

“Those are your greatest life lessons?” Alicia retorts with a smirk. She shakes her head. Those are definitely not the lessons Alicia would assume this woman lived by. They are so trite and optimistic, and they feel completely out of place in this world. Alicia thinks over the list once more and smiles. This stranger certainly has piqued her interest. She scrunches her eyebrows in thought before asking, “What’s the fifth?”

Elyza stiffens a little and says quietly, barely audible over the crackling fire, “Ask me again some other time.”

Alicia cocks her head to the side, curious, but lets it slide. She has no right to push this woman tonight. Not when she’s been kind enough to trust her and shelter her. She gives Elyza soft look and is rewarded with that wicked smirk.

“Now, you start that book,” Elyza commands. “I’ll whip us up a little something to eat, and then you can tell me what the hell you were doing with the Proctors.”


	2. Single By Choice

“You’re saying that you brought a woman who you just met to the bullring because of a broken leg, essentially got tricked into helping operate on Proctor John by a pervie doctor, coerced into being his nurse, reunited with your family at the dam, walked out onto the bridge to be executed because your brother is shady, saved by said shady brother’s suicidal heroics, only to be caught in the current, and nearly drown as you were dragged downstream?”

“Yep,” Alicia states with a simple pop.

“Well bloody hell, love,” Elyza shakes her head. “You’re tougher than you look.”

“You aren’t the first person to tell me that,” Alicia sighs. She closes her eyes as she leans back into her beanbag chair and shifts until she is comfortable. Once content, she opens her eyes and looks across the fire at the woman currently gazing at her. “So are you going to tell me what you were doing at the dam, and why you were spying on Proctor John?”

“Who said anything about spying?” Elyza retorts, raising an eyebrow. She leans forward a little in challenge.

“You said you saw him talking to me,” Alicia states nonchalantly. “You were spying.”

Elyza glares at Alicia, waiting for her to break her eye contact. When she doesn’t, Elyza huffs and falls back into her chair. “Same old story, love. Saw something I didn’t like. Did something about it. Nearly got caught. Now they want me dead,” she says as if her story was nothing out of the ordinary.

“Same old story?” Alicia questions.

“Look here, love, the Proctors are some seriously dodgy blokes. They control everything worth trading. Drugs, booze, weapons, food, water if they had gotten the dam, women… It’s not right,” Elyza rambles.

She throws her hands in the air in exasperation. “I mean, the world has already gone to hell in a handbag, and these assholes are exploiting that. Assholes are bad enough when you don’t have to worry about the dead walking.”

Elyza leans forward towards Alicia, her shoulders slightly slumped in defeat. “I found a caravan of their drugs and who knows what else, and I blew it to hell, yeah? Didn’t make me too popular with Papa Proctor. I figure if I can get to him before he gets to me, I might have a shot. Hence, the spying.”

“For someone who says they are a loner, you sure do care about people,” Alicia smirks.

“Deadset.”

Alicia doesn’t respond. She waits to see if Elyza will take the bait and perhaps explain why she said she travels alone. When it becomes clear that her blonde companion is not going to offer anything else, Alicia reaches for her little plate of food. She scoops a heaping portion of the instant mashed potatoes onto her spoon and begins to bring it to her lips.

“Hold up there, love,” Elyza says suddenly, grabbing Alicia’s wrist. Alicia scrunches her eyebrows in confusion as she sets her spoon back on her plate. She watches as Elyza digs through a bag before pulling out a small familiar white packet. She cracks open the single serving of pepper and sprinkles a little onto Alicia’s potatoes.

“Almost forgot life lesson number three,” Elyza says with a cheeky grin and wink.

Alicia lets a full smile form on her lips as she brings the now peppered bite of food to her mouth. “Mmm, now that is a lesson I can live by. I can’t believe you actually have spices. It’s been a while since I had a properly seasoned bite of food.”

Elyza returns her smile and sprinkles pepper onto her own plate. Exhausted from the day and content for the moment, they eat the rest of their meal in silence.

With their food gone and utensils cleaned and packed away, Elyza finally speaks. “Well, best get some rest, love. This place is solid, so don’t you worry your gorgeous little head. We’ll be safe for the night.”

Without another word, Elyza begins to remove all her weapons from her person. She unclips both leg holsters and sets them gently down beside her shotgun. Next, she reaches behind her back and pulls out two twin knives. She sets them down to her other side. Elyza pulls her right arm out of her leather jacket and quickly unsnaps the wrist sheath before setting it by the other two knives. With a sudden thought, Elyza grabs a shoulder pack that Alicia didn’t even know was there and rifles through it. She pulls out another pistol, checks the magazine and carefully clips it into the empty thigh holster. Elyza takes a moment to survey her weapons and ensure they are within arms reach. She leans back into her chair before suddenly popping forward and removing a switchblade from her left motorcycle boot.

Alicia stares with her mouth slightly open, “Have enough knives on you?”

“Blades never jam or run out of bullets,” Elyza declares as she nestles herself back into the beanbag.

Alicia gives a tiny nod in agreement. The logic of the statement definitely makes sense. Blades are much more reliable in this new world than guns. Perhaps not as deadly or safe, but more reliable.

Alicia leans back into her chair and wiggles around trying to get comfortable. As she does so, her eyes scan the room, uneasy with the foreign shelter. She looks over to Elyza who has her eyes shut and seems to be already drifting off to sleep. Alicia tries to follow but finds herself snapping to attention at every tiny rogue noise. She turns over, willing her mind to quiet enough to get to some much-needed rest. Uncomfortable, she flips over trying the other side. She lets out an unsatisfied huff as she anxiously turns yet again.

“She’ll be right, love,” Elyza says gently, her eyes still closed. Alicia looks over to her new companion. “I’ve been here for a week with no problems. And I’m a light sleeper; I’ll wake and protect you from any harm. I promise. You can sleep soundly.”

Alicia smiles weakly at the blonde and finally lets her body and mind settle. She drifts off into an uneasy sleep.

\-- 

Alicia’s eyes snap open. She is sure something woke her, but she can’t make out what it was. Her mind is still foggy with sleep as she glances over to her side. The fire has all but died out, only a few coals still smoldering, yet she is still warm. Alicia moves to sit up and instinctively catches the article of clothing that falls to her waist. Her hands grab a leather jacket. She peers over at Elyza who is curled into a little ball on her beanbag, lightly snoring in her sleep. The simple gesture of covering Alicia with her jacket surprises her, and she pulls the garment tightly around herself. It smells heavenly. But then again, leather always did have that comforting smell for Alicia.

As she curls up in the jacket, she notices several scratch marks marring the otherwise perfect leather. It is far more battle-worn than anything Alicia has ever seen. The breath in her throat hitches as she sees a very distinct pattern on the right bicep, a bite mark that luckily didn’t break through the fabric. Alicia traces the scarred leather with her fingers, each groove, each tooth mark, causes a catch in her throat. The thought of Elyza being attacked and alone makes Alicia’s heart ache.

Pulled from her thoughts, Alicia’s head snaps toward the front of the library as she hears the sound that must have woken her. The chains rattle on the door, and she holds her breath as she listens. The door shifts again. Alicia tenses as she hears the unmistakable shuffle and groan of the dead. Lots of them.

“Elyza,” Alicia whispers forcefully. The blonde doesn’t even stir. So much for being a light sleeper. “Hey! Wake up,” she urges. When there is no response, Alicia heaves herself up from the comfortable chair and grabs the pistol she has laying next to her. She approaches Elyza and places her hand on her shoulder and gives it a little nudge. “Elyza!”

Alicia gasps as the sleeping woman suddenly sits up and swiftly places the tip of a knife to the underside of Alicia’s throat. Alicia huffs, annoyed. “Elyza.”

“Ah, sorry, love,” Elyza grumbles. She quickly lowers her weapon and rubs the sleep out of her eyes. “It’s been a while since I’ve woken up next to a gorgeous woman. I usually treat her to something a little more-”

Her response is cut off by a loud cry, “Help! Help me, please! Open the door!”

Elyza leaps up and swiftly re-arms herself in less than thirty seconds. She keeps one of the twin blades out and ready and nods towards Alicia’s boot. Alicia gets the message, tucks the pistol in her waistband, and pulls out her balisong. The pair moves to the front of the library, and Elyza folds back the butcher paper to assess the threat.

“Bloody hell.”

“What?” Alicia huffs, trying to peer around Elyza to the outside world.

“That dolt is gone, but he just alerted a horde to our presence,” Elyza sighs. She turns quickly and grabs Alicia’s wrist, urging her to follow. “Come on, love, we can’t stay here.”

Alicia drops her hand from Elyza’s grasp and pauses, “But we’re barricaded in. We can’t be sure they’ll sense us. Wouldn’t it be safer to try and ride this out?”

“Alicia,” Elyza begins. The use of her actual name, not a pet name instantly grabs Alicia’s attention. “We’ll be trapped if we stay here. They’ll surround us, and I don’t have the supplies to wait it out. There are too many to fight off if that happens. We’ve got to be going, love. Help me pack up.”

Alicia sighs and nods. Elyza is right. Again. She watches as Elyza squeezes her body in between the bookshelf and the front door and removes the lock and chain. The blonde tosses the items in her saddlebag and begins to walk her bike through the library with Alicia blindly following.

When they reach the center of the building, Elyza kicks out the kickstand before reaching down and tossing a shoulder bag to Alicia. “Grab what food will fit in here, love,” Elyza commands. “Quickly, yeah.”

Alicia does her best to cram as much food and water into the bag as she can while Elyza fills the saddlebags on her motorcycle with the other supplies she had laying about.

After about a minute, Alicia hears Elyza snap the bags closed and kick up the kickstand. “Ready?” she asks with a cautious smile.

Alicia nods, throws the pack over her shoulder, and follows Elyza to the back exit. She helps Elyza move the bookshelf barricade as quietly and quickly as possible and stands by the bike while Elyza unlocks and packs the chain. Elyza removes the shotgun from her back and carefully slips it into the holster attached to the front of her bike.

Alicia suddenly realizes that she still has the leather jacket in her hands. “Psst,” she whispers. Elyza looks up confused. Alicia holds the jacket up and tosses it to Elyza. She catches it with ease, and in one fluid movement, slips her arms through the sleeves and pulls it over her shoulders.

Turning around quickly, Elyza silently opens the back door and peers around the corner, her knife at the ready. Without looking back, she whispers to Alicia, “Walk her out here.”

Faltering for only a moment by the surprising weight of the bike, Alicia does as she’s told. Once she clears the door, she hears Elyza gently shut it behind them. “Hop on,” she whispers.

Alicia looks dumbfounded. “We can’t ride, Elyza. They’ll hear us.”

“Love,” Elyza shakes her head. She straddles the motorcycle and puts the key in the ignition. “They already know we’re here.”

As if on cue, the first of the horde rounds the corner and begins its clumsy stagger towards them. Elyza starts the bike and Alicia barely has time to jump on before Elyza is racing through the alley.

Alicia holds onto her companion’s waist tightly as they turn a corner onto the main street. An agonizing scream catches her attention. She whips her head around to find the man that started all this trouble howling in anguish as he is viciously devoured by the dead.

Not daring to slow the bike a fraction, Elyza reaches forward and grabs the pistol grip of her shotgun. As they pass the poor soul, she fires a single shot through the horde. The man’s screams are instantly silenced as the pair rides away from the library.

Elyza tears through the empty town swerving around abandoned cars with ease. The loud roar of the motorcycle definitely attracts the attention of more than a few infected, but they are traveling far too fast for it to be a problem. When the town is nothing but a memory behind them, Alicia feels Elyza finally ease up on the gas. Pulling her head from the safety of Elyza’s back, Alicia notices the direction they are headed.

“We’re going back to the dam?” Alicia shouts.

“I promised I’d take you back. Just a little sooner than expected,” Elyza replies, keeping her eyes on the road.

Alicia feels her heart unexpectedly sink. Sometime between being held at gunpoint by this woman and clinging to her waist as they sped through the small town in escape, Alicia has developed the naive thought that she had found a new companion in this messed up world. Someone who she could grow to care about, to travel with, to help her find her family. But that is a false hope.

Alicia shakes her head as if the gesture would rid her mind of the betraying thoughts. Elyza said she was alone. She shouldn’t assume she’d make an exception for her. Alicia sighs and tucks her head back behind Elyza’s shoulders. If she only has a few more minutes with her, she’ll take the shelter from the wind and the comfort of the warm body for as long as she can.

Far too soon, Elyza brings her bike to a stop. “Here we are, love. You have been returned, as promised,” she says turning the engine off.

Alicia feels the shudder of the motor come to a halt and swings her leg over the bike. She removes the shoulder pack and hands it wordlessly to Elyza. The blonde nods and throws the bag over her own shoulder.

“Stay out of trouble, yeah? Can’t have you getting scarred up or munched on. There’s a shortage of perfect faces in the world. It would be a pity to damage yours,” Elyza says with that smirk.

“The Princess Bride,” Alicia smiles at the memory. “Although I think the line references perfect breasts.”

Elyza returns her smile, “Thought I’d PG it up for you. You’ve read it?”

“Seen it,” Alicia shrugs. She stares at the blonde for a minute more, and the obvious tension in the air begins to weigh down heavily on her. She moves to say something, to ease this awkward farewell but is beaten to the punch.

“Right,” Elyza says clearing her throat. She fidgets with the shotgun in its holster needlessly pulling it out and replacing it. “Well, I do hope you find your family, love.”

Alicia thinks she’s doing a good job at hiding the disappointment she feels as Elyza moves to restart her bike, but the look on the blonde’s face says otherwise. With a sudden bout of impulsiveness, Alicia quickly shouts, “You don’t have to go. I could use the company, and my family, I’m sure they would-”

Elyza raises a hand in the air, effortlessly stopping Alicia’s plea. “No offense, love, you’re brilliant and lovely, and it has sure as bloody hell been fun to have someone to crack on for the past few hours, but I go it alone. It’s how I survive.”

What is it with everyone she meets wanting to be alone? “It doesn’t have to be,” Alicia shrugs.

“Traveling with people just isn’t my bowl of rice, love. Maybe we’ll cross paths again.” Elyza kicks up her kickstand and reaches her hand towards the key.

“Wait!” Alicia shouts. She pulls out the pistol she had tucked in the waistband of her jeans and motions to Elyza, prepared to toss it to the blonde.

“Keep it, love. My parting gift,” the blonde states. She suddenly reaches behind her and rummages through a saddlebag. Alicia looks on curiously as Elyza pulls a book out, and without warning, tosses it to her. Alicia nearly drops the pistol in her hand as she catches the book.

“Finish it. It’s worth it. The little things, yeah?” And with that, Elyza revs the engine and takes off into the sunrise.

Alicia shakes her head, but tucks the book into the back of her jeans, followed by her pistol. She only met Elyza a handful of hours ago, but the loss she feels as she watches the blonde disappear into the horizon rivals the loss of her family. It’s stupid. She knows it is. Maybe it’s just the thought of truly being alone with no plan, no idea if her family is actually out there. Maybe it’s that relationships in this world are different. Snap judgments are made. Instincts are trusted. People don’t have the luxury of getting to know one another over time. That’s just it. There is no time. Tomorrow is less of a guarantee than it ever was. Whatever Elyza is or was or could have been, Alicia sighs at the loss.

She makes her way over to the door of the dam that she walked out of not 12 hours earlier. Her head cocks to the side as she spies a short message carved into the stone just under her own. Alicia sprints to the door and runs her hand along the etched words. The soft light of the early sunrise is just enough for her to read it.

_Proctors here_

_Not safe_

_East_

_xM_

Alicia sucks in a deep breath and draws her gun quickly. Pistol up and aimed, she turns and scans her surroundings. It’s still quiet. There is not a person in sight. Perhaps the Proctors moved on. Perhaps her mother drew them away.

Alicia begins to lower her weapon as the solid rock wall beside her head splinters with an ear-shattering bang. She looks up to see a perfect bullet hole, inches from her face.

“Alicia from Los Angeles,” an oh-so-familiar voice greets. “You survived. You really are tougher than you look.”

Alicia brings her pistol back up and aims it at the man standing in front of her. “I told you I was. I’m no liar.”

“Put that down, sweetheart,” Proctor John states. “You can’t kill us all.”

Alicia takes a moment to look around her again as five other Proctors step out from behind cars and all point an assortment of firearms her way. She steels herself.

“Maybe not,” she says flatly. “But I could kill you.”

Proctor John lets out a chuckle. He gently places his hand on the revolver on his hip. The gesture isn’t aggressive, in fact, it comes off almost as accidental, but Alicia isn’t foolish enough to not see it as the threat it is. She tightens the grip on her own pistol.

“You know,” he says, looking at her with a slight twinkle in his eye. “I was just going to shoot you right here and now, but I like your spirit. Offer still stands, Nurse. Sail with me to Houston.”

Alicia tenses her jaw before answering. “I thought you said you couldn’t trust me after you killed Nick.”

“Not to be my personal nurse, no. But I have other uses for a girl like you,” he practically drawls. Proctor John slightly cocks his head to the side before adding, “Besides, I didn’t kill your brother.”

“What?” Alicia falters.

An explosion suddenly echoes through the dam behind her. Alicia snaps her head left and right, searching for the source of the commotion. The Proctors in front of her mimic her curiosity. After a few tense seconds, all eyes land back on Alicia. She keeps her gaze on Proctor John, waiting for the cause of the explosion to become clear. Another strained minute passes with no one saying a word.

Proctor John is the first to break the silence. “What are you up to, Alicia?”

Before Alicia can open her mouth and respond, she is cut off by an almost cheerful Australian accent. “Did you know that your family missed some C4 when they rigged the dam, love?” Elyza appears from the door behind Alicia, a grin on her face.

“Elyza Lex,” Proctor John nearly growls.

“Papa Proctor! Is that really you? I seem to remember you being a lot shorter, mate,” Elyza quips; using her hand to indicate the height he was in a wheelchair. She shrugs and walks a few feet forward, standing just slightly in front of Alicia.

“I seem to remember you being a lot deader,” Proctor John deadpans. He turns his head towards one of the men behind him and rolls his eyes in exasperation, “I was told she was taken care of.” The man Proctor John addresses visibly shrinks in fear.

“Guess your men aren’t all that trustworthy, mate,” Elyza laughs. “Is that your truck parked down the road there? The one surrounded by the bloody cheap ass choppers. It is, isn’t it? What’s in it this time? Nothing too important, I hope,” she says as she pulls a detonator from behind her back.

“Little girl, I’ve already been here before,” Proctor John sighs. He pulls his revolver from his hip and lazily points it at Elyza. “I made the mistake of not shooting that one’s brother while I had the chance. A mistake I won’t make twice.”

“Not so fast, mate. I’m a right bit smarter than her bro,” Elyza smirks. She holds up the detonator higher, her finger already pressing the trigger. “Found a dead man’s switch.”

“You’re bluffing,” Proctor John huffs.

Alicia barely notices the blonde’s free hand tuck behind her back. Elyza wiggles her fingers to pull her attention and casually opens her fist. Alicia gulps as she sees a grenade palmed in Elyza’s hand. Where the hell did this woman get a grenade?

“You know what, mate, you’re right,” Elyza says in defeat. She lowers the detonator to her side, using the motion to discreetly pull the pin in her other hand. “I don’t bloody know how to rig a dead man’s switch. But I do know how to play catch.”

Elyza tosses the grenade directly into the middle of the Proctors and grabs Alicia’s wrist, dragging her in the opposite direction as fast as possible. The explosion pierces Alicia’s ears as she feels Elyza shove her to the ground and dive on top of her, shielding her from the debris. Not a second passes before strong hands are dragging up Alicia.

“Up we go, love,” Elyza grunts, grabbing her hand once again and pulling her towards her waiting and ready Harley. Alicia needs no further instructions as she hops on the back and wraps her arms around Elyza.

Elyza starts the bike and revs the engine. Alicia watches as the blonde finally releases the grip she still has on the detonator. Another explosion echoes loudly over the dam, and Alicia sees smoke, motorcycle parts, and debris flying through the air in the near distance.

“I thought you said you didn’t know how to rig the dead man’s switch,” Alicia gapes.

“I lied, love,” Elyza smirks before tearing off down the road. Alicia tightens her grip around the blonde and presses her cheek against the warm leather covering her back, breathing deeply.

She doesn’t know where Elyza is taking her, and she doesn’t care. For the moment, Alicia is perfectly content riding into the sunrise on the back of this stranger’s motorcycle away from the threat of a criminal motorcycle gang in the middle of a goddamn apocalypse.


	3. Ride the Ride

If the sun is anything to go by, they had been traveling for several hours by the time Elyza guides the bike off the main road towards a tiny roadside convenience store. The small parking lot is peppered with several abandoned cars, all sporting Arizona license plates. It has definitely been several hours. Elyza pulls up near one of the cars and hops off gracefully.

“I don’t know about you, love, but I could use a stretch, and the bike needs a refill,” Elyza says simply. She offers her hand to Alicia who cautiously takes the help. Her legs are stiff, and her body is surprisingly sore from hanging onto a motorcycle for so many hours. After Alicia is safely off the bike, Elyza drops her hand and lifts both arms up over her head, stretching out slowly.

“So that’s it?” Alicia snaps, too exhausted from the morning’s events to care about tact. “No explanation?”

Elyza drops her arms down and rolls her shoulders out. “Explanation for what, love?” she asks innocently.

Alicia lets out an annoyed huff. “Coming back to the dam. Saving me. Blowing up another Proctor truck. The damn grenade you randomly had. Take your pick.”

“Where I come from, when someone saves your life, we say thank you,” Elyza retaliates calmly.

Alicia physically recoils with the guilt bomb just dropped on her. She really hadn’t even said thank you to the woman who risked her life to save her own. Alicia instantly calms and takes in a big dose of humility before muttering a simple “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome!” Elyza beams, completely unaffected by Alicia’s earlier anger. “Can you reach into that bag right there, grab the siphon?”

Alicia nods and rummages through the saddlebag quickly finding the clear plastic tube. She hands it to Elyza before stating, “I’m going to take a look in the store. See if there’s anything useful.”

Elyza nods and begins to check the nearby car for gas. “Watch your back, love,” she says over her shoulder.

“Watch yours,” Alicia adds as she makes her way towards the rundown little shop. She pulls out her balisong and enters the convenience store cautiously. Her quick scan deems the area clear, and she relaxes a fraction as she begins to pilfer through the picked over shelves. Alicia grabs the few remaining protein bars and stuffs them in Elyza’s pack.

She suddenly freezes as she hears the distinct groan of the dead. Alicia looks around the aisle, and her eyes finally land on an infected slowly crawling towards her. Its legs uselessly drag behind itself, clearly mangled. No wonder she didn’t see it before.

Without a single thought, she walks over to the corpse and jams her blade into its skull. After ripping her balisong out of its decaying brain, Alicia hops over the front counter and forages through the shelves underneath. She pushes useless boxes and paper to the side and smiles to herself when she finally pulls out exactly what she was hoping to find. Alicia stuffs the box of shotgun cartridges into her pack and is about to hop back over the counter when she sees another opened box of ammo. She packs away the remaining 9mm bullets and makes her way outside.

Alicia scans the parking lot, her eyes searching for her new companion. Her breath instantly catches in her throat as her gaze finally lands on Elyza hunched over a body with a live walker alarmingly close to her. Elyza seems completely oblivious to the impending threat, so Alicia quickly drops her pack and rushes over, sinking her knife into the infected’s skull. The body stills and drops to the ground with a sickening thump, just a few feet away from Elyza.

The aforementioned woman finally turns her head towards Alicia, a plain look on her face. “Thanks, love,” she shrugs.

Alicia just stands there, her mouth slightly open, her eyebrows furrowed, her body nearly twitching with anger at the other woman’s non-reaction to almost being bitten.

“Just a thanks?” Alicia huffs. “Elyza, that thing almost bit you! And you don’t seem to care!”

“Hey, hey, love, relax,” Elyza says. She stands and takes a step towards Alicia.

“Relax? I can’t relax!” Alicia shouts. All the emotions she had been suppressing over the past few days are suddenly and overwhelmingly springing to the surface. She knows this small encounter with Elyza isn’t really to blame. It’s just the straw that broke the camel’s back, but Alicia doesn’t have the strength to reel in her emotions any longer.

“This world has gone to shit! We were almost overrun by the dead last night, you left me at the dam, and then you came back and we were almost shot by the Proctors this morning, and you won’t give me an explanation as to why you’re staying with me and helping me, and now you just almost got bitten and you don’t even care! How can you expect me to relax? That was just the past 6 hours! I don’t even want to get into what happened a few days ago.”

“Alicia, it’s okay,” Elyza states, her voice calm and even. “I knew it was there. I was about to waste the bloody thing. You just beat me to it,” Elyza consoles. She holds her hands up for Alicia. “See?” Elyza says, holding up her knife. “I was prepared.”

Alicia scoffs and turns away, wanting to hide the burning tears she can’t keep at bay.

“Look at you, love,” Elyza coos soothingly. She places a warm hand on Alicia’s shoulder and gives it a tiny squeeze. “This chivalrous savior thing you have going on is bloody sexy,” Elyza teases. Alicia can’t see her face, but she definitely hears the grin on her voice.

After a moment, Elyza drops her hand from Alicia’s shoulder and clears her throat. “Here.”

Alicia finally turns around to see Elyza holding out a drop leg holster towards her. “I was pulling this off that bloke there when you found me. Better than tucking it in your waistband, yeah?” she says with a knowing grin.

Alicia extends her hand to grab the holster, but Elyza pulls it away. “Allow me, love. Unbuckle your belt.”

Alicia blindly follows her instruction and lets Elyza slip the loop through the right side of her belt. With the belt loop in place, Alicia begins to buckle it back up. She abruptly takes in a sharp breath of air and looks down. Elyza has dropped to her knees and is sliding her hand around her upper thigh, securely fixing the two straps of the holster to her leg.

Alicia swallows thickly at the touch and closes her eyes, suddenly very aware of how intimate the position seems. Alicia tenses and spares another glance down and is met with blue eyes shining up at her. Elyza smirks and gives a wink before standing up.

“Almost set,” Elyza says. She stands in front of Alicia and reaches around her back and gently pulls the pistol from her jeans. She squats down again and deftly clips the Glock into place. Elyza finally stands and takes a step back, admiring her handy work. “How’s it feel, love?”

“What?” Alicia eventually responds, shaking her head slightly.

“How’s it feel?” Elyza repeats, all hints of flirtation gone. “Not too tight is it?”

“No, it’s good. Thanks,” Alicia confirms with more conviction than she feels. She walks briskly over to the bag she tossed on the ground and returns to Elyza. “This reminds me. I found a box of shotgun shells and about half a box of 9mm rounds. I know that’s what this takes,” Alicia states, gesturing towards her now holstered pistol. “What about yours?”

“Same. Nice find, love,” Elyza praises. “Ready to go?”

“Yeah,” Alicia says. “Where are we headed?”

“Not sure,” Elyza shrugs as they walk back towards the Harley. “You got any ideas?”

Stopping next to the bike, Alicia looks directly into Elyza’s eyes, nervous about what the woman might say to her next statement. “My family is headed east.”

“East it is,” Elyza nods and mounts her bike nonchalantly.

Alicia stares, astounded by that response. “You don’t mind? The company, that is.”

“I figure it might be time to change my rules, yeah?” Elyza grins.

The gesture warms Alicia’s whole body. “I’m honored that the infamous Elyza Lex is bending the rules for me,” Alicia teases.

“What can I say, love? I’m easily swayed by a pretty face,” she winks. “Now hop on.”

\-- 

The road is thankfully clear as the pair head east. Elyza skillfully weaves her Harley around scattered debris and abandoned cars, and Alicia just hangs on for the ride. As the sun begins its descent towards the horizon, Elyza pulls off the main road again and stops at a tiny little roadside strip mall. The place seems eerily untouched from the outside.

“What do you think, love?” Elyza asks over her shoulder. “Supply run?”

“Hell yes,” Alicia practically shouts, eager to get up and stretch her sore muscles. As she finally sets her feet on the ground and stretches her cramped legs, she lets out an involuntary and slightly embarrassing moan. She stiffens right up when she hears Elyza try and contain her laugh.

“Feels good, yeah?” Elyza smirks. Alicia doesn’t offer a response and simply continues to stretch out her body deliciously. Her movements are suddenly halted by a husky voice. “Turn around, love.”

“Excuse me?” Alicia falters, staring at her companion. Elyza simply motions with her finger to turn around, and Alicia eventually complies, but not without a grumble of protest.

With her back facing Elyza, Alicia feels the blonde unzip the bag on her shoulder and empty most of the contents into her saddlebag. Right. Makes sense. More room for supplies now. Alicia turns around with a sheepish smile and follows Elyza as she walks her bike towards the shop in the middle of the mall.

Elyza grins at Alicia before wiggling her eyebrows toward the store, asking the silent question. Alicia nods, pulls out her knife, and approaches the door cautiously. It’s unlocked. After all the events of the past day, Alicia is relieved to finally have a little bit of luck on her side. She pulls open the door and quickly scans the abandoned shop. She hears a few hisses and groans, a clear indication of the dead inside, but it doesn’t sound like it’s too many.

“There are a few infected inside,” she whispers to Elyza. “Not too many. I think we can clear them out easy enough.”

“Shall we?” Elyza nods.

Alicia holds the door open to its fullest extent and steps aside, providing Elyza enough room to walk her bike through the door. Once inside, Elyza pulls one of her twin blades out and motions for Alicia to follow. They make their way silently through the shop, quickly approaching the back storage room. The groans increase in volume the closer they get.

Elyza presses an ear to the door and pauses for a moment. She lifts her head and addresses Alicia. “Three.”

“You sure?” Alicia asks carefully.

“One way to find out.”

With that, Elyza slams the door open and steps to the side as the first of the dead comes stumbling out. Elyza sinks her knife into its skull with no hesitation. As Elyza handles the first, Alicia steps forward, just barely entering the storage room and slams her blade into the eye socket of the second.

Alicia quickly glances up and sees Elyza effortlessly dispatch of the third walker that stumbled from the room. Alicia pulls at her balisong sunk deep in the skull of the dead she just killed, but her hand slips from the handle, slick with rotting blood. She grabs at the knife again, but her hand slides off. Panic sets in as she sees another dead approach from the back of the storage room. Alicia tries to wipe the blood from her hand and desperately struggles to grip her blade. It’s no use. The infected shuffles closer and closer, but the near it gets, the less grip Alicia is able to get on her blade.

As the dead gets dangerously close, Alicia abandons her balisong and steps back out of reach of the approaching walker. She moves to unclip the pistol from her leg and yelps as her heel catches on a corpse, sending her crashing to the floor. She lands with a painful thump and desperately throws her hands up, pushing the walker’s shoulders away. Using every bit of strength she has, Alicia struggles to keep its nipping mouth from reaching her flesh.

“Alicia!”

Alicia takes a second to glance over and sees Elyza, too far away to reach her in time, toss one of her twin blades towards Alicia. Alicia quickly removes one hand from the grip on the walker and catches the hilt of the knife. She slams the blade up and into the infected’s skull, sighing in relief as the corpse above her instantly stills. Exhausted, Alicia’s muscles finally give out, and she lets the body fall heavily on top of her. She closes her eyes trying to calm her rapid heartbeat and keeps them shut even as she feels the dead weight being pulled off of her.

“Alicia, love, are you okay?” Elyza’s voice echoes, softened by the steady pounding of Alicia’s pulse in her ears. “Bloody hell, are you bit?” Alicia feels strong hands slide up and down her arms and shoulders searching for any sign of a wound. “Alicia, Alicia, look at me, love.”

“I’m fine,” Alicia stammers, finally opening her eyes. Elyza continues to physically and visually search her body for any injury. Alicia stills her hands with her own, eager to try and soothe the manic woman above her. “I’m fine, Elyza,” she repeats slowly and begins to sit up. Elyza finally seems to relax and drops her hands to her side. Her arms twitch upwards, and Alicia is sure the woman is about to wrap her in a fierce embrace, but Elyza drops her arms down just as quickly as she lifted them.

“I thought you said there were only three?” Alicia chastises. Though the words seem harsh, her tone is anything but.

“Ah, sorry?” Elyza grimaces with an apologetic shrug.

Choosing to ignore her companion, for now, Alicia holds her hands in the air. “Help me up.” Elyza sits back on her heels, grabs Alicia’s hands, and uses her momentum to pull them both up to their feet. “Thanks for the assist back there,” Alicia continues. “But why didn’t you just shoot it?”

“Don’t be mad, love,” Elyza gulps, still grasping both Alicia’s hands in hers. “But I went on instinct. I always reach for the knives first. The guns are a last option. The noise, yeah?” Elyza releases her hands and takes a step back, waiting for Alicia’s inevitable scolding.

Alicia smirks at Elyza’s visible relaxation when she chooses to not say a word about using the knife over the gun.

“No offense, love, but you could really use a wardrobe change,” Elyza says suddenly with her nose up in the air.

“What? Decaying viscera and blood, not doing it for you?” Alicia teases.

“When the occasion calls for it, but I’m thinking something more along the lines of this.” Elyza holds up a clean pair of jeans, a tank top, and a new belt.

“Is that what you were looking at while I was nearly eaten by the dead?” Alicia sasses. She’s met with just a sheepish little shrug. Alicia can’t fight the smirk that appears on her face.

“There’s a restroom back there, looks like,” Elyza motions to the door in the corner. “I’ll go scout the rest of the store.”

Alicia sighs and squats down, finally calm enough to effectively remove her balisong from the corpse. She cleans the blade on its shirt before walking over to Elyza. Alicia gives a little half smile as she takes the clean clothes from her and makes her way to the back restroom.

After a quick search finds the room empty, Alicia shrugs out of her filthy pants, jacket, and shirt. The water mercifully still works, and she’s able to clean up for the first time since arriving at the dam. Was that really only yesterday? It seems like weeks had passed since she last saw her family. She gives another heavy sigh before finishing her current task.

Relatively clean, she makes her way back into the shop and smiles when she sees the display on the back wall. She’s been needing a new pair of boots. After being waterlogged, her current ones just don’t fit the same and were quickly becoming a problem.

Alicia finds her size in a style that looks far more functional than fashionable and pulls on the cowboy boots. She lets out a huff of laughter. She never really understood why Southerners always wore these boots. She had always assumed it was a fashionable cultural thing, but slipping these on, she finally understands. Cowboy boots are damn comfortable.

Alicia tucks her balisong into her boot and surveys the shop again, finding a display of plaid shirts off to the side. She flips through the selection and grabs one in her size.

Shirt in hand, Alicia looks around the shop, searching for that now familiar blonde hair. She sees Elyza in the nearby room stuffing jerky and nuts into the shoulder pack. Throwing the shirt over her shoulders, Alicia quickly approaches. “What kind of store is this? Western wear and a convenience store in one?”

“I’m not complaining, love,” Elyza states. She finishes cramming the food into her pack and looks up. Alicia sees her blue eyes widen as they almost shamelessly look up and down her body.

“Bloody hell, you clean up nice!” Elyza beams. “This is a good look on you. And you managed to strap on the drop leg holster all by yourself! I’m so proud.” With a sniffle, Elyza dramatically wipes a fake tear from her cheek.

“Shut up,” Alicia jests playfully, landing a soft shove to Elyza’s shoulder. Alicia revels in the ease and comfort of their banter for a moment before setting her mind back to the more pressing matter. “Find anything good?”

“Mmm, food, some water, and these!” Elyza holds up two bracelets. Alicia takes one in her hand, staring at it suspiciously.

“I’m not sure jewelry is necessary.”

“Ah, that’s where you’re wrong, love,” Elyza smirks. She presses a hidden clasp, and Alicia marvels as a small, very sharp looking, curved blade appears. “Clever, yeah?”

Alicia nods, impressed with the concealed knife. She holds hers up and looks over at Elyza’s. “You picked out matching ones for us?”

Alicia swears she sees Elyza blush, but the Aussie composes herself quickly.

“And you’ll be needing these, love,” Elyza hands over a pair of brown wayfarer sunglasses. Alicia takes the glasses and gives Elyza another skeptical look. “So you don’t have to bury your face in my back every time we ride,” she elaborates. And then with another smirk, “Not that I mind you nuzzling up against me.”

Alicia rolls her eyes and puts on the glasses. She makes a rather dramatic pose as she looks up at Elyza. “How do I look?” she jokes.

“Gorgeous,” Elyza breathes, her voice missing its usual obvious flirty tone. Alicia drops her ridiculous face and slowly removes the glasses. She glances over at the blonde who is suddenly very interested in the display of cowboy hats to her right.

“What do you think, love? Can I pull it off?” Elyza jests, her voice back to its normal playful tone.

Alicia walks over and grabs the hat from her head, placing it on her own. “I wear it better.”

“That you do,” Elyza responds with the first genuine smile Alicia has seen her give and can’t help the one spreading on her own face. They smile at each other for a second longer than appropriate before Elyza drops her gaze and asks, “Ready to blow this popsicle stand, shelter for the night?”

Alicia nods, her face flush with whatever just happened. “Where are we headed?”

“I found a map of local shops while you were cleaning up. There’s a bookstore not too far from here,” Elyza states. She walks over and pulls the hat from Alicia’s head; she dramatically bows holding the hat to her chest. “I reckon we can check it out, little lady,” Elyza says with quite possibly the worst southern accent Alicia has ever heard.

\-- 

The ride to the bookshop is uneventful and short. With her new sunglasses in place, Alicia is finally able to look over Elyza’s shoulder and actually see all the remnants of society as they speed down the road. Turning a corner, Elyza pulls her motorcycle to a stop and hops off.

“Shop should be just around there. Best walk now, yeah?” She points towards a cute little row of shops down the street, and Alicia can’t help but admire how nice it would have been to visit a place like this when there weren’t the dead milling about. Alicia nods and pulls her knife from her boot. With her usual flourish, she flips open the balisong. She takes a half jog forward and sinks the blade into an approaching infected.

“Lead the way,” she says, wiping the bloody knife clean. Alicia glances back at Elyza who is sporting a grin that is somewhere between amusement, surprise, and admiration. “What?” Alicia asks.

“Nothing,” Elyza shrugs, walking her bike slowly towards Alicia. “We should get you another knife. You only have one.”

“Two,” Alicia corrects holding up her left arm. The bracelet Elyza found currently rests comfortably on her wrist.

“Ah, but that’s not really going to help against the dead, love. That’s for sticky situations caused by a far more dangerous villain,” Elyza comments. Alicia worries her jaw slightly. She is all too familiar with the lack of humanity left in this world. Elyza, sensing the shift in her emotions, speaks up again, “I’m thinking something bigger for you. Bowie knife? Arkansas toothpick? Kukri? Trench knife? Ooh, I’ve got it! Tanto blade.”

“One: your knowledge of knives is both impressive and alarming,” Alicia states as she dispatches of another clumsy corpse ambling towards them. “Two: I like my butterfly knife.” Alicia twirls the knife in her hand, needlessly flipping the blade around, closing it and opening it again with practiced ease. “And three: where the hell would we even find anything like that?”

“You’d be surprised, love,” Elyza replies. “Here we are. What do you think?”

Alicia walks up to the abandoned storefront and peeks in through the window. Books scatter the floor and a few of the shelves have been knocked over, but the place looks relatively intact. Alicia turns back towards Elyza and gives a tiny shrug.

Elyza kicks her kickstand out and unsheathes both of her twin knives. She gives the glass door a little pull and lets out a sigh of relief, as the door swings open. The woman pauses in the doorway, scanning the small store before banging loudly on the metal doorframe with the hilt of a knife.

“What are you doing?” Alicia exclaims in an alarmed whisper. “You’ll attract them!”

“That’s the idea, love,” Elyza states, never taking her eyes off the room in front of her. Alicia tenses her muscles as she hears the groan of the dead. A single corpse drags its decaying body awkwardly towards them. Elyza takes a step and easily slides her left blade through the ear and into the brain of the infected. She doesn’t let the body hit the floor and grunts with the strain of her muscles. “Wouldn’t say no to some help.”

Alicia quickly walks over and relieves some of the weight as they drag the body out the front door. With the corpse gone, the pair enters the little shop, matching each other stride for stride as if they had been traveling together for longer than a day. They search the store thoroughly but thankfully find no other signs of the dead. Elyza does a quick check of the back exit before meeting Alicia back in the main room.

“All good?” Alicia asks.

“Got rid of one of the dead just in the alley. Bloody thing was mad as a cut snake. Somehow got itself trapped behind a dumpster. Bloke was damn near severed in two,” Elyza explains.

“Nice,” Alicia retorts sarcastically with a disgusted look on her face. Elyza ignores her and walks her bike inside the shop. While Elyza chains up the front door, Alicia removes her shoulder pack and grabs the shelf nearest the door. She heaves it up and smiles as she feels Elyza grab the opposite end. Together, they barricade the front door and the display window, the only two vulnerable spots in the shop.

Feeling as safe as they can, Alicia makes her way over to Elyza who is squatting near a pile of books on the floor. She pulls one after another, tossing some to her right and others to her left.

“What are you doing?” Alicia asks curiously.

“Sorting,” Elyza states.

Alicia rolls her eyes. “I can see that, but why?”

“Kindling.”

Alicia huffs and throws herself back on the couch in the corner, content to just let Elyza do Elyza. It doesn’t take long before the blonde has set up a perfect little firepit near the couch enveloping Alicia with the comfort warmth often brings.

“So you’ll only burn certain books?” Alicia smiles.

“Seems wrong to burn any old book. Maybe someday people will be able to enjoy these again,” she says as she plops down opposite Alicia. She pulls her legs up on the couch, mirroring Alicia’s position, their legs barely touching one another and opens a book.

Alicia lets out a huff of laughter as she spies the title: “Knife Throwing: A Practical Guide.”

“Light reading?”

“It’s a mad world out there, love. Gotta stay prepared,” Elyza states without a single ounce of sarcasm. “You can borrow it after I’m through if you’d like.”

Alicia just opens her copy of “Practical Magic” flipping to her spot and settles into the couch. If she lets her body lean up against Elyza’s just a little more than could be considered strictly friendly, neither woman says anything.

\-- 

Alicia flutters her eyes open at the sudden contact. Before she can register what woke her, she sits straight up with a gasp, her hand flying towards the pistol she had resting on the floor. Before she can wrap her fingers around the grip, Elyza grabs her shoulders, “Whoa there, love. It’s okay. You’re safe.”

Alicia lets out a puff of air calming herself. “Jesus, Elyza. What the hell?”

“Sorry, I just thought you’d like to eat a little something,” Elyza motions towards the still burning fire, and Alicia can smell the food cooking. “I made my specialty.”

She shuffles towards the fire and removes the pot, carefully pouring half its contents into a coffee mug, and hands it to Alicia. Alicia takes the offered mug and laughs as she spies the text on the front. “When I think about books, I touch my shelf,” she reads aloud, her eyebrows raised at the blonde.

“Found it in the break room,” Elyza shrugs. “It’s funny. You laughed.”

“It’s horrible,” Alicia whines.

“Agree to disagree, love,” Elyza smirks. She grabs a spoon and swallows a bite directly from the pot. “Eat your soup.”

Alicia obliges her and brings the mug to her lips. It does actually smell appetizing, and she is eagerly anticipating the sensation of being sated. She takes a sip. “Mmm, it’s good,” she hums appreciatively. “I mean, as good as dried meat, water, and canned green beans can be.”

“You can cook next time,” Elyza retorts, feigning hurt. Alicia smirks as she takes another gulp of her soup. She spares a glance over her mug at the woman in front of her who is contentedly eating her own meal. She marvels at what she’s learned about her over the past 24 hours. This woman who would have easily killed her when they met, wound up saving her. She is kind, caring, brave, a little reckless, charming as all hell, and yet she’s alone. By her own choice. But here she is, sitting not five feet from her sharing a meal with her. It doesn’t make sense in the least.

“I don’t understand you,” Alicia comments as she sets her empty mug on the floor next to her.

“What do you mean?” Elyza asks curiously.

“You tell me you’re this loner, who doesn’t travel with anyone, and I can’t help but to think it’s because you’re this heartless bitch of a human being, but I’ve never been more wrong in my entire life,” Alicia rambles. She waits for Elyza to respond, but when she doesn’t, Alicia presses on. “So what happened?”

“What are you on about?” Elyza snaps.

Not paying any attention to her companion’s anger, Alicia continues, “What happened to you? Why were you alone? Why do you claim to want to be alone? Something caused you to think that’s the only way.”

“Alicia,” Elyza cautions, clearly not wanting the discussion to go on.

“I get it,” Alicia interrupts. She registers the discomfort radiating off Elyza, but she’s far too curious and far too determined to stop.

“I mean, I thought the same thing. I went through something, found out some horrible things about my mother, about the reality of this world, and god, I just needed to escape. I needed space, time to myself, time away from my mother. But not two days into it, I met a woman. A woman who claimed the same thing as you. Friendships, relationships in this world, aren’t worth it. But here’s the thing, Elyza. Without her, I could have easily died in a damn ball pit.”

Alicia sees Elyza perk up with interest at the mention of the ball pit, but before she can interrupt her she quickly adds with a shake of her head, “Don’t ask.”

Alicia takes a deep breath and forges on, determined to make her point. “And without me, she would have been killed by a group of murderous thieves. People need people. The companionship, the comfort, the safety, the banter. It’s the little things, right?”

Alicia finishes with a small shrug, hoping Elyza’s own words would drive home her point. Over the past 24 hours, Alicia has realized that this woman could easily be part of her life in this world. She wants her to be. As much as she wants to find her family, she wants Elyza to be part of it too. She looks up expectantly at her companion hoping to find resignation or acceptance or something hopeful. Instead, she is met with fiery blue eyes.

“You don’t need to hear my sad little story. It’s not important. But if you want to know why I travel alone, it’s because sometimes it’s easier to only care for yourself. No attachments mean no chances of doing something bloody stupid in the name of love,” Elyza practically growls.

Alicia takes a deep understanding breath. So that’s it. Someone Elyza loved died for her. Died to save her. Alicia gives a half-hearted smile before offering a genuine, “I’m sorry.”

“That’s life,” Elyza states, her voice hard and emotionless.

Alicia knows she should just stop now. She knows she doesn’t deserve any other confessions from Elyza, but she’s so stubborn. Stubborn to a fault, really. “So why did you come back for me?” she asks, her voice hesitant and quiet.

“I don’t know,” Elyza huffs. She throws her hands in the air out of frustration and snarls, “I guess I was doing something bloody stupid-”

She words are interrupted by a loud pop pop pop. The gunshots were unmistakable. Alicia’s eyes dart to the front of the store, pointlessly trying to see through their barricade of empty shelves.

It is Elyza that breaks the tense silence; her voice calm and soothing but with a slight edge that wasn’t present before. “That’s far away. She’ll be right,” Elyza grabs Alicia’s hand and gives it a little squeeze before dropping it quickly. “But just to be safe, we should sleep in turns, yeah?”

Alicia nods. “I’ll take first watch.”

Elyza hands Alicia her shotgun before removing her jacket. She curls up on the couch and drapes her coat over her body as best she can. “Wake me in four hours,” Elyza calls over her shoulder.

Alicia sits with her back against the couch, gripping the shotgun. She stares into the fire as she replays the conversation she just had with Elyza, concerned she may have pushed her too far.  The woman had clearly gone through something heartbreaking, and Alicia just had to pester her, force her to relive an awful memory. Her mental guilt trip is paused with another round of gunshots in the distance.

She tenses and waits, listening for any sign that they might be in danger here, but as the minutes tick by, the gunshots become fewer and further between. Alicia relaxes back into the couch and flips her book open to her previous spot. The sounds of Elyza’s deep rhythmic breathing and the soft crackling of the fire provide the perfect soundtrack for a peaceful few hours of reading.


	4. More Than Meets the Eye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The songs:  
> The Last Day on Earth by Kate Miller-Heidke  
> Someday Soon by Natalie Bassingthwaighte

For a brief moment before opening her eyes, Alicia forgets that she is curled up on a couch in the middle of an apocalypse as the soft melody of a song envelopes her mind. She thinks it’s just in her head, a dream, but as she opens her eyes, she still hears it. It’s soft and sweet, and she smiles to herself as she sits up.

She catches the leather jacket before it falls to the floor and is suddenly overwhelmed with emotions. The combination of the music and the fact that Elyza covered her while sleeping, again, even after the tense conversation they had, has Alicia reeling.

“G’morning, love,” Elyza greets quietly. “Sleep well?”

“What’s that song?” Alicia cocks her head to the side, studying her companion.

Elyza blushes suddenly and dives for the small speakers and iPod she has set on the floor and clumsily presses the pause button, missing twice. “Sorry, love, forgot I had that on.”

“Why’d you turn it off?” Alicia blurts, quickly forming a pout on her face.

“I, uh, thought you didn’t like the song?” Elyza responds bashfully, clearly embarrassed by the song choice.

“No, it’s just… I haven’t listened to music since we left California. Will you turn it back on?”

“Sure, love,” she looks down and presses play. The soft piano fills the room as Alicia closes her eyes, enjoying the simple pleasure. She feels the dip of the couch and opens one eye to see Elyza staring at her.

“What?”

“You look beautiful.” Elyza smiles before adding, “At peace.”

“I miss this,” Alicia breathes. She leans her head back on the couch, letting the melody wash over her. “I wouldn’t ever picture you listening to something like this.”

“No?”

“Nope,” Alicia shakes her head. She smiles and opens her eyes, looking over at the woman sitting next to her.

“Let me guess,” Elyza deadpans. “You picture hard rock, maybe some alt blokes wailing too loudly into their mics?”

“Actually,” Alicia says with a grin. “I picture a tough chick like you being completely unashamed of her musical preferences, blasting some Top 40 dance number while you tinker with your Harley.”

Elyza’s responding smile shines as bright as sun illuminating her hair. “I aim to please, love.” She bounces off the couch and quickly scrolls through her music, pressing play on a new song. If the dance track isn’t reason enough, Alicia can’t deny the pull she feels as Elyza starts hopping around the room, shamelessly dancing. Soon both women are giggling as they show off their best and worst moves. For the first time in months, at least for a few moments, Alicia feels like the teenager she is.

As the song comes to an end, Alicia is out of breath, and she can feel her cheeks begin to ache from the smile she can’t seem to wipe off her face. As she grins, she locks eyes with Elyza who is boasting a smile of her own. The moment is perfect. Simple. All thoughts of killing, dead bodies walking, surviving, are pushed to the side, and Alicia lets out a hearty laugh. Her first in weeks.

“This is amazing. How do you even have that?” Alicia asks, pointing towards the iPod and speakers.

“Mine, obviously, from before. I wish I could up the volume from time to time, but you know… Keep it charged with this,” Elyza holds up a small emergency charging station. “Solar panel here, and a hand crank if that doesn’t work.”

“Lucky find,” Alicia says as she examines the charging station.

“Luck didn’t have anything to do with it,” Elyza scoffs. “I’ve had a bug out bag ready since I was thirteen, love.”

“A bug out bag?” Alicia questions, confused by the term.

“Just in case bag. My dad was a bit weird, but I figured it couldn’t hurt to have a few things on hand. Guess he was right, in the end,” Elyza trails off. Alicia sees the sadness in those blue eyes but doesn’t comment on it. She knows the feeling of losing a father.

Instead, Alicia smiles and shakes her head, “You really are something else.”

“Deadset,” Elyza nods.

“So,” Alicia starts, handing the charging station back to Elyza. “What’s the plan for the day?”

“I figure we can rest here for a day or two. I need to do a little maintenance on my bike, properly clean my weapons, inventory the packs,” Elyza counts on her fingers as she goes through her to-do list. She suddenly looks directly in Alicia’s eyes before continuing. “We can make a plan on how to get you back to your family.”

“Right,” Alicia nods, doing her best to ignore the sudden wave of disappointment at Elyza’s last words. She really needs to accept that Elyza is only going to be in her life for a little while. She needs to stop getting so attached to this woman, so she quickly changes the subject. “Do we need to go scavenge for bike parts or anything like that? For your maintenance?”

Elyza smirks. “I didn’t choose this shop just for its book selection.” She pulls out a map from her shoulder pack and unfolds it. She points to where they are. “There’s a little bike shop just around the corner here. Should hopefully have what I need. Care to take a stroll, love?”

\-- 

Alicia stands at the front door of the bike shop, knife in hand, peering out the window to the empty street. She has no clue what the parts Elyza described were, so she offered to just keep an eye out while her companion gathered what she needed.

Alicia tenses as she peers out the window again. They encountered no dead on their journey to the shop. No living either. In fact, they had not seen any body at all since they cleared out the two infected near their bookshop. The lack of resistance made Alicia uneasy. There is usually a reason for the utter void of people, and that reason usually isn’t a good one.

Eager to leave the vulnerable position, Alicia calls quietly over her shoulder without turning, “Almost done?”

“Yep,” Elyza states. Alicia jumps and just barely contains her yelp as she turns around to see a wide-eyed blonde directly behind her, a plastic bag full of bike parts in her hand. “Sorry, love. Didn’t mean to scare you.”

“Jesus. You’re like a ninja. How are you so quiet?” Alicia glares at her.

“Years of practice,” Elyza says with a shrug.

Alicia gives her a severe side-eye and breathes deeply, easing her body down from the adrenaline rush. “Ready to go?”

“After you,” Elyza gestures dramatically with her hands towards the door. “Wait,” Elyza stammers, grabbing Alicia’s wrist. “I…”

“What?” Alicia asks. Elyza stares at her, uncharacteristically quiet, her face a mask of apprehension. Alicia waits a few moments longer before huffing, “Out with it, Elyza.”

“Here, I found this for you.” The blonde hastily shoves a brown leather jacket in Alicia’s arms. Alicia looks down at it and back up at Elyza. “Should fit.” Elyza rubs the back of her neck nervously and rambles, “I just... If you’re going to be riding with me, might as well get you a little protection. I mean, if you want. You don’t have to wear it. Leather is a good option. For safety. Prevents some bloody nasty road rash if we were to fall. But you don’t have to wear it if you-”

“Thanks,” Alicia interrupts, saving Elyza from the ever-lengthening ramble she is stuck in. Alicia slips the jacket over her arms, giving it a little stretch. The leather groans at the movement, and she offers her companion a small smile in gratitude.

\-- 

Alicia sits on the floor across from Elyza, watching intently as the blonde disassembles each of her pistols and cleans them thoroughly. Alicia studies all her movements, committing each action to memory. Elyza seems in her element but is more than happy to answer any question Alicia has.

“And then you just pop that back in, and voilá!” Elyza exclaims as she pulls the slide back. “Better than before.”

Alicia picks up the other Glock from the floor, glancing at the one in her hand and the one Elyza still holds. “You have matching pistols?”

Elyza winks. “Bought these babies for myself before the world went to hell. Custom backstraps and everything,” she boasts proudly.

“Backstraps?” Alicia puzzles.

“This part here.” Elyza points to the back of the pistol grip. “It’s smaller, so it reduces the distance from my hand to the trigger. See?” Elyza picks the Glock up in her left hand and the Beretta up in her right. “I can reach the trigger easier with this one.”

“You gave me your custom gun?” Alicia suddenly blurts feeling embarrassed. She offers the Glock in her hand quickly over to Elyza. “You should have it back.”

“Don’t be daft,” Elyza waves her hand in the air, dismissing Alicia’s offer. “I gave it to you, love.”

Alicia shakes her head, eager to give Elyza the gun she customized for herself. “My hand is bigger than yours,” Alicia reasons. “I’ll take the Beretta.”

Their argument is instantly silenced as two heads suddenly whip towards the front of the shop. Alicia grabs the Beretta, forcing Elyza to take the offered Glock before standing. Alicia follows Elyza, already threes steps in front of her, to the front window of the shop. Hiding most of her body against the wall, Alicia peers out the storefront to see two men, both sporting familiar Proctor vests arguing across the street.

“Boss says they’re here,” the taller one states.

“We’ve looked. They’re not here,” the short balding man with a scar on his face, argues.

“Boss says otherwise,” the taller man’s voice bites back.

“This is a waste of time. They weren’t at that community we found last night. Boss said they were there too. Why are we wasting our time on two little girls?”

“You really want to question the boss? Boss wants the blonde dead, the brunette alive. It’s not our job to ask questions. It’s our job to get it done. John hasn’t lead us astray yet, no point thinking he might now.”

Alicia falters at the mention of her and Elyza. “Did you hear that?” Alicia asks over her shoulder. She turns when she doesn’t get an answer. “Elyza?” She asks into the shop, her eyes searching for her companion. “Elyza?”

Alicia finally spots the blonde standing near her bike, buckling her saddlebags closed. “What are you doing?”

“Planning our escape,” Elyza states plainly, not even bothering to look up. She thrusts the shoulder pack towards Alicia who reluctantly throws it over her shoulder.

“And what are you planning on doing exactly?” Alicia inquires as she watches Elyza toss her shotgun over her shoulder and place her two Glocks into their holsters.

“Well, love, I’m going to ride up to those blokes out there, tell them to rack off, and if they don’t listen, I’ll shoot them,” Elyza says, finally looking up at Alicia. The blue eyes are full of fire again, and Alicia fights the urge to back down.

“Elyza, that’s not an escape plan. That’s a suicide mission,” Alicia asserts. “Can’t we just sneak out the back, get far enough away using the alleys, and then hop on your bike?”

Alicia lets out a heavy sigh and throws her head back in exasperation as she hears the back door chain jiggle. Elyza gives her that look, and Alicia knows the blonde is about to make some sort of ‘I told you so’ remark, so Alicia mutters a quick, “Don’t even go there.”

Giving in to the blonde’s plan with another sigh, Alicia asks, “So what am I supposed to do during this daring escape plan?”

“Nothing,” Elyza snaps. “You’re going to hide behind those cars just out front, and stay as bloody quiet as possible.”

“Like hell I am!” Alicia bursts. She’s not going to do nothing and hide behind a car while Elyza takes the full brunt of this. She knows how to fire a gun. She has killed people. She’s done it plenty of times.

“Alicia,” Elyza begins to plead but is quickly cut off by the shattering glass from behind them. Whoever had been rattling the back door had clearly found another way in. “Time to go, love.”

Elyza and Alicia quickly make their way to the front and remove their barricade and chain silently. Alicia peeks out the window one final time. The two Proctors out front are a little farther down the road, but still close enough to be a problem. Alicia gives a little nod telling Elyza to go ahead and holds the door for her. Once Elyza pushes her bike to the center of the street, she gestures for Alicia to crouch behind a nearby car. Alicia obliges the blonde since she can’t really think of a better option at the moment and crouches down, effectively putting herself out of sight from the two men down the road and the intruders in the bookshop.

Alicia peers around the side of the car and watches Elyza draw both her custom pistols from her holsters and aim them down the road. “Heard you blokes were looking for me!” she hears Elyza’s voice echo on the deserted street. The two men turn in surprise moving their hands to their holstered weapons, but they just aren’t fast enough.

In a quick succession of pops, two from each pistol, the Proctors fall to the ground. Elyza doesn’t spare a moment before she takes off running towards the fallen men. Alicia watches Elyza’s figure get smaller the closer she gets to the enemy. She sees her pause, draw her knife and squat down.

Out of the corner of her eye, Alicia sees a third and fourth Proctor, no doubt the two who entered through the back of the bookshop, race into the street. Both have their weapons already up and pointed at Elyza by the time Alicia stands and aims her pistol. She lets two quick shots fly, both hitting the man closest to her. She dives back behind the car as gunfire peppers the metal, causing her ears to ring.

She leans back against the trunk of the car and hears the thunderous bang of a shotgun. Alicia spares a glance around the corner, amazed at how rapid the shotgun blasts sound. She has never heard anyone fire so quickly.

She sees one of the Proctors, the one she first shot at, dead on the ground, his head mangled and practically blown clean off while the other crouches behind a car. Alicia scans the road and finally finds Elyza crouched behind another car, holding her hip.

Alicia mentally begs Elyza to look at her and when the blonde does, Alicia motions towards the direction the remaining Proctor is hiding. Elyza nods and points at Alicia and then makes a little half-circle motion. She gestures towards herself and mimics firing a gun before giving a thumbs up.

Alicia has no freaking clue what the hell any of that meant but nods anyway, figuring she would just wing it. Elyza suddenly points both her pistols over the top of the car in the direction of the Proctor and starts firing blindly. Ah, got it. Alicia uses the distraction to sneak around the other side of the car and squeeze off an easy kill shot at the distracted man. When his body slumps lifelessly against the car, Alicia walks towards him, removes her balisong from her boot and sinks it into his skull.

She looks up and sees Elyza standing with her weight against a car, clutching her right shoulder now. Alicia quickly makes her way over to her companion.

“Nice shot there, love,” Elyza grunts, shifting her weight to her left leg.

“Are you okay?” Alicia asks tentatively.

“Don’t worry your beautiful little self, yeah,” Elyza tries to ease but is completely unsuccessful due to the obvious pain etched on her face.

“Let me see,” Alicia says, reaching to remove Elyza’s hand from her shoulder.

“I’m fine,” Elyza snaps, flinching away from Alicia’s touch. “We need to go. That firefight is bound to attract more.”

“Let me see your wounds, Elyza,” Alicia commands this time.

“I’m fine. See?” Elyza takes a step forward just before Alicia sees the blood drain from her face and her body crumple lifelessly to the ground.

“Elyza!” Alicia shouts rushing towards the blonde. She reaches her and gasps at the amount of blood she sees already staining the concrete beneath her. Alicia pulls the leather jacket back from Elyza’s right shoulder and sees a bullet wound oozing blood. Her eyes then catch another wound on her lower right abdomen. A gash, a couple inches long, most likely caused by a knife, bleeds profusely.

Alicia scrambles to the bike, flips open a saddlebag and grabs the first aid supplies, water, and duct tape she just watched Elyza inventory not 15 minutes prior. She sprints back to the unconscious woman and drops to her knees.

Alicia clumsily twists the cap off the water bottle and pours a hefty amount over the shoulder wound before wiping the area clean with a length of fabric. She grabs a tampon, frees it from the applicator and shoves it into the open wound before duct taping gauze firmly to Elyza’s shoulder. Alicia hastily cleans and dresses the knife wound on Elyza’s stomach, mentally reminding herself to do a better job when they get to safety.

Alicia rushes the supplies back to the motorcycle, packing them away safely before walking the bike back over to Elyza. She leans over her and presses her palm to Elyza’s cheek, cupping her face. Alicia runs her thumb along the contours of her jaw.

“Elyza. Elyza, I need you to wake up,” Alicia coaxes. “You need to wake up, Elyza. Please.” Alicia’s voice begins to take on a slight tone of panic as she shakes the blonde’s uninjured shoulder. “Wake up. Now, Elyza!”

“Alicia?”

Alicia sighs in relief as she sees the blue eyes flutter open. “Okay, I need you to help me out here. We need to go. Come on.” Alicia grabs Elyza under her arms and lifts with all her strength. The blonde somehow is able to stand, though she leans most of her weight on Alicia, as they take the few steps towards the Harley.

Alicia helps Elyza stumble over to the bike. “You can’t drive,” Elyza states, shaking her head as she leans against the back of the motorcycle.

“I can,” Alicia retorts as she throws her leg over the bike and sits a little farther back on the seat than customary.

“You didn’t tell me that.”

Alicia turns her head and gives a sheepish smile before explaining. “That’s because technically I’ve never driven a motorcycle, but I have driven a clutch quad. Can’t be that different, right?”

“One way to find out,” Elyza smirks. She inhales deeply as she begins to throw her leg over the seat. Alicia grabs Elyza’s wrist stopping her in her tracks and shakes her head.

“Not back there. Here,” she says, patting the space directly in front of her. “Legs over mine; face me.”

Elyza takes a few hesitant steps towards her, grunting in pain as she grips her abdomen. Alicia kicks the kickstand up, holding the bike balanced with her legs, and waits for Elyza to climb up. The blonde just stares at her, wide-eyed, and Alicia rallies the most reassuring smile she can. “Come on, Elyza. I can’t have you sitting behind me if you’re going to pass out. You’ll fall right off. Up here. Come on. I’ve got you.”

Elyza can’t muster a verbal response, but she grits her teeth and gives a small nod. Alicia reaches out and helps guide her onto her lap. Elyza settles her weight comfortably on the bike, her legs firmly over Alicia’s, and her arms securely around her middle. Alicia can feel her companion take short stuttered breaths as she buries her face in her chest.

“I need you to hang on, Elyza, please. Don’t die on me.” Alicia reaches around the blonde, grips the handlebars, flips the starter button, and takes a deep breath as the bike roars to life.

“First is all the way down, neutral is half a click up, second is above that. Easy off the clutch, easy on the throttle, love,” Elyza whispers into her chest, effortlessly reading Alicia’s nervous body language. “You can do this.”

“I got it,” Alicia states. She eases the bike into motion without killing it, thankful for last year’s family vacation touring the San Diego dunes.

She speeds down the street, weaving in and out of cars until they reach the interstate. Alicia presses on east, keeping an eye out for a safe place to stop. Every few minutes, Alicia places one of her hands on the small of Elyza’s back, and every time she is rewarded with a gentle squeeze around her middle, a simple reassurance that Elyza is still conscious and alive.

After an hour of driving, she finally spies the road sign she had been hoping for and exits the highway, following the signs to the tiny library. When she pulls up to the small building with the large metal snake on the front, she sighs in relief. They made it.

“Elyza, you still with me?” Alicia asks as she kills the motor. Instead of a verbal answer, Alicia feels the softest kiss on the underside of her jaw. She hums in response while carefully placing her hands on Elyza’s waist and easing her up and off her chest. “I’m glad you didn’t pass out on me,” she mutters mostly to herself.

Elyza manages a barely-there smirk, her face pale and slightly twisted in pain and exhaustion. Alicia helps guide her off the bike and kicks up the kickstand before swinging her own legs off the bike. She quickly stretches out her body as Elyza slumps to the ground, ungracefully leaning herself against the heavy motorbike. Though having Elyza nuzzled up against her for the better part of an hour wasn’t a hardship, her muscles still ache with the effort gripping the bike while holding up a person requires.

“Okay, I need to go check it out. Stay here,” Alicia commands to the woman now sitting up against the bike.

“Be careful, love,” Elyza says weakly. Alicia takes a few steps towards the library and then quickly races back, removing the shotgun from Elyza’s holster and handing it to the woman sat next to the bike. She offers a quiet smile to the blonde and utters a soft, “Be right back.”

Alicia makes her way back towards the building and pulls her balisong from her boot. She holds the small knife in her left hand and draws her pistol with her right. She approaches the front porch slowly, careful to not make a sound. She tries the door, but it’s locked.

With a huff, Alicia quickly makes her way around the building searching for a secondary entrance. Along the way, she peers in each window, looking for any sign of movement. The building is too dark to see anything from the outside, but Alicia checks every one nonetheless.

She finally makes her way to the back of the building and finds the back entrance locked tight. A simple glance at her surroundings reveals a large rock just to her right. Momentarily holstering her Beretta, Alicia grabs the heavy stone from the desert garden and tosses it through the window adjacent to the back door. She freezes at the sound, ready for the noise to attract the dead.

When nothing approaches, she carefully pulls her body through the broken glass, mindful to not cut herself. Once inside, she squints and lets her eyes adjust to the dim atmosphere. A quick once over deems the area clear of the dead.

Alicia makes her way out of the back room and into the main atrium of the library. She scans the open room, searching for any sign of danger. Remembering the tactic Elyza used earlier, Alicia takes the butt of her pistol and bangs it against a nearby shelf. The pang of metal on metal echoes loudly in the dark library.

After only a moment, Alicia hears the groans and shuffle of the dead. She readies herself for the fight, counting the dead as they approach. Seven. She’s dealt with worse. Alicia positions herself in an aisle, using the library’s layout to force a chokepoint for the approaching dead. One by one, they enter the stacks and one by one Alicia dispatches of the infected with a practiced stab of her knife. After each kill she slowly and deliberately retreats, keeping the distance between each impending walker manageable.

As the last of the dead crumples at her feet, Alicia’s heartbeat races with adrenaline. She doesn’t bother cleaning her weapon as she jogs to the front of the library. She slams open the front doors, careful to unlock the crossbar before running to the blonde hunched by the Harley.

“Okay, let’s get you inside,” Alicia states as she squats down next to the injured woman.

“Any trouble, love?” Elyza mutters, her eyes focusing in on the rotting blood spattered on Alicia’s leather jacket.

“No more than usual,” Alicia grunts as she lifts Elyza up. “Here, lean against the bike. I’ll walk you both inside.”

Elyza complies and within the minute, Alicia is locking the front door again. She sets the kickstand and walks over to Elyza, wrapping one arm around her waist and using the other to anchor Elyza’s arm to her. She half carries half leads the blonde to a nearby couch and gently lays her down.

“I’m going to do the barricades and clean up a little mess back there,” Alicia says motioning towards the little back room she came in. “I’ll be right back.”

Elyza nods. “Combo to the padlock is 23-4-14. There’s just the one now. We’ll have to find another later.”

“Don’t worry about that right now. I’ll secure the place,” Alicia reassures her. She gives Elyza’s hand a little squeeze and makes her way back to the motorcycle. She grabs the few supplies she needs and heads off towards the front door.

Alicia makes quick work of chaining the front door and barricading the few windows in the building, taking extra care to securely block off the window she had to break to get in. She makes her way back to the aisle she used to dispatch of the dead and heaves a heavy sigh. She knows she needs to get these corpses out of here. The longer they stay, the worse it’s going to smell. She squats down and grabs the first rotting corpse under its arms and strains as she drags the body out the back door.

Dripping with sweat and cursing her burning muscles, Alicia hefts the last of the fallen infected out the door. Down a chain and lock, Alicia uses her last remaining strength to pull a heavy bookshelf in front of the back door effectively barricading herself and Elyza inside the small town library.

Exhausted, she takes a moment to catch her breath and wipe the sweat from her brow. She shakes her head and leans her head against the cool stone wall thinking about how she’d love nothing more than to find a working restroom and wash off the blood, guts, and sweat currently plastered all over herself. She sighs and pushes herself off the wall, well aware that she has more pressing matters to attend to.

As she enters the main atrium of the library, Alicia is surprised to find the blonde lying on the couch in front of a roaring fire.

“I could have done that,” Alicia says, startling her companion. “You need rest.”

“I’m fine,” Elyza replies after taking a stuttered sigh.

“You were shot in the shoulder, and you have a knife wound on your stomach. You’re not fine,” Alicia affirms. She moves closer to the blonde after retrieving the first aid supplies from the saddlebag. “I should do a better job of bandaging you up. I rushed last time.”

“You did wonderfully, love,” Elyza whispers. Alicia twitches the corner of her mouth up, barely even a smile, before carefully helping Elyza shrug out of her jacket. She braces her back gently and lies her back down. Elyza winces at the movement and squeezes her eyes shut in pain. “You saved my life,” the blonde breathes.

Alicia begins to cut away the tape on her shoulder. “I told you, people need people.”

She stops her movements and spares a glance at Elyza’s face. Blue eyes burn into her own with an intensity she hasn’t seen from her companion before. It isn’t anger or doubt. It’s something else entirely. Alicia clears her throat before adding, “I’m sorry; this is going to hurt.”

Alicia pulls the tape off as gently as possible grimacing as she sees the pain erupt on Elyza’s face. “Sorry,” she mumbles under her breath. After pulling out the soaked cotton, Alicia notices that the wound has more or less stopped bleeding. As she leans in to get a closer look, the blonde suddenly halts her.

“Hold up there. Did you just pull a tampon from my shoulder?” Elyza demands.

“It was just sitting in your first aid kit, and honestly, it was the first thing I could think of to stop the bleeding quickly, and I mean, it worked, and you’re still alive and the wound looks like it’s stopped bleeding, but it’s still pretty swollen,” Alicia’s ramble is cut off by a gentle hand covering her own.

“That was bloody brilliant. Good on ya, love,” Elyza smiles.

Alicia returns the gesture before she gently lifts Elyza’s shoulder ignoring the hiss of pain that escapes her lips.

“There’s no exit wound,” Alicia sighs. “I’m going to have to remove the bullet.”

“You done that before, love?” Elyza asks, impressed.

“No,” Alicia grimaces.

“Right,” Elyza nods. She sets her jaw firmly in determination. “Okay, bloody hell. Why not? Just do it quickly, love.”

“Let me check your knife wound first,” Alicia suggests. Without waiting for an answer, she lifts the blood-soaked shirt up and pushes it far enough to expose Elyza’s entire lower abdomen.

“I gotta say, love,” Elyza smirks. “I fully expected the first time you took my shirt off to be under much different circumstances.”

Alicia rolls her eyes and quickly rips the old gauze off, silencing Elyza’s retort as she lets out a grunt of pain. Alicia gives the blonde a cheeky smirk before she takes a look at the wound. Thankfully it looks clean, and the cut itself is smooth and straight. Alicia knows it should heal just fine with time if she closes it properly.

She busies herself with tearing small strips of duct tape to size and rinses out the knife wound with some saline. After drying the area completely, she begins to place the strips over the cut, doing her best to pull the wound closed. With each piece of tape placed, Alicia feels Elyza tense and flutter in pain. She can see the blonde putting on a brave face and decides to distract her a bit.

“So how did you get this cut anyway?”

“Bloody asshole got me as I was leaning in to prevent the turn,” Elyza cringes. “Guess I missed the kill shot. I should have seen it coming.”

Alicia nods as she places another strip of tape over the wound. “And the bullet wound?”

“Snagged me when I was providing you cover fire,” Elyza hisses as Alicia places the last strip over the cut.

“There we are,” Alicia says taping a strip of gauze over the freshly closed knife wound. “All done with this one.”

“Thanks,” Elyza lets out with a heavy puff of air.

Alicia offers her a reassuring smile. “Ready to get the bullet out?”

“No,” Elyza snaps though her voice is dripping with sarcasm. Alicia nods and gathers the few other supplies she needs to retrieve the bullet. She settles herself back at Elyza’s side and lays out all the instruments for easy access.

“I’m going to need to take your shirt all the way off,” Alicia mutters sheepishly. She feels her cheeks burn as they flush red. Thankfully, Elyza doesn’t mutter a retort and strains to sit up and lift the shirt over her head. The blonde groans in pain, and Alicia instantly presses a soft hand to her uninjured shoulder, urging her to lie back down.

“Here, let me just…” Alicia trails off as she waves a pair of surgical scissors in the air. Elyza relaxes back into the couch and allows Alicia to slide the scissors through the soft fabric. With the cut complete, Alicia tosses the ruined garment to the side.

“I’m going to miss that shirt,” Elyza teases longingly.

“We’ll find you a new one,” Alicia assures her. “Okay, I’m going to start now.” Alicia pours a hefty amount of saline over the bullet wound, doing her best to clean it out before she attempts to remove the bullet.

“You have some pretty good bedside manners there, love. You’re a nurse, yeah?” Elyza asks.

“No,” Alicia shakes her head.

“No? But Papa Proctor?” Alicia tenses at the mention of Proctor John, and Elyza instantly picks up on it quickly changing the subject. “You a doctor then?”

“I just turned 18. I used to volunteer at a hospital. I paid attention,” Alicia answers. She picks up the tweezers and a small flashlight and hovers over the shoulder wound tentatively. Elyza gives her a little nod of permission before Alicia makes her move.

“I can just picture you in that short little red and white striped outfit. Oh, how I wish you were wearing that now,” Elyza groans as the tweezers dig in the small wound.

“I didn’t wear a candy striper uniform. No one does that. You really shouldn’t believe everything you saw on American television,” Alicia replies, doing her best to find the bullet quickly and keep Elyza distracted. She readjusts the angle of the flashlight beam and digs in again. “So what’s your story anyway? What’s an Aussie doing in Mexico?”

“Extended weekend trip with some friends,” Elyza grits out through stuttered breaths. Alicia notices her face begin to pale and halts her movements. Elyza takes a deep breath and gives a little nod, urging Alicia to continue.

Elyza gasps in pain, and just when Alicia is about to pull back completely, the blonde steels her face and continues her story, giving Alicia the go ahead to dig in again. “We drove down the coast on our bikes to San Diego. Bloody long ass trip, but it was beautiful. We were just about to head back when all the trouble started.”

Alicia pulls out a small piece of metal. She holds it up close to her face and sighs in slight defeat. It’s only a partial bullet. There are still more fragments inside Elyza’s shoulder. She knows she’s going to have to dig in again, so she continues with her questions. “Didn’t really answer my question though. What were you doing in the states?”

“University,” Elyza grunts as Alicia searches for the remaining fragments. She inhales as she feels her tweezers ping against metal. She struggles to pull out the tiny piece of the bullet.

“Tell me about it,” Alicia coaxes as she mentally high fives herself when she sees the fragment firmly pinched in the tweezers. It looks to be the remaining piece of the bullet.

“Double major in English and Scandinavian, just finishing up my second year at UC Berkeley.”

Alicia freezes at the mention of Elyza’s university. All her wants and dreams of what her life should have been come flooding into her thoughts. She is only pulled from her head when Elyza utters a concerned, “What?”

“I just got accepted there,” Alicia admits.

Elyza smiles that winning grin of hers; its brilliance not even dampered by the sweat sticking to her face nor the lack of color in her cheeks. “We were destined to meet, love.”

“Yeah, the universe knew you’d need me to pull a bullet out of you and save your stupid ass,” Alicia retorts, finally snapping out of her stupor. She soaks the bullet wound in saline once again before taping a clean gauze compress over it. As Alicia busies herself with cleaning up the blood and used supplies, she asks, “So English and Scandinavian? I can honestly say I’ve never heard of that major before.”

“Mmhmm, mother’s Swedish, already knew most of the language. Seemed like a perfect fit. And I think you already figured out my love of literature,” Elyza smirks.

“You speak Swedish?” Alicia gapes.

“Du är så vacker och det gör ont att bara tänka på att lämna din sida,” Elyza breathes.

“You really are full of surprises,” Alicia shakes her head, desperately wondering what the hell this woman just said to her in what she assumes is perfect Swedish. She is dying to ask Elyza to translate, but instead, she just smiles down at her.

“I aim to please, love,” Elyza grimaces, her face void of color and her skin clammy. She takes in a stuttered breath, clearly exhausted and in pain from the rudimentary surgery she just endured.

“Right, well how about you aim to not get shot again,” Alicia quips. With incredible seriousness, she adds, “You were lucky, Elyza. I don’t think you broke any bones. This could have been really bad.”

Alicia leans over to the side and retrieves a small bottle of ibuprofen from the first aid kit. She removes a few pills and offers them to Elyza with a bottle of water. “Here, take these.”

After swallowing the painkillers, Elyza groans with heavy eyes, “I’m so tired.”

“Sleep,” Alicia demands. She watches the blonde adjust on the couch and drift silently into an uneasy sleep. Alicia removes her own leather jacket and drapes it over the sleeping blonde. “I’ll keep you safe,” she mutters to her companion.


	5. James

Alicia curses herself as she yanks her body up from the ground. She should not have fallen asleep. She scans the room searching for the sound that woke her from her slumber. She turns, her eyes landing on Elyza’s shivering body. The blonde is wrapped tightly in her jacket, and even in the dim light of the library, Alicia can see the glossy sheen covering her companion’s face. She presses the back of her hand gently to her cheek and tsks. She touches her forehead.

Elyza is burning up. One of her wounds, maybe both, must have gotten infected as they slept. Alicia panics internally a moment before calming her mind. She rises and makes her way to the library break room. Alicia picks through every locker, every cabinet, and every discarded bag meticulously. She lets out an audible cry of misery as she sinks to her knees in defeat. Elyza needs antibiotics. She knows there are no antibiotics in the first aid kit. She’s become more than familiar with its contents these past few hours. She now knows there are no antibiotics in the library. Alicia has only one choice.

Alicia walks solemnly back to the main room of the library. She pauses for a moment, staring at the blonde as she sleeps. Alicia’s eyes focus on the contours of her face, the way her nose scrunches randomly while dreaming, the rise and fall of her chest as she breathes deeply, the quick shudders as her body tries to regulate her temperature. She wonders if Elyza would do what she’s about to if their roles were reversed. Would she risk leaving the relative safety of the library just to find her some medication? Would she try to save the life of a person she just met?

Alicia shakes her doubts from her mind. Of course Elyza would do it. She already has. The sudden realization gives Alicia the last needed little push, and she closes the remaining distance to the couch. She gently caresses Elyza’s cheek, willing her to wake. “Elyza?”

Elyza nuzzles into Alicia’s hand as she stirs. “That’s nice,” she mumbles, and Alicia can’t help the soft smile that invades her face. “I’m bloody freezing,” Elyza grumbles as she opens her eyes.

“You have a fever,” Alicia replies. She presses the back of her hand to Elyza’s forehead and tries to hide the concern she feels as her hand heats instantly. “A pretty high one at that. You need antibiotics.”

Elyza nods weakly, “There might be some-”

“I checked already,” Alicia interrupts shaking her head wearily. “We don’t have any, and there aren’t any here.” She subconsciously looks to the front door of the library, and realization suddenly dawns on Elyza’s face.

“Don’t,” Elyza starts, shaking her head.

“I’m going to go find a pharmacy,” Alicia confirms. She stands, ready to grab her supplies and head out. The faster she finds what she needs, the faster she can get back here to Elyza. Alicia may not be a real nurse, but she’s knowledgeable enough to realize that an infection from an open wound in this new world needs to be contained as quickly as possible. Alicia’s movement is suddenly pulled to a stop by a warm clammy hand wrapping around her wrist.

“Don’t, love,” Elyza pleads, a look of pure fear and concern bursts from her fiery blue eyes. Alicia blinks and the look is gone. It’s replaced by that smirk, though a somewhat subdued version of it. “I’ll be fine. It’s just a little fever.”

“I’d agree with you any other day, but with your wounds…” Alicia shakes her head. “Your body is already fighting so hard. You need the help. Antibiotics will help.”

“I don’t want you going out there alone,” Elyza states firmly.

Alicia removes her wrist from Elyza’s grasp and takes a step back. “I’m not asking for your permission, Elyza.” She turns her back to the blonde and walks towards the motorcycle sitting in the middle of the library, grabbing a few items before walking back over to the couch. “I’ve made up my mind. I just wanted to let you know so you didn’t freak if you woke up to find me missing.”

“Alicia-” Elyza tries once more but is quickly cut off.

“Shotgun is propped here,” Alicia leans the gun up against the arm of the couch, making sure it is easily within reach if she needs it. She then places a full water bottle and a granola bar on the floor next to it. “There’s water and some food. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

“Alicia-” Elyza’s plea is cut off by a choked cough. Alicia leans down and wraps her long fingers around the blonde’s hand. She gives it a gentle squeeze.

“Don’t you dare die before I get back,” she commands. With a final deep breath, Alicia stands and makes her way back to the motorcycle and grabs her shoulder pack.

She empties the pack of everything save a bottle of water before tossing it over her shoulder. Alicia unlocks the front door, sparing just a moment to glance back at the blonde currently staring daggers at her. She gives an awkward wave goodbye before exiting the building and chaining the door from the outside.

Standing on the steps of the library, Alicia looks up at the bright sky. The sun is still high, and she guesses she has around five hours before the sun sets. Should be plenty of time to find the pharmacy, grab some antibiotics, and make her way back to the library. Alicia hops off the steps in the direction they came, vaguely recalling passing a pharmacy on their way here. She mentally prays that her memory isn’t playing tricks on her.

Alicia treks quietly through the small town streets, dispatching a random infected every now and then. Just as Alicia is about to turn onto the main road, she spots a tiny little thrift shop, and her eyes immediately fall on the mannequin in the storefront window. She contemplates for only a moment before trying the front door. It swings open without any resistance, and Alicia quickly hops into the display.

She unbuckles the mannequin’s belt and slides the black leather sheath off easily. Once in her hands, Alicia removes the weapon, marveling at how powerful it feels. The slight curve of the blade is perfectly balanced by the curve of the wooden handle, and Alicia gives it a quick little twirl in her hand. Elyza was right again. She really needed a bigger blade. Alicia quickly replaces the machete in its sheath and buckles it into place on her left hip. Wasting not another minute, Alicia races out of the thrift shop but not without grabbing the vintage looking shirt hanging on a nearby rack. Alicia stuffs the shirt in her pack as she makes her way down the main street.

She sighs in relief as she spots the sign for a pharmacy just in the distance. It can’t be more than half a mile away. Alicia would be there in less than ten minutes. Eager to get back to Elyza as soon as possible, Alicia breaks into a jog cutting her travel time in half. As she approaches the front door, Alicia slows her pace and draws her machete.

The pharmacy doors are propped open with cinder blocks, and Alicia can see from where she is that the store had been previously looted. Hopeful that not everything had been taken, Alicia slowly enters the store. She makes it not even five feet inside before she is startled to a stop. Hushed voices echo in her alert ears.

“Shhh! Did you hear that?” a woman’s frantic voice whispers into the air.

“Hear what?” a man replies.

Alicia looks around her, trying to spot the couple, but they must be further in the store, hidden behind shelves.

“I thought I heard something. Are you sure there aren’t any dead in here?” the woman whispers.

“I looked around. You looked around. We didn’t see anything,” the man reassures.

“Doesn’t mean they’re not in here.”

“Would you relax, please? Just keep looking. There has to be some left.”

Alicia stands frozen, unsure if she should make herself known or not. Her gut instinct is to trust these people. They seem to be here for the same reason she is: to find medicine for someone. She wants to still believe in humanity, the general notion that people are still inherently good. Maybe they could help each other find what they need. She shakes her head at herself, feeling foolish. She can’t trust these strangers. In this new world, people can’t have the benefit of the doubt any longer. She’s seen what humanity can do. She’s witnessed it more times than she’d like to remember.

Alicia’s internal debate is suddenly ended as she sees movement above her. She looks up at a security mirror just in time to see a couple of corpses approach the woman in the aisle ahead. Without a second thought, Alicia sneaks up behind the first infected and swings her machete towards its head. The long blade easily sinks into its skull, ending its afterlife. Alicia effortlessly rips the blade from its head and turns to see the remaining infected stumble towards the woman now lying on the floor. Poor fool must have tripped. Alicia leaps over the fallen corpse and lands another killing blow to the infected’s head, just as it was reaching its rotting hands towards the woman.

Its body hits the floor with a heavy thump, and Alicia stands above it staring at the other survivor. The woman stares back at her, wide-eyed, clearly surprised by the events of the last twenty seconds. Alicia breaks the silence.

“Hey,” she says simply, offering her left hand to the woman.

“Hey,” the woman echoes before taking her hand and pulling herself up. She offers a sheepish smile to Alicia before muttering a weak, “Thanks.”

Alicia is about to respond when a man comes sprinting around the aisle. “Babe? Oh my god! Selma, honey, are you okay?” He reaches for the woman and grabs for her, running his hands up and down her body, searching for any sign of injury. When he finds none, he finally looks up at Alicia and offers a genuine, “Thank you.”

“Yeah, sure, you’re welcome,” Alicia dismisses. She looks from the woman to the man and back again trying to figure out if these people will give her any problems. She decides the best line of approach is to just be direct with it. She takes a deep breath, resheathes her machete, and states firmly, “I don’t want any trouble here.”

“No, no, neither do we,” the man says quickly. He straightens his back and grabs the woman’s hand, taking a slight protective step in front of her. “We’re just looking for something for our son, Connor. He’s six,” he rambles quickly.

Alicia nods in response internally wondering if that little story is true or not. It would be the perfect cover, playing on people’s general sympathy for small children. Even ruthless people in the apocalypse still have a soft spot for cute kids. She decides to keep her skepticism to herself for the time being.

“Right, well, I’m looking for something too. So I’ll just…” she trails off as she begins to walk past the couple towards the back pharmacy. If there are any antibiotics left in this place, that’s where it would be. She pauses in her tracks as she hears the woman turn and practically shout at her.

“What are you looking for? Maybe we could help each other?”

Alicia slowly turns, unsure if she should let these strangers know what she’s looking for. “I…” she begins uneasily.

“Please, our son, he has asthma,” the woman begs. “We’re looking for a refill. Anything that says salbutamol or albuterol on it will work. Sometimes it’s marketed as Ventolin. Please?”

“Okay, I’ll grab any if I see it,” Alicia concedes. There isn’t any harm in grabbing those meds if she finds any. She certainly doesn’t have a use for them, and there could be a kid out there who needs it. Maybe. If these strangers are telling the truth.

“And you?” the woman asks politely.

“Any type of penicillin,” Alicia answers without thinking.

“Penicillin? That’s an antibiotic, right?” the woman asks. She cocks her head to the side, suddenly studying Alicia closely. “You don’t look sick.”

“It’s not for me,” Alicia deflects. She turns and starts to make her way to the back again. “My friend, she-”

“Where is your friend?” the woman interrupts.

“Safe,” Alicia answers succinctly. She turns from the woman, cursing herself for her stupidity. She should not be offering this information to these strangers. They know too much. They know she’s here to find antibiotics for Elyza. They know Elyza must be vulnerable, and the woman is beginning to really rub Alicia the wrong way. She is far too interested in her, and the way she is staring causes shivers to run up Alicia’s spine.

Alicia busies herself checking discarded prescription bottles on the floor in front of the back pharmacy, searching quickly for anything that could help Elyza. Eager to find what she needs and get out of here, Alicia nearly misses the hushed whispers coming from her left. Alicia strains her ears, trying to pick up on what the couple is saying.

“James, do you think that’s… She could be…” the woman whispers. Alicia’s muscles tense.

“Selma, no,” the man pleads. Alicia stands.

“They said we’d…” the woman’s response is cut off sharply by the man.

“No, we can’t. We don’t even know if it’s her,” he states firmly.

“What’s your name, sweetheart?” the woman calls out loudly, her voice deceptively sweet.

Alicia doesn’t bother with an answer. She’s heard enough to realize that no good can come from this situation. She’ll just have to find another solution for Elyza. She’s no good to her dead or captured. Alicia turns on her heel and sprints towards the exit.

She is just a few feet from the door when she feels a body slam into her, knocking her to the ground. Alicia tries to roll to the side, away from the woman, but a pair of strong arms wrap around her own, pinning her hands behind her back and her face to the floor.

“Thanks, James,” the woman groans as she stands up. Alicia struggles as best she can, but the man easily outweighs her and effortlessly keeps her in place.

“Just don’t,” she hears the man spit at his wife. Alicia feels him lean down, and flinches away from the hot breath on her neck. She hears him whisper a pitiful, “I’m sorry.”

“Like hell you are,” Alicia growls, never stopping her struggle. “Let me go!”

“We can’t,” the woman states.

Alicia grimaces as tough thin plastic wraps tightly around her wrists. She hears the rapid click click click as the zip ties are pulled snug against her flesh. Alicia struggles as best she can, but the man maintains his iron grip on her.

Alicia suddenly finds herself being pulled up and haphazardly thrown over the man’s shoulder as he carries her to the back of the pharmacy. She bites and screams and kicks her legs against his body. She yelps as he suddenly drops her to the floor. The woman is on her in seconds and forcefully ties a gag around her head.

The man reaches down and grabs her again, mindful to secure her legs in his grasp this time. He carefully drops her to the floor near the back counter. The woman walks behind her, and Alicia glares at the man as she hears another zip tie fastened to her bindings and then to the heavy desk behind her.

She struggles futility against the bindings as the woman unclips her Beretta from her holster, places it out of reach on the counter behind her, and removes her newly acquired machete. Alicia can do nothing but stare at her captors. She furrows her brow as they turn their backs to her to speak.

“Look at her, James. She’s the right age, pretty, about 5’5’’, long brown hair, traveling with a blonde girl. You remember what they told us?”

Alicia continues to struggle against her restraints as the couple speaks, the harsh plastic digging into her soft flesh. She can feel the blood dripping down her hands as she jerks the bindings, cutting her wrists just a little more with each pull.

“I remember,” the man grumbles.

Making no progress in wriggling out of her bindings, Alicia throws her head back against the desk in defeat and silent tears of frustration fall down her cheeks. As another stream of blood oozes from a fresh cut in her wrist, she suddenly inhales. The bracelet.

“Connor wouldn’t have to go without his meds. We wouldn’t have to worry.”

Keeping as calm as she can, Alicia wiggles her left wrist towards her right hand and lets out a stuttered exhale as her fingers trail over the metal clasp. She finds the hidden catch and struggles to press it. The small knife springs free, and Alicia wraps her fingers around it. She awkwardly turns the tiny curved blade in her fingers and blindly tries to find the plastic zip tie. Alicia hisses as the blade slices the back of her hand, but she doesn’t let the temporary pain stop her.

“They also said she needed to be delivered with the other. She’s useless alone.”

Her heart speeds up as she finds the bindings with her blade and begins to work the small knife up and down. With a quiet little snap, Alicia’s left wrist pops free. Keeping her hands behind her, she easily cuts her right arm free. Thankful that her captors are foolish enough to keep their backs to her, Alicia reaches silently into her boot and opens her balisong.

“So we find the blonde. She can’t be far if this one is looking for antibiotics for her. This is it, James.”

Alicia throws her hands behind her back just as the couple turns back towards her. The woman approaches her and leans down. She drops her voice dangerously. “You’re going to tell us where your friend is hiding, Alicia.”

Alicia breathes angrily through her nose at the use of her name. The woman lets a small quirk of a smile escape as she realizes that Alicia is who she thinks she is.

“Yes, I knew it was you. We know who your friend is too. Elyza, right?”

Alicia glares at her. She can feel her blood begin to boil. Her survival instinct and her drive to protect her own rears its head. She struggles to wait for the right moment.

“Here’s the deal, Alicia. You tell us where your friend is hiding; we’ll make sure you get to Proctor John unharmed, okay? You don’t cooperate, and we’ll make sure you get to Proctor John bleeding and broken. Do you understand?”

Alicia stills. Proctor John is behind this. He has spread their description around, offering rewards for their capture. The news makes her stomach sink.

“Do you understand?” The woman suddenly repeats harshly. Alicia snaps out of her thoughts and offers a single nod.

“Good,” The woman leans down and pulls the gag out of Alicia’s mouth. “So where is your friend?”

“Screw you!” Alicia shouts. She quickly grabs a fistful of the woman’s shirt and places her blade to the underside of her throat. The tip presses easily into the soft fleshy skin, and Alicia is suddenly struck by how fragile the human body really is. All it would take is the slightest pressure, and she could open this woman’s throat in an instant.

Shaking the disturbing thought from her head momentarily, Alicia stands, bringing the woman with her. She flips her around, keeping the blade to her throat and gives it a little press, just barely drawing blood. She sets her eyes on the man standing in front of her. He raises his hands in surrender.

“Okay, okay, Alicia. Calm down. You don’t need to kill her,” he tries to reason.

“Why not?” Alicia bites back. She sets her jaw and continues coldly, “You were going to deliver me to my death.”

“He doesn't want you dead,” the man explains, his hands in the air. He takes a tentative step forward. “Just the blonde. He just wants the blonde dead. Come on now, I can tell you’re a good girl. You don’t want to do this.”

Alicia twists the knife slightly in her hand causing the woman to flinch in pain. She can feel the woman’s blood drip onto her hand. The movement got the reaction she wanted. The man stops in his tracks as Alicia deadpans, “You don’t know me.”

“That’s fair,” the man acquiesces. He nods and takes a deep breath before continuing. “Look, Selma isn’t a bad person. We’re just trying to make the best life we can for our son. Connor, remember? We’ll leave. You don’t have to do this. We’ll just walk away like it never happened.”

Alicia closes her eyes for a moment. She snaps them open, a newfound fury boiling in her blood. She hears the woman whimper as the blade continues to press harshly on her throat. “Shut up. Just shut up!”

“Alicia,” the man tries again.

“I can’t let you leave…” Alicia all but mumbles to herself. Realization floods her mind. She doesn’t know these people. They threatened her. They tied her up. They were ready to sell her and Elyza to the Proctors for their own personal gain. It doesn’t matter what this man is currently saying. His actions tell a different story. He restrained her, even if he didn’t want to. He did it.

Alicia shakes her head and more firmly states, “You’ll tell them where you saw me. You’ll tell them Elyza’s hurt.”

“No, no, we won’t,” the man frantically confirms. “Will we Selma? We’ll just walk on out of here.”

Alicia knows in her heart that she shouldn’t trust his words. Words are just whispers on the wind. Meaningless, gone the second they leave someone’s mouth. Actions speak volumes.

“I can’t trust you,” Alicia argues.

“You can,” the man tries again. His eyes widen as he clearly sees what is about to happen. “Alicia, no.” He lunges towards her, but he’s not fast enough. “No!”

Alicia slides the balisong along the exposed throat in front of her. Before the body even hits the floor, Alicia grabs her Beretta from the counter behind her and squeezes off a single shot into the man. He slumps to his knees, touching the blood as it drips from the bullet wound in his chest.

Alicia drops her pistol to the ground and sobs as the body of the man crumples before her. They aren’t the first living she has killed, and they won’t be the last, but this is the first time she has killed without a direct threat to someone she loves. Sure, they could have turned her over to the Proctors. They could have found Elyza, but she doesn’t know that for certain. She killed out of precaution. It was as truly as easy as the first time, and the thought makes her feel sick.

Alicia can’t bring herself to look at the face of the woman as she sinks her blade into her head, preventing the change. It’s the least she can do for the woman she just murdered. She makes her way over to the man, prepared to do the same for him when something catches her eye. A photograph lies wrinkled on the floor next to the dead body’s hand. Alicia glimpses a young boy, no more than six, with curly blonde hair. Tears fall down her cheeks as she runs her balisong through the dead father’s skull.

They had told the truth. They were looking out for their son. A cute little boy that Alicia just made an orphan.

Alicia shakes her head as the tears continue to fall. She takes a deep breath before wiping them away with the back of her hand. She mindlessly cleans her knife and tucks it safely back in her boot. She walks back over to the dead woman and picks up her fallen Beretta from the ground. She clips it back into place and sheaths her machete. Alicia then grabs the bracelet and fastens it back onto her wrist.

She numbly hops over the counter and rummages through the picked over medication. With a few choice curse words, Alicia angrily tosses bottle after bottle behind her, searching for the one she so desperately needs to see. After what seems like hours, Alicia grasps the small orange bottle. She lets out a sob as she reads the single most glorious word printed on the side of the bottle: amoxicillin.

Alicia safely tucks the bottle in her shoulder pack and makes her way out of the pharmacy, grabbing what little first aid supplies and food is left. Just as she is about to exit the small shop, Alicia throws her head back and sighs at the ceiling. She makes her way back into the pharmacy and easily finds the beauty section.

With her last minute supplies safely tucked into her shoulder bag, Alicia leaves the little shop of broken dreams and makes her way back towards the library.

As she walks back down the main street, retracing her steps, Alicia stills her mind. She had no other choice. She knows she had no other choice. She had to kill those people. If she had let them live, the Proctors would know where they are, and Elyza certainly isn’t in any condition to travel. They’d be sitting ducks. She knows they would be.

The further she gets from the pharmacy, the easier it is for her to rationalize her choice. She did what she needed to do to protect herself. It was as simple as that.

Alicia stops dead in her tracks as she looks up. The shadow of the building in front of her startles her. She already made it back to the library. Without a second thought, Alicia sprints up the stairs and unchains the door. She hastily closes it, relocking it from the inside.

Alicia squints in the semi-darkness of the barricaded library and lets her eyes adjust for a moment. She looks over to the corner and sees the blonde still curled up in a ball on the couch. Even from this distance, Alicia can see the shivers wreck Elyza’s body as she battles the infection. She fights back the tears at seeing the woman whom she has grown to see as strong and nearly invincible look so small and fragile.

She cautiously makes her way over to Elyza and kneels at her sleeping companion’s side. Alicia rests her hand on Elyza’s forehead and lets out a stuttered breath at the heat radiates into her palm.

“Elyza, wake up. Elyza,” Alicia says as she gently caresses her face. The blonde remains unmoving beneath her. “Elyza,” Alicia says louder. “Wake up, please.”

“Hmm, you’re back,” Elyza mumbles, her voice raspy and weak. She flutters her eyes open and locks her gaze with Alicia’s concerned one. “I missed you, love. The world is a much darker place when you aren’t by my side.”

Alicia lets out a choked laugh, “Well, you really need to take these now. The fever has clearly caused you to babble delusional confessions.”

Alicia holds a single pill in her hand and offers it to Elyza along with an opened bottle of water. The blonde gratefully swallows the medicine and weakly shakes her head. “Not delusional, love. You make this bloody world worth living in.”

“Right, I’ll be sure to remind you that you said that when you’re better,” Alicia teases.

“I won’t need a reminder,” Elyza hums. “It’s true. I knew it the minute I saw you.” She gazes up at Alicia with a sad look in her eyes and mutters, “That’s why I needed to leave you, back at the dam.”

“Aren’t you the charmer,” Alicia says with sarcasm dripping from her voice.

“I think you know it’s true,” Elyza states.

“I think you need to rest,” Alicia reiterates. She knows Elyza is telling the truth. Alicia’s observant enough to recognize when someone genuinely cares for her. She knows Elyza does, and she knows, by Elyza’s own admission, that the blonde runs from attachments. It’s how she thinks she needs to survive.

Alicia spares a glance down at her new companion and watches her eyes grow heavy. Alicia can see the physical battle as Elyza tries with all her might to stay awake. With what looks like a herculean effort, Elyza throws her eyes fully open. “You’ll stay with me?”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Alicia smiles down at her. “Sleep.”

“Okay,” Elyza mumbles as she finally lets her eyes close fully.

Alicia watches the blonde settle into the couch and drift off to sleep. Maybe Elyza is changing her mind. She seems to be pretty honest in this fever-induced delirium. She cares for Alicia. She doesn’t want her to leave. Maybe Alicia is not crazy in hoping that this woman remains a part of her life. Maybe, just maybe.

Alicia leans her back against couch wanting to just forget the past few hours. Forget the firefight, forget Elyza’s injuries, forget murdering the parents of a small child. She reaches over to the small pile of books she gathered earlier and pulls out her copy of  “Practical Magic.”

After a few chapters, Alicia hears the rhythmic breathing of a deep sleep coming from behind her. She turns to see Elyza’s face, peaceful and beautiful, in slumber. Alicia leans forward and presses a soft kiss to a flush cheek, smiling to herself as she feels the fever finally breaking.


	6. Nickel Romeo

“What are you doing up?” Alicia snaps at Elyza. “You should be resting.”

Alicia gives her best side-eye to the blonde woman currently standing frozen, mid-throw in the middle of the library. She looks over to the far wall and sees two of Elyza’s knives stuck in a makeshift target tacked to a bulletin board.

“I was, love,” Elyza soothes with her hand raised. Alicia rolls her eyes and not so subtly gestures to the third knife grasped in Elyza’s hand. “Okay, well I have been resting. Five bloody days of resting. I’m fine. No fever anymore, and these wounds don’t even hurt much.”

“They don’t? Really?” Alicia asks with her eyebrows raised. She casually strolls across the library and comes to a stop, a little closer than usual, in front of Elyza who plasters that smirk across her face. Alicia leans in ever closer and hears Elyza’s breath hitch in her throat before placing a firm yet gentle smack on the blonde’s right shoulder.

“Ow! Bloody hell, love!” Elyza yelps. She stumbles backwards gripping at her injured shoulder.

“That’s what I thought.”

“Point made. You didn’t have to go and do that,” Elyza whines, still holding her shoulder.

“Apparently I did to get it through your thick skull that you need to heal,” Alicia argues. She barely holds in the grin she feels bubbling up at the sight of Elyza’s hurt puppy routine. Before her face betrays her, she quickly continues with a harsh, “Properly.”

Elyza narrows her eyes at her and takes a step forward. “Are you going take your own advice any time soon there, love? Your wrists broke open again.”  She points at Alicia’s arms. Alicia looks down to see her left wrist dripping little drops of blood down her hand. Her shoulders slump in annoyance. The cuts she received from being tied up are becoming more irritating by the day. The stupid things just won’t heal up. It has nothing to do with the fact that Alicia has been pushing herself to the limits these past few days, finding food, water, and supplies in the rundown little town. Nothing to do with that whatsoever.

“Minor scuffle with the dead,” Alicia shrugs and nonchalantly covers her wound with her right hand. “I’m fine.”

“Alicia-”

“I’m fine, Elyza,” Alicia snaps.

“You’re not. You keep saying you are, but I can tell it still bothers you,” Elyza says reading Alicia’s mind. She takes another step toward her and reaches out as if she’s about to wrap her in an embrace. The blonde stops, seemingly catching herself and drops her arms. “You did what had to be done. I would have done the same, love.”

“So you keep saying,” Alicia comments with a heavy sigh.

“They recognized you. That left you with only one option if you wanted to make it out of there. You chose correctly,” Elyza states firmly.

“Speaking of,” Alicia deflects, eagerly changing the subject. “I grabbed some stuff that day in the pharmacy. To help maybe…” Alicia rummages through the piles of supplies she has gathered over the week and finally grabs what she’s looking for. She holds a box of hair dye triumphantly in the air.

“Not sure that’s my color, love,” Elyza says with little more than a casual glance at the box. “And you? What color are we turning your chestnut hair? Same god awful blood red? Sapphire blue? Dusty rose pink, perhaps?” Elyza quips. Alicia just holds up a pair of shears with a grimace. “No color for you?”

“I was never able to dye it with these cheap kits from the store. Color never stuck,” Alicia shrugs.

“You’re really going to cut it, love?”

“I don’t really have another choice.”

“You know this won’t help hide us from the Proctors,” Elyza states quietly. She rests her hand on Alicia’s shoulder, and the warm touch of her skin sends waves of serenity through Alicia’s body.

“No, I know. But it should help keep us anonymous from people who just have our description. Take away your blonde hair and my long brown hair, and it’ll be enough for people to question whether we are who they think we are,” Alicia explains. She sits down in a chair and holds the shears behind her, willing Elyza to take the hint.

“You’re sure?” Elyza questions, tentatively taking the scissors from Alicia’s hand.

With a firm nod and a steady voice, Alicia resigns, “Just do it, Elyza.”

“How short, love?” Elyza asks as she smoothes Alicia’s hair down her back.

“I don’t know. Shoulders, maybe?” Alicia can hear Elyza hum in response. She squeezes her eyes shut as she sits tensely, waiting to hear that harsh snip as blades slice through hair, but instead Alicia feels Elyza tie her hair in a ponytail followed by gentle pulls. “What are you doing?” Alicia blurts.

“Braiding your hair.”

“Why?”

“Easier to cut this way,” Elyza states plainly. Alicia takes a sharp inhale as she finally feels the weight of her hair fall away. She swallows thickly and only opens her eyes when she hears that familiar voice. “And you get a souvenir.”

“Thanks,” Alicia breathes as she takes the offered lock of hair tied off neatly in a braid. She holds the length of hair in her hands surprised by the soothing comfort she takes from it as Elyza snips away at her remaining hair.

“Okay, all done,” Elyza beams after only a minute.

“That’s it?” Alicia gasps turning around quickly in her chair.

“Well what did you expect, love? I’m not a bloody professional. But, damn, maybe I should be. Alicia, if it’s possible, you look more beautiful than before,” Elyza exclaims with a look of admiration twinkling in her eyes.

“Shut up,” Alicia retorts as she runs her fingers through her hair. She lets out an audible exclaim as her fingers slide through her much shorter hair very quickly, unused to the length.  

“I’m serious, love. You’re stunning. Wanna see?” Elyza says as she walks to stand in front of her. She squats down and gently tucks a few strands of hair behind Alicia’s left ear.

“No, not yet. Let’s do you first. We’ll look together after we’re both done,” Alicia decides. She stands and motions for Elyza to take her place before opening the box of hair dye. “Ready for your turn?”

“You sure you know what you’re doing? What’s this petroleum jelly for? Why do you need gloves? Is this safe?”

“Would you relax? It’s just hair dye. I’ve done this for lots of my friends before,” Alicia soothes as she mixes the color. Parting Elyza’s hair, Alicia begins to apply the dye. “So you’re telling me you’ve never dyed your hair?”

“Never needed to. Blondes have more fun, after all,” Elyza tries to smirk confidently as Alicia continues to apply the color to her roots, but her facade cracks with the clear note of panic in her voice. “You’re sure my hair isn’t going to fall out? I know we’re in an apocalypse here, but I’m not sure I can rock the whole Evey thing.”

“Evey thing?” Alicia queries, smoothing the color throughout the rest of Elyza’s hair.

“Evey Hammond. V for Vendetta? Natalie Portman with a shaved head?”

“Oh, right, yeah, I remember that movie,” Alicia mumbles to herself. She runs her fingers once more through Elyza’s hair, making sure each strand is fully coated from root to tip. She stands back and removes her gloves. “Okay, we just have to wait 20 minutes, then wash it out.”

\-- 

“I guess it’s not as bad as I thought it would be,” Alicia sighs looking at herself in the mirror. She can’t seem to stop running her fingers through her hair, surprised each and every time her fingers reach the end so quickly.

“Bloody oath! You’re smoking,” Elyza beams. She turns back towards her reflection with a sour look on her face. “I, on the other hand, look like road kill. What color is this supposed to be? Infected guts? I could have just walked outside, slit a damn corpse open and rubbed it all over my hair and get the same look. Now that I think about it, that color would be better than this!”

“Aw, come on. It’s not that bad,” Alicia smiles. She is surprised at the truth in her words. Elyza totally rocks the deep red hair.

“I look like death,” the redhead scoffs.

“Not death. The Commander of Death!” Alicia attempts to joke. Her face falls when she sees Elyza look completely crestfallen. Alicia looks at her sympathetically, “What? It’s really not as bad as you’re making it out to be. In fact, I think pomegranate suits you quite nicely.”

“At least it’s not permanent,” Elyza says with a deep sigh.

“Nothing ever is,” Alicia laments with a huff of a laugh.

“Hey, love, are you alright?” Elyza turns to her, placing a comforting hand on her bicep. “Truly? You can talk to me.”

“I know,” Alicia grumbles at this turn of her emotions. She’s more irritated at herself than worried about her feelings. She doesn’t need to talk about it, but with Elyza looking at her with all that genuine concern and gentleness, Alicia can feel the words slipping out before she has time to think. “It’s just…”

“Your family?” Elyza offers. Bingo. The woman read her mind. Again.

“Are they even alive? How am I supposed to know? We could go out there once you’re healed and look for them and find them dead. Or we could die trying to find them. Am I holding on to a false hope here? Is it worth it? Is any of this worth it?”

“I can’t answer that for you, love,” Elyza answers remorsefully. Alicia takes another short moment to dwell on what she can’t control before stiffening up, ready to just get on with the day.

“Yeah, I know,” she agrees. “Come on, let’s get you back to your couch. Don’t look at me like that. We agreed you’d heal for at least two more days.”

“I never thought being locked in a room with a gorgeous woman for a week would be as torturous as this,” Elyza all but whines as Alicia guides her back to the main room of the library.

“Sorry my dazzling wit and intelligence is such a bore,” Alicia deadpans. She stops in front of the couch and waits for Elyza to sit down.

“It’s not your wit or intelligence I’ve been dying to experience, love,” Elyza purrs with that smirk.

“Easy there, stud,” Alicia can’t help but laugh. “If you’re not fit to travel outside these walls, you definitely aren’t fit for any of the activities you’re picturing in your mind.”

“Oh, love, I didn’t hear you deny me,” Elyza teases with a huge grin on her face.

“What?” Alicia stutters. She can feel her cheeks redden by the second. She quickly tries to regain her composure. “No. I just did. I just said you couldn’t.”

“Nah ah,” Elyza tsks. “You insinuated that we would be experiencing those activities if I wasn’t injured.”

“That’s not what I said,” Alicia snaps.

“Deny it all you want, love. I heard the implications.”

“Lie down, Elyza,” Alicia commands with a firm voice and a point of her finger.

“Trying to get me on my back, love?” Elyza quips and wiggles her eyebrows suggestively.

“Really?” Alicia huffs impassively.

“Okay, okay, I’ll stop,” Elyza laughs with her hands in the air in surrender. “You just make it so easy sometimes.”

Alicia makes her way over to the little corner she claimed as her own, but before she settles in to read, she calls out a simple, “You wish I was that easy.”

“Alicia Clark,” Elyza gasps in feign surprise. She tries to hide the smile on her face, but Alicia can see it clear as day from where she sits. “Giving me a taste of my own medicine. I’m so proud.”

\-- 

“Raiding my iPod again?” The redhead’s voice startles Alicia from her thoughts, and she quickly turns down the volume on the speakers.

“Sorry, I didn’t wake you did I?”

“Even if you did, I wouldn’t mind. I’ve slept more in the past week than I have in the last 5 months,” Elyza grumbles, her voice with an extra hint of sleep huskiness dripping from it. “Speaking of, it’s officially been seven days.”

“It has,” Alicia nods.

“Alright, Nurse Clark! I’m ready for my final checkup,” Elyza suddenly exclaims as she effortlessly rids herself of the t-shirt Alicia grabbed for her in the thrift shop.

“Jesus, Elyza!” Alicia yelps, turning her back to the redhead.

“Nothing you haven’t seen before, love,” Elyza giggles shaking her head. Alicia swears Elyza’s favorite pastime is trying to make her squirm. An activity she has become increasingly more effective at as the week has progressed.

“I’m well aware,” Alicia states as she turns back to her companion clad in only her bra and jeans. Alicia inhales slowly, composing herself, before gently peeling back the bandages on Elyza’s two wounds. “These look good, I think. How are you feeling? And don’t even think about lying to me.”

“Shoulder’s still pretty sore, but I can move it without it hurting too much,” Elyza confirms with a slight roll of her shoulder. “And this little baby here is just a scrape.”

“It’s barely starting to scab over,” Alicia retorts as she carefully redresses the knife wound.

“Ah, but it is scabbing over,” Elyza offers with a hint of a smile. Alicia looks up to her face and sees the eagerness and anticipation plastered there. And honestly, who is Alicia to deny this woman her happiness.

“Alright, you can come with me on my run today,” Alicia relents with a small smile.

“You mean I can finally witness you and your golok in action?” Elyza gapes.

“My what?”

“That 14-inch piece of steel I see you strap to your hip every day when you leave here,” Elyza points to the long knife currently resting on the table to their right.

“I thought it was a machete,” Alicia mumbles.

“It is,” Elyza confirms. She stands and picks up the blade, admiring the weight in her hand. She gives it a little twirl before handing it over to Alicia. “You know, you have a thing for Filipino weapons.”

Alicia takes the offered golok and slides it into the sheath on her left hip. She looks up at Elyza questioningly.

“Your balisong is a Filipino weapon, and the golok is used there too. Well, not this exact shape, but a version of it,” Elyza explains.

“Why do you know so much about knives?” Alicia asks with amusement dripping from her voice. She checks her shoulder pack, making sure she has her basic supplies ready.

“Pays to be prepared, love,” Elyza smirks.

“Not that this history of weapons lesson isn’t fascinating, but you ready to go?”

“Yes!” Elyza practically squeals. She arms herself with her usual dual pistols, twin blades, wrist sheath, and switchblade. Alicia watches her debate in a dazzling display of short, truncated movements whether or not she should bring her shotgun. When Elyza finally turns away from the shotgun, Alicia smiles but the expression is quickly dropped as she gives the redhead a pointed look.

Elyza places her right hand over her heart clears her throat, “I, Elyza Lex, solemnly swear that I will not do anything reckless or stupid or push myself beyond my limits as I accompany, one, Alicia Clark, on her run for supplies on this day (what is the date, anyway? I lost track ages ago. Let’s just say it’s Thursday). On this Thursday morning in the year of our Lord 2010.”

Alicia rolls her eyes, unlocks the door, and exits the library without a word. This woman is a moron. A strong, stubborn, charming, beautiful, moron.

\-- 

“I’ve checked out nearly every store in the area except this one,” Alicia whispers as she crouches behind a car. Elyza peeks over the hood at the small convenience store just in the distance. She sits back down and raises her eyebrows in admiration.

“Well haven’t you been a busy little bee,” Elyza praises. Alicia suddenly places her hand over Elyza’s mouth and whips her head towards the store. She carefully peers around the car, keeping herself hidden. Alicia sees a young man, no more than 20 years old, stroll around the side of the convenience store.

“Come on, Pete. Just this last spot and we can go home,” the man calls out quietly behind him. Alicia drops back behind the car as she sees another boy, several years younger trudge clumsily behind him.

“I’m coming. I’m coming.”

Alicia looks over at Elyza who raises her eyebrows and looks down at Alicia’s hand still covering her mouth. She hastily removes her hand and mouths a quick “sorry” at her companion who returns her apology with a very dramatic eye roll. Alicia shrugs and raises an eyebrow in what can only be described as a ‘what are you going to do about it’ kind of way. She sees Elyza’s face set in determination when their silent banter is suddenly interrupted with an ear-shattering crash.

Both women peer over the hood of the car to see the younger boy stumble as he rights himself above a fallen trashcan.

“Pete! You asshole! God dammit!” the man chastises, running out from the door of the store. “Every damn biter from here to California is going to come running.”

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry. I tripped!”

“Shut up! I swear to god if you weren’t my brother I’d have murdered you ages ago,” the man chides. He bends over to help his brother right himself, carefully wiping away dirt from his jacket. His ministrations are suddenly cut short as his head whips just to the left of the car both women are hiding behind. Alicia follows his gaze and inhales at the sight in front of her.

It would appear that every single dead corpse within earshot had heard the noise the brothers made and were making their way over to find their latest feast. Alicia counts at least a dozen and a half dead ambling towards them and glances back at the brothers. The eldest has a baseball bat at the ready and is standing slightly in front of the boy who wields a fireman’s axe.

Are these two really about to try and take on a horde of that size by themselves? Are they that foolish? When she sees that the strangers make no move to run or hide, Alicia unclips the latch on her golok and begins to unsheathe it.

“Alicia,” Elyza snaps, grabbing her wrist and preventing her from fully removing her blade.

“They can’t handle that whole horde by themselves,” Alicia hisses as she pulls her wrist from Elyza’s grasp.

“It’s not our problem,” Elyza disagrees, shaking her head. Alicia looks back over at the approaching horde, at least twenty strong now, stumbling ever closer. She realizes that Elyza is probably right. She doesn’t owe anything to these strangers, but she’ll be damned if just watches the massacre unfold in front of her.

“I’m making it my problem,” she counters before standing and fully drawing her long blade. She takes one step forward, easily avoiding Elyza’s grasp before turning and looking down at her redhead. “You stay here, Elyza. You promised.”

Without waiting for a reply, Alicia turns and sprints toward the two young men. She barely hears Elyza’s desperate final plea before she swings her golok with a practiced arc, easily landing a killing blow to the first infected in her path. She’s not strong enough yet to completely slice through the skull, but the strike destroys the brain nonetheless.

Alicia rips her machete from the crumpling body and wastes not a moment before she swings into another oncoming enemy. She dispatches of dead after dead, vaguely aware of the sickening sounds of bones and brains crunching behind her. She can only hope the two strangers are holding their own as she helps thin the horde.

“Watch out!”

The words barely register in her ear as she feels a tight grasp on her leg. She doesn’t even have time to look down before she loses her balance and tumbles to the ground. Alicia gasps as her body hits the hard pavement, the wind knocked clean out of her. She struggles to catch her breath, desperately crawling away from the infected that pulled her down. As she scrambles backwards trying to unclip the Beretta from her holster, she hears a deafening bang.

The head in front of her spews rotting brain and blood, and Alicia can feel the splatter pepper her face as the corpse falls lifelessly to the ground. She lets her body weight rest on the warm asphalt as she fights to catch her breath.

“Used my gun that time. Aren’t you proud?”

“I thought I told you to stay hidden?” Alicia grunts as she stands up, taking the redhead’s offered hand.

“Couldn’t let you get munched on, love,” Elyza smirks, and despite Alicia’s initial anger at her companion defying her order, she smiles gratefully back.

Alicia is suddenly overwhelmed with the urge to wrap the infuriating woman in a fierce hug, and for the first time in days, she lets her instinct take over. She pulls her in quickly and wraps her arms firmly around Elyza’s neck. Alicia feels the woman instantly tense with surprise, but she sighs in relief as two strong arms wrap around her waist. Alicia buries her face in the red hair and mumbles a soft “thank you” into Elyza’s neck.

“Well bloody hell, love. If I’d known this is the thanks I’d get for firing my gun, I’d have done it ages ago,” Elyza laughs over Alicia’s shoulder.

“Hey, thanks for all that…”

Alicia reluctantly releases her grip on Elyza’s neck and turns around. She’s happy to see that both strangers survived the horde and are no worse for wear save the blood splattered clothes and weapons.

“I’m Russ. This clumsy dumbass over here is Pete,” the eldest says holding out his hand. Alicia shakes it firmly and offers a small smile, but remains silent. “Anyway, thanks again for your help. I’m not sure we could have handled that many biters on our own.”

“You’re welcome,” Alicia nods. She walks slowly towards her dropped machete and cleans it before resheathing the blade. She turns to find Russ taking a few quick steps towards her.

“So, what’s your name?” He asks sweetly, placing his hand on Alicia’s forearm. She casually moves from his touch but not before noticing the look of pure rage burning behind Elyza’s eyes.

“Why do you want to know?” Alicia asks cautiously. Even though she helped them, she is not about to make the same mistake twice and trust these strangers without question.

“I just want a name so I can stop referring to you as “beautiful girl who saved my brother’s life” in my head. It’s too long, you see?” He flirts, and Alicia has to physically fight to keep herself from rolling her eyes at the line.

“Not sure we trust you, mate,” Elyza suddenly interrupts coldly, standing just slightly in front of Alicia.

“But you saved us. And I told you our names,” he practically whines. He dips his head and puts on a pitifully fake pout. “Come on, we’re solid guys, aren’t we Pete?”

“Yeah, the best,” the younger brother finally pipes in, not bothering to hide his curiosity as he studies Alicia’s face.

“Susanna. And this is Vicki,” Alicia blurts, taking a step forward and stopping just in line with Elyza. The redhead turns and flashes her a quick quizzical look before facing the brothers again.

“Well, hello, Susanna,” Russ smiles. He drops his face before addressing Elyza. “Vicki. We were just about to finish up out here and head back. We’ve got a little community not far. We call it the O.R. It’s just about an hour north. You should come!”

“Yes!” Pete interjects, his expression rivaling a little puppy. “And you’ve already proved you’re not out to kill us, what with you risking your life for us and all that.”

“The O.R.?” Elyza challenges, completely ignoring the boys’ charm.

“Mmhmm, it’s the old ostrich ranch up in Picacho. Huge tourist attraction back before, and now the owners run the settlement,” Russ explains animatedly. “We’ve got food, water, shelter, and we’ve done a pretty good job fortifying the place.”

“Thanks for the invite, boys, but I think we’re good,” Alicia says, doing her best to let them down easy.

“Are you sure, Susanna? We’re always looking for more community members. Took a few in not 5 days ago,” Russ goes on. He locks eyes with Alicia and smiles a toothy grin.

“She’s sure, mate,” Elyza interjects stepping once more in front of Alicia, breaking Russ’s eye contact with her.

“Okay, well, if you change your mind, it’s a straight shot up I-10. Just follow the billboards to the ranch. You really can’t miss it. And tell them Russ sent you,” he winks. With that, Russ turns and walks back from where they appeared with Pete trailing a few steps behind.

With the boys out of earshot, Elyza finally drops her scowl and turns to face Alicia with a smirk, “Susanna and Vicki?”

“I panicked, okay? I didn’t think he’d stop asking until I gave him a name, and I figured the longer I denied him, the more suspicious it would seem. I mean, did you see the way the young one was already staring?” Alicia rambles. The more she thinks about the way Pete was studying her face, the surer she is that they had heard about their descriptions. Alicia is suddenly thanking the gods that be she had the foresight to change their hair. “And then I looked over at you and remembered The Bangles on your shirt, and yeah… Susanna and Vicki.”

“Have I mentioned that I bloody love this shirt?” Elyza smiles, looking down.

“You did when I first gave it to you, but I was pretty sure that was the fever talking,” Alicia teases. She thinks she’ll always be grateful of Elyza’s ability to read her mood and change topics on a dime to brighten her day.

“The fever speaks true,” Elyza states knowingly. Alicia doesn’t even hesitate this time. She pulls the redhead into another hug and holds her close for a moment. She finally breaks the embrace when she hears Elyza mumble into her shoulder. “Shall we get on with this and head back?”

Alicia reluctantly steps back with a sigh and gestures towards the small convenience store, “After you.”


	7. Bell Jar

“We should at least check it out,” Alicia mumbles into the silent library. The silver light from the full moon sneaks in through the thin gaps in their barricades and illuminates their home in a soft glimmer. In the dim light, Alicia can just make out the outline of the back of her companion resting on the couch.

“I don’t trust them,” Elyza states plainly, not moving from her curled up position.

“They’ve been nothing but civil to us.” Alicia rolls to her side and rests her weight on her elbow.

“To you, maybe,” Elyza pouts, finally turning around to face Alicia. “Chunderhead is an asshole.”

“Well maybe you should stop referring to him as ‘Chunderhead,’” Alicia shoots far more harshly than she intends.

“I’ll stop calling him Chunderhead when he stops cracking on you every bloody minute!” Elyza yells back, clearly worked up over the tentative friendship Alicia and Russ have developed over the past week.

“What does that even mean?” Alicia grumbles confused by the Aussie’s choice of slang. It’s not the first time she hasn’t understood Elyza, but Alicia can sense the fight coming, and she’d rather be fully informed before diving in.

“It means that every time those blokes just happen to find us in town, the bloody asshole can’t keep his eyes or his hands to himself!” Elyza spits. Even in the dim moonlight, Alicia can see the Aussie’s brow furrow and jaw clench with the words.

“Are you jealous?” Alicia sputters, truly shocked. The look on her face must be transparent enough, for Elyza’s own facial features soften drastically and her voice returns to its usual husky yet soft tone.

“Alicia, love,” Elyza soothes. “You honestly can’t expect me to just turn a blind eye to Chunderhead. Every time he reaches out for you, you back away, and the bloody fool won’t take a hint! I can’t stand that sort of behavior, you know that, so please stop pretending I am ever going to play nice around that asshole.”

“Okay,” Alicia relents. “But I still think we should check out the O.R.”

“Alicia…” Elyza whines.

“You’re pretty much healed now. At least well enough to travel. We haven’t seen or heard anything about the Proctors in two weeks, not since those people in the pharmacy. And I don’t know about you, but I’m getting awfully sick of this library,” Alicia states, her tone light, trying to mask her eagerness.

“Is that really the only reason you want to visit the O.R.?” Elyza prods knowingly.

“Okay, no, it’s not,” Alicia concedes pointlessly. She rolls back over on to her back, not wanting to look at her companion when she elaborates. She knows Elyza knows the truth; the redhead just wants to hear her admit it out loud. “Russ has talked about how many people they come across when they’re out gathering supplies. Someone there could have seen them.”

“There’s a small chance, love,” she says sympathetically.

“Better than none at all. I know my mother will never stop looking for me, so I’m not going to stop looking for her,” Alicia argues sternly. She’s well aware that Elyza is just trying to keep her expectations in check. She knows she’s just trying to look out for her. She knows this and yet, she can’t stop the bitter response before it leaves her lips. “You don’t have to come with me. Russ said he’d take me there tomorrow morning. I can check it out and be back before nightfall.”

“Bloody hell, woman!” Elyza exclaims loudly, startling Alicia. “You really think I’m going to let Chunderhead put you in a car? Alone? With him? Not a chance in hell, love.”

Alicia rolls back up on her elbow and gives the redhead a genuine grin. “So we’re going tomorrow then?”

“Tomorrow, love. Now lie back down so we can get some proper sleep, yeah?” Elyza gently nudges Alicia’s shoulder, urging her to roll over. She wraps her arm around her waist before nuzzling into Alicia’s hair. It’s comforting and intimate, and it’s a position that they had recently found themselves in on a fairly consistent basis. If Alicia’s being honest, it’s a position she doesn’t mind in the least.

\-- 

Alicia stands next to the Harley, her arms crossed, waiting impatiently for Elyza to finish gushing over the inanimate motor vehicle.

“Aw, my baby, how I missed you,” she coos against the warm metal. “You were so good today, do you know that? I promise to never leave for that long ever again. Pay no attention to the mean ol’ brunette over there. She doesn’t understand.”

Alicia rolls her eyes with a heavy sigh, “Have you finished procrastinating yet? You’re causing a scene.” Alicia looks past Elyza to the gates of the O.R. and sees at least five community members gaping at the redhead gently stroking her motorcycle in the parking lot.

“Give me a minute, love. I’m just showing my appreciation to this beauty,” Elyza says as she runs her hand delicately along the length of the motorbike.

“You’re stalling.”

“So what if I am?” Elyza snaps finally turning to face Alicia. “Chunderhead can wait.”

Alicia doesn’t bother with a reply. Instead, she reaches down and intertwines her fingers with Elyza’s and gently tugs her away from the Harley and towards the entrance. Russ stands awkwardly holding the gate open, and Alicia can’t help but notice the slight scowl on his face or the triumphant grin Elyza shoots at him as they cross the threshold into the community.

Alicia marvels at the large white structure in front of them and is about to ask Russ what it is when an older man, in his early sixties at least, approaches them with a grand smile on his face. His sun worn-skin glistens in the desert heat as he offers his hand to Alicia. She tries to remove her right hand from Elyza’s left, but the redhead just tightens her grip forcing Alicia to awkwardly shake the man’s with her left.

Unfazed, the man accepts the unconventional greeting. “Hello, you must the famous Susanna and Vicki! Russ here has not stopped talking about you for a week. I’m glad he finally convinced you to visit. Hopefully, you’ll stay. We’re always looking for new members, and from what Russ told us, you’d fit right in here,” he says with a wink. “I’m Solomon Simon, but you can just call me Sol.”

Alicia smiles at the warm welcome and begins to feel her body release some of its tension. The man standing in front of her seems genuine enough, and she picks up no signs of hostility or danger. She’s about to respond when a certain Aussie beats her to it.

“So, Sol…” Elyza drawls his name. “What kind of operation do you run here?”

“An Aussie!” Sol exclaims, his eyes wide with surprise. He turns to his gaze to the side and drops his smile a fraction. “Russ, you didn’t tell me Vicki was Australian.”

“And what of it, mate?” Elyza snaps, and Alicia can feel the tension bristling off her companion.

“Nothing at all. We just don’t get too many foreign accents around here,” Sol counters quickly, his smile back to its megawatt glow.

“Maybe you should get out more, mate,” Elyza bites coldly. Alicia gives her hand a tight squeeze, urging her to relax, but the gesture seems to have the opposite effect. Elyza breathes in deeply and before the Aussie can get another word out, Alicia pipes in quickly, “So, how about that tour?”

“Yes, yes, of course!” Sol beams. He opens his arms wide, gesturing towards the large white structure. “This way.”

\-- 

“And over there right next to the greenhouse, are the livestock corrals. We have ostriches, of course, and a few cattle,” Sol finishes with a flourish of his hands. Alicia smirks at how much the man uses his hands to talk; it reminds her of how her grandfather used to tell stories. Each gesture so big and open, making the story seem grand and magical.

Her thoughts don’t seem to be reciprocated by her companion if the slight edge to her voice is any indication of that fact.

“Looks like you’ve thought of everything, mate. How do you get all the water you need to maintain the livestock and the farm? Doesn’t seem to rain all that often here, and I didn’t see a lake or creek nearby as we drove in,” Elyza questions, her grip on Alicia’s hand firmer than ever.

“Nothing gets past you, does it?” Sol says with a smile. His remark is clearly meant to be a small joke, a means to lighten Elyza’s mood, but when the redhead just stares back at him, no glimmer of a smile nor a smirk even in the vicinity of her face, Sol clears his throat and explains, “We actually trade with another settlement not too far from here. They’re located right on top of an underground well. Been providing water to the people for centuries, so the legends say, and it’s showing no signs of drying up.”

“Lucky you,” Elyza quips with a slight tilt of her head.

“It’s not luck, my dear,” Sol states, no longer trying to appease the redhead with pleasantries. “We’ve worked hard to establish the relationships we have with people. We know there’s strength in numbers, and we’re always looking to help wanderers like you. In fact, let me introduce our newest members. We found them stranded not far down the I-10. Their car had overheated in the desert, and we offered them shelter for the night. Been with us ever since.”

Sol leads the pair over to a covered picnic area. Alicia can see at least twenty people enjoying lunch under the shade of the large structure.

“And when was this?” Elyza questions innocently, as they walk towards a table in the back. A man, probably in his thirties, sits with his hand resting gently on the thigh of another woman of the same age. The couple smiles at a small blonde boy, who looks vaguely familiar.

“Janie, J.C., how long have you been with us now?” Sol asks the couple.

“Three weeks or so, I think?” J.C. responds, looking over to his significant other for confirmation.

“Yeah, three weeks,” Janie smiles. “Wow, has it really only been that long? It feels like home already.”

“And who’s the anklebiter?” Elyza asks pointing to the young boy.

Alicia comes to an abrupt stop, causing Elyza to whip around and face her, a look of worry in her eyes. Alicia fights to keep the pure shock and guilt spreading throughout her chest from showing. She recognizes that boy. His face has haunted her dreams since the day she murdered his parents in the pharmacy. Elyza takes her free hand and squeezes her shoulder, giving her a look of understanding. The gesture does enough to snap Alicia from her downward spiral.

She shakes her head and tries desperately to maintain her focus on what Sol is currently saying. “Ah, yes, young Connor here, came to us a month or so ago. Unfortunately, his parents never returned from a run a few weeks back, but Janie and J.C. have sort of adopted the fellow.”

“Just doing our part. We’re happy to take this munchkin under our wing,” J.C. jokes as he wraps a protective arm around the boy’s shoulders. Alicia offers a small smile and forces her mind to cling to the fact that Connor is looked after. She may have taken his parents, but at least the boy is being cared for.

She swallows her guilt as best she can and tilts her head at Sol, finally registering part of Janie and J.C.’s story. Alicia narrows her eyes at Sol and mutters quietly, “Wait, Russ said you just took in a group less than two weeks ago?”

“What was that now?” Sol smiles, cocking his head to the side curiously.

“Russ,” Alicia enunciates. Elyza squeezes her hand, giving her the confidence to continue steadily. “When I saved him and Pete from that horde, he told us you just took in a group of survivors not five days prior. And this was last week. This couple can’t be your latest additions.”

“Perhaps he just got confused,” Sol explains with a nonchalant wave of his hand. “We’re always meeting new people. He probably just mixed up his days.”

“I doubt that,” Elyza mumbles under her breath. Alicia sets her jaw and narrows her eyes at the man. She can tell there is something he is hiding. She can feel it with the way his brown eyes twitch every so often, with the way his weight shifts ever so slightly from foot to foot.

“Actually, you know what? He was right!” Sol suddenly affirms. He whips his head towards Alicia and locks eyes with her. She notices a strange look in his eyes, but she can’t decipher it. “We did take in a group around that time. Kept to themselves mostly. Let’s see, two women, three men. I think there was a mother/son. What’s her name again? Started with an M… Michelle? Marilyn? Madeline?”

“Madison?” Alicia offers expectantly. She can feel Elyza tense with her admission of this information, but she ignores her companion’s silent warning. This is why she is here. This is what she is hoping for.

“Yes! Madison, that’s it,” Sol says with a snap of his fingers. “Son was a twitchy fellow, and they were traveling with a very well spoken man and two others… I don’t recall their names. Do you know these people?” He asks with a poignant look.

“I’m looking for them. Where are they?” Alicia questions, doing her best to remain calm. Her family is here. Or was here. These people have seen them alive. Recently.

“Why are you looking for them, Susanna?” The emphasis on the name doesn’t fall on deaf ears, and Alicia can see out of the corner of her eye Elyza rest her free hand near her back. Alicia knows she’s ready to draw one of her twin blades the instant a threat becomes a reality.

“I…” Alicia falters.

“You wouldn’t happen to be Alicia would you?” Sol coaxes, taking a small step towards her.

“How…” she stutters again, trying to find her composure. Just as she was about to turn and make a run for it with Elyza, Sol opens his arms wide again with a grin.

“Don’t worry, my dear. Your mother told us all about you in case we ran into you,” he laughs heartily. The twinkling in his eyes is back, and Alicia allows her body to relax although she can still feel Elyza’s radiate stress.

“So, she’s really alive,” Alicia all but gasps.

“Yes, at least she was a few days ago. But they’re gone now,” Sol confirms with a small shake of his head.

“What? Why? What happened?” Alicia urges. She takes an eager step forward towards the man in front of her, but her progress is halted by a slight tug on her hand. Elyza stands firmly in place, grounding Alicia back to reality.

“The Proctors,” Sol states simply.

“The Proctors?” Alicia gulps. Her heart sinks into the depths of her chest at the mention of the name. She should have known that Proctor John would be after her whole family and not just her. The thought hadn’t even crossed her mind until this very moment.

Sol nods sadly, “They came round here spreading the word that if we were to find any one of you, we could turn you over to them for a reward. A good reward.”

“You bloody asshole! How could you?” Elyza suddenly snaps. She takes a few aggressive steps forward, and this time Alicia is the one to keep them standing in place. She manages to prevent Elyza from jumping the man in front of them, but there is no stopping her mouth. “You’re a damn hypocrite spreading lies about how you help all the wanders like us, and when a group actually needs to be sheltered and needs protection, you turn them over to a bloody murderous gang without a second thought! All for a god damn reward!”

“Elyza, isn’t it?” Sol responds calmly with his hands up in surrender. “We didn’t turn them over. We asked them to leave. I didn’t want to give them to the Proctors, but I couldn’t take the risk of Proctor John finding out that we were harboring them either. Your mother,” Sol turns and addresses Alicia. “Agreed with me. They left willingly. But not before we supplied them with food, water, and a vehicle to get them somewhere safe.”

Sol’s explanation placates Alicia enough to ask for more information. “Do you know where they went?”

“I do. Your mother told us where they were headed before she left, in case we ran into you, my dear,” he nods. “They were headed to Tombstone.”

“Tombstone?” Elyza scoffs. “You expect us to believe that, mate?”

“Believe what you will. I’m just telling the truth,” Sol shakes his head at Elyza before continuing. “There was a young man with them who seemed to be familiar with that area. A family ranch or something like that. She told me to give you this message, Alicia. She told me to tell you that she knew you’d make it. You’ve always been the strong one and she needs you to be strong for a little longer.”

“Thank you,” Alicia offers quickly before Elyza can retort. She begins to guide her redheaded companion back through the settlement towards the entrance. Their progress is halted when Sol’s booming voice echoes behind them.

“So you’ll be going to find them then?” He challenges. Alicia turns and raises an eyebrow in confusion at his drastic change in demeanor, but he quickly softens his face and corrects himself. “I mean, you won’t be staying with us here at the O.R.?”

“We won’t be staying, mate,” Elyza shoots over her shoulder as she drags Alicia along behind her.

\-- 

Alicia rests her head between Elyza’s shoulders as they speed back towards their little library. Elyza’s muscles remain tense under her grip as Alicia’s mind races with all the information she just received. Despite the rather strained visit at the O.R., she can’t help the flutter of hope dancing in her chest at the thought of seeing her family again.

As Elyza brings her bike to a stop a block away from their temporary home, Alicia hops off with practiced ease and draws her machete, ready to dispatch of any dead as they walk the remaining distance back. The journey is uneventful and silent, and Alicia can’t help but glance over at the redhead every few minutes, desperate to decipher the cold look on her face.

Finally inside the relative comfort and safety of their shelter, Elyza finally breaks her silence. “You can’t be seriously considering going to Tombstone,” she rages tossing her jacket haphazardly on the floor. She places her hands on her hips and angrily waits for Alicia to respond.

“Elyza, please-” is all Alicia is able to get out before the redhead goes off again.

“I don’t trust them, love! It’s too convenient. It’s too easy. Good things like this just don’t happen.”

“Maybe they do!” Alicia shouts. She’s had enough of Elyza’s negativity for the day. She kept insulting the people at the community. Questioning them every step of the way when they have shown no reason to not trust them. Alicia is dumbfounded by Elyza’s anger. “It’s my family, Elyza! Don’t you understand?”

Alicia crosses the room and grabs for Elyza’s hand, but the redhead flinches from the touch. Alicia feels her heart drop to the pit of her stomach for the second time today. She takes a step back, unable to do anything else and steels her face. She’s always known this day would come. Elyza has been nothing but honest about her intentions to travel alone. With a heavy sigh and a heavy heart, Alicia sets her jaw and continues. “You don’t have to come. I’ve been on my own before. I can do it again.”

“Alicia, love, that’s not-” Elyza starts, her eyes pleading with Alicia to understand. But Alicia shakes her head and turns around; unable to face the woman she’s grown to care about.

“It’s fine,” Alicia bites using her words to protect her own heart. If she says them aloud, perhaps they’ll soften the inevitable heartbreak. “I know you don’t do the people thing, Elyza. I know you don’t trust anyone. I know I’m no exception.”

She turns to face Elyza and is met with the same look on her face she saw all those weeks ago back at the dam, cold and guarded.

“You’re right,” Elyza says impassively. “I don’t do the people thing. I promised I’d return you to your family, and I will. We leave at first light. Best pack your stuff now, love.”

They sleep in opposite ends of the library that night.

\-- 

Alicia wakes well before the break of dawn the next morning. The little sleep she was able to get was stuttered and restless due to her mind’s refusal to shut up. Though she’s been in this exact situation with Elyza before, it hurts worse this time. The few weeks they spent alone, getting to know one another as Elyza recovered from her wounds, have been some of the best weeks Alicia has spent in the apocalypse. The redhead is full of life, and she sparks something within her. Alicia thought they had formed a tight bond, that she was the exception to Elyza’s rule. Guess not.

Alicia flinches when she hears the telltale signs of Elyza rousing from sleep. The Aussie always lets out the same sigh, pulls the same stretches before she rolls off the couch, and today is no different. The realization that this may be the last morning she spends with her companion hits her like a blow to the gut. Alicia can feel the tears burning behind her eyes, and confident that she is adequately hidden from wandering eyes, lets them fall silently.

“Alicia, love,” a soft voice calls through the still library. “Are you awake?”

“I’m awake,” Alicia retorts quickly. She doesn’t want the redhead to get any closer and risk discovering her tear-streaked face.

“Okay, well, dawn’s here. Best get a move on,” Elyza adds gently. “Tombstone’s only a half hour drive, but the sooner you get to your family, the better, yeah?”

Alicia’s heart plummets even further than she thought possible with the words. She lets out an involuntary sniffle that she’s sure Elyza can hear and quickly curses herself, wiping away the traitorous teardrops as they fall. She sits up, careful to keep her back to the room, and pulls on her leather jacket. She meticulously clips her Beretta into her holster and sheathes the machete into place before tucking her balisong into her boot. She grabs her shoulder pack and is ready to throw it over her shoulder when she finally turns around.

Elyza stands awkwardly directly in front of her. Her blue eyes are comically wide open, and without a word, she holds out a single protein bar. Alicia takes the offered food with a tight smile before taking a wide step around the Aussie.

\-- 

The drive south is wracked with tension. Elyza speeds down the deserted highway at a breakneck pace as Alicia hangs on, breathing in the smell of her leather jacket for the last time. With the protection her sunglasses provide, Alicia keeps her head up, away from the redhead’s comforting back as the desert scenery blurs past her.

Alicia notices a road sign dictating that their destination is only a few miles away, and she feels Elyza ease off the throttle. Their speed slows as they enter the small town, and Alicia is finally able to take in the sights. They pass a hotel, and Alicia has to turn her head the other way at the sight. Several people are chained to the surrounding fence, half of them pull uselessly as their dead instincts urge them to find living flesh while the other half fight for their very lives against more dead approaching. The cruelty of humanity sickens Alicia’s already troubled heart.

As they approach the center of the small town, Elyza brings the bike to a stop, cuts the motor, and unceremoniously hops off. “Here we are, love,” she gestures grandly, though her tone of voice is anything but. “Tombstone, Arizona.”

Alicia takes a stuttered breath and swings her leg over the motorbike. “Thanks for bringing me here,” she manages to get out. She holds her hand out to Elyza. The Aussie looks at her open palm before meeting her eyes. Elyza shakes her head minutely before swatting away Alicia’s gesture.

“Don’t be silly, love,” Elyza scoffs. “I told you I’d deliver you to your family. I don’t see them here. Do you?”

“I can find them on my own,” Alicia snaps. She doesn’t mean to, she can hear Elyza’s hidden plea in her words, but Alicia can’t bear to drag out this farewell any longer. She’s not sure she can hold in her emotions, and she’ll be damned if she lets Elyza see her weep.

“Alicia, what if-” Elyza starts but is quickly cut off by a wave of Alicia’s hand. Alicia can see the hurt dance across that beautiful face, but she sets her jaw and continues.

“I’ll be fine, Elyza. You don’t owe me anything else,” Alicia finishes with a slightly softer tone. She really doesn’t want to hurt the Aussie standing in front of her. She just wants her to leave before Alicia breaks. “I promise. I’ll be fine.”

Elyza inhales and gives a small nod before mounting her Harley. Alicia’s breathing accelerates as the motor roars to life. She hears Elyza rev the engine a few times, and she suddenly lunges forward and grabs at Elyza’s forearm. She’s desperate to say something, anything, to get those blue eyes to look at her once more.

“Can you do me a favor though, please?” Alicia smiles.

“Anything for you, love,” Elyza smirks, and Alicia can feel her heart swell at seeing that devastating grin one last time.

“Be careful, and please don’t die,” Alicia pleads. She gives Elyza’s arm a gentle squeeze and begins to take a step back when she suddenly feels strong arms pull her down into an embrace. The redhead buries her face in her hair, and Alicia takes another stuttered inhale, begging her body to hold back her tears.

“As you wish,” she hears muttered into her ear, and she can’t help the chuckle that escapes her lips.

“The Princess Bride,” she smiles as she reluctantly breaks the embrace and steps away.

“Thought I’d bring it full circle, love,” Elyza winks with that smirk. Her face quickly falls, and she looks deeply into Alicia’s eyes. “Jag har blivit kär i dig och det gör ont i min hjärta att lämna dig. Men du hat din familj här. Glöm aldrig att jag älskar dig.”

Alicia watches her quickly pull down her aviators, undoubtedly trying to hide the tears Alicia swears she could see forming behind those beautiful blue eyes. She wants nothing more than to ask what she just said, but before she can open her mouth to form the question, Elyza restarts her engine, and without another glance, speeds off into the distance. Alicia stands there in the middle of the ghost town, fully intent on watching her companion disappear into the horizon, but her plans are abruptly cut short by an all-too-familiar drawl.

“Heartbreaking, really. You two certainly could have been something.”

Alicia doesn’t bother to turn. She recognizes that voice, and without wasting another second she takes off down the road with a desperate cry. “Elyza!”

Before she can put two steps in front of her, she feels thick strong arms wrap around her, pinning her arms behind her back. The man jerks her hard, and the movement lifts her off her feet, spinning her around to face Proctor John.

“Nah ah ah, sweetheart. Don’t worry about Elyza; she won’t make it far. My brothers will grab her soon enough,” Proctor John smiles at her as he approaches. Alicia can feel her heartbeat quicken and her breath become ragged the closer he gets.

He reaches out long, weatherworn, fingers and takes her chin in his hands, forcing her to look into his eyes. She tenses, her face twisted in an enraged snarl as he speaks. “You really shouldn’t be so trusting, Nurse. I would have thought a smart girl like you would be wise enough to realize that everyone has their price.”

“My family?” Alicia spits out.

“Isn’t here, I’m afraid. Never were,” he states, finally releasing her face. He stands up straight before continuing, “I’ll admit, I didn’t think good ol’ Solomon Simon would actually sell you out given the chance. Guess I was wrong.”

Alicia screams in fury and battles to break free of the iron grip the Proctor has on her. Her struggle is cut short when she feels a sharp pain along her right temple, and the world instantly shifts to black.


	8. Dover Beach

Alicia groans in pain as her eyes struggle to open. The harsh light of day sears through her aching skull as she tries to sit up. Her body protests stubbornly, and she wills her eyes to focus on her surroundings. Her hands are bound above her, a thick rope attached to the drainpipe of a sink. There are two double beds in the adjacent room and a small desk in the corner. Generic art hangs on the unfinished wood planks above the beds. It must be a hotel room, perhaps a cabin of sorts.

Using all the strength she can muster, Alicia sits up fully, ignoring the throbbing pain in her temple. She glances down to see all her weapons removed, and she can’t even feel her balisong in her boot anymore. She gives the open room one more scan and sighs in relief when she finds the space empty of another living soul. One less thing to worry about.

She gives her restraints a firm tug, grunting as the strain of her muscles burns as fiercely as pain in her wrists. She stops for a moment, allowing her body a minute to rest before she pulls again. Her second attempt is cut short as the doorknob rattles before it slowly turns.

“Ah, you’re awake. Good,” Proctor John nods as he approaches slowly. He rests his hand on the revolver on his waist as he comes to a stop a few feet in front of her. “You keep surprising me. You and your blonde friend, well, redheaded friend, I suppose. Whose idea was it to change your hair? It was yours, wasn’t it?”

Alicia doesn’t respond verbally, but she lowers her jaw and purses her lips in annoyance. “Smart. Bought you some time. Not that it did you any good in the long run.”

“What do you want?” Alicia finally speaks, her voice cold and hard.

“What we all want. Power. You and your family, your little friend included, have caused people to question my power. And I can’t have that. I once told you that civilization is born from violence. Do you remember?” He asks poignantly. Alicia keeps her face still but gives a small shrug in confirmation. “Good,” Proctor John smirks. “You’re going to help me prove that point.”

“What are you talking about?” She spits, her eyes narrow in frustration.

“You’re my example, Alicia,” he takes another step forward and squats down to her eye level. John pauses a moment, locking his eyes with Alicia’s. His voice remains calm and slow. “I’m going to show them what happens when someone crosses me. So rest up, sweetheart. You get to watch your precious Elyza die in the morning. And after that, we’ll find your family, and then you’ll get to watch them die too.”

Proctor John stands to his full height and offers a small smile before turning his back to Alicia. She huffs through her nose, her hatred for the man bubbling to the surface as he reaches the door. He opens the door and takes one step out before he calls back over his shoulder.

“Oh, and Alicia, they won’t be merciful deaths. Gotta make it memorable, you see.”

When the sound of Proctor John’s light footsteps fades away, Alicia throws her head back against the wall under the sink in frustration. Tears burn behind her eyes at the thought of that man putting an end to her Elyza, and it’s all her fault. She’s the reason they came to Tombstone. Elyza warned her that it was too good to be true. She was right. Again. Good things just don’t happen, and now Alicia sits bound and restrained to a goddamn sink while Elyza is suffering who knows what, who knows where until the morning when they’ll kill her slowly.

The image of the life slowly draining from those beautiful blue eyes sears in Alicia’s brain, and she doesn’t fight the tears any longer. They fall silent and fat down her cheeks until there are no more left to shed. She moves her arm awkwardly to wipe away the evidence of her despair when her breath catches in her throat.

The motion of her arm moved something underneath the thick length of rope tied around her wrists. The beginning embers of hope smolder in her chest as she twists her wrists once again. There it is. The Proctors didn’t remove her bracelet.

Alicia pants and grunts as she maneuvers her wrists and arms, trying to dislodge the rope enough to access the hidden clasp with her long fingers. It’s awkward and clumsy and extremely slow going, but the prospect of escaping and finding Elyza in time spurs her forward.

The rough rope scratches and cuts her tender skin, and when she finally feels the clasp give way, she exclaims quietly in victory. She wraps her fingers around the small blade and begins to work the knife back and forth over the rope. Her progress is agonizingly slow, tiny fibers breaking at the edge of the knife one by one. Alicia takes deep, calming breaths as she continues to free herself while the sun gets lower and lower in the sky.

Alicia’s brow glistens with sweat as she finally sighs in relief when the last strand pops free. She lets her left arm drop to her side and shakes it out quickly before cutting her right wrist free. Alicia lifts herself carefully to a standing position, swaying slightly with the pounding in her head, before making her way to the window on the other side of the room. She peeks out cautiously from behind the curtain and strains her eyes into the darkness. She can see a row of cabins just across from her with a few lights on, and two Proctors sitting on the porch of the furthest cabin, illuminated only by the butts of their cigarettes.

After a quick exam of the small room, Alicia huffs in defeat as she finds all the windows and the back door nailed shut. Unless she wants to risk the noise of smashing a window open, the only escape is through the front door. She makes her way back to front window and peers out at the two Proctors standing guard.

She watches their movements patiently for what seems like hours when she finally sees them stand and make their way inside. Alicia knows this is it. The shift change wouldn’t last long. It is now or never.

Alicia takes a few hurried steps towards the door and moves to grasp the handle when she freezes. The door handle jiggles on its own, and Alicia raises the tiny bracelet blade she still holds in defense. She lets out an audible gasp as the door slowly pushes open.

A familiar silhouette stands illuminated by the moonlight, and Alicia lunges forward, fully intent on wrapping the woman in a tight embrace. But just as she grabs the collar of that familiar leather jacket, Alicia feels soft lips pressing against her own. The kiss is short and hurried, and Alicia honestly doesn’t remember when her body decided to lean in for it instead of a hug. She pulls back just as quickly as she leaned in and is about to open her mouth when she hears that husky voice coming from that smirking woman once more.

“Questions later. Escape now,” Elyza commands with a hint of wonder in her voice. She holds out her hand, and Alicia doesn’t hesitate to intertwine her fingers with the redhead’s. They duck behind the corner of the cabin just as two new Proctors exit the far building, and the women make their way to the backside of the small cabin. Once there, Elyza pulls out two familiar blades from her belt and hands them over to Alicia.

“Couldn’t grab our guns, but I figured you’d want these back,” she whispers as Alicia sheathes her golok and brandishes her balisong with a flick of her wrist. Elyza then pulls both of her twin blades from behind her back, and Alicia can’t help the overwhelming relief wash over her. Elyza is alive and okay, as far as she can tell. She reaches up with her free hand and pulls Elyza by the back of her neck towards her once more. Their second kiss is just as rushed as the first, but Alicia feels it everywhere.

Breaking apart a mere moment later, Elyza inhales sharply before speaking. “Okay,” she nods to steady herself in the present. “Best I figure it, we make our way back towards that parking lot they brought us in from, find my baby, speed away, and then we talk about that kiss.”

“Why don’t we just sneak off into the woods?” Alicia gestures behind them, ignoring Elyza’s quip about the kiss. “A lot less risky, don’t you think?”

“Look around, love,” Elyza shakes her head, and Alicia follows her gaze. The cabin they are currently hiding behind rests about twenty feet from the edge of a cliff. Looking to the left and right, Alicia can see that the row of cabins follows the cliff’s edge, in a curve. They are literally crouching near the bottom vertex of a u-shaped cliff, and in the silence, Alicia can hear a roaring river just below. She gasps at the realization before throwing her head with a scoff.

“We don’t really have anywhere else to go, love,” Elyza sighs. “One way out of this mess, and that’s through the parking lot.”

“Okay,” Alicia concedes. “What’s your plan this time? And don’t tell me you’re just going to walk out there, tell them to rack off, and kill them if they don’t.”

Elyza lets out a stifled chortle as she gently caresses Alicia’s face. She opens her mouth to reply when her words suddenly die in her throat. Alicia stands straight at the sound of heavy footsteps approaching. Out of the corner of her eye, Alicia sees the tiniest of movements as Elyza makes to dispatch of the Proctor, but before the redhead can even stand, Alicia plunges the blade of her balisong deep into the throat of the man.

He lets out a startled gurgle as the blood pools in his throat before dropping to the ground. Alicia rips the knife from his neck and slowly sinks it into his eye socket, effectively destroying the brain. She’s wiping her balisong clean when she feels a hand wrap gently around her wrist. Turning towards the woman, Alicia finds her companion shocked and concerned with Alicia’s apparent impassiveness at killing the man.

She offers Elyza a simple shrug of her shoulders, “You’re still recovering.” Alicia doesn’t need a response. She’s already let this woman ride out of her life twice, only to be reunited in a life or death struggle. She’s not about to lose her again. Not when she can do something about it. Knife clean, Alicia reaches over the corpse and pulls the assault rifle from his stiffening hands. She quickly checks the magazine before tossing it to Elyza.

Elyza catches the rifle with ease and slings the weapon over her shoulder. The pair makes their way along the backside of the cabin, ducking down before scurrying to the safety of the next building’s shadows. Alicia mercilessly slides her balisong over another exposed throat and scavenges a pistol from the dead man.

When they reach the corner of the final cabin, Elyza pauses behind the wall. Alicia waits as the redhead peers around the corner.

“Bloody hell,” Elyza swears.

“What is it?” Alicia asks, keeping her eyes trained to their rear, ensuring no Proctor could get the jump on them.

“There’s too many. They’re just standing around all the bikes. Alicia, love, they’re blocking the only way out,” Elyza whispers as she turns to face the brunette.

“There has to be another way,” Alicia argues, sparing a glance around the corner. Elyza wasn’t exaggerating. A group of maybe ten Proctors mills about the entrance to the campground. All armed. All dangerous.

“We can double back. Try our luck on the other side of this camp,” Elyza offers.

Before the words fully leave her lips, both women duck back behind the cabin as gunfire ricochets off the wooden paneling.

“There they are!”

“New plan, love,” Elyza calls as she fires blindly around the cabin. The return shots splinter the wood inches from Elyza’s body, and Alicia doesn’t hesitate to grab the redhead and pull her further behind the wall to safety. Alicia draws her pistol and sends off a few mindless shots of her own, thankful that the dead Proctor had not only the gun on him but also two spare clips.

“This isn’t a plan. We can’t take them all!” Alicia hisses as they trade places, allowing Elyza to fire towards the enemy as Alicia reloads her pistol.

“You got a better idea? I’m all ears, love,” Elyza snaps back.

“One, but I’m not sure it’s any better,” Alicia retorts taking her turn as Elyza reloads. When Alicia squeezes off the final round in her clip, she hears the first groan of the infected approach. Typical. The cacophony of the firefight roused the dead. It really wouldn’t be long before they were overrun, and by not just the living.

“We’re running out of options here. Best tell me this plan, yeah?” Elyza breathes. She takes her spot at the corner, but before firing throws a quick, “Last clip, love. Now or never.”

Alicia takes a steadying breath as she watches her companion fire off purposeful rounds towards the Proctors. When she hears that harsh click of an empty clip, Alicia grabs Elyza’s hand and takes off in the direction they came, ducking behind walls as gunshots pepper the wood surrounding them. The closer they get to farthest back cabin, the louder the groan of the dead becomes.

Alicia spares a glance to the side as she darts towards her destination and sees a horde, at least 30 strong, amble in their direction. Half the Proctors have turned their attention to the dead while the other half continue to fire towards the running couple. Alicia ducks behind the cabin she was originally in and turns towards Elyza.

“Well, we’re back where we started. Is this your amazing plan? Die where we shared our first kiss? The poetry isn’t lost on me, love, but I was hoping your big brain had come up with something a little less sentimental,” Elyza quips.

Alicia narrows her eyes at the Aussie before gesturing behind them. “You can swim, right?”

“Of course I can, love. Wait. No. No bloody way,” Elyza cringes and pulls Alicia to a stop.

“Come on! There’s no time,” Alicia urges. She grabs Elyza’s hand and sprints towards the edge of the cliff. Just as she’s about to hurl herself off, Alicia is suddenly skidded to a stop. She looks back at her anchor to see Elyza standing wide-eyed before her.

“Elyza! Let’s go!” Alicia yells as she sees several dead approaching. She raises her pistol and drops three of the infected with her last few bullets. “We don’t have time. Come on!”

Alicia takes another step towards the edge and finally feels Elyza step up with her. “Okay, on three,” Alicia nods, her voice far more confident than her body. “One, two, thr-”

Before they can leap, Alicia feels the unstable ground beneath them give way. She tumbles down the steep edge, her body sliding down with falling stone and earth, banging against every jagged root and every sharp rock. She gasps as her back comes in hard contact with a ledge, the wind knocked clean out of her. She doesn’t even have time to process the fact that Elyza landed inches from her when she looks up to see several corpses careening towards them. Alicia rolls on top of Elyza, grabbing her companion by the jacket, and using the momentum she just gained, sends the pair flailing off the last edge of the cliff just before the dead crush them.

The water is cold and if she weren’t scrambling for air, the sensation would be most welcome in the desert heat.

Kick. Pull. Kick. Pull.

Alicia internally curses the world for the damn full circle she’s seemed to come. As her head breaks the surface of the water, she gasps for the much-needed air. She spares not a moment to breathe before she’s searching the raging current for her companion. She exclaims as she clearly sees red hair floating not a few feet to her left. With all the strength she can muster, Alicia kicks towards the Aussie, breathing a sigh of relief when she finds her conscious and holding herself afloat.

They cling to each other as the current takes them farther and farther downstream, putting distance between them and their captors. After what seems like hours, but in reality is probably only minutes, Alicia feels the pull of the current lessen. She grabs a hold of Elyza’s jacket collar and pulls her towards the shore, kicking with all she has left.

Alicia pants into the wet mud, as her body finally rests on solid ground. She uses her last bit of strength to pull herself fully from the cold water before completely collapsing into the dirt. Alicia can hear Elyza breathe heavily next to her, and she blindly reaches her hand out. She sighs in relief as she feels familiar fingers curl with her own.

“Great plan, love,” Elyza manages to snark between gasps.

“We’re alive, aren’t we?” Alicia retorts.

“We are,” Elyza nods closing her eyes.

Alicia follows suit and both women take a moment to rest their battered bodies. When Alicia finally opens her eyes, she allows herself to take stock in the woman lying next to her. For the first time that night, Alicia examines that face she thought she’d never see again, and she fights to hold back tears as she notices all the bruises and scrapes that currently adorn the redhead’s face.

Elyza’s left eye is nearly swollen shut, sporting what is sure to be quite the shiner and has a decent gash bisecting her right eyebrow. Her lip is sliced open, and Alicia wonders for a moment how she didn’t taste blood when she kissed her earlier. Without any self-control, Alicia removes her hand from Elyza’s and begins to gently caress her companion’s face, trailing soft touches over every injury. She only pauses when she sees her familiar blue eyes flutter open.

“S’okay,” Elyza mumbles. “I’ve had worse.”

“Elyza,” Alicia begins to chastise.

“I’m fine, love. Nothing a few kisses couldn’t heal.”

Alicia can feel her cheeks redden instantly, but she doesn’t pull away. Instead, she smiles and rolls over on her back. Once settled, she pulls Elyza close and wraps her arms protectively around her.

“My family was never in Tombstone. Sol sold us out,” she laments, rambling into red hair. She takes a deep breath before recalling the memory. “He told me he was going to kill you. He was going to make me watch.”

“I know,” Elyza simply nods.

“I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you,” Alicia admits. “I should have listened. You were right. You’re always right.”

At that, Elyza props herself up on one elbow and looks into Alicia’s eyes. She brings her free hand to Alicia’s cheek and gently pushes a few stray strands of wet hair behind her ear. “I’m not, love. I should have never left you. Stupidest bloody thing I’ve ever done in my life.”

“I told you to leave,” Alicia chuckles as she draws random patterns on Elyza’s back.

“Like I always listen to you,” Elyza teases. Alicia can feel the redhead’s chuckle die against her chest. She hears her companion take a deep breath, “I don’t want to leave you again.”

Alicia’s response is interrupted by the lone howl of a coyote. She cranes her neck towards the sound, her body involuntarily tensing, her arms gripping Elyza tighter. The howl is short and ends just as quickly as it began, but before Alicia settles into a false sense of security, the howl picks up again. Louder. It echoes through the ravine and intensifies as more voices join in.

Alicia sits up with a jerk, pulling Elyza with her. “I think that’s our cue to leave.”

“Deadset.”

Alicia hefts herself up and offers her hand to Elyza. The Aussie winces as she’s pulled up causing Alicia to scan her body with worry.

“Adrenaline’s all used up. Turns out falling off a cliff into a raging river isn’t the best way to help a healing shoulder wound,” Elyza jokes with a grimace. Alicia’s half chuckle breaks off into the wind, as the coyote howls grow closer once again. She scans the tree line but can’t make out much in the darkness. Alicia unsheathes her golok regardless before turning towards Elyza.

“Up or downstream?”

“Upstream. This river crosses Highway 90 a bit south of here. Should be able to find a vehicle there,” Elyza points along the river. “Hopefully the current didn’t take us too far north.”

“How do you know that?” Alicia marvels as they begin their trek south.

“Couldn’t sleep much last night. I spent most of the time studying a map of Arizona, just in case your family wasn’t in Tombstone. So we’d have some idea of where to go next,” Elyza shrugs.

Her words make Alicia pause in her tracks. The enormity of that simple precaution drops like a brick in her chest, and Alicia can feel her mind finally catch up to her heart. In that moment, Elyza turns; realizing Alicia’s not walking next to her any longer. She takes a few steps back, worry written all over her face. “What is it, love? Are you alright?”

“I’m fine. It’s nothing,” Alicia lies. She quickly intertwines her left hand with Elyza’s right and pulls her companion forward. “Let’s just keep going.”

\-- 

Keeping to the riverbank, the pair walks quietly upstream. The journey is slow as Elyza’s wounds affect her more than she lets on, but Alicia doesn’t say anything, content to let the stubborn woman maintain her dignity. The moon is high in the sky when Alicia’s eyes fall on the tiny building in the distance. She lets out a breathy chuckle as she reads the sign.

“Only you and I would stumble across a bookstore in the middle of a nature preserve,” Alicia smirks, pointing to the old house in the near distance.

“You’re kidding!” Elyza nearly squeals with delight.

“I’m not. Look,” Alicia points again.

“San Pedro House Books & Gifts,” Elyza reads from the sign. “Bloody hell, the universe truly loves me today.”

“I’m not sure I’d say that. You were kidnapped, beat up, tied up, shot at, thrown off a cliff, and dragged down a river today.”

“All trivial things, love. You’re forgetting that a gorgeous woman kissed me. Twice. Held me in her arms on a riverbank, and now we’re standing in front of the most unique little bookshop I’ve ever seen in my life.”

Alicia feels her cheeks redden and is grateful she’s standing in the relative darkness, only illuminated by the soft glow of the moon. She doesn’t respond to Elyza’s statement, unable to fully compose herself enough to speak, so she just offers a smile instead and makes her way to the front door of the bookshop.

The door hangs precariously on a single hinge, and Alicia has to lift the entire thing to the side in order to enter. The building seems to be one large room with maybe a storage area in the back. She squints into the darkness, her eyes scanning for any sign of movement, but finds none.

“Stay here. I just need to make sure the building is clear,” Alicia commands, holding Elyza’s gaze. The redhead looks like she’s going to argue, but Alicia is pleasantly surprised when she just gets a quick nod instead.

Alicia takes a step inside and using the pommel of her machete, bangs against the wall loudly. She waits for a minute but doesn’t hear a sound. Maybe Elyza was right again. Maybe the universe loves them today. She makes her way back outside to her patiently waiting companion.

“Guess no one’s home. Shall we?” Alicia motions to the door. Elyza grins as she practically bounds past her and into the shop. The woman is like a kid in a candy store, running her fingers gently along the bookshelves, touching the spines in an almost reverent way.

“You’d think you literally weren’t just trapped in a library full of books for two weeks,” Alicia deadpans.

“This is fascinating,” Elyza responds, the smile on her face contagious. “Look at the titles that they’ve chosen to display here. Little shops like this are so interesting. You really get an idea as to who these people were. What was important to them. It’s like a snapshot into their lives. Gotta remember the little things, yeah?”

Alicia smiles but leaves the Aussie to gush by herself for a moment. She busies herself with doing her best to barricade the front door and windows before making her way to the back storage room. Alicia finds one door to the outside and lets out a sigh of relief when she finds the deadbolt still working. She locks the door and pulls a heavy desk in front of it before pilfering through the storage boxes.

Hands full of trail mix, jerky, and a few bottles of water, Alicia makes her way back into the main room to find Elyza hunched over her signature firepit. “Check it out, didn’t have to burn any books this time. Trail guides only!” Elyza grins as the flames illuminate her face.

“Found some food.” Alicia empties her hands unceremoniously before sitting down next to Elyza. She doesn’t even bother to keep the usual distance between their bodies, allowing her thigh to rest comfortably against the redhead’s. They eat and drink in silence, but Alicia can feel the elephant in the room dance awkwardly in the corner. It’s Elyza who breaks first.

“About that kiss,” she offers quietly. “Are we going to talk about it?”

“I don’t know what to say,” Alicia answers truthfully. She doesn’t know what to say. Every time she’s left the woman next to her, she felt her heart break. The thought of her death spurred her to escape from that cabin, and when she saw her again, every emotion just boiled to the surface.

“So it was a mistake then, yeah? Heat of the moment, grateful that I wasn’t dead sort of thing? I get it. It’s okay,” Elyza says flatly, misinterpreting Alicia’s silence for ambivalence. When Alicia spares a glance upwards, and she sees the gut-wrenching devastation written behind those blue eyes that she’s come to love, well, that’s when Alicia finally breaks.

“That’s not it at all, can’t you see? This world is so messed up, and you keep saying that you don’t travel with people, so I tried my hardest to not get attached, knowing that you’d leave me. And you did. Twice. But I’m done denying it. Surviving was killing me. But with you, I feel alive. You make me feel alive. And I get it if you don’t feel the same, if you don’t want to take this any further than it’s already gone. I really do. But please don’t think it was just some heat of the moment impulse. I like you, Elyza. And even in this stupid world, I could fall for you. I want to fall, and I want you to catch me. But just…” Alicia chews her lip nervously, trying to find the right words. “Just tell me right now if you’re planning on leaving again. I’m not sure I can deal with that heartbreak.”

“Varför tog det så länge att säga det till mej? Jag kommer aldrig att göra dej illa. Din hjärta är min. Jag älskar dig,” Elyza mutters with a soft smile. She reaches her hand up and tangles her fingers in Alicia’s hair before bringing their lips together. The kiss is not rushed this time. They take their time, and Alicia revels in the way Elyza’s mouth moves gently against her own. She lets out a soft sigh, as she breaks apart only long enough to change the angle.

When breathing becomes an issue, Alicia finally pulls back but keeps her forehead pressed to Elyza’s. “You know,” Alicia mumbles against her smile. “One of these days you’re going to have to translate all your love confessions for me.”

“How do you know they’re confessions of love?” Elyza hums as she places a kiss to each corner of Alicia’s mouth.

“Because you have this wall built up, and you’re terrified of actually caring about someone, but you do care. And you want me to know, but at the same time, you don’t. So if you say it in Swedish, knowing I won’t understand. It makes it less real. It’s safer.”

Elyza pulls back and stares into her eyes. Alicia can see the conflict of emotion dance across her face and the tears that are forming, and it’s right then, in that moment, that she decides to confess one more thing.

“And I may have found a ‘Useful Phrases in Swedish’ book at the library,” Alicia admits. Elyza looks at her wide-eyed, and before the redhead can blurt out whatever explanation that was on the tip of her tongue, Alicia holds up a finger to her mouth, silencing her.

“Jag älskar dig också, Elyza,” Alicia breathes. She lets out a stuttered exhale at her confession, but is rewarded with a fiery kiss that she wholeheartedly reciprocates. The kiss rapidly turns heated, and in one fluid motion, Alicia shrugs off her leather jacket and climbs onto Elyza’s lap, straddling the woman.

Alicia shivers as warm hands sneak under the fabric of her shirt and caress the smooth skin of her back. Without much thought, Alicia gently pushes the leather jacket off Elyza’s shoulders and lifts the vintage band shirt over her head. Taking it as the permission it was intended to be, Elyza unbuttons Alicia’s shirt with surprising speed and grace. She rids her of the flannel and tosses Alicia’s tank top to the side.

When her newly exposed skin presses up against Elyza’s, Alicia can’t help the sudden surge of desire. She presses in ever closer, wrapping her arms fiercely around Elyza’s neck and pulls the Aussie’s bottom lip into her mouth greedily. The redhead suddenly winces, and Alicia snaps back at the taste of blood on her tongue.

“Shit, I’m sorry,” Alicia cries as she buries her face in Elyza’s shoulder. “I wasn’t thinking. Your lip, god, your whole face. I’m sorry. I… You must be in so much pain.”

Elyza chuckles as she strokes Alicia’s hair. She nudges her back so she can look into her eyes. “Alicia, love, it’s so bloody worth it.”

The sincerity of Elyza’s voice and the softness filling her eyes sends Alicia reeling. She leans back in, capturing Elyza’s lips with just as much passion, but perhaps a little less aggression as before. It’s not long until Alicia’s wandering hands find the clasp in the middle of Elyza’s back. She hesitates a moment, but when she feels the tiniest of nods, she releases the catch and slides the garment off the Aussie’s shoulders. Alicia feels trembling fingers reach for her own bra.

“Are you sure, love?” she feels Elyza’s hesitant question more than hears it. She nods quickly and smiles as the band springs free.

\-- 

Alicia’s slept with a couple of people in her short life, once with someone she loved, a few times with someone she didn’t. But something about this time is different. It’s more passionate in every sense of the word, physically and emotionally. Maybe it’s because they’re in the middle of a life or death situation, or maybe this is just what falling in love feels like in a post-apocalyptic world.

Whatever the case may be, Alicia smiles, warm, sated, and content, curled up next the tantalizingly naked woman lying next to her. She hums as Elyza draws nondescript patterns over her arm.

“So what other phrases do you know?” Elyza ponders sleepily before placing a simple kiss to the top of Alicia’s head. Alicia takes Elyza’s free hand in her own and casually plays with her fingers as she scrunches her eyes in thought.

“Ja. Nej. Förlåt. Snälla. Tack. Grattis. Jag vet inte,” Alicia rattles off from memory. She pauses, taking a moment to smile at nothing in particular. “Kyss mig,” she breathes into the air.

Elyza smirks and rolls herself on top of Alicia. The sudden skin-to-skin contact awakens every sense in Alicia’s body, and she gasps at the arousal pooling in her belly once again. “That’s a very useful phrase indeed,” Elyza grins before obliging Alicia’s request.


	9. Here Right Now

The soundtrack of the fire crackling and night birds calling fades as the sunrise stirs Alicia from sleep. She begins to sit up but is trapped by the weight across her stomach. She looks down to see Elyza’s naked body half sprawled across her own, her head nuzzled just below her breasts, and Elyza’s right leg hooked securely over hers. Elyza’s right arm rests gently over Alicia’s torso, and she can’t help but laugh internally at the sight. This woman, this strong, stubborn woman, looks so small and soft cuddled against her.

Alicia runs her fingers through Elyza’s hair, gently rousing her from sleep. “Elyza, wake up.”

She feels a grumble against her stomach as Elyza’s arm tightens around her middle. “No, it’s too early. Sleep more, love.”

“We should get dressed,” Alicia chuckles. The sun peeks through the windows illuminating Elyza’s hair in a fiery glow as she finally props herself up next to Alicia. The redhead gives her that smirk and begins to drag her fingers up and down Alicia’s stomach. Each press of her fingernails causes a shudder that shakes Alicia’s whole body.

“I’m pretty sure you should never wear clothes ever again, love,” Elyza murmurs, her voice dripping with suggestion. She continues trailing her nails over Alicia’s skin, her hand getting lower and lower.

“As appealing as that sounds,” Alicia stutters, trying to maintain her composure as Elyza’s ministrations work her up at an embarrassingly quick pace. “I’m pretty sure you’d get awfully jealous when other people stared.”

Elyza’s hand freezes as she contemplates Alicia’s words. She nods with an oh-so-serious look on her face. “Well spotted. You’re onto something there. Clothes in public,” Elyza declares. She smirks and then continues her finger’s exploration, never quite reaching the destination Alicia longs for her to be. “But I’m instating a strict no clothes policy when we’re alone.”

“Deal,” Alicia agrees, taking in a trembled sigh. “As long as this policy extends to yourself as well.”

Elyza pauses once again and looks Alicia directly in the eye. “That could be an amendment to the decree. Have your people get back with my people. They’ll see to it that it’s added,” she concludes seriously. Elyza winks and gives Alicia that devilish smirk before rolling on top of her. “In the meantime…” Elyza kisses her deeply, all teeth and tongue, and Alicia finally feels her hand wander down to where she needs her the most.

\-- 

“This bloody bike is cactus!” Elyza groans.

“What?”

“I can’t get it to start. Bloody thing is useless, love,” Elyza pouts, kicking the front wheel of the abandoned motorcycle.

“So… While you were tinkering away at that bike, I found another one,” Alicia states cautiously. She grabs the rag resting on the broken bike’s seat and wipes away a grease streak from Elyza’s face. “Key was still in the ignition, and I was able to get it started.”

“You did? Well, why didn’t you say so, love? Chop chop, let’s get a move on,” Elyza claps her hands and gestures for her to lead the way. Alicia doesn’t move from where she stands and pulls her bottom lip between her teeth nervously. “What? What is it?” Elyza questions, her hands coming to rest on Alicia’s upper arms.

Alicia sets her jaw and gives herself a nod of determination before leading Elyza through the abandoned cars. She stops in front of a large cargo van and gestures behind it.

“Not a bloody chance in hell, love,” Elyza says firmly, shaking her head with a grimace.

“Come on,” Alicia argues. “It works. It has gas.”

“You must be mad if you think I’m driving that thing.”

“You don’t have to drive. I can drive,” Alicia smiles. She walks over to the Can-Am Spyder and straddles the seat. She grips the handlebars with one hand and pats the seat behind her. “Besides, who are you worried about impressing? You already got the girl.”

“Woman,” Elyza corrects as she strides towards Alicia. She stops right in front of her and leans down to whisper in Alicia’s ear. “I got the woman.” Elyza smiles and presses a chaste kiss to Alicia’s lips. Alicia squeals into her mouth when she feels strong hands grip her waist and slide her backwards to the rear seat.

Elyza breaks the kiss before mounting the Spyder. “This won’t be near as fun to drive as my baby, but at least I still have you straddling me. Hang on tight, love.”

\-- 

“What do you think?” Elyza asks over her shoulder. She kills the engine of the Spyder and turns to look at Alicia as she responds.

“It’s not a bookshop or a library,” Alicia says slowly. The two-hour ride through the woods has led them to the peak of a small mountain with several modest buildings lining the overgrown dirt road.

“Best I can do, love. A research center should still have books in it, if that’s what you’re worried about,” Elyza smiles. She dismounts the Spyder and offers her hand to Alicia.

“There are a lot of cabins,” Alicia comments with a small tilt of her head.

“I know. There’s still a fair amount of daylight left. We should be able to check them all out before it gets dark.”

“Okay,” Alicia states. She swings her leg over the seat and unsheathes her golok. “Together or should we split up?”

“Split up, but if you hear more than a few inside, call for me. Best be together in that situation,” Elyza says. She leans in and gives Alicia a quick kiss on the lips before walking away. Alicia watches the redhead stride towards the cabin to the left and smiles affectionately as she sees her pull her twin blades from her lower back with a little twirl.

Taking a deep breath to bring her back to the present, Alicia approaches the nearest cabin, taking two steps at a time until she reaches the door. She presses her ear close to the thick oak and waits a few moments. She can hear a shuffle on the wooden floor and the drag of a couple pairs of feet. Shouldn’t be too much for her to handle.

She pushes the door open and takes a sure-footed step inside. The sun streams in through the large windows, illuminating the two dead ambling towards her. Alicia takes a few quick, steady strides, plants her feet in a wide stance and swings the golok across her body, slicing cleanly through the first infected’s skull. Changing the angle of her wrist and using the same fluid motion, Alicia swings the golok back to the right. The thud of the decapitated head bouncing on the floor echoes in the small building as Alicia walks calmly over to it, impaling the ever-nipping skull with the point of her machete.

She can still hear the groan of the dead as she rips the blade from the skull. Confused, she squats down and inspects the severed head. It’s definitely dead. Alicia looks up just in time to see another infected growling towards her, it’s snapping jaw inches from her face. She scrambles backwards and curses as her body comes in contact with something solid and heavy.

The bookshelf tilts dangerously backwards, and Alicia fights to keep her balance. She falls with the piece of furniture as the corpse stumbles after. Alicia raises her golok, impaling the infected through the bottom of its chin as they tumble back, grimacing when she hears the earth-shaking shatter of glass breaking.

Groaning, Alicia pulls her weapon from the now dead corpse and strains as she pushes its lifeless body off of her. Just as she is awkwardly rolling off the fallen bookcase, Alicia hears the heavy thud of footsteps running on wood. She whips her head to the doorway as a flash of red comes barreling in.

“Alicia! Love, are you okay?” Elyza gasps, sheathing her blades after giving the room a quick once over. She races to Alicia’s side and pulls her up, her eyes scanning her body, her hands trailing along after, searching for any signs of injury.

“I’m fine,” Alicia states calmly. Her words don’t seem to sink in as Elyza continues to search her for wounds. “Elyza,” Alicia says, grabbing her companion’s hands, forcing her to look at her face. “I’m fine. I promise,” Alicia repeats.

Elyza’s face finally calms and the sigh of relief that follows is big enough to move her whole body. “Bloody hell, love, are you sure you’re okay? No bites?”

“No bites,” Alicia promises. She brings Elyza’s hands, still in her own, to her face and lets the woman caress her cheeks. “Thanks for running to my rescue, even though I didn’t need it.”

“Hey, love,” Elyza tsks, dropping her hands and crossing them over her chest in fake annoyance. “That’s no way to treat your knight in shining armor.”

“Knight in shining armor? Please,” Alicia playfully scoffs with a wave of her hand. “You’ve saved my life once. Maybe twice.”

“Five times, but who’s counting?” Elyza smirks. Alicia knows they’re just teasing each other, but the way Elyza raises that damn eyebrow and gives her that ‘what-are-you-going-to-do-about-it’ little tilt of her head has Alicia reeling.

“Five times? No way!” she argues with a firm shake of her head. “You haven’t saved me five times.”

“The dam, the western wear/convenience shop, Proctors outside the bookshop, when you went all knight in shining armor yourself for Chunderhead, and I got you out of that cabin last night,” Elyza counts on her fingers smugly.

“Okay, first, I’m pretty sure I saved you after getting shot and stabbed outside the bookshop, and secondly, I got myself out of the cabin. I was already going for the door when you just barged in,” Alicia counters stepping closer to Elyza, intentionally invading her personal space.

Elyza’s breath hitches at the proximity. “Fine,” she breathes. “Three times then.” Elyza slides her arms around Alicia’s waist and pulls her ever closer.

“Three times,” Alicia agrees as she wraps her arms around Elyza’s neck. She plays with the short soft little hairs behind her head. “We’re even.”

Elyza pulls back suddenly without breaking her hold, but before she can retort, Alicia begins, “Outside the bookshop, meds for your infection, getting us into the river before the dead rained down on us.”

Alicia can feel the redhead’s need to argue as the fingers gripping her waist flex and tighten. She presses a finger to Elyza’s lips, silencing her before she even speaks, “Let’s just agree that we’ve saved each other more than once, seal it with a kiss, and finish clearing out these cabins before dark.”

“There’s a plan I can get on board with,” Elyza winks, running her tongue along her bottom lip. They both close the distance between them and end their playful fight on a very pleasant note.

The pair clears out the remaining four cabins quickly. The process is far less exciting than the first cabin, but Elyza remains insistent that they do it together. If it gives her companion peace of mind, Alicia is more than happy to oblige.

\-- 

Sitting in front of the final building, blades and bodies dripping with rotting blood, Alicia glances over to Elyza. Her Aussie rests back on her hands, her eyes closed, a small smile on her face as she drinks in the soft orange glow of the setting sun.

“I can’t believe we cleared everything before dark,” Alicia mumbles as she mirrors Elyza’s body position.

“I had powerful motivation,” Elyza muses without opening her eyes.

“Oh, and what might that be?”

With her eyes still closed, Alicia doesn’t see Elyza shift towards her, so when the response comes much closer than anticipated, Alicia’s eyes spring open. She’s met with deep blue eyes, darker than she’s ever seen and a coy little smile that she just wants to wipe off with a bruising kiss. “Finding a safe place for the night so I can feel you beneath me again.”

Alicia takes a sharp inhale and uses considerable strength to lean back, putting a few much-needed inches between them. “Whoa, there stud,” Alicia grins, placing a hand on Elyza’s chest. “Let’s get cleaned up first, raid that pantry back there, and then I’ll clean and redress your wounds. And don’t even argue. We haven’t cleaned it since you were in the river. We’re in the middle of nowhere, and I highly doubt we’d be able to find antibiotics if you were to get an infection again.”

“Alicia, love, I’m fine,” Elyza huffs, sitting back with an actually pretty cute face of rejection.

“I know you are, and I’d like to keep you that way,” Alicia soothes. She nearly chuckles out loud at the sight of her companion sitting next to her, blood-splattered, arms crossed, brooding over not getting her way. Alicia rolls her eyes and tucks an errant strand of red hair behind her ear. “After I clean you up, you can have me any way you want me.”

Those words have an effect on Elyza. The redhead springs up to her feet, grabbing Alicia’s hands in the process, and pulls her up. She begins to lead them into the research center, a huge grin on her face.

“I swear,” Alicia laughs. “You’re worse than a teenage boy.”

Elyza pauses for a moment and turns to face her. “It’s not every day you find the woman of your dreams in the middle of an apocalypse,” she says with considerable candor. “Tomorrow is less of a guarantee than it ever was. Gotta live life while we can.”

Alicia doesn’t have time to fully process the words before Elyza is grinning and winking at her again. She feels her body being pulled farther into the building, and honestly, she’s more than happy to follow this woman wherever she wants to take her.

\-- 

Alicia wakes slowly, arms and legs stretching out on the bed. She groans in pleasure at the feeling. The cool breeze of the mountain air ghosts over her bare skin, and Alicia blindly reaches down for the blanket pulling it over her naked body. She rolls over to the side, her hand reaching out for Elyza, wanting nothing more than to feel her warm body pressed up against her own.

Her eyes fly open when she’s met with nothing but cold sheets. Alicia sits up in bed, her sleepy eyes having trouble focusing on the room. Even in the haze of the morning, Alicia can clearly see her companion is gone. Her clothes aren’t hanging over the chairs drying; her weapons aren’t stacked on the desk in the corner. Alicia can’t help the sudden surge of panic set in, but she takes a deep breath, forcing herself to remain calm.

“Elyza?”

She waits to hear a response that doesn’t come. She swings her legs over the side of the bed and dresses quickly in her now clean and dry clothes. She pulls on her boots and moves to grab her balisong off the desk. When she reaches the small table in the corner, Alicia finds her butterfly knife open, pinning a piece of paper to the desk.

 

_Alicia,_

_You looked so beautiful in sleep; I couldn’t bear to wake you. I found a map. There’s a town not a half hour away. I’ve gone to scavenge a bit. I hope to make it back before you wake, but in case I don’t, please don’t worry. I’ll be fine and back in your arms before you know it._

_Jag älskar dig,  
_ _Elyza_

_P.S. If you’ve already gotten dressed, I’d appreciate it greatly if you undid all that hard work. I’d love nothing more than to come back and find you naked and waiting for me._

 

Alicia lets out a huff of laughter as she reads the last line of the note. She really has fallen for this moron. This strong, stubborn, charming, beautiful moron.

Alicia pulls the knife from the desk and is in the middle of flipping it closed when she hears the floorboards creak behind her. She spins, blade at the ready, to find Elyza standing in the doorway, her arms up in the air.

“You can put the knife down, love, I’ve had enough weapons pulled on me this morning,” Elyza deadpans. Alicia ignores the statement completely and rushes to her companion. She throws her arms around the redhead as her body crashes into hers. Elyza takes a steadying step backwards but returns the embrace with just as much enthusiasm.

“Miss me, love?” Elyza whispers into Alicia’s ear.

“I almost panicked when I woke up and you weren’t here,” Alicia admits quietly. “Took me a minute to find the note, which was very sweet by the way, except the end. That was less sweet.”

“I’m sorry, love. I didn’t mean to worry you. I woke early and saw you sleeping so soundly. I just figured I’d do something productive. Save us some time, so we can do less productive things,” Elyza states as she drags her fingernails gently up and down Alicia’s back.

“Less productive things?” Alicia hums into her neck, reveling in the feeling of being held close by this woman.

“You know, watch the sun make its way across the sky, listen to the wind rustling the trees, stare longingly into the vast ocean of each other’s eyes. All without clothes, of course,” Elyza states emphatically.

“Oh, of course,” Alicia agrees as she pulls back to grin at the woman in front of her.

“I’d really like to kiss you senseless right now, love,” Elyza whispers with a suggestive smirk. She doesn’t wait for Alicia to respond and leans forward, pulling Alicia’s bottom lip between her own. Alicia moans as warm, strong, hands lift her tank top over her head, and she is slowly walked back towards the bed.

\-- 

Alicia trails soft gentle kisses along pale skin as she makes her way back up the bed. Elyza’s chest heaves as she comes down from her high, and Alicia smirks to herself, more than pleased, that she caused this woman to become so undone. She places a final kiss to her shoulder before resting her head there, her hand drawing randomly on Elyza’s stomach, careful to avoid the healing knife wound and new bruise blossoming on the right side of her ribcage.

“You should probably stop getting injured on your right side. Bullet wound, knife wound, blow to the ribs. The whole right side of your body is going to fall off,” Alicia says softly as she nuzzles into Elyza’s left side. The redhead wraps her arm around her and sighs contentedly.

“Well then it’s a bloody damn good thing I’m left-handed,” she jokes.

Alicia hums in response and gently runs her fingers over Elyza’s face. “Your eye looks better today. Not nearly as swollen.”

“I’m alright, love,” Elyza soothes with a somewhat exasperated tone. Alicia easily picks up on the Aussie’s desire to change subjects, and she has to agree. There are much better pillow-talk topics than your lover’s injuries.

“So what did you mean earlier about having enough weapons pulled on you this morning?” Alicia asks suddenly remembering Elyza’s words from earlier.

“Oh, that’s nothing to worry about,” she dismisses with a wave of her hand. Alicia leans up on her elbow and sees the twinkle in Elyza’s eye, a clear indication that there is much more to the story.

“Elyza,” she goads.

“I didn’t do anything I wasn’t supposed to, love. I promise,” Elyza rattles off. She takes Alicia’s left hand in her right and just holds it against her chest, randomly caressing it with her thumb. “I just happened to walk into a shop that was less than abandoned.”

“Less than abandoned? What does that even mean?” Alicia groans in exasperation.

“I was just looking around, minding my own business, searching for food, water, guns, the usual, when I hear this creak coming from behind me. Naturally, I draw one of my knives and turn around, ready to attack, yeah? And this tall bloke is standing there pointing a rifle at me, so I say to him, ‘Oy, mate, there are other ways to impress a girl than pulling your piece out on her.’”

“Of course you did,” Alicia deadpans.

“Deadset,” Elyza states, not even breaking her train of thought for a second. “And the bloke just looks at me and drawls out this bloody lame excuse about how he wouldn’t need to resort to such tactics to seduce me. Cocky ass. So I’m about to say something back when I feel someone press a pistol into my back, and then I hear this woman tell me it’s best not to say another word.”

“Elyza,” Alicia grumbles, burying her head in her shoulder again.

“I know when I’m outgunned, love. I raised my hands in surrender, and she took my knife. She comes around my front, yeah, keeping her pistol at me,” Elyza continues. The further she gets into her recount of the morning, the more animated her voice becomes. “She calls over my shoulder to someone else asking if they found anyone else in the shop. And I’m all ‘Bloody hell, mate, how many of you are there?’”

“Jesus, Elyza. Do you even know how to keep your mouth shut?” Alicia interrupts.

“Relax, love, I could tell they didn’t really want to hurt me. I’m good at reading people,” Elyza soothes and places a swift kiss to Alicia’s forehead. “Anyway, so she just stands there looking over my shoulder at whoever is now behind me, and I’d assume that person is shaking their head because obviously, there was no one else with me. Then she’s all, ‘Look, we don’t want any trouble here. So how about I just give you back your knife, and you go back to where you came from,’” Elyza says with her horrible southern accent.

“Is that what the woman sounded like?” Alicia chuckles, unable to contain her laughter with the energetic way Elyza is talking. “You should really work on your twang.”

“Do you want to hear the rest of the story or not?” Elyza scolds, her voice playfully stern.

“Fine. I apologize,” Alicia says bringing Elyza’s hand to her lips and pressing a kiss to her knuckles. “Please continue.”

“Right,” Elyza smiles. “As I said, I know when I’m outgunned, and even if they weren’t hostile, best not risk it, yeah? So I shrug and walk over to her, hold out my hand, and wait for her to give me my knife. And I swear, Alicia, this woman gives me the most impressive mom-glare I’ve ever received in my life. If I were a lesser woman, I would have quivered in my boots. I feel sorry for her children.”

The grin on her face is contagious, and Alicia chuckles as she waits patiently for Elyza to continue, hanging on every word.

“Anyway, as I take my knife from her, I give her my wink and smirk,” Elyza pauses and demonstrates said wink and smirk as if Alicia would forget those facial expressions she finds so devastating. “And I tell her ‘It may be controversial in some circles, but I find that if you want to properly threaten someone, best do it without the safety on.’ And then I reach over and flip the safety for her.”

“Elyza!” Alicia pulls her hand from Elyza’s grasp and full on punches the naked woman on her uninjured shoulder. Elyza’s mouth really is going to get her killed one of these days.

“Ow, bloody hell, love! It was funny!” Elyza defends rubbing her shoulder. She pouts, and Alicia doesn’t have it in herself at the moment to stay angry. Elyza obviously read the situation correctly as she is here, safe, in their bed, so Alicia rolls her eyes and places a quick peck to Elyza’s shoulder before adding another lingering kiss to her lips.

“Behave yourself, love,” Elyza purrs. “I’m almost finished with my story.”

Elyza grins as she opens her mouth to finish her tale, and Alicia can feel the redhead strain to contain her laughter as she continues. “Anyway, as I was leaving, I heard this other bloke start laughing. Wasn’t the tall man I first saw either. And the woman just scoffs which makes the tall bloke start chuckling, and she’s defending herself saying she knew the safety was on the whole time, which only makes the tall bloke laugh harder and then she’s all ‘shut up, I should have left you in the water.’”

Alicia’s laughter dies in her throat. “What?” she startles. Her throat runs dry and her heart races as she sits up fully and stares down at Elyza.

“It turned out fine, love.” Elyza runs her hands up Alicia’s arm, trying to soothe her, unaware of the true cause of Alicia’s sudden tension. “We all had a laugh. The little things, yeah?”

“No. What did she say to him?” Alicia bites back, shaking her head.

“Who? The woman? She said she should have left him in the water. What is it, love?” Elyza now sits up, looking deep into Alicia’s eyes.

“What did she look like?” Alicia demands breathily.

“Blonde hair just a little longer than yours is now, couple inches taller than me, mid-40s if I were to guess. Alicia, what?” Elyza shakes her head. Alicia can feel the adrenaline begin its journey through her veins, and she knows her body is practically shaking with tension.

“What are you on about?” Elyza perplexes. Alicia doesn’t reply, and she doesn’t need to. It only takes a moment before realization breaks across the redhead’s face, and she’s muttering a simple, “Oh…”


	10. What a Life

“We have to go now,” Alicia commands as she climbs out of bed. She throws on her clothes as quickly as the questions stumbling from her mouth. “Where is this town? Is it far? How long have you been back? Do you think they’re still there?”

“Alicia, love, calm down,” Elyza states slowly, grabbing for Alicia’s hands. When Alicia looks up she’s startled to see that Elyza is fully dressed with her knives already sheathed and ready.

“I can’t calm down. Elyza, that’s my family,” Alicia argues, her face firm, but she allows Elyza to maintain her grasp on her hands.

She can feel the pure panic set in. The thought that she is so close to reuniting with her family combined with the very real possibility that they could have slipped from her grasp in the hour she was in bed with Elyza weighs heavily in her chest. She shakes her head and spits out, “That woman is my mother. I know it’s her. We’re so close.”

“Okay, love, okay,” Elyza concedes. She reaches over to the chair and hands Alicia a canvas backpack. “Here, I grabbed this from one of the cabins we cleared. Pack up the provisions we found. I’ll do a quick sweep of the other cabins, grab what we need. We’ll be out of here in ten minutes.”

Alicia spares a moment in her panic to give a small smile and a quick nod to her companion, eternally grateful that Elyza is helping. Elyza returns the gesture with a smirk of her own before turning towards the door. Alicia feels her heart plummet to the depths of her chest as memories of a similar situation flood her mind. She can’t watch Elyza walk away from her. Not this time. Not again.

Alicia lunges towards the retreating redhead and grabs her arm, spinning her around in the process. She pulls the woman close and wraps her in a firm embrace. “Elyza, please don’t leave me,” Alicia begs into her shoulder. “If we find them, please stay.”

“It’s alright, love,” Elyza soothes as she runs her fingers through Alicia’s hair. “I’ll give this people thing a go. For you.”

Alicia pulls back and places a single chaste kiss on Elyza’s pink lips before muttering a sincere thank you. Elyza just smirks and turns back towards the door. She disappears through the threshold in a flash, and Alicia is left standing like a fool in the middle of the room. She takes a moment to rid herself of the depressing thought of Elyza leaving her for good again before packing up the few supplies in the bedroom.

Alicia makes her way through the research center to the kitchen and begins shoving all the useful dried goods into the pack. She’s just finishing filling the water bottles they found the night before when she hears the floors creak behind her.

“That was fast,” Alicia calls over her shoulder. “Thought it’d take you at least a few more minutes to sort through those cabins.”

Alicia takes a sharp inhale when a witty retort doesn’t come. She can feel eyes burning into the back of her skull and the sensation sends shivers up her spine. She calmly puts the water bottles down on the counter, trying to remain as relaxed as possible, and unclips the safety latch on her machete sheath.

In a single fluid motion, Alicia spins, pulls out her golok and holds it to the throat of the surprised intruder behind her. She grabs the young man’s shirt, holding him tight up against the tip of her blade. His soft brown eyes open wide in fear as he brings his hands up in surrender.

“Who the hell are you?” she demands, her voice low and calm.

“It’s okay,” the man stutters quickly. He remains compliant, showing no indication of violence, but Alicia has been fooled one too many times to lower her guard. “I’m not here to hurt you. I’m a friend.”

“I’ll be the judge of that,” Alicia snarls, pressing the blade a little firmer into his throat, causing a single drop of blood to roll down his neck.

“Put the knife down, Alicia.”

Alicia’s shoulders drop at the voice. She barely processes the sound of the metal blade clanging on the floor before she pushes the man aside to see a familiar face standing not ten feet in front of her.

“Nick?”

Alicia crosses the few feet in a second and has her arms wrapped firmly around her brother’s neck. She squeezes hard, willing her muscles to confirm to her brain that her brother is standing here, alive. He returns the embrace emphatically, and Alicia lets out a stuttered breath.

“I can’t believe you’re here,” Nick mumbles into her hair. He suddenly pulls back. “Your hair. You cut it? I can’t believe you cut it.”

Alicia can’t stop the chuckle before it leaves her throat. “Yeah, I cut it,” she says before taking a step back.

“It looks good on you,” Nick nods. He reaches down to pick up Alicia’s discarded golok and gives it a little twirl. He suddenly freezes his movement when Alicia sees a much smaller blade press against his throat.

“I’d drop that if I were you, mate,” Elyza growls from behind Nick. Nick thankfully drops the golok as soon as the words leave her mouth. He looks up at Alicia with a pleading look on his face.

“Um, Alicia?” He raises his eyebrows and gives just the slightest of tilts of his head towards Elyza.

“Alicia?” Elyza snarls. She spins Nick around, holding his shoulder in a strong grip and pressing the tip of her knife to the soft skin under his chin. “How do you know her name? You planning on selling us out to the Proctors, mate? Going to collect a grand reward? What did they offer you? Hair grease? Unlimited supply of geriatric chic jumpers? You know, mate, the apocalypse is the perfect excuse to change up your personal style.”

Alicia takes a step towards her protective Aussie and places a gentle hand on her arm, urging her to lower her blade. “Elyza, it’s okay.”

Alicia can see the fire in her eyes slowly flicker with confusion, but Alicia keeps her gaze locked on her and gives her a reassuring smile. The redhead reluctantly lowers her knife and gives it an intimidating little twirl before resheathing it behind her back. She releases her iron grip on Nick with a shove and he stumbles back, rubbing soothingly over his neck.

“Elyza, this is my brother, Nick. Nick, this is Elyza, my…” Alicia trails off, unable to put into words what Elyza is to her.

“I’m Loren! Loren Caldwell,” a voice echoes from behind Alicia, and she turns suddenly remembering the other man in the room. “Pleasure to meet you. Your family has told me all about you. Nice to finally put a face to the name,” he smiles as he holds out a hand.

Alicia reciprocates the gesture cautiously, but as he grips her hand, Alicia senses nothing but calmness and likeability radiating off the man. She gives a firm pump before she feels Elyza stand next to her, their shoulders brushing.

“Elyza Lex,” she states holding out her hand for Loren. Alicia can see the man wince slightly as Elyza doubtlessly squeezes unnecessarily hard, displaying some needless show of dominance over the poor guy.

“Nice to meet you both. Madison is going to be thrilled that we found you,” he gushes, looking over at Nick.

“Speaking of, we should probably head out. It’s a two-hour hike back, and we’ve already been gone for a few hours. They’ll start to worry,” Nick adds.

“Wait, who is this guy? You sure we can trust him?” Alicia asks Nick. Though the stranger hasn’t given her any reason to doubt his intentions, Alicia’s been wrong too many times to not be cautious.

“He’s been with us since Mexico,” Nick answers, gesturing towards Loren. “Mom found him. Well, more like she threatened him, but I’ll let her tell you that story. You don’t need to worry. Loren’s a nice guy.”

“Nice is different than good, mate,” Elyza snaps. Alicia can feel Elyza’s apprehension emanating off her, so she reaches down and intertwines their fingers, grounding the redhead.

“Fine, he’s a good guy,” Nick relents. He glances down towards their interlocked hands and smirks but says nothing about it. “I trust him. Mom trusts him enough to send him with me to find you. That should count for something.”

Accepting his answer, for now, Alicia changes topics to finally ask her burning question. “I still can’t believe you’re here. How did you find us?”

“Your friend here,” Nick says. The disbelieving inflection on the word friend isn't lost on Alicia, and she narrows her eyes at her brother. She only halts her glare when she hears Elyza’s startled question.

“What? Me?”

Nick nods. “She walked into this little shop not far from where we’re staying. Totally called out Mom for not being threatening enough. That was hilarious, by the way,” Nick smirks at Elyza.

Alicia hears the redhead mutter a quiet “I told you it was funny” into her ear, so Alicia tugs on her hand and gives her best side-eye to the woman. Nick smiles at the interaction, and Alicia feels the heat creep up into her cheeks. Her brother thankfully doesn’t comment and continues.

“Anyway, Mom had a feeling she was the one you’ve been rumored to be traveling with, so we let her go. I offered to follow her, which was trickier than we originally thought. Was that a Can-Am Spyder you were driving?”

“My Harley was stolen,” Elyza grumbles, her cheeks turning an adorable shade of pink.

“Right, well, we were eventually able to pick up your trail, thanks to Loren over there. And here we are. Mom was right,” Nick finishes with a wave of his hand.

“How’d you know Elyza was the one I was traveling with?” Alicia ponders.

“She matched the description, except for the red hair. And you don’t really come across too many cheeky Aussies in the middle of the desert,” Nick says simply.

Alicia can’t help but roll her eyes. She gives Elyza’s hand a little squeeze before chastising her, “You and your mouth…”

“If I remember correctly, love, you seem to enjoy my mouth,” she brags with a devilish smirk. Alicia gapes and struggles to find words as her mind is suddenly inundated with images of said mouth in places her brother should never need to hear about.

“Okay, I didn’t need to hear that,” Nick gags.

“Shut up, Nick,” Alicia retorts, finally able to form words again.

“Not to interrupt this charming little sibling spat here, but we should probably get to it,” Loren says stepping in between Nick and the couple.

“Yeah, okay,” Alicia relents. “Give us a minute to finish packing up here. We’ll meet you outside soon.”

Loren nods and swiftly exits the research center, and Nick turns to follow. He comes to a sudden stop and faces Alicia. “Hey, come here for a sec,” he beckons.

Alicia releases the grip on Elyza’s hand and joins her brother. He lowers his voice to a whisper. “Are you sure you can trust her? Mom has her reservations.”

“She’s saved my life in more ways than I can count,” Alicia sighs. She glances over at the redhead who gives her an uncharacteristically sheepish little wave. Alicia grins in response before turning back to her brother. She lowers her voice dangerously, “If she doesn’t come, I don’t come.”

“I never said she couldn’t come,” Nick counters quickly. “I think she’s awesome. And if you trust her, I trust her. I didn’t see you like this with Jake, and he was possibly one of the only truly decent guys left on the planet. She must be something.”

The mention of Jake causes a sudden pang in her chest, but she swallows it down as quickly as it surfaces. “She is definitely something.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Okay,” Nick repeats and shrugs. “I just had to make sure. I’ll be waiting outside.” And with that Nick gives her a hug and a quick peck on the cheek before exiting the building leaving Alicia alone with Elyza.

“So that’s your shady brother?”

“Yep, that’s Nick,” Alicia affirms. She crosses the room and stops in front of Elyza, needlessly tucking a few strands of hair behind her ear. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, love,” Elyza sighs, closing her eyes and leaning into Alicia’s touch.

“Are you okay going with them?”

Elyza opens her eyes and gives a tight smile. “It’s your family, love. This is what you’ve been waiting for.”

“Yes, that’s true, but they’re not all I care about anymore,” Alicia admits. She drops her hand and makes sure Elyza is looking right at her before continuing. “I know I got a little carried away when I realized the woman from your story could be my mother, but, Elyza, I’m not going to force you to do anything you don’t want to.”

“As I said before, I’m willing to give this people thing a go. You’re not forcing me, love. I meant what I said, I don’t want to leave you.” Elyza gives Alicia a genuine smile. “But if that Loren bloke starts cracking on you in any way, it’s going to be Chunderhead 2.0, and I’m not holding back this time.”

“Chunderhead 2.0?” Alicia lets out a stifled giggle, “Don’t worry, he’s no match for my affections. You’re the only one I see.”

She pulls Elyza in for a kiss that is meant to be sweet and chaste, but the Aussie apparently has other plans. She slips her tongue in and tangles her fingers in Alicia’s hair. Alicia, quickly losing control of her body, presses closer to her, gripping her waist with both hands. Elyza groans at the sensation, which only causes Alicia to squeeze harder, her hands sliding up under Elyza’s shirt, digging into her bare skin.

With more self-control than Alicia currently possesses, Elyza pulls back out of the embrace with a goofy smile on her face. Alicia knows she must look just as disheveled, just as goofy, pupils just as blown, as the woman in front of her. “Sorry, love, got a little carried away there. Just had to get in one last pash before we’re surrounded by your family.”

Alicia finally composes herself somewhat. “Family. Yes. Outside.”

Elyza smirks at her attempt to form a sentence. “We could always make him wait a little longer,” she breathes stepping closer to Alicia. Her lips ghost over Alicia’s as she speaks. “A few more minutes won’t kill him.”

\-- 

“I thought you hated that thing?” Alicia calls over the gentle roar of the engine.

“It’s not my first choice, but it’s better than nothing, love.” The Spyder crawls at a painfully slow pace alongside Alicia who shrugs her shoulders at the redhead.

“It just seems like such a waste of gas to drive it so slowly.”

“If someone would just tell me where we’re going, I could ride along ahead,” Elyza shouts just a little louder as she glares at the back of Nick’s head.

Nick ignores the quip and continues walking without sparing a glance over his shoulder. “It’s not much further now. Little less than a mile.”

“Well that’s a bloody hell yes!” Elyza exclaims as she pulls the Spyder to a stop. She kills the engine and begins to push the heavy vehicle. “Wouldn’t mind a little help, love. This bloody thing is a right bit more awkward to walk than my Harley.”

Alicia closes the few feet separating them and grabs onto the Spyder. She looks up to see Loren sprint a few yards ahead and swing a ball-peen hammer into the skull of an infected. The skull shatters, and even with the distance, Alicia can hear the squelch of decaying brain matter as Loren rips his weapon from the corpse. He squats down, rummaging through the pockets of the deceased, thoroughly focused on his task. Alicia stiffens when she sees the threat, and just as she’s about to call out to him, Nick strides over casually and sinks his knife into the approaching walker’s eye. The second corpse drops just a few feet from Loren who just turns to Nick with a grin. “Thanks, man.”

Alicia continues to walk the Spyder, surprised by the ease and comfort of the interaction, and she feels her mind soothe about Loren’s intentions. He seems to have worked his way into her family’s life just as Elyza has worked her way into Alicia’s.

\-- 

Alicia raises her hand to her forehead, shielding the blistering sun from her face. In the near distance, she can see a large modern looking home with an entire wall of windows. The home itself sits elevated just high enough to give the perfect vantage point to the surrounding breathtaking views of the desert and mountains. A few separate buildings and a glistening, perfectly blue pool, all with the same modular flair, complete the complex.

“My parents left it to me.”

Alicia tears her eyes from the stunning home and looks at Loren. The man takes a deep sigh as he stares off at the home with a distant smile on his face. “This was our vacation home. Lots of good memories here. My parents left it to me when they passed. I suggested it to Madison. We’ve been here for a few weeks now.”

Alicia nods and glances over at Elyza who seems just as in awe of the home as she is. Alicia looks back at the complex they are quickly approaching. The large wrought iron gate towers ominously in front of them, casting harsh shadows on the sandstone driveway. “I’m sorry about your parents,” she finally offers the man.

“No need,” Loren waves off her condolences with a soft grin. He approaches the gate and rests his hand over the chain lock. “They passed a while ago. I’ve done my mourning. I’m well into the ‘remember them fondly with a smile on my face’ phase.”

As Loren unlocks the iron gate, Alicia snaps her head towards the front door of the house. A mess of blonde hair comes sprinting out the door and down the sandstone driveway towards them. Alicia feels her heart swell at the sight of her mother but has to contain the disappointment in her soul as Madison wraps her arms around Nick.

“You made it,” she hears her mother mumble into her brother’s hair.

Nick sighs into the hug for a moment, finally pulling away and gesturing towards Alicia. “We did. And look who we found.”

“Alicia,” Madison exhales as she pulls her daughter in for a tight hug. Alicia melts into the embrace, gripping her mother tighter than she ever remembers. “I’m so glad we found you. Let me look at you.”

Madison holds Alicia at arm’s length as her eyes scan over her daughter. She runs her fingers through Alicia’s hair. “Your hair.”

“I cut it.”

“I can see that,” Madison smiles. She pulls her in once again, and Alicia can’t keep her tears at bay any longer. Two single teardrops roll down her cheeks and disappear into her mother’s blonde hair. “Oh, baby, I can’t tell you how happy I am to see you safe.”

Alicia glances over her shoulder to see her Aussie awkwardly rocking back and forth on the heels of her feet. She finally releases her mother and closes the few feet to Elyza. She wraps her fingers through the redhead’s. “Mom, this is Elyza. She’s kept me alive these past few weeks.”

“Hardly,” Elyza dismisses. She holds her free hand out for Madison who gradually takes it. “Elyza Lex, good to see you again, Ms. C,” she winks.

“Nice to officially meet you, Elyza.” Madison drops her grip on Elyza and wraps a protective arm around Alicia, pulling her away from the Aussie. “Come on, I’ll show you around.”

Alicia follows her mother blindly as they walk up the driveway to the house in the middle of the desert.

\-- 

“You’re Susanna and Vicki?” Luciana’s voice marvels over the firepit. She sits forward with her hand balanced on Nick’s knee, supporting her sudden movement.

“Yep,” Alicia nods, raising her eyebrows and giving a little grimace. “That would be us.”

“No wonder Russ hated you, Elyza,” Nick shakes his head with a tight-lipped smirk.

“What’s that supposed to mean, mate?”

“Look at you two,” Loren gestures between them. Alicia glances up at Elyza with a little smile. Elyza doesn’t return the gesture but instead tightens her hold around Alicia’s waist and pulls her closer to her chest. “There’s no competing with that.”

“Can we not talk about Chunderhead? That asshole, hell that whole bloody settlement, really isn’t my bowl of rice. Blokes sold us out. I’d live a happy life if I never heard mention of them again.”

Alicia finds Elyza’s hand that’s pressed around her middle and interlocks their fingers. She gives it a reassuring squeeze and feels the Aussie release most of the bristling tension from her body. Reaching with her free hand, Alicia grabs for the tray on the ground. She hands the treat to Elyza when she hears Nick mutter a confused, “Chunderhead?”

“Don’t ask,” Alicia shakes her head.

“So, 2.0,” Elyza clears her throat. “Tell me, how in the bloody hell did you manage to make brownies in the middle of the world ending?”

“Applesauce,” Loren grins.

“What?” Alicia shoots a perplexed look over to the man.

“I always kept this place stocked with non-perishables. There’s not exactly a grocery store nearby,” he explains simply. “Brownie mix, oil, applesauce. Not quite the same, but close enough.”

“I don’t know,” Alicia interjects. She grabs another piece off the tray in front of her and takes a slow bite. She nearly lets out a most embarrassing moan as the taste of chocolate, almost forgotten in these nearly three months, explodes on her tongue. “This may be the best thing I’ve put in my mouth in months.”

Alicia feels the arms wrapped around her tense and spares a glance up at Elyza. The redhead quirks her eyebrow and gives her that devilish smirk. “The best thing in your mouth in months? Really?”

The innuendo is not lost on anyone sitting around the firepit, and Nick suddenly stands and pulls Luciana to her feet. “Well, on that note, we’re going to call it a night.”

“I think it’s time everyone called it a night,” Madison’s voice calls over to the group. She walks closer with Strand at her side, the firelight illuminating their faces. Alicia actually appreciates that her mother gave them their space tonight, watching from afar as her children reconnected and just enjoyed a moment.

Nick makes his way towards their mother and kisses her cheek, and Luciana offers her a quick hug before the couple disappears towards one of the outer buildings with a slight wave towards Alicia.

“You going to be alright?” Her mother calls to her as she stands with Elyza.

“Yes, Mom. We’ll be fine,” Alicia rolls her eyes but gives her mom a kiss on the cheek before walking past her.

“Okay,” Madison grabs Alicia’s arm, stopping her in her tracks. She gives her a tight smile. “I’m on first watch with Loren. Victor and Nick are next. One of them will wake you when it’s your turn.”

“We know the drill,” Alicia nods. Elyza wraps her arm around Alicia’s waist guiding her towards the main house, and Alicia can feel her mother’s gaze burning into the back of Elyza’s skull.

\-- 

Alicia stirs in her sleep. She subconsciously reaches out, searching for the familiar comfort of a warm body. When her hands grip nothing but cooling sheets, Alicia opens her eyes. She peers sleepily around the room, but Elyza is nowhere to be found. Her jacket rests over the back of the chair in the corner, and her boots sit underneath it on the floor. Alicia pads over to the door and just as she reaches for the doorknob, a muffled noise stops her. Alicia presses her ear to the door and stills her breathing. She inhales sharply at the sound of her Aussie and mother talking in heated hushed voices just outside.

Alicia pulls back, unsure if she should be eavesdropping on a clearly private conversation, but after only minor deliberation, she resumes her spot, pressing her ear to the door.

“I don’t trust you,” her mother’s whispered voice echoes in the hallway.

“Your daughter trusts me. Isn’t that enough?”

“No. It’s not.”

“Well, you’re a blunt one, aren’t you, mate?”

“All I know about you is that you have a loud mouth with a clear disregard for authority, which quite frankly is probably what got you in trouble with the Proctors in the first place. That and you kidnapped my daughter.”

“Deadset. You figured me out, Ms. C. Really, nail on the head. Except for the kidnapping your daughter bit. She chose to come with me, after I saved her from the Proctors at the dam. The very dam you left her at.”

“I didn’t leave her.”

“You did. I saw her leave you a note. You knew she’d be back in the morning, but you left.”

“Don’t talk about things you know nothing of. The Proctors came back. It wasn’t safe.”

“Tell yourself whatever you want, Madison. You could have stayed in the area. Hidden up a ridge, waited for her to come, but you didn’t. You left. I didn’t leave. I came back for her. I got her to safety.”

“You’re a real hero. Tell me, Elyza, how many times has your mouth put my daughter in danger?”

“How many times have you put your son over your daughter?”

“I won’t let you hurt her. I’ve seen your type before. You’ll stay. For a while. And then you’ll leave. And you’ll leave Alicia brokenhearted in this godforsaken world without a care as to how she’ll put herself back together. So do us a favor, and just go now. Before she falls in love with you.”

“What makes you say she will?”

“I’m her mother.”

“And I’m the woman who already loves your daughter. I’m not going anywhere, not until she tells me to leave. And if you don’t want to lose her, I’d advise you to back off.”

“Don’t threaten me.”

“It’s not a threat. But if it were, I’d remember to do it with the safety off.”

Alicia swallows thickly at the heated exchange and takes a sudden step back at the sound of feet approaching the door. She silently races over to the bed and pulls the blankets over her just before a sliver of light peeks through the door. She squeezes her eyes shut as she feels the bed dip beside her. Elyza scoots close and places a gentle hand around her waist.

Alicia startles at the whispered voice in her ear. “So how much of that did you hear, love?”

Alicia holds the arm that is wrapped around her, pulling Elyza closer. “You’re staying?”

“I’m staying.”

Alicia sighs and turns to face her redhead. “My mother-”

Elyza shakes her head and cuts her off. “Your mother is just looking out for you, love. She loves you and wants what’s best for you. Same as me. But unlike her, I’m going to let you decide that part on your own. You want me with you? I’m here. You want me to leave? I’m gone. I’ll be wrecked, make no doubt about that, but I’d do it for you. It’s your choice.”

Alicia struggles in the darkness to get a good look at Elyza’s face. She knows the Aussie is being truthful; she knows she means every word. She doesn’t have to see her face to know that, so instead, she places her palm on her cheek and tenderly strokes her face with her thumb.

“I want you. Surviving was killing me until I met you. I’m never going to tell you to leave. That’s a promise. Jag älskar dig.”

“Jag älskar dig också.”

Alicia gives her a half smile that she’s sure Elyza can’t see before pressing their lips gently together. The kiss lasts only a few seconds before Alicia pulls away.

“But my mother… She can be…” Alicia pauses trying to find the right words. She loves her mother. Fiercely. And though she’s aware that Madison has and will continue to worry about Nick more, Alicia has never truly questioned her mother’s love for her. She knows Madison just wants her to survive.

“My mother, she’s made mistakes. So many mistakes. But we’re still here; she’s kept us alive, and you… I don’t know how she’ll… I don’t want her to-”

Elyza thankfully cuts off Alicia’s stutter. “She’ll come around, love. You like me. Your brother likes me. Give us a few days and your mum and I will be like old drinking buddies.”

Alicia chuckles at the thought. “You think you’re so smooth.”

“I don’t think. I know, love. I’m like catnip for you Clarks. Your own personal brand of heroin.”

“Oh my god,” Alicia groans. She rolls over onto her back and drags her hands down her face. “You did not just quote Twilight.”

“Ah, so you’ve read it!”


	11. Something to Believe In

“It’s been hard on him. Ever since the dam.”

Alicia startles at the voice behind her. She tears her eyes away from her brother floating with his eyes closed in the glistening pool and stares at the woman standing next to her.

“He thought he killed you,” Luciana explains. She smiles as she watches Nick, but her eyes hide a deep sadness. Alicia doesn’t say anything and waits for her to continue. “We knew you survived the river since you left that note. And there were the rumors. The rewards offered for you and Elyza. But we didn’t know if they were true. None of us knew you were alive, and it broke him. He wouldn’t leave your mother’s side for weeks. He couldn’t. The first time he did was yesterday when he went after you.”

“I didn’t know if any of you were alive either.”

“You’re strong, Alicia. You’re tough. Nick, he’s strong, but he’s...” Luci trails off turning her attention back to Nick in the water. She sighs and smiles again. “He’s… he’s just… Nick.”

“I know,” Alicia exhales. Nick had always been such a sensitive soul. She knows that’s the reason Madison treats him the way she does. It’s why he’s always received more attention, more compassion, more everything. Alicia lets her mind wander on her brother for only a moment longer before she turns back to Luciana. “So how are you here? You left us at the ranch. How-”

“Loren,” Luci interrupts simply. Alicia just cocks her head to the side, urging Luciana to continue, and she does. “After I left the ranch, I made my way back towards the border. I didn’t know where else to go. But my shoulder… I ran out of water. I was close to… but Loren found me,” she rambles with pain in her voice. Alicia’s heart drops a fraction at the thought of Luciana dying alone in the desert from complications from her gunshot wound or dehydration. She can’t even imagine how Nick would have handled that news.

“He was staying in this cave in the desert, and he brought me there,” Luci continues. “He didn’t let me die. He’s a good guy. That’s where we were staying when your mother found us.”

Luciana pauses her story for just a moment when Alicia raises her eyebrows in surprise.

“It was about two, maybe three weeks after I left the ranch. Loren and I were at a gas station. He was siphoning some gas; I was inside looking for food when I heard her. I couldn’t believe it was her. She had her gun on him telling him to just stay where he was when I stepped outside.”

“A good thing she did too,” Loren interjects coming to stand beside Luci. He places a friendly hand on Luciana’s shoulder before addressing Alicia. “Your mother is a terrifying woman. Brilliant. But terrifying,” he jokes somewhat seriously.

“I only would have shot you if you tried to shoot me first.”

The three of them turn from the window to find Madison standing in the doorway. She strolls up and stops next to Alicia, a genuine smile on her face.

“Well, I know that now. I didn’t know it then,” Loren laughs. He rolls his eyes playfully, and Alicia feels the corners of her mouth twitch into a smirk at the sound of her mother and Luci laughing. After a lull in the conversation, Alicia looks to her mother. “So then you made your way here?”

Madison nods. “Ran into the people from the O.R. Stayed there for a few days, hoping we’d hear about you. When Sol asked us to leave, Loren brought us the rest of the way here.”

“Sol told the truth about that,” Alicia mutters under her breath.

“He did,” her mother confirms. She hears her take a deep breath, but Alicia’s focus is back on the window. Elyza strides out on the deck, removing her shirt and pants as she walks. Alicia watches her fondly as she slowly lowers herself into the water. She has the sudden urge to walk out the door and shout to Elyza to be careful of her wounds, but Alicia just relaxes, trusting that Elyza will not do anything to harm herself.

Alicia is so preoccupied with watching her Aussie, she doesn’t notice Loren and Luciana leave. She doesn’t even break her gaze when her mother speaks again.

“You trust her?”

“With my life.”

“Alicia-”

Alicia exhales slowly and turns towards her mother. Her body tenses and her muscles bristle with anticipation of the upcoming argument. “Mom, don’t. I don’t want to hear it.”

“You’re going to hear it,” Madison snaps. “That girl is nothing but trouble. She made this mess with the Proctors a hundred times worse than it was.”

“No,” Alicia argues. Her blood boils under her skin, and she fights the urge to raise her voice. Alicia takes a deep breath trying to remain calm and firm.

“She saved me from the Proctors. A couple of times. You want to put blame on someone for making the Proctor mess worse? Blame me for getting coerced into being his nurse. Blame Nick for snooping around the bullring. Blame Strand for making a deal with them in the first place. Blame yourself for trusting Strand. It’s all our fault. She had nothing to do with us. Why won’t you give her a chance? You don’t have a problem with Luci. You seem to trust Loren just fine. Why not her? Is it because she makes me happy? Am I not allowed to hold on to something good in this goddamned world?”

“That’s not it, and you know it. No one here knows her. No one here trusts her.”

Alicia loses the battle with her body and finally explodes at her mother fighting back the tears. “I do! Why isn’t that enough?”

“Alicia…” Madison’s voice is suddenly sympathetic, but Alicia doesn’t let her elaborate.

“Mom, please. Please,” she begs sincerely. She’s desperate for her mother to accept Elyza. She doesn’t want to have to choose between Elyza and her family, because honestly, she’s not sure whom she would pick in the end, and that thought terrifies her.

“Don’t trust her. Fine. But trust me. She’s a good person. She’d never do anything to hurt me and by extension, any of you. Please, Mom.”

Madison sighs and shakes her head. She stares back out the window, and Alicia follows her gaze. Elyza and Nick both float on their backs, each supported by a couple of foam pool noodles. Both have their eyes shut, and both look entirely peaceful. “You love her, don’t you?”

Alicia smiles, and at that moment, Elyza’s eyes open. Their gazes lock, and Elyza attempts to give her a cute little wave. The movement shifts her balance, and before she can right herself, Elyza flips over in the water. She resurfaces, rather gracefully despite the clumsy event that got her soaked in the first place, and Alicia lets out a huff of laughter. Elyza’s chest heaves as she laughs at herself and easily finds Alicia’s gaze once more. Alicia turns to her mother, her cheeks aching from the huge grin she sports. “Yeah, Mom, I do.”

\-- 

“Only took 3 weeks, but your red is fading nicely.”

“About bloody time,” Elyza mumbles as she squats down inspecting the contents of her bag.

“Miss being blonde?” Alicia asks. She runs her fingers through the fading red and blonde hair. She uses her nails to scrape gently against Elyza’s scalp and smirks when she hears her companion nearly purr at the action.  

“I’ll miss this place more,” Elyza hums, standing with the bag. She weaves her arms around Alicia’s waist, and Alicia wraps hers around her neck.

“Why? We can’t make it work. Too dry to grow any food here.”

“I know, love. But that pool!” Elyza exclaims, throwing her head back in dramatic exasperation. “Ugh, I’m going to miss that pool. 2.0 has his flaws, but maintaining that gorgeous, glistening, oasis certainly isn’t one of them.”

“You do know that Loren has never hit on me, right?”

“I’ve seen his sidelong glances.” Elyza tightens her grip on Alicia’s waist and leans tantalizingly close.

“You’re ridiculous,” Alicia breathes against the Aussie’s pink lips. She moves ever closer, her lips barely brushing when a voice breaks them apart. The women separate at an impressive speed and turn towards the intrusion.

“You guys ready?” Madison calls over to them. She stands with one hand on her hip, the other gripping the driver’s side door of the truck they all apparently arrived in. “You remember where we’re stopping?”

“Deadset. Locked tight in here,” Elyza recovers as she taps the side of her head. “Don’t you worry your pretty little face, Ms. C.”

Much to Alicia’s surprise, Madison doesn’t respond. She just gives a forced tight-lipped smile and beckons her daughter over. Alicia obeys blindly with only a simple apologetic smile to the Aussie.

“Here.” Madison holds out a Beretta, not unlike the one Elyza gave her several weeks ago. Alicia takes the offered pistol and holds the familiar weight in her hands.

“Mom, where did you find this?” Alicia ejects the clip, checking its contents and slams it back into place.

“A few days ago, on that last supply run. One of the dead had it on her. You remember how to use it?”

“I do.”

“Good,” Madison nods. She reaches towards the front seat of the car and pulls out a drop leg holster. She hands it over to Alicia who graciously takes it with a small smile. Alicia carefully clips the Beretta into the holster and looks up at her mother. “There’re a few spare clips in there.”

Alicia nods her thanks and turns to walk back towards Elyza. She’s stopped when her mother grabs her wrist, turning her back around. “Alicia. If we get separated...”

Alicia watches the worry spread across her mother’s face as she tries to find the right words. She only has the briefest ideas as to what her mother is going through. The last time they were separated, Alicia was gone for nearly three weeks. It was hard enough for her to be unsure as to the fate of her family. She can’t even begin to imagine what it must feel like for a mother to lose a child. Alicia gives her mother a knowing nod and smile. “Just be careful,” Madison finally finishes.

“You too, Mom.” Alicia pulls her mother in for a firm hug, squeezing just a little harder when she hears her mother’s stuttered inhale. The women break apart, and with a final smile, Alicia makes her way back to Elyza.

Elyza motions her head towards the holster in Alicia’s hands. “Need some help with that?”

Alicia shakes her head and begins to buckle the holster into place around her waist. “I’ve got it.” As she bends over to clip the small straps around her thigh, Alicia catches the slight pout on Elyza’s face and grins at the woman. “I don’t think my family really needs to see you feel up my leg this early in the morning.”

“Alicia Clark!” Elyza exclaims, pressing her hand over her heart. “I’m offended. As if I would take advantage of a simple kind gesture like helping out a friend and turn it into some sort of sexually charged flirtation.” The Aussie throws her leg over the vehicle and turns, patting the seat behind her. “Now straddle me on the back of this Spyder, and squeeze those thighs tight.”

\-- 

The three-hour drive passes relatively quickly. The pair lost sight of the truck behind them as they entered the outskirts of El Paso with Elyza effortlessly weaving in and out of abandoned cars and barricades. They make their way through the city with ease, roaring past the dead without much thought.

Alicia picks her head up off the comforting leather-clad back and looks around as she feels the Spyder slow. The city spreads out again, buildings become further and further apart as the women make their way to the designated meeting spot, a tiny gas station just on the other side of the city. Elyza suddenly pulls over, seemingly in the middle of nowhere.

“What are you doing?” Alicia calls out as the roar of the engine cuts off. “Is everything okay? This isn’t where we’re supposed to wait.”

“Do you smell that?” Elyza leaps off the Spyder, standing dramatically with her eyes closed and head tilted slightly up.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“Don’t tell me you can’t smell that, love.”

Alicia swings her legs over the seat and joins her companion on the side of the road. “What are you- oh! Oh, my god! That smells amazing.”

“There has to be an orchard or something. I don’t remember seeing anything on the map. Shall we check it out?” Elyza wiggles her eyebrows animatedly and rubs her hands together.

Alicia can’t help but smile at the enthusiasm. “My family is-”

“At least an hour behind us. Come on, love. When was the last time you had fresh fruit?” Elyza pleads like a small child, grabbing Alicia’s hand and squeezing with a smile.

“It’s been a while.”

“Exactly, yes! We’ll check it out and still be back before your family even gets there.” Elyza gives her a chaste kiss on the lips before hopping back on the Spyder. The engine roars to life, and Alicia climbs back on, wrapping her arms around her companion.

Elyza drives slower, finding a dirt path just a few yards up the road. The overgrown path is bumpy, full of divots, but as the smell of citrus grows stronger, the road becomes more manageable. It was almost as if they were working on it when things went to hell and never really got to finish.

Alicia sharply inhales as the Spyder breaks through the tree line, and she’s met with a long chain link fence, the pops of color from fruit trees just visible over the top. Elyza pulls up to the front gate and kills the engine. The slightly tattered banner ripples gently in the hot breeze, but Alicia can’t fight the grin as she reads it: _Good Thymes Nursery: The self-sustaining garden center of your dreams. Coming Soon!_

“Bloody hell yes!”

Alicia dismounts quickly, grabbing for her overly excited companion. She pulls the woman to a stop. “Elyza, wait! We still need to be careful. We don’t know what, or who, is inside.”

Elyza nods quickly and pulls out her twin blades with a devilish grin. Alicia rolls her eyes and walks slowly up to the chain fence. The view is completely obscured with privacy cloth, so Alicia begins to heft herself up the fence. When she reaches the top, her breath catches in her throat. She takes a moment to survey the whole of the nursery, soaking up every beautiful detail.

“What do you see? Alicia, love. What’s in there? Is it good? Come on, love! You’re killing me. That’s it. I’m coming up.”

“Relax, don’t risk your shoulder. I’m climbing down.” Alicia drops the last few feet and lands with a soft thud in front of her bouncing companion.

“Well, out with it, love.”

“We can make this work. It has everything. There’s a big converted farmhouse in the center, looks like the irrigation is all set up, and there are so many trees and flowers, and there’s a vegetable and herb garden in the back, and it looks like the whole thing is fenced in. Elyza, this is perfect.”

“And the dead?”

Alicia scrunches her face in mild irritation. “More than we can handle by ourselves,” she relents. She sees the crestfallen Aussie slump her shoulders in defeat. “But with the numbers my family brings, it should be easily manageable.”

Elyza steps into Alicia’s personal space and wraps her arms firmly around her neck, bringing her in for a bruising kiss. Alicia responds wholeheartedly, gripping Elyza’s hips and pulling her in even closer.

“I didn’t think you’d ever be this excited over something without books,” Alicia smirks into the Aussie’s mouth. Elyza pulls away from the embrace, and Alicia is suddenly cursing herself for her inability to keep her mouth shut and not tease the woman when she’s in her arms. Elyza just points over the top of the fence to a random tree.

“Do you see that, love? That, right there, is an avocado tree. And avos may just be the one thing on this planet more delectable than you are.”

Alicia chuckles at the seriousness of the Aussie’s statement. “Well, then we should go get my family and clear this place out as quickly as possible. Wouldn’t want to keep you from your one true love longer than necessary.”

“No need for jealousy, love,” Elyza winks. She waltzes back over to the Spyder and gestures for Alicia to join her, which she does with a gentle roll of her eyes. Elyza brings the vehicle to life and turns to address Alicia. “While avos and I go way back, they won’t be the ones keeping me warm at night.” She places a quick kiss to Alicia’s lips and speeds off back down the dirt road.

Alicia holds on tight, her mind wandering to the nursery. It really could be exactly what they’re looking for, and the thought turns the corners of her mouth into a sly grin.

\-- 

The top of a skull flies through the air followed shortly by a streak of rotting blood. The corpse crumples to the ground, and Alicia swings her golok upwards, impaling another infected through the chin. She glances around and spies Nick clumsily leaping towards a walker, pulling it back just enough for Luciana to sink her knife into its head. Madison and Strand are not more than ten feet from Nick, easily dispatching of the small horde near the corner of the fence. Alicia turns around to find Loren wrenching his blood-soaked hammer from a body on the ground.

Alicia whips her head to the other side, desperate to see the one person left to be accounted for. She finds the woman, brandishing one of her twin blades like an ice pick, as she’s about to place a perfectly aimed strike to an infected’s eye socket. Alicia races over to her, cutting down a walker in her path. She barely has time to smile at Elyza before both their eyes widen at the scenes behind each of them. Elyza flips the blade in her hand and lets the knife fly over Alicia’s left shoulder just as Alicia takes a small step forward, her golok raised and slides the long blade into the underside of a corpse’s head. The body falls unceremoniously to the ground, knocking Elyza forward and into Alicia’s arms.

“Don’t,” Alicia cuts off the Aussie before she can speak. “Don’t make a joke about falling for me.”

Elyza huffs in disappointment as she rights herself, and Alicia just smiles as she surveys the nursery. All family members are accounted for and all seem to be doing the same thing at the moment. The nursery is clear of the dead, and everyone is alive. Alicia intertwines her fingers with Elyza’s and pulls her to the center of the nursery, meeting her family there.

“Everyone okay?” Madison asks the group when they all arrive. They all glance around and nod, letting each other know that no one has sustained any injuries. “Good, that’s good. Let’s get these bodies out of here and see what we’re really working with.”

The work is slow and boring, and by the end of it, Alicia’s muscles are screaming in protest. But the nursery is clear of rotting corpses, and the fence is thoroughly examined, deemed stable, and locked tight.

Alicia throws her body on the ground next to Elyza and gazes up at the orange sky. She blindly reaches over and places the single piece of fruit on Elyza’s chest. Her Aussie chuckles as she sits up, and Alicia closes her eyes and smiles. She hears Elyza unsheathe one of her twin blades, the sound of the metal scraping slightly against leather, a now familiar one, and she opens one eye. Elyza skillfully slides her knife into the dark green skin of the avocado and cuts it in half. She watches out the corner of her eye as the woman removes the pit and slices the fruit, still in its skin. Elyza scoops out a slice using her knife and brings it to her lips.

The accompanying moan causes Alicia to grin wider and open her other eye as she watches this woman enjoy one of life’s simple pleasures. It’s the little things.

\-- 

Alicia sits back in the Adirondack chair and gazes out over the nursery. The night is quickly approaching, and her skin is bristling with nervous energy. She hears the thump thump of heavy boots on the roof but doesn’t bother to turn towards the sound. The footsteps grow louder, and she hears a creak of wood as someone takes a seat in the other chair on the roof.

“Don’t worry. She’ll be back soon. They both will.”

“I know.”

“So how is your lover from down under coping?”

Alicia turns towards the man and tilts her head in confusion.

“She’s not the type for all this domesticity. Is the fearsome tigress ready to break free from her cage, or has the great Alicia Clark tamed the wild beast?”

“I’m not keeping her here against her will, Strand. She can leave if she wants,” Alicia grumbles looking back over the horizon.

It’s been a month. A month of making this nursery a home, and a damn good one it is. The garden center was strategically built on top of a natural well with the intent to be able to be self-sustainable. It was fully stocked and ready to go with dozens of fruit trees, herbs, vegetables, and countless seeds for planting. All the soils and fertilizer, not to mention pretty much every gardening tool under the sun, was found easily. And the books. The books had been a godsend. Any deficiencies in gardening or horticulture the group had were easily rectified with the wonderful literature left behind. Good Thymes really was the self-sustaining garden center of their dreams. Thank the heavens for the environmentally conscious hippies of the world.

Alicia is brought from her thoughts as a gentle roar of an engine cuts through the air. She snaps her head towards the sound and lets out an audible sigh at the sight of blonde hair whipping in the wind in the distance.

“Ah, the dynamic duo returns. Tell me, did you ever predict that your post-apocalyptic girlfriend and your recovering drug addict brother would become best friends?”

Alicia side-eyes the man sitting next to her. Strand lightly chuckles and raises his hands in surrender.

“I come in peace, Little Clark. Now that your family returns, relax a little.” Strand holds out a battered flask for Alicia. She eyes it wearily before taking a swig and has to fight back the involuntary need to cough as the amber liquid burns her throat. She hands the flask back to Strand with a barely there cough. The man smiles down at her. “I remember my first taste of whiskey. Much more pleasant circumstances than this, but I’m honored to give you the experience.”

He raises the flask in a cheers to Alicia and takes a hearty swig before offering it to her once more. Alicia, prepared for the sensation this time, swallows the liquid easily and actually takes a moment to appreciate the slightly sweet and spicy taste as the alcohol warms her throat.

“That’s my girl,” Strand chuckles. “I knew you were your mother’s daughter.”

“What?” Alicia exhales as she hands the flask back over.

“Best drinking partner around,” Strand smiles his winning grin before taking another sip. “Your mother is quite the woman.”

“So I’ve heard,” Alicia deadpans. The movement in front of her distracts her momentarily. Loren opens the chain link fence wide enough for the Spyder to drive through, and Alicia leans forward involuntarily. She sighs in relief as the Spyder comes to a halt in its designated parking spot and both her Aussie and her brother dismount easily. From her vantage point on the roof, Alicia can see the blood streaks on their clothes, and the full packs slung over their shoulders. Both have smiles plastered on their faces, and Alicia can just make out their voices dancing happily on the wind.

Alicia is brought back to the moment when Strand offers the flask again. She takes another gulp, deciding that if she’s going to have this conversation, she may as well accept the offered liquid courage.

“She saved me. From the water. She didn’t have to, but she did. I owe that woman my life,” Strand remarks solemnly.

“I think we can all say that.”

“We’re lucky to have her.”

“Did she send you up here?” Alicia comments suddenly. She turns to glare at the man sitting next to her.

“No,” Strand offers too quickly.

Alicia huffs in annoyance, suddenly realizing exactly why the man is here. “She wants you to convince me to take that room in the house.”

“Convince is an interesting word.”

“We converted that shed for her benefit too, you know,” Alicia retorts taking the flask from Strand once more. Her body feels warm and light, the alcohol affecting her quickly in the heat of the evening.

Strand nods as he takes his own swig with a smirk. “Ah, yes. Who can forget the sounds of passion emanating through old farmhouse walls in the dark stillness of the night? Certainly not I.”

“That was one time!” Alicia exclaims, throwing her body against the stiff wooden back of the chair.

“One time too many.”

“And that proves my point. The shed is best for everyone. It’s not like it’s far. It’s literally 50 feet from the house.” Alicia stands and hands the rifle over to her friend who takes it with a wink so quick Alicia isn’t certain she actually saw it. “Should you really be drinking when you’re on watch?” Alicia mutters, her body buzzing so greatly that she nearly stumbles while standing still.

“I’m a much more experienced whiskey drinker than you. Some would even consider me a connoisseur. No need to worry,” Strand smiles. He ushers her towards the ladder with his free hand. “Now run along, Little Clark. I’m sure your woman is wondering where you are.”

\-- 

Alicia walks hand in hand with Elyza towards the front of the farmhouse. The area had been cleared within the first couple of days at the nursery, and a decent firepit and stone oven had been built. Over the course of the month, the group had come to eat every evening meal together, just taking a moment to relax and enjoy the simple pleasure of cooking and eating as a family. There really is something to be said about the mundane.

As Alicia settles into her usual place next to Elyza, she glances around the circle, a sense of warmth spreads in her chest that has nothing to do with the roaring fire in front of her. The faces of every single person here are happy. Genuinely happy. The laughter that fills the air around them brings a smile to her face, but her grin falters a fraction when she finds one missing.

“Where’s mom?” Alicia calls over to Nick.

“She went to relieve Strand.”

Alicia nods and stands, handing her mostly finished plate to Elyza. The blonde looks up at her quizzically but says nothing. “Hand me her plate?” Alicia gives a half smile to her girlfriend as she passes Madison’s portion of grilled vegetables and rice over to Alicia.

Carefully balancing the plate of food, Alicia ascends the ladder. She reaches the top and plops down into the empty Adirondack chair, holding out the food for her mother. “You missed dinner.”

Madison turns towards her daughter with a barely-there smile and answers softly, “Just figured Strand would like to eat.”

“You need to eat too.” Alicia waves the plate in front of her mother and raises an eyebrow in a gentle challenge.

“I’ve survived on a lot less for a lot longer.”

“Yeah, but you were also a hangry mess. No deserves to suffer through that.”

“Hangry?”

“Hungry. Angry. Honestly, Mom. Did you even pay attention to the slang kids were using in the high school you worked at?”

“I was busy doing other things. Like my job.” Madison teases right back. She rolls her eyes when her daughter offers the plate to her once more but finally relents and takes it. She takes a few moments to nibble on the roasted vegetables, and Alicia just leans back in her chair, content to revel in the soft calm of her mother’s presence.

“How are you doing, baby?”

Alicia doesn’t bother to sit up but turns her head towards her mother with a soft smirk. “I’m good, Mom.”

Madison nods, returning the same quiet smile that Alicia currently sports. “This place is pretty amazing,” she says in between bites of her food.

“It is.”

“I never really thanked Elyza for finding it.”

“You should.”

“I should. You’re right.” Madison sets her empty plate on the roof below her and turns to face Alicia fully. “She’s not what I thought she was.”

Those words startle Alicia forward; she gapes at her mother. “Are you admitting that you like her?”

“I’m admitting that I was wrong about her. She’s good. She makes you happy. I can see that,” Madison sighs and looks down towards the group still gathered around the roaring fire. Alicia follows her gaze and smiles at the sight before her. Elyza has switched places with Luciana and is currently telling a story to Nick, her hands waving in front of her, her face a perfect picture of glee as Nick laughs. “And Nick seems to have taken to her.”

“Yeah, I don’t know how I feel about that. My girlfriend being best friends with my brother. It’s kinda weird, right?”

“Doesn’t have to be.”

“I guess not.” Alicia leans back in her chair and closes her eyes. This past month has been the best month she can remember since everything went south. Her family is happy and healthy and together, at least what’s left of it. Visions of Liza, Chris, Travis, and Ofelia dance through her head, and she can’t fight the sorrow swelling in her chest as she remembers how their deaths affected her mother. Alicia takes a stuttered breath, turning towards her mom once again. “How are you, Mom?”

“Better than I’ve been in a while.” Madison beckons her daughter towards her, and Alicia hefts herself up from the chair and takes the few steps towards her mother. Madison opens her arms, inviting Alicia to sit in her lap, and Alicia pauses, staring at her mother with her head cocked slightly to the side. It has been years since she’s sat in her lap, so long that Alicia can’t even remember the last time she did.

When Alicia still makes no move to sit, Madison huffs and pulls Alicia down by her wrist. Alicia freezes awkwardly for a moment before snuggling into her mother’s warm embrace. She relaxes instantly, resting her head on Madison’s shoulder as her mother wraps her arms protectively around her. “It’s nice to see both my babies happy with their partners. It’s something I never thought I’d see after... everything.”

Alicia nods into her mother’s shoulder, indulging in the childlike comfort she feels. Even after everything that has happened, all the fights, the deaths, the struggles to survive. After the heartbreaking confessions, the uncomfortable realizations, after everything, Alicia craves her mother’s love and acceptance. And in this moment, she feels it all.

“Elyza said we’ll have to go back for the rest of the supplies tomorrow.”

“Mmm, Nick told me,” Madison responds, rubbing Alicia’s back in the same manner she did whenever Alicia would wake from a nightmare as a child.

“My turn to go.”

Madison places a single kiss to the top of Alicia’s head. “I guess I don’t even need to offer to go with you. Elyza won’t let you leave this nursery without her.”

“She’s just protective.”

“Can’t say it’s a trait I don’t like.” Madison shifts below Alicia, urging her daughter to stand. “Go on now. Get some sleep. You’ve got the witching hour watch with Loren tonight. I’ll wake you when it’s time.”

Alicia gives her a half smile and nods, as she stands. She picks up Madison’s empty dinner plate and makes her way towards the ladder. “Mom?” Alicia calls over her shoulder. She turns to see the older blonde smile back at her. “Thank you. For everything.”

“I love you, too.” Alicia barely hears her mother’s whispered voice as she descends down the ladder.


	12. Following

Alicia stirs, a crick in her neck waking her from a dreamless sleep. She blinks her eyes rapidly open only to squint into the harsh rays of the rising sun. She jerks forward, barely catching the rifle before it clatters on the farmhouse roof.

“Easy there, Alicia. You’re okay.” A large firm hand presses gently against her shoulder, easing her from her startled state. She takes a deep breath, calming herself before squinting to adjust to the bright light.

“You shouldn’t have let me fall asleep,” Alicia grumbles as she stands, stretching out her tense muscles.

“You seemed tired.”

“We’re supposed to keep watch in pairs.”

“Oh, speaking of pairs, check this out!” Loren stands and puffs out his chest proudly showing off the new shirt he sports. Alicia giggles as she eyes an adorable cartoon pear holding hands with another pear with the phrase ‘We make a cute pear’ written underneath.

“Found it buried in that shed in the far corner. Near the old perennial section. There are a bunch of novelty shirts,” he grins, clearly pleased with himself. It’s one of the things Alicia has come to adore about the man. He finds the good, the humor, in everything. Even in this messed up world, Loren is positively tickled to find a shirt with a questionably cute pun on it.

“Here, I actually grabbed this one for you.” Loren reaches behind him and tosses a light blue shirt to Alicia. She easily catches it and holds it out in front of her. A cartoon radish smiles back at her with the phrase ‘You look radishing’ printed over the grinning vegetable. She chuckles and gives the man a warm smile.

“Oh, and this one for Elyza.” Alicia full out laughs at the t-shirt. A cartoon cactus, spikes and all, looks back at her with a speech bubble asking ‘Hugs?’ She can’t help but think how appropriate this shirt is for Elyza. The woman loves to keep people at arm’s length with her prickly words and sometimes thorny demeanor, but under that surface, she’s the kindest, gentlest person Alicia has ever met.

“I know it’s big,” Loren continues, nervously rubbing the back of his neck. “But I’ve seen her cut up shirts before and turn them into tank tops. Super jealous of that skill by the way. Do you think she’d teach me how to do that?”

“If she won’t, I can.” Alicia grins back. She’s making her way over to the man, arms raised for a thank you hug when she is brought to a stop by a familiar voice.

“Oy! 2.0! Is Sleeping Beauty still snoozing away up there with you?”

Loren shrugs his shoulders and leans slightly over the edge of the roof. “She’s awake.”

“Send her down, yeah? I want to get this run started sooner rather than later.”

Alicia rolls her eyes and walks over to the edge, leaning over just far enough for Elyza to see her. “You can address Sleeping Beauty herself, you know.”

“Ah, g’morning, love!” Elyza grins, holding one hand up to her forehead, shielding out the bright sun. “Ready to tackle the day?”

“I’ll be down in a minute. But in the meantime, here.” Alicia tosses down the t-shirts and watches as Elyza catches them with ease. “Loren found these for us. Yours is the cactus. The other one is mine. Care to cut them up to size?”

Elyza holds up the black shirt adorned with the pouty cactus and breaks into beautiful laughter. Her smile falls almost instantly as she reads Alicia’s light blue shirt. “Oy! 2.0! You cracking on my girlfriend?”

“What?” Loren asks genuinely, raising his shoulders in confusion.

“Ignore her. She’s a moron,” Alicia dismisses. She steps back from the edge of the roof, content to let her girlfriend stew unnecessarily over the cute t-shirt.

“I don’t understand a lot of her slang,” Loren puzzles. “Crack on? Rack off? I get some of it. I mean, avo for avocado is pretty straightforward. And I think I get deadset. But 2.0? Do you know what that means in Aussie slang? Does it have to do with being a two pot screamer? Because she called me that the other day when we found that handle of rum...”

Alicia grins and pats Loren sympathetically on the shoulder. “Don’t worry about it.”

“It’s not a bad nickname, is it?”

“It’s… because she cares?”

“About me or you?”

“She’s just a little overly dramatic sometimes.” Alicia walks over to the ladder, and Loren, ever the gentleman, escorts her. She steps down on the first rung, but quickly hops back up and wraps the man in a friendly hug. “Hey, thanks for the shirts. I mean it, they’re adorable, and I’ve been dire need of some fresh ones. There are only so many times you can scrub out blood and guts before the stains just kinda stick.”

She releases Loren and he grins at her, watching as she descends the ladder with practiced ease. She reaches the ground and begins the short trek to the shed she and Elyza call home when she hears Loren call down to her. “Be safe out there today.”

Alicia turns, walking backwards a few steps, and waves at the man on the roof, a silent promise to do as he says. She turns on her heel just in time to complete the last few steps to the shed door. Opening the door quietly, she pauses and watches Elyza; her back turned towards the door, meticulously tucking her blades into place.

The scene before her reminds her of months ago in school, reading The Iliad. Such a random thought, but Alicia sees the similarities between the arming scenes written by Homer and the woman in front of her slowly and carefully placing each blade in its designated place, ready to go to war if needed. At the time, Alicia didn’t understand the point of the scenes, but now, watching this strong, stunning, woman take such care and pride in her weapons, she gets it. Homer had a point. It’s a beautiful sight to behold.

Feeling a bit like she’s violated Elyza’s privacy for staring so long, Alicia clears her throat, finally announcing her presence. “Ready to go?”

Elyza turns without even the slightest indication that Alicia startled her and gives her that devilish smirk. “Just waiting on you, love.”

“I’m ready,” Alicia nods, patting her sheathed golok in assurance. Elyza grins and strides towards her, pausing only a moment to place a quick kiss to her lips, before exiting their home. Alicia exhales, unaware that she was even holding her breath, and catches up to the blonde. “Remind me what we’re looking for again.”

“Solder wire,” Elyza says without breaking her stride. “That’s the last thing missing to fix those broken solar panels. If 2.0 and I can just fix the large panel, we won’t have to ever turn on that walker magnet ever again.”

“It would be nice to keep the radios charged without worrying about alerting every corpse to our whereabouts.”

“Deadset.” Elyza nods, as she straddles the Spyder.

“You ladies ready to go?” Alicia turns towards the voice. Her brother stands behind her and throws his arms around her neck. “Safe travels. And don’t be late for dinner,” he mumbles into her ear. Alicia pulls away and cocks her eyebrow at him. He grins and raises his voice just enough so Elyza can hear their conversation. “Elyza and I found brownie mix while we were out yesterday, so you know what that means.”

“Yes!” Alicia practically purrs in promise of chocolate ecstasy. “I love Loren!”

“First he tells you you’re beautiful, nay ravishing, and now you’re declaring your love for him,” Elyza sulks from her seat on the Spyder. “I knew I should have kept a closer eye on 2.0.”

Alicia lets out of a huff of laughter as she approaches the blonde. “You’re ridiculous,” Alicia grins before leaning down and placing a not so innocent kiss to Elyza’s enticing lips. She lets out a quiet moan as Elyza tangles her fingers in Alicia’s hair, bringing them even closer together.

“Come on. I told you not to do that in front of me!” Nick scoffs. Alicia pulls away to scowl at her brother. “Haven’t I suffered enough?” He continues unfazed by Alicia’s attempt at a death glare. “I already know what you two sound like. I don’t need to see it.”

Alicia throws her head back in exasperation and an attempt to hide the furious blush blossoming on her cheeks. “That was one time!”

\-- 

The drive through El Paso has become a familiar one. Elyza weaves around the abandoned streets with ease, turning here and there, avoiding the most populated neighborhoods and the areas with the most dead. They come to a stop in front of a small, intact, hardware store. The windows are still solid, unbroken by the looters of the apocalypse.

“Here we are. Yesterday this place was crawling with the dead. Nick and I couldn’t get within ten feet of the door. Guess they moved on to bigger and bolder things,” Elyza shrugs.

Alicia hops off the back of the Spyder and walks cautiously towards the little shop. Using her hands to shield out the sun, Alicia presses her face to the abandoned store window. The inside is dark but clean. Not a single item out of place. “How has this store remained untouched?” she wonders aloud.

“Hell if I know, love. But I’m not complaining. It has to have what we need. Every other store we’ve searched has been completely ransacked. Let’s go.”

Alicia follows Elyza to the front of the store, keeping an eye on the road in front of them as the blonde tries the door. Alicia hears the rattle of metal as Elyza shakes the door. The noise alerts an ambling corpse from across the street.

“That’s too loud,” Alicia whispers over her shoulder as she draws her golok from her hip. She swings it with proficient ease, dispatching of the infected lazily. Before she can turn around, she feels a warm hand press against the small of her back. If the touch weren’t familiar, Alicia would have spun, blade out and easily killed the intrusion.

“Unless we want to shatter glass, we’re not getting in through the front,” Elyza whispers into her ear.

Alicia spins around to address the Aussie. “Around back?”

“My thoughts exactly.”

Alicia remains a step behind Elyza as they walk to the edge of the building, passing little shop after little shop, all vandalized, all looted. Turning the corner, the pair walks into the ally and makes their way towards the hardware store.

Alicia’s shoulders slump in defeat as she pulls uselessly on the chained back door. Giving up with a groan of frustration, Alicia slams her hand against the solid metal. Leaning her body weight against the cruelly locked door, Alicia throws her head up towards the sky. She knits her brows and turns towards Elyza. “How desperate are we about getting that solder wire?”

“Desperate as a drowning man clutching at a straw. Why, love?”

Alicia sighs and points a single finger up towards the roof.

“You think there’s access on the roof?”

“It’s an old building,” Alicia shrugs. “Building codes were weird back then.”

“One way to find out.”

It takes a bit of creative repurposing, but within fifteen minutes, Alicia is standing on a rather precariously constructed pyramid of boxes with an Aussie climbing on her shoulders. With a grunt and a forceful shove, Alicia pushes Elyza’s foot upwards and sighs in relief as she feels the blonde’s weight shift safely over the edge of the roof.

“Your turn, love,” Elyza calls to her. The blonde lies flat on the roof above and stretches down her hand. “Jump, I’ll catch you.”

Alicia bends her knees slightly, taking a moment to balance herself as the boxes below her shift dangerously. She takes a deep breath before hopping a few inches off the ground. Fingertips brush against fingertips but are unable to grasp. Alicia lands heavily and throws her arms out to adjust her weight. The boxes teeter perilously for a moment, and she looks up at the blonde.

“You’re going to have to jump higher than that.”

“If I do, the boxes are going to fall. What if you don’t catch me? I really don’t feel like breaking an ankle today.”

“Not going to happen, love. You make to my hands; I’ll never let you go. Trust me.”

Alicia nods in determination. Taking a better stance, Alicia looks up at Elyza’s steady face. The blonde nods at her, silently telling her she can do this. With a barely audible count, Alicia leaps into the air and lets out a gasp as her fingers wrap around a strong wrist. Elyza’s other hand instantly flies forward, gripping Alicia’s wrist in an iron hold. Alicia’s limbs flail for a moment against the brick building as the box pyramid shifts beneath her and tumbles to the ground with a loud crash.

Gaining control of her body, Alicia brings her free hand up, taking hold of Elyza as she struggles to pull her up onto the roof. The groan of the dead echoes in the alleyway, and Alicia whips her head towards a small horde approaching. She looks back up to see Elyza grit her teeth and heave with all her strength. Alicia pulls her feet beneath her, placing a steady foot parallel to the building and begins to slowly scale the brick wall.

The moans grow louder, and Alicia hears the scratch of brittle nails against the brick as a dozen dead and decaying hands reach for her. With a final grunt, Elyza pulls with all her might, and Alicia grasps the edge of the roof, pulling herself up and over. She collapses on her back and feels Elyza roll next to her.

“Told you I wouldn’t let you fall, love,” she chokes out between heavy breaths.

“Let’s just hope I wasn’t wrong about roof access because there’s no chance in hell we’re getting back down that way again.”

Breath relatively even, Alicia sits up, her forearms resting on her knees. Elyza lies spread eagle next to her, her chest still heaving as she steadies her own breath. Alicia takes the moment to survey her surroundings and nearly gasps in delight when she spies a simple hatch not ten feet from her current position. She lazily rights herself and stumbles to the door, her limbs heavy with the fleeing adrenaline, the roof groaning beneath her clumsy approach.

Reaching the door, she grabs the handle, giving it a firm twist. The metal groans in her hands but doesn’t move. She takes a deep breath and tries again, grunting at the exertion. She feels warm fingers wrap around her own as Elyza adds her own strength to the attempt. The lever still doesn’t budge.

“Bloody hell!” Elyza exclaims as she tumbles backwards when her grip falters. Alicia turns her head in slow motion as the earth-shaking sound of crumbling wood and drywall echoes in her ears. She barely has time to blink before she processes the sight of Elyza disappearing through the new gaping hole in the roof.

“Elyza!” Alicia shouts, lunging forward, helplessly grasping thin air, as she tries to feebly stop her girlfriend from falling into the building below. Alicia lands on her stomach, her upper body hanging over the edge of the new hole in the roof while Elyza coughs ten feet below her, lying flat on her back.

“Well,” she groans, sitting up to dust the fallen debris off her face and chest. “I did not see that coming.”

Alicia sighs in relief and feels her body finally release the tension that had built up in the few seconds that Elyza had vanished through the floor. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, love,” Elyza soothes. She stands, stretches her back with a grunt and scans the room she currently occupies. “This is a loft. An occupied loft by the looks of it. Owners must still be living here. That’d explain why the store’s still intact. But where are they? No way they didn’t hear that crash,” Elyza mutters mostly to herself. She pulls out one of her twin blades and disappears into the darkness.

Alicia squints and shifts, trying to get a view of the Aussie, and she can just make out the silhouette of the woman as she carefully inspects the room. After only a minute, Elyza returns to the hole, blade sheathed and finally looks up at Alicia with her signature grin. “Care to join me?”

She opens her arms comically wide, and Alicia just shakes her head as she swings her legs over the edge of the hole. With a little recklessness and a lot of faith in the woman below her, Alicia hefts herself over the edge, landing heavily, but safely on her feet, steadied by the strong arms of Elyza.

Alicia squints into the darkness, allowing her eyes a moment to adjust to the new light. They were clearly standing in a living area, most likely owned by the person who ran the shop below. Alicia walks cautiously towards a door that’s cracked open just a bit. She places her hand on her golok, ready to draw the instant trouble presents itself. The hallway is short with a few doors on either side.

Alicia takes a couple of steps toward the door on her left and suddenly brings her arm to her face, burrowing her nose in the crook of her elbow. She glances over her shoulder to Elyza who mirrors her gesture, looking equally as curious and confused as Alicia feels.

The stench of rotting flesh overwhelms her senses as she masochistically pushes the door open.

Alicia gasps at the sight before her and nearly recoils, but Elyza stands by her side, a calming hand on the small of her back. The blonde presses forward into the bedroom and carefully extracts the small note lying on the chest of the rotting woman. Elyza skims the note, a hint of despair in her eyes before handing it Alicia. Alicia looks over the bodies once more, thoroughly taking in their position before reading the note. The couple lies on their backs, each with a gunshot wound to their temples, the note rested on the chest of the woman while a revolver lies just inches from the man’s hand. Alicia feels the tears burn behind her eyes, as she sees the dead couple’s hands intertwined in a grasp not even death could break.

She struggles to keep a firm grasp on her emotions as she reads the note in her hand.

 

_We did our best. Four months. Didn’t seem worth it once Artie was gone. Parents aren’t supposed to bury their children. We’re not built for that._

_If anyone reads this, help yourself to anything in the store. We won’t be needing it any longer. Just do us a favor and maybe remember our names. We didn’t do anything worth remembering in this life, but maybe, if just one person reads this... If just one person remembers our names, if only for a minute, it won’t feel so empty._

_Take care,  
_ _Carlos, Leticia and Arturo Ruíz_

 

Alicia crumples note in her hand and jumps at the sudden touch on her back. She didn’t notice Elyza reading over her shoulder, she was so engrossed in the note in her hand.

“Found a kid in the bathroom. Bite mark on his arm, bullet hole in his brain. Must have been Artie.”

Alicia nods and brings the note to her chest. She takes a moment to commit the names to memory and carefully unfolds the crumpled paper in her hand. She holds her breath and gently lays the paper back on the chest of the woman. Maybe someone else will find this little shop. Maybe more than Elyza and herself will remember Carlos, Leticia, and Artie.

Alicia ambles back to the door and follows Elyza blindly to the stairs near the back wall. They make their way to the shop floor quickly.

“Solder wire. We’re looking for solder wire,” Elyza repeats. Alicia sighs and sets her mind to the task, eager to calm her racing mind of the visions of that couple putting down their only son.

She’s combing through aisle after aisle when she whips her head towards the blonde near the front of the shop.

“God bless Texas,” Elyza mutters reverentially. She stands from behind the checkout counter cradling a pump action shotgun in her right hand. Elyza grins at Alicia and raises her left hand that currently grips a ten-inch bowie knife. “Look at this shotgun, love! And there’s two boxes of shells here. Two full boxes! And this, this beauty. Oh, have you ever seen something so gorgeous in your life? It’s a full tang. Alicia, love, a full tang! I love Texans.”

Alicia drops her shoulders in annoyance at the Aussie and dramatically rolls her eyes. The movement causes her to freeze as she spots something out of the corner of her eye. Alicia strides to the end of the aisle and triumphantly raises the spool of solder in the air. Elyza grins at her, still cradling the shotgun and knife.

“Good on ya, love! Looks like we got everything we need. And check it out!” Elyza sets her new shotgun down with loving gentleness and jingles a set of keys in the air. “Care to wager what these keys open?”

“I’m hoping the front door,” Alicia deadpans, stuffing several spools into her shoulder pack before making her way to the front of the store with Elyza.

“Well, this one right here has a nifty little tag on it that says ‘front door,’ so I think you may be right, love.”

Alicia leans in and places a sweet kiss on Elyza’s lips and uses the distraction to snatch the keys out of her hand. With a wink to her open-mouthed Aussie, Alicia slides the labeled key into the lock, holds her breath and turns. She releases the air from her lungs as the click of the deadbolt echoes in the little shop. She holds the door open for Elyza, expecting her to exit.

Alicia does a double take when no one crosses the doorway. She leans her head back into the store to find Elyza hunched in the corner. “Hey, what are you doing?” Alicia calls quietly into the shop. She turns her head back towards the street, checking her surroundings for the dead. She looks back into the store and startles at the sight of a shotgun in her face.

“Jesus, Elyza. Seriously, how are you so silent?”

“Sorry, love. Look!” Elyza holds the shotgun out again, a childlike grin on her face. The blonde has used a couple of s-carabiners to fasten a length of braided nylon rope to either side of the shotgun creating a strap. Alicia raises her eyebrows and gives Elyza a little smirk as the Aussie easily slings the weapon over her shoulder.

“Are you ready now?”

“Oh, hold up.” Elyza races back into the shop and stands in front of the back wall, her hand grazing over the items quickly. She snags once off the hooks and races back to Alicia, buckling the new belt into place just underneath her old belt. Elyza slides the considerable bowie knife into the loop originally designed for a hammer. The weapon rests easily in place, and Elyza fills the utility pocket with shotgun shells.

“Is that safe?” Alicia motions towards the very exposed blade currently dangling on Elyza’s left hip.

Elyza steps into Alicia’s personal space and teasingly runs her hand up Alicia’s arm. “As tempting as it is, love,” she whispers into Alicia’s ear. The warm breath sends shivers up Alicia’s spine, and she instinctively closes her eyes at the sensation. “Just don’t run your fingers up my leg until I make a proper sheath for this beaut.” Elyza steps back and Alicia flutters her eyes open at the sudden lack of closeness. She glowers at the smirking woman in front of her and huffs before exiting the store once again.

Elyza follows her this time, and Alicia closes and locks the shop. “Doesn’t hurt to lock it up. We might need to come back sometime.” Alicia answers Elyza’s question before it leaves her mouth. She stuffs the keychain into her shoulder pack before mounting the Spyder. As Elyza settles into the seat, Alicia pulls the bowie knife from her belt and carefully tucks it into her pack. The blonde is about to protest when Alicia just shakes her head. “That thing was less than an inch from my leg. One pothole and you’d be the one stitching me up this time.”

“Fair point, well made,” Elyza shrugs as she turns the engine over. The pair only makes it to the end of the street before Elyza is pulling to a stop. Alicia looks over the Aussie’s shoulder to see a massive horde ambling towards them.

“Bloody hell. We’re not getting home that way.”

“Do you know another way back?”

“Do you even know who you’re talking to, love? I memorized the map ages ago. Scenic route, here we come.”

Elyza skillfully turns the Spyder around, and the women ride off in the opposite direction they came. Alicia grips Elyza’s waist and presses as close as she can to her, mildly annoyed at the shotgun in between them. She breathes in the smell of leather and Elyza as she presses her cheek in between Elyza’s shoulder blades, and closes her eyes, just enjoying being wrapped around the beautiful woman on this beautiful day.

After several minutes, the pair makes it to an old dirt road, one Alicia has never seen before but is confident her Aussie knows where she’s taking them. Alicia sits upright as she feels said Aussie tense under her grip. Alicia whips her head around, trying to see over Elyza’s shoulder as the Spyder slows to a stop hidden behind an abandoned tractor. Elyza hops off and peers around the oversized tire as Alicia sneaks beside her.

“I don’t believe it,” Elyza whispers.

“What?”

Elyza huffs in disbelief and leans back, allowing Alicia to peer around her. There, in the near distance are half a dozen motorcycles with half a dozen Proctors clad in their signature vests and jackets striding towards an old wooden building. Alicia squints, reading the sign tacked above the door.

“Do you think they know we’re here? Have they found our home?” Alicia leans up against the tire, her eyes wide, as she addresses her girlfriend.

“I doubt it, love. Papa Proctor would have sent more if he knew we were here. Those blokes are probably just passing through, saw the bar and decided to get pissed. But that’s not really what I wanted you to see. Look again.”

Alicia looks back around the tire, trying to decipher what Elyza was talking about. “There, on the end. Right by that old lamp post,” her slightly raspy voice whispers in Alicia’s ear.

Alicia gasps and turns back towards the blonde. “No way.”

“Yes, way. My baby.”

Alicia peers back once more, and sure enough, there sits a sparkling black Harley Davidson motorcycle complete with the two saddlebags and the shotgun holster attached to the front wheel. She turns back and grimaces at the sight before her. Elyza has a determined little half smile on her face and a devilish twinkle in her eye.

“You want to steal it back, don’t you?” Alicia groans.

“It’s not stealing when she was mine to begin with.”

“I don’t know about you, but I don’t exactly know how to hotwire a bike, and I’m pretty sure they aren’t dumb enough to leave the keys.”

Elyza winks and reaches into the inner breast pocket of her jacket and pulls out a single key.

“You kept the spare?”

“Deadset. Gotta be prepared, love.”

Alicia can’t help the grin and giggle that leaves her mouth. This woman really is something else. She throws her hands up in defeat, “Okay, you win. How do you want to do this?”

Elyza practically hops up and down with excitement as she places a quick kiss to Alicia’s cheek.

\-- 

Alicia crouches down behind the large hay bale, her back pressed against the straw, her head tilted just enough so she can watch the scene unfold. She knows the plan, and she only hopes everything goes smooth enough so she doesn’t actually have to implement said plan.

The breath in her throat hitches as she watches Elyza sneak soundlessly closer and closer to the motorcycle. Her gaze shifts towards the front of the roadside dive, anxiously scanning for any signs of movement. She tenses, putting her attention back on the blonde. Elyza has made it safely to her Harley and has already kicked up the kickstand and started walking it slowly away. The blonde suddenly halts her movements and ducks down behind her bike.

Alicia snaps her gaze towards the building but turns, confused, back towards Elyza. No Proctors had exited. Alicia’s eyes widen as she sees what caused Elyza to hide. Five corpses toddle towards the bar, dangerously close to Elyza’s hiding place. Alicia squints and just makes out that Elyza has propped up the bike on its kickstand and has unsheathed both her twin blades.

Abandoning her hiding spot and screwing the plan, Alicia sprints towards Elyza, unsheathing her machete in between strides. She cuts down the first dead without a backwards glance and practically leaps into the air, sinking the tip of her blade into the second walker’s skull. The body slumps to the ground as Alicia turns to see Elyza, standing, her arms outstretched, her hands wrapped around her twin blades in an ice pick grip, with the blades sunk deep within the tops of two corpses’ skulls. Elyza pulls the blades out forcefully causing a trail of blood to fly through the air, and Alicia fleetingly wonders how in the hell that 5’5’’ woman was able to sink her blades into the tops of the walkers’ heads.

Alicia doesn’t have time to really contemplate the physics involved in that impressive corpse kill as the last of the threat reaches his rotting hands towards her. Alicia swings her machete through the air, cutting the outstretched arms off at the elbow. She then slowly presses the tip of her blade into the eye socket of the dead, only pulling it out after the body sags to the ground.

Alicia’s chest heaves as she catches her breath, her body both worn out from the physical fight and the emotional one. She gasps as she feels a warm hand wrap around her armed wrist.

“Time to go, love,” Elyza commands, as she pulls Alicia towards the Harley. Alicia glances up at the bar in time to see the Proctors stumble out, two at a time. Their faces turn from shock to anger as they process the dead bodies littering the ground and the blonde and brunette women hopping onto the back of a Harley. Elyza wastes no time in starting the engine, and Alicia has to wrap her arms around the woman even tighter as they race away from the pursuing Proctors.

Alicia holds her body close to Elyza as the pair whip through the streets, back the way they came. The roar of several motorcycles pierces her ears as Elyza twists the throttle speeding up their escape. She turns down road after road, never going straight for more than a minute. After what seems to be forever, Alicia can no longer hear the roar of any engine but their own. She turns her head slightly, glancing behind her shoulder to find no one. No tails. Elyza lost them. She gives the woman a tight squeeze, hoping to convey that they are no longer being followed, and she can ease off on the gas a little.

Elyza gets the message, and Alicia takes a deep breath as they slow to a more manageable pace. Alicia notices that Elyza still turns more often than needed to make it back to the nursery and smirks into her shoulder blades. This woman may be a moron, but she’s the smartest moron she knows. Elyza continues to take the most roundabout way back to the nursery as humanly possible, making damn sure no one is following them.

\-- 

By the time the pair makes it back to Good Thymes, the sun is already making its descent towards the horizon. Nick holds open the gate with a confused look on his face as Elyza brings her bike to a stop in the Spyder’s old parking space.

“You lost a wheel,” Nick states to Elyza as he takes Alicia’s pack for her. Elyza walks towards him and unzips the pack, pulling out a spool of solder wire. She plops it in Nick’s hand unceremoniously.

“Get this to 2.0. If he works quick enough, we can get an hour or so of charge time before the sun sets.”

“Okay,” Nick answers with his eyes wide and a tiny shrug. He turns to Alicia. “Is she okay?” He motions to Elyza with a tiny nod of his head.

“I think so. I don’t know. We ran into some Proctors. They had her bike.” Alicia watches as her brother fills in the blanks and both turn to look at Elyza who is currently unloading a saddlebag. The contents pile by her feet as she digs to the bottom of the bag. She huffs and moves to the other side, repeating her actions. Alicia can see that most of her supplies are miraculously still there. She spies the familiar siphon, the first aid kit, the bag of 9mm ammunition, a couple of books, and even Elyza’s iPod, speakers, and solar charger.

Nick shrugs and makes his way over to the farmhouse, clearly losing interest in the blonde’s behavior, but Alicia remains where she is. Second saddlebag empty, Elyza drops her head in defeat, and just as Alicia is about to take a step towards her, Elyza bursts forward, kicking the back tire, hard. Alicia freezes in place, as Elyza continues to kick, her breathing becoming more and more ragged as the tears begin to fall down her cheeks.

Alicia rushes to the woman and wraps her arms around her, holding her in place. Elyza fights for only a moment but soon sinks into the embrace. Alicia turns the woman around, wiping a few of the tears from her cheeks as she holds Elyza’s face in her hands.

“Shh, it’s okay. It’s okay. You’re okay,” Alicia whispers. She pulls the sobbing woman to her shoulder and just rubs her back, giving her a safe space for as long as she needs. As much as it’s killing Alicia to not know why Elyza is breaking down, she knows the woman will tell her when she’s ready. Sometimes, people just need a good cry.

Alicia continues to hold Elyza close until she feels the woman begin to relax. With a final sob, Elyza pulls back slowly. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. You don't need to apologize. It's okay,” Alicia soothes. She places a soft kiss to Elyza’s forehead.

 "It’s just… I had something in there, and it’s not there anymore. I know it sounds bloody stupid, but-”

Alicia can see that the woman is about to break down again, and although she was going to wait to show Elyza her surprise, now seems as good a time as any. Alicia brings her hands back to Elyza’s face and caresses her cheek, wiping away the lone tear that falls. “Hey, it’s okay. You can tell me about it later, when you're ready. I actually have something I want to show you. If you’re up for it.”

The words have their intended effect on Elyza as she stills and looks into Alicia’s eyes. She offers her a barely-there smile and curious nod, so Alicia drops her hand and intertwines their fingers. Alicia leads them through the nursery towards the back fence.

“Close your eyes,” Alicia commands calmly. Elyza doesn’t hesitate and does as she’s told, and Alicia leads her to the petite gate that separates the nursery from the little vegetable garden. She presses gently on Elyza’s shoulders, silently telling her to stay put, and makes her way to the gate.

“Okay,” Alicia breathes out, suddenly nervous. “Open your eyes.” Alicia stands still and watches the realization flood the blonde’s beautiful face. Her eyes flicker from the plants surrounding the garden gate and back to Alicia. Alicia holds her breath, unable to read Elyza’s face.

“Is this…?” Elyza starts, bewildered. She reaches her hand out and caresses the plant.

“Rosemary,” Alicia nods, her voice a little scratchy with nerves. “By the garden gate. And,” Alicia gestures towards the two plants to her right. “I planted roses and lavender, for luck.”

“Alicia, this is…” Elyza falters. She shakes her head with a watery smile and wraps her arms around Alicia’s neck. Alicia sighs in relief and returns the embrace. She is about to say something when Elyza pulls away suddenly. “Wait, is this why I’ve been banned from the vegetable garden? I thought it was because of the turnip incident?”

Alicia chuckles at the sudden shift in tone and cocks her head to the side as she laughs. “Partially the turnip incident, partially because you have a secret romantic for a girlfriend,” Alicia smiles. “Look I know it’s really cheesy, but so are all you life lessons. I mean, I thought you were crazy when you first told that story. And you wouldn’t tell me the fifth and final lesson to live by. But I finished the book. I know what it is. Why didn’t you want to tell me then?”

“Because I just met you, and I could already feel myself falling. Alicia, love,” Elyza grabs both of Alicia’s hands in her own and squeezes gently. “I knew the minute you twirled your balisong at me that I was done for. But I didn’t want to be. Love gets you killed in this world. So no. I didn’t want to add ‘Fall in love whenever you can’ to my list of lessons I live by. Not then.”

“And now?”

“You know what I think now.”

“I do. I just like to hear you say it.”

Elyza gives her that smirk and shakes her head slightly. Alicia gulps as Elyza’s face falls from that teasing smile to a look so soft and vulnerable, that Alicia has to fight the urge to wrap this woman up in her arms and never let her go.

“Jag älskar dig, Alicia.”

\-- 

“Oy, 2.0! You get the panels fixed?”

Loren sets the tray of brownies down next to Alicia who eagerly takes two. She hands one to Elyza, before taking a slow bite, sighing as the decadent taste of chocolate explodes over her tongue.

“I did. No thanks to you,” the man teases.

“Hey, I got you the solder wire you needed, didn’t I?” Elyza retorts, brandishing her half-eaten brownie like a weapon.

“Technically, Alicia found it,” Loren comments, taking a seat next to Elyza. “And you promised to help me solder when you got back.”

Elyza throws her free arm around Alicia’s shoulder and pulls her close. “How could I have known that my wonderfully sappy, bleeding heart of a girlfriend was going to surprise me with the cheesiest, most amazing gesture taken straight out of one of my favorite books of all time?”

Loren beams towards the couple. “She finally showed you the garden?”

“She did,” Elyza winks.

Loren grins stupidly at them for a moment before his eyes go wide with fear. He leans forward, addressing Alicia seriously. “You didn’t let her actually enter the garden, did you?”

“No,” Alicia shakes her head and uses her hands for emphasis. “I was under strict orders not to. Your turnips are safe.”

Loren leans back with a heavy sigh, placing his hand over his apparent racing heart. “Oh, thank god.”

Laughter erupts around the firepit, and Alicia’s heart warms at the sound. She can feel Elyza tense next to her, but she places her hand on her knee and gives it a little squeeze. Elyza looks up into her eyes and winks before joining in. The giggle-fest lasts only another moment before Madison stands up, her glass of water in hand.

“A speech from our fearless leader!” Strand’s elegant voice echoes over the crackling fire.

“Speech!” Luciana echoes. “Speech!” Nick continues the chant until every voice adds to the song.

Madison rolls her eyes and shakes her head, “Oh, shut up. All of you.”

The group quiets, and Alicia leans further into Elyza’s side. The blonde responds by adjusting her grip around her, pulling Alicia into her shoulder.

“I just wanted to say thank you. To everyone. We’ve worked hard, and this place is now a home.”

“Hear, hear!” Strand calls raising his flask in the air.

“And I personally would like to thank Elyza. I know we had a rough start, but without you, I’m not sure we’d have Alicia here with us, and I’m damn sure we wouldn’t have this place. And Loren, you already know how we feel about you, but it’s time we make it official. Elyza, Loren, welcome to the family. You’re stuck with us, whether you like it or not.”

Elyza raises her cup to Madison, and Alicia grins into her shoulder. She leans up and places a quick kiss to Elyza’s blushing cheek.

Madison clears her throat and drops the small grin she was sporting. “Okay, enough with the sentiments. Radios are finally charged. Everyone has one in their rooms. You know the channel. Nick, Luciana, y’all have first watch.”

Nick stands, bringing Luciana to her feet, and intertwines their hands. As they pass Elyza, Nick places his free hand on her shoulder, giving her a little pat and a smile.

“Ready to go to bed?” Elyza whispers suggestively in Alicia’s ear.

“Always.”

\-- 

Alicia rolls over on the warm mattress. She reaches her arm blindly into the dark and smiles when she comfortably slides it around Elyza’s waist. Her smile quickly fades when she hears the sound that must have woken her.

The static clicks of the radio fill the cozy shed with unnerving dread. Alicia freezes; her eyes snap open as she waits. The tension in her body wakes the slumbering blonde next to her.

“Alicia, love, what’s wrong?” Elyza grumbles sleepily.

Both women sit straight up, not even bothering to keep the blanket from falling down their exposed skin. “Everybody up. Get out here now,” her mother’s voice commands over the radio.

Alicia swings her legs over the side of the mattress and within seconds is dressed and out the door. Nick and Luciana stumble from the farmhouse followed closely by Strand. Alicia meets them halfway and all look up to the roof. Loren and Madison stand, intently looking in the distance with the scopes of their rifles. Alicia turns towards their gaze. The privacy cloth draped around the fence prevents her from seeing anything, but it only takes a moment for her to hear the threat.

Her heart drops to the pit of her stomach as the thunderous roar of motorcycle engines nearly drowns out the stomach-churning groan of the dead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Random question: have any of you translated Elyza's Swedish confessions of love, or are you all just trusting me that they're exceedingly heartfelt and rather romantic?


	13. Crash and Burn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As we head into these final chapters, I'd like to remind you all of my note at the beginning of this fic. I hope that doesn't deter most of you from finishing the story, but I just felt obligated to give a little warning, I guess.
> 
> Anyway, here we go!

“Where’s Elyza?” Nick turns to Alicia with a wild look in his eyes.

“What? I don’t know. I thought she was right behind me.” Alicia turns to her left and right, searching for the blonde.

“Hey!” Madison calls down from the roof. “You know the drill. Arm up. Pack up. Let’s go!”

Nick sighs with a sudden realization and squeezes Alicia’s shoulder before sprinting back into the farmhouse, Luciana and Strand leading the way. Alicia shakes her head at his odd behavior but doesn’t allow herself to dwell on it. She gives a final glance up at her mother before racing over to the shed.

Throwing the door open, Alicia immediately lunges for her stash of weapons. As she clips her pistol and machete into place, she glances around the tiny room. Elyza is nowhere to be seen. Her weapons are gone, and the pack she usually carries is missing. Alicia tucks her balisong into her boot, throws her own pack over her shoulder, and clips the radio securely to her belt before making her way back outside.

Alicia makes her way to the porch of the farmhouse just as Strand exits.

“Is Elyza in there with you?” she asks him hurriedly. He shakes his head quickly. “She’s not here?” Alicia panics. She was sure she’d find Elyza here, packing away extra food and supplies from the main house. She’s about to turn on her heel and search the nursery for the blonde when her radio clicks.

“We count 8 headlights. Proctors from the looks of it. We can handle that. Too many dead to count.” Madison’s voice hisses through the static. Alicia brings the radio level with her face about to respond when an ear-piercing bang echoes into the still night. She stumbles from the porch and looks up as another gunshot rings in her ears.

Madison shoulders her rifle firmly as she fires yet again into the distance. The accompanying screech and thuds of metal and rubber, a telltale sign of a multi-vehicle crash, are far too close for comfort. She dashes towards the ladder desperate to at least get a view of the dangers they are about to confront when she halts in place at the roar of a Harley Davidson motorcycle engine.

Alicia whips around in time to see Elyza tear through the gate, Loren perched behind her, gripping her waist. She stands frozen, her heart racing, her eyes wide with shock. The world goes silent as she watches her Aussie drive away without her. Again.

Alicia stands unmoving, numb as a marble statue, until her mother is suddenly standing in front of her mouthing something hurriedly. She shakes her head, trying to concentrate on the woman in front of her.

“Alicia, Alicia! Time to go. We have to go, now.” Madison wraps her hand around Alicia’s bicep and pulls her forcefully towards the truck parked near the back gate. She looks up to see Luciana already standing at the driver’s side door, motioning wildly for them to hurry. Nick and Strand are just visible inside the cab when Alicia finally snaps out of her stupor. She stops dead in her tracks.

“Elyza.”

Madison pulls on Alicia’s arm again, urging her forward, but she remains standing firm in place. “Elyza left with Loren.”

“Why?” she spits at her mother. The shuffle and moans of the dead grow louder as they approach, some even reaching the chain link fence, rattling it as they try to break through.

Madison sighs and tugs again on Alicia’s arm. “Baby, we have to go.”

“No,” Alicia snaps. She shrugs out of her mother’s firm grasp and narrows her eyes at the woman. “Tell me why.”

“This was always the plan,” Madison relents.

“What plan?”

“Alicia,” her mother shakes her head. “We don’t have time for this. We need to leave. I took out the Proctors, but there are too many dead. We’re going to be overrun.”

Alicia knows deep down that she should just leave with her mother. It’s the logical thing to do, but the completely illogical emotional part of her brain is firing ten times faster, demanding answers as to why, quite possibly the love of her life, would leave her willingly. “No. You’re going to tell me where Elyza went,” Alicia demands coldly. “Right now!”

“They’re the bait.”

“Bait? Mom, what? Why?”

“It was her idea. When she came to me, Loren overheard and volunteered too. Alicia, baby, they’re giving us a chance. Let’s not waste their sacrifice.”

“Sacrifice? No. We can’t let them. No!” Alicia begins her full on panic. She shrugs out of her mother’s feeble attempts to grab her and takes a few hasty steps backwards. The fire in her eyes burns as intensely as the anger in her chest as she watches Madison glance towards the truck, giving silent permission to someone Alicia can’t see.

It’s only a moment before big strong arms are wrapping around her and practically carrying her towards the cab of the truck. “Come on, Little Clark. We’ve got you,” Strand tries to soothe gently as Alicia tries desperately to break free.

“No! Let go of me!” Alicia thrashes and screams ferally as Nick helps Strand force her into the truck. Strand releases her and slams the door shut, hopping into the bed of the truck with Madison.

Nick crawls next to her, trying to calm her down. He wraps his arms around her, holding her in place. “Alicia, she knows where to meet us. She’s going to be okay.”

Alicia’s eyes go wide with realization and anger. She turns in her brother’s arms as the car bounces to life. “You knew too? You all knew? Why didn’t you tell me?” she snarls, the tears now prickling rudely behind her eyes.

“She asked us not to,” Nick pleads. “She knew you wouldn’t let her leave.”

“You’re right; I wouldn’t have!” Alicia snaps. She shakes her head and lets the tears finally fall down her face. “And you shouldn’t have either.”

“I’m sorry,” Nick whispers as the truck rolls towards the rear gate. Alicia crawls to the window and presses her face against it, searching for any sign of Elyza.

She suddenly stills as her throat runs dry, and her heart, which had been beating in the pit of her stomach starts to race with the sudden onset of fear. The truck comes to a stop as dozens of dead surround them. She can just make out the sounds of bones crunching and blood and brain squelching as her mother and Strand dispatch of as many as they can, exposed in the bed of the truck.

“Why’d you stop?” Nick turns to Luciana.

“There are too many. I can’t drive through this. The truck already has trouble on this grass. It’ll get stuck if there are bodies beneath it,” she whispers through gritted teeth.

A bright light suddenly appears not a hundred feet in front of them followed quickly by an ear-shattering boom. Alicia whips her head towards the sound, as do the majority of the horde. A motorcycle is perfectly backlit as it drives away from the mini-bomb that was just detonated.

As the horde thins, distracted by the loud explosion, Luciana inches the truck forward. The noise of the truck keeps the attention of more than a few, but just when the decaying hands and nipping jaws begin to overwhelm the truck again, the roar of a Harley reverberates in the air like a savior’s song. Alicia watches wide-eyed as Elyza skillfully rides along the horde, firing her shotgun, exploding heads as she passes. Loren grips a pistol in one hand, dispatching of more as the bike does its intended job and catches the attention of the dead.

Elyza drives slow enough for the corpses to amble towards her, allowing Luciana the space to escape the mass of bodies. Alicia presses her face to the window, her heart leaping to her throat as the blonde catches her gaze and gives her that devilish smirk and wink. Elyza breaks the moment, turning her head back towards the path in front of her.

Alicia keeps her eyes trained on the blonde hair as Elyza races around the dead covered field. Alicia’s breath catches in her throat as Elyza swerves her bike harshly to avoid a corpse lunging towards her. The angle is too severe, and the bike drops, throwing its riders to the ground. Alicia cranes her neck, banging on the glass, as the truck edges further and further away, and the dead inch closer and closer to Elyza.

“Elyza!” Alicia screams pointlessly into the cab. Nick grabs her shoulders, keeping her firmly in place. A thud and thump, shake the truck, but Alicia not daring to break her gaze, doesn’t look back. She keeps her eyes locked on the blonde as she begins to pull the bike up, swinging her shotgun around in the process.

“Madison! No!”

Alicia finally glances back to see Strand, his face a picture of shock, his hands reaching out, land heavily on the bed of the truck as her mother jumps off.

“Mom!” Nick yells. Alicia turns her head back towards the window and watches helplessly as Madison pulls out her pistol and fires into the path ahead of her. Luciana continues to drive slowly away, but Alicia readjusts, desperate to know that her family is safe. Elyza pumps the shotgun faster than Alicia has ever seen, the shots echoing loudly in the night. Madison makes it to the bike just as Luciana turns a corner. The last sight Alicia sees is her mother pulling Loren to his feet, Elyza blindly handing the bowie knife to Madison, and all three firing and slashing into the horde that surrounds them.

“We have to go back!” Alicia yells, as the truck finally breaks free from the horde. “Luciana. Turn around. We have to go back.” Alicia sits in shock as Luciana and Nick stare straight ahead, not even bothering to address her.

“What’s wrong with you? They need our help! Go back.” Alicia shakes her head furiously. “Fine,” she mutters. If they aren’t going to turn around, she’s going to take matters into her own hands. She pops the lock on the back door and grabs the handle. She barely cracks the door open when she feels Nick pull her wrist, effectively shutting the door.

“Don’t,” he says simply.

“Nick-”

“They know where to find us. Mom’s been through worse situations than that. Elyza too. They’ll make it. But if we go back there…” he trails off and takes a steadying breath. “We can’t go back.”

Alicia slumps back into the bench seat and throws her head back in despair, the tears hot against her already flushed skin. In just under ten minutes she’s potentially lost her friend, her mother, and the love of her life. And she didn’t do a single thing to stop it.

\-- 

“How long did you know about this?” Alicia stalks towards her brother in a furious rage, her eyes red and burning with anger and tears. Nick takes a few steps backwards, his hands raised in surrender.

“Alicia-” he tries to soothe but is instantly interrupted.

“How long?” Alicia repeats coldly.

Nick sighs and shakes his head. “Mom told us Elyza’s plan the night after we arrived at the nursery. She’s had this backup plan since the beginning.”

“And you agreed,” Alicia snaps. It isn’t a question. Alicia jumps straight over denial and headfirst into anger at the thought that everyone knew, and not just knew, was okay with Elyza and Loren, and now her mother, sacrificing themselves just so they could escape.

“That’s not fair, and you know it,” Nick retorts, standing straighter. “Elyza’s going to do what she wants. There’s no changing her mind.”

Alicia chooses to ignore that correct assessment, still blinded by worry and potential grief to listen to reason. “And Mom leaping off the truck, was that part of the plan too?”

“No, it wasn’t.”

Four heads whip towards the front door of the tucked away cabin, as Elyza stands hunched over supporting a very bloody Loren. “Your mother was not supposed to do that, love.”

Luciana, closest to the door, wraps her arm around Loren’s waist and helps him to the chair in the corner. “What happened?”

“Leg got tangled under my bike when we dropped. Not sure how bad it is,” Elyza explains as she helps Loren sit. The man winces in obvious pain as he tries to keep his left leg straight while gripping at this left hip.

With Loren situated as comfortably as possible for the moment, Elyza locks eyes with Alicia. The blonde visibly shrinks at the burning sight she’s met with.

Alicia crosses the short distance to Elyza in an instant. “Alicia, love-” Elyza starts, but whatever apology she’s about to utter is lost as Alicia slams into her, wrapping her in a fierce embrace. She tenses her muscles, squeezing far harder than necessary, but needing that confirmation that Elyza is real, and alive, and standing there before her.

“How could you do that?” Alicia mumbles into Elyza’s soft hair. “How could you do that to me?”

“I did it to save you,” Elyza whispers as she wraps her own arms around Alicia just as fiercely.

“You should have told me.”

“You wouldn’t have let me go if I did.”

Alicia finally releases the death grip on Elyza and pulls back, looking her square in the eyes. “You told everyone else. You lied to me. You said you wouldn’t leave me unless I asked you to.” Tears of betrayal, relief, and love, stream down Alicia’s cheeks. “You didn’t even say goodbye.”

“Alicia,” Elyza soothes. She cups Alicia’s cheek, catching the fat tears in her palm as they fall. “I’m here. I’m alive. You’re alive.”

Alicia nods and gives a watery half smile. She suddenly pulls her arm back, curls her hand into a fist and punches the blonde firmly in her left shoulder. “Don’t do that again.”

Elyza smiles and places a quick kiss to Alicia’s cheek. “No promises on that, love. It’s pretty clear I’m well past doing bloody stupid things for the woman I love.”

Alicia lets out a stifled chuckle before turning around, searching the tiny cabin at the sudden realization. “Where’s my mom?”

Elyza’s own smile falters as her eyes scan the room as well. “She hasn’t made it back yet?”

Alicia shakes her head as her heart drops back into the pit of her stomach, the very place it should just maintain a permanent residence with the way things were currently going.

Elyza takes a deep breath and walks over to Loren, who is currently hissing through his gritted teeth as Luciana does her best to clean the giant bleeding gash on his left leg. “We got out of the horde alright. Loren here,” Elyza places her hand gently on the man’s shoulder and smiles warmly at him. “Pulled some seriously stupid heroic antics, even with his bum leg there. Physically held off a couple of dead as I restarted the bike. It was damn impressive. Stupid, as I said. But impressive.”

“Had to keep up with you and Madison. Couldn’t let you ladies be the only ones pulling crazy self-sacrificing stunts tonight,” Loren laughs weakly.

Elyza shakes her head at the man, but Alicia can see the twinkle of respect and fondness hidden in those blue eyes. “Right, well, the three of us climbed on the bike. It was a bit dodgy there, balancing three on my baby, but we made it to the road. Your mother and Loren deserve medals for their bloody brilliant shooting. Cleared us a path.”

Elyza sighs and plops down on the sofa next to Loren, leaning her body against the arm of the couch to keep her hand on Loren’s shoulder. “Once we made it to the intersection, Madison hopped off, and I was able to hotwire one of those abandoned cars there. We decided to take separate ways here, just in case someone was following. I gave her the short route, kept the long one for myself and Loren here.” Elyza turns to Alicia, her brows knitted in worry. “I expected her to be back before us.”

“There’s no reason to believe she won’t be back soon,” Luciana suddenly states, sitting down next to Elyza. “If Madison said she’ll meet us here, she will.”

“We stick to the plan,” Strand confirms with tight-lipped determination. “Wait through the night. If she hasn’t returned, we move on. That’s always been the plan.”

Alicia remains silent as she watches the group in front of her. Strand leans against the back wall, his head thrown back, staring at nothing on the ceiling. Loren slumps in his chair, grimacing through clenched teeth. Elyza sits on the couch next to him, her hand still firmly placed on his shoulder. Luciana sits on the other side of the couch, her hand grasping Nick’s as he squeezes her bicep. Every single face in front of her is wrought with anxious worry, and Alicia can’t help to feel it too. Her mother needs to be okay. This group, this family, needs their leader.

Alicia’s brought from her mind with the grunts and hisses of pain. All eyes turn to Loren as he grips his left hip. Blood seeps from the gaps in his fingers as Alicia rushes to kneel in front of him. She places her hand on the hem of his shirt, about to lift when Loren’s right hand grasps hers firmly. She looks up into his big brown eyes and sees the usual warmth and kindness replaced with wide-eyed terror and sorrow.

Alicia closes her eyes tightly and swallows the lump in her throat. She knows what this means. With as much tenderness as she can manage, Alicia opens her eyes and gives her friend a gentle smile. He releases her hand and allows her to lift his shirt. Her breath hitches in her throat as her thoughts are confirmed. A large gaping bite mark adorns Loren’s left abdomen. The wound oozes fresh blood with every jagged breath he takes. Alicia places her hand over the wound, a simple gesture of comfort, and she can already feel the intense fever pulsing through Loren’s body.

“Will you do it?” Loren pleads softly.

Alicia attempts to pull her hand away from his wound, but he grasps it before she can move. He keeps her hand pressed against his burning skin and looks deep into her eyes. “Please,” he begs.

Alicia chokes back the tears threatening to escape and offers him the best smile she can. “Okay,” she manages. “Yes, I’ll do it.”

Loren sighs in relief and leans back in the chair, finally letting go of Alicia’s hand. She leans back on her heels and gazes over at the rest of the group. Nick and Strand can’t bear to look at Loren, instead content to stare at the floor in sorrow, while Luciana gazes at Loren, not bothering to hide the tears as they stain her cheeks.

Elyza looks at Alicia only, her face perfectly composed, not a trace of emotion visible. Alicia worries her bottom lip, trying to remain as strong as possible as she stands back a few feet to allow the group to say their goodbyes. Alicia respectfully turns away, allowing as much privacy as she can to each person. She rummages through the first aid kit, sighing in relief as she pulls out a single morphine dose.

Alicia quirks her head in interest as she sees out of the corner of her eye the blonde lean into Loren for a soft hug. Elyza places a gentle kiss to Loren’s cheek, and Alicia can hear a perfectly whispered, “I’m so sorry, Loren. I should have done better for you. You don’t deserve this, mate.”

Loren smiles gently. “It’s not your fault, so don’t go blaming yourself for this, Elyza. It was my choice to follow you, and my choice to fight. And I’d do it all just the same if I had the chance.”

Elyza’s shoulders shudder as she chokes back her tears, and Alicia steps forward, wrapping a comforting arm around her waist. Elyza shrugs out of the embrace, not bothering to look Alicia in the eye as she sulks to the back of the cabin.

Loren gives a sad smirk to Alicia, groaning as he stands, his weight entirely on his right leg. “Outside? I don’t want them to see.”

Alicia nods and steps close to Loren, wrapping her arm around his waist. He leans a good amount of weight on her as they hobble out the front door. The sun is rising, casting a beautiful orange glow on the open expanse of Texas landscape in front of them, and Alicia can feel the sigh escape Loren’s chest. “Who knew Texas could be so beautiful?”

“Don’t let any Texan hear you say that. I’m sure they’d take offence to anyone even entertaining the thought that their state is ever anything less than beautiful,” Alicia jokes lamely. She guides them to a fallen tree trunk a couple hundred feet away and eases Loren down. They sit in silence, their backs against the strong wood, watching the sun rise into the sky.

“Why me?” Alicia asks quietly.

“Because you’re strong. You’re the only one who won’t blame yourself for doing this, and I need that right now. I need to know they’ll be okay. I know that it’s not fair, me leaning on your strength like this, but-”

“It’s okay. Take however much of it you need,” Alicia interrupts, shaking her head with a soft smile.

“Okay.” Loren gazes back out over the horizon as Alicia studies his almost calm face. She tenses as the muscles beneath his skin strain in pain. “We should do this now. I can feel it. I don’t have long.”

“Okay,” Alicia takes a deep breath as she kneels in front of him. She opens her hand and shows him the morphine dose. “Would you like to use this?”

Loren glances down quickly before flicking his eyes back to hers. “Morphine?” he asks quietly. “Where did you get morphine?”

“It was in the first aid kit we had stashed here. I guess Elyza found it somewhere. I doubt Nick knew about it…” she trails off. Alicia inhales sharply before looking back at Loren. “It helps. I know it does.”

Loren nods in understanding. “Okay, yeah. Let’s do it.” He holds out his arm to Alicia, who smiles and shakes her head.

“This one is an oral dose,” she says as she removes the top. She hands it out to Loren who grasps it curiously. “It’s like a lollipop. Berry flavored, I think.”

Loren pops the dose into his mouth and hums in delight. “How do you know about this stuff?”

“I used to volunteer at a hospital. This stuff is pretty new. They were doing some tests when I was there. It was going to replace the syrettes in the field. Something about the absorption rate being faster through the mouth...” Alicia trails off as she can clearly see the effects of the morphine flow through Loren’s body. He serenely slumps down against the tree trunk as Alicia removes her balisong from her boot and opens it slowly without her usual flourish. “You ready?” she whispers to the man.

Loren raises his head lazily and attempts a smile; his eyes struggle to remain open. “Yeah, and thank you, Alicia.”

Alicia reaches behind his neck with her left hand and holds him in place. She startles as Loren reaches for her hand. She lets his fingers intertwine with her own as she cradles his head against her shoulder. The tears she’s been fighting back for the past fifteen minutes flow freely as she slips the tip of her blade into the base of his skull, pushing it into the hilt. Loren’s body slumps lifelessly to the ground.

Alicia drops back on her heels, her balisong long forgotten on the ground, her face buried in her hands as she silently weeps for her fallen friend.

\-- 

Alicia winces as another blister tears open against the harsh wood of the shovel handle. Sweat trickles down her hairline, but she merely swipes it away before heaving another pile of dirt to the side. The work is slow and her muscles burn, but Alicia’s grateful for the mind-numbing task.

Standing in the shallow grave, Alicia breathes deeply, satisfied for the moment. She tosses the shovel to the side and hooks her arms under Loren’s. She grunts with exertion, and though she’s dragged far heavier corpses in the past, the exhaustion of the day takes its toll on her body, and Alicia loses her grip, stumbling backwards and landing on her back. She pounds the ground in frustration and lets out an agonizing roar. Setting her jaw in determination, Alicia stands once again and reaches for Loren’s lifeless body.

She pulls with all her strength and whips her head up as she feels the weight lift effortlessly. Elyza grasps Loren’s legs, easily helping Alicia slide his body into the shallow grave. Elyza picks up Alicia’s discarded shovel and begins to sprinkle the body with dirt. Alicia watches the cute dancing pears disappear as the earth covers her friend. It’s not long before the rest of the group exits the small cabin and adds their efforts to the burial, Nick etching Loren’s name into the fallen tree trunk nearby.

After a few moments, Elyza wraps her strong arms around Alicia’s shoulders and leads her inside with the rest trickling in after. Elyza wordlessly guides Alicia to the small dining table, grabbing the first aid kit along the way. She carefully cleans the several open blisters on Alicia’s hands, applying some antibiotic ointment before wrapping them firmly with gauze.

The day passes slowly and quickly at the same time as if the hours aren’t sure how fast to crawl. Everyone sits in relative silence, only speaking up every once in a while to offer food or water to the rest of the group. Alicia joins in the silence, her mourning of Loren being quickly overshadowed by her growing worry about her mother.

Madison has yet to return to the cabin. With the sun due to set in a few hours, Alicia having had enough sitting in silence and inaction blurts frustratingly into the still room. “We can’t just sit here and do nothing.”

“Alicia-” Luciana’s plea is quickly silenced by the glare thrown her way as Alicia stands from her chair. Her heart beats wildly at the sight of Nick, huddled in the corner, his hands covering his face, helplessly rocking back and forth, Luciana doing her best to comfort him.

She shakes her head, pushing the worry for her brother aside as she addresses the more pressing matter. “What if she needs our help? How can you all just sit here and do nothing?”

“And what is it that are you suggesting, Little Clark?” Strand finally responds, his voice firm and calm, but his eyes betraying the worry he buries. “We go out and look for her?”

“That’s exactly what I’m suggesting.”

“That’s a foolish plan.” He slumps back into the couch he was reclining on, a wave of indifference washes over his face. “We don’t even know where to start looking. She could be anywhere. It’s not wise to march out there when we don’t even know what we’re walking in to.”

“I’ll go.”

Alicia whips her head towards the far corner. Elyza clears her throat and stands her face still void of any emotion, her voice calm and cold. “I’ll go look for her,” she repeats. “I know what route she was supposed to take here. I know what car she was driving. I’ll go.”

“I’m going with you,” Alicia nods.

“Alicia, love-”

“No,” Alicia snaps, shaking her head once. “You don’t get to decide for me this time. I’m going. You know where the next stop is, right?”

Elyza swallows whatever reply she was about to utter and instead grits out a simple, “Yes.”

“Good,” Alicia turns back towards the cabin, making eye contact with Strand knowing that he’ll be the one urge the other two into action. “If we’re not back by morning, go on without us. Stick to the plan Mom set out. We’ll catch up when we can.”

Without waiting for a verbal confirmation, Alicia strides over to the table and hastily checks her shoulder pack for supplies. She stuffs several extra rounds of ammunition in as well as a few extra first aid supplies. Alicia huffs in frustration as she feels a presence standing behind her.

“You’re not talking me out of this,” she says over her shoulder, keeping her focus on the pack in front of her.

“I wasn’t trying to,” Luciana laments. “I just wanted to tell you to be careful.” With that, Alicia finally turns to face her. Tear streaks adorn her cheeks, and her eyes are red and swollen from crying. Luciana looks down before offering a glance to Nick in the corner. He still sits in a fetal position, utterly lost. Alicia feels her heart flutter for her brother, but instead of pity, all it does is fortify her determination. She has to find her mother. Nick needs her. They all need her.

“I haven’t seen him like this since Arizona,” Luciana’s soft voice cuts through Alicia’s thoughts. “It nearly killed him when he thought you were dead. I don’t know what he’ll do if he loses you and Madison. So be safe out there, and come back, alive, with your mother. If not for your sake, then for his.”

Alicia runs her fingers through her hair, willing the simple act to steel her will, and shoulders her pack. She gives a final glance over at her brother before wrapping Luciana in a tight hug. “Take care of him until we get back.”

“I will,” Luciana promises as she releases Alicia. Alicia gives her a tight half-smile before making her way to the front door.

Alicia pushes the heavy wooden door open, her eyes immediately drawn to the blonde as she leans up against her Harley, carefully reloading her shotgun before sliding it into the holster attached to the front. Alicia approaches her waiting Aussie with determined steps, stopping when she’s just within arm’s reach.

Elyza barely acknowledges her presence, her face still impassive, so Alicia, already drained from the day’s emotions, just lets out a stuttered exhale and leans her forehead against Elyza’s chest. The blonde stiffens beneath her, and Alicia can feel the tears begin to burn behind her eyes. She’s about to stand and take a step back when comforting arms wrap around her middle, pulling her close.

Alicia allows the tears to break, finally letting herself expel all the emotions from the day. The betrayal, the worry, the shock, the fear, the anguish, all of it comes flooding out as Elyza holds her and rubs soothing circles on her back. When Alicia gets control of her sobs, she pulls back just enough to place a chaste tear soaked kiss to Elyza’s familiar lips.

Breaking apart, Alicia looks into wild blue eyes and finds a sea of confusion. Elyza has barely said a word to her since she discovered Loren’s bite, and Alicia opens her mouth to ask if everything is okay.

“Feel better?” Elyza asks, beating her to the punch by a mere second. Alicia buries her own question, sensing she wouldn’t get a real answer if she tried, so instead, she just shakes her head.

“No, not really. But I’m ready to go.”

Elyza nods in response and gives her a smile doesn’t reach her eyes before swinging her leg over her Harley. Alicia follows suit and wraps her arms around Elyza’s middle as the pair takes off towards the dirt road.


	14. Ask Me No Questions

The wind whips around Alicia, and despite the sunglasses she wears; she keeps her head pressed in between Elyza’s shoulder blades. She’s not sure if it’s to protect herself from the harsh dry air or the slight comfort the warm body brings, but Alicia remains buried there until she feels the blonde’s muscles tense with worry.

Alicia lifts her head, peering as best she can around Elyza’s shoulder. An old beat up Honda sits abandoned off the side of the road. Elyza pulls her bike right alongside of it and kills the engine. Alicia follows silently as the Aussie moves to examine the car.

Her heart drops as she trails her hand along the sun-warmed metal, her fingers sinking every so often into the many bullet holes peppering the midnight blue sedan. Alicia doesn’t need to ask, she already knows the answer, but her mouth moves despite herself.

“My mother’s car?”

Elyza doesn’t turn. She just gives a terse nod and opens the driver’s side door. Alicia watches her rummage through the contents of her mother’s discarded pack and car, and with no other ideas, just waits. Elyza slams the door loudly before making her way back around the car, but freezes in her tracks. She squats down, her hand barely brushing over the soft dirt, as Alicia kneels beside her.

“Motorcycle tracks.”

Alicia runs her hands over her face, and lets out a loud sigh, trying to keep her emotions at bay. Her mother was here. Her mother was shot at. Her mother’s body isn’t here. There are several motorcycle tracks surrounding her mother’s abandoned car.

“There’s no blood in the car. And her weapons are missing,” Elyza states as she stands. She offers her hand out, and Alicia grasps it, thankful to have something to ground her. Alicia’s mind races with all this information as she jumps to the obvious conclusion. The Proctors have taken her mother. She swallows thickly and stares out over the vast empty landscape, her mind blank, not willing to consider what horrible things they could be doing to her mother at this moment.

“Alicia. Alicia, love.” Alicia is snapped from her stupor as Elyza grasps her shoulders, standing in front of her, shaking her gently.

“What?”

“I asked if you were ready to go,” Elyza apparently repeats.

“Go where?”

“Follow the tracks. Find your mother. That’s what we’re doing out here, right?”

Alicia takes a moment to process Elyza’s words and snaps herself into action. She inhales and gives a nod. “Yeah, yes. Let’s go.”

Elyza drops her hand and intertwines their fingers, and Alicia nearly breaks at the gesture. It’s loving and comforting, and it’s the first time since last night that Elyza has initiated anything with her. She revels at the contact as the Aussie guides her to back to the motorcycle, only letting go when she needs her hand to balance herself.

They drive slower now, Elyza constantly stopping to check the tracks they follow. After a few silent hours, Elyza pulls over again, this time rummaging through her saddlebag before checking the tire tracks. Alicia doesn’t quite see what Elyza pulls out, but she watches Elyza inch towards a crumbling stone wall. Elyza keeps her eyes focused in front of her, but motions for Alicia to join her with a wave of her hand.

“Look. Just there,” Elyza hands Alicia the binoculars she must have grabbed and gestures out in front of her, just to the right. Alicia struggles in the low light of the just set sun to see what Elyza’s referring to. She lets out a slow angry breath through her nose when she realizes what she’s looking at.

Live people are chained to a border fence, armed with simple weapons to fight off any dead, a staple punishment of the Proctors. The fence surrounds a small compound, and in the center, a tall water tower with a giant orange bobcat painted on the tank.

The tower itself holds Alicia’s attention. At least a dozen people seem to be scaling the tall, metal structure, and even from this distance, she can hear the metallic clang as tools work away at the tank. Alicia lowers the binoculars and rests her back against the wall, turning her head towards Elyza.

“Think my mom is in there?”

Elyza slightly shrugs her shoulders and gives a heavy sigh. “If the Proctors have her, that’s probably where she’ll be.”

Alicia decides to ignore that doubtful word for the time being. “Okay, we need to get closer. Find out everything we can, so we can tell the others.”

Alicia thinks Elyza is going to argue for a moment, but the blonde simply creeps back to the Harley and walks it to the wall, doing her best to camouflage it against the stone. She pulls her shotgun out and slings it over her shoulder.

“After you, love.”

\-- 

“A water tower?”

“Yes, a water tower,” Alicia repeats. “They’ve set up a trading post similar to the bullring, smaller, but the same concept. The water tower is directly in the middle. Most of the living quarters are right under-”

“And you want to go in and rescue Madison without knowing if they even have her in the first place?” Strand drawls, waving his hand dramatically.

“She has to be there, Strand. Her car was attacked. There were motorcycle tracks littering the ground around it, and the tracks led to the water tower.” Alicia crosses her arms, looking out over the three faces in front of her, waiting for a response.

“Sorry, Little Clark, but your evidence is lacking.”

Alicia drops her arms in a huff, casting a disbelieving scowl to Strand. “If you all don’t want to help. Fine. Stay here. Move on to the next spot in the morning, but I’m going.”

“Alicia, wait a minute,” Luciana stands from her seat next to Nick and walks the short distance to Alicia. She places a hesitant hand on her forearm. “We never said we didn’t want to help. Strand was just trying to be cautious. We all just want to be sure.”

“I know what I saw,” Alicia shakes her head. She pulls her arm out of Luciana’s grasp and looks over to Elyza, expecting the blonde to back her up. Elyza just stands there, her back against the wall, her arms crossed firmly in front of her chest. Alicia sighs, resigned to the fact that she’ll have to convince the group herself, and turns back to face Luciana. With more conviction in her voice than before, Alicia continues, “Besides, this could be our chance.”

“Chance to what?” Luciana puzzles, her head cocked slightly to the side.

“Cripple the Proctors. Elyza and I-”

“Whoa, hold up there,” Strand interrupts. He finally stands from his chair and takes a single step towards Alicia. “You were just discussing a rescue mission, now you want to engage in a full out war? With a motorcycle gang that clearly has its fingers in honeypots from California to Texas?”

Undeterred, Alicia nods, ready to explain what they saw a few hours ago. “We saw Proctor John there. If we can-”

“This is madness,” Strand exclaims, a shocked sarcastic grin on his face. He chuckles in disbelief. “Am I the only sane person in this cabin? We tried to pull one over Proctor John before. It didn’t really turn out in our favor.”

“It’s different this time. We can-” Alicia tries again.

Strand shakes his head before firmly stating, “As much as I want Madison back, we don’t have the firepower, let alone the manpower to pull anything like that off.”

“If you would stop interrupting me, I can explain.” Alicia pauses for a moment and raises her eyebrows. Content that Strand will offer no further interruptions, Alicia finally begins to lay out the plan she and Elyza discussed not three hours prior.

\--

Alicia sits on the edge of the double bed, her feet hanging off, her head ducked low. Her body aches in exhaustion, and her mind races with visions of the next day.

“You should get some sleep.”

Elyza’s husky voice is quiet and calm, but it lacks its usual tenderness when addressing Alicia. Alicia turns her head towards the door and just watches as the blonde slowly clicks the bedroom door shut, pressing her back to it. “Luciana is with Nick in the spare bedroom. Strand is on the couch. This place is in the middle of nowhere. We’ll be safe for the night. Rest.”

Alicia shakes her head wearily. “Not yet.” Elyza knits her eyebrows in confusion or frustration, Alicia isn’t sure, but she pats the side of the bed next to her and holds out her free hand towards Elyza. “Please, come here.”

Alicia tenses her whole body as Elyza doesn’t move, terrified that the woman is about to turn and flee when she suddenly pushes off the door and with amazing speed and grace crosses the room in a second. Elyza settles next to Alicia, keeping their bodies just far enough apart so they don’t touch. The tension in the air is palpable, but Alicia sets her mind and presses on, determined to get this woman to talk to her.

“What’s going on with you?” Alicia asks quietly. “Are you okay?”

Elyza looks up at her with that grin. “What do you mean, love?”

Alicia lowers her chin and raises her eyebrows in response. The Aussie may be grinning, but the smile doesn’t reach her eyes, and Alicia can see right through the wall she was trying to build.

“Really?” she asks sarcastically. She waits for an answer, but it soon becomes clear that Elyza is not about to offer anything else, so she presses on softly. “You can’t look at me for more than two seconds. You haven’t flirted or said anything remotely close to inappropriate in over 24 hours. You pull away from my touch. You kicked the crap out of your back tire without any explanation the other day. Why don’t you start with that?”

Elyza releases a long drawn out breath of air and looks down at her shoes. Her toe nervously draws random patterns on the ground, and Alicia can hear the leather groaning as Elyza tugs at the sleeves of her jacket.

“His necklace was missing,” Elyza offers, barely more than a whisper. She chances a quick glance up at Alicia, who just maintains eye contact, urging her to continue.

“My father… we moved to the States about a year before university. I went back for him, when things went to hell. He was a bit weird, yeah. Always prepping for the worst. Lucky he did, really. Survival supplies at the ready, and I had my bug out bag stashed at his place,” Elyza trails off. She shifts uncomfortably and sighs before continuing.

“About two weeks in, we got into a tight spot, just outside of Tijuana. We were trying to help this family, two kids. They had two cute little kids. Boy and a girl. Twins by the look of them. No more than four years old. Dad always had a bleeding heart for kids,” she says with a watery chuckle.

“They were trapped in their car, dozens of the dead surrounding them. We went in, knives out. Cleared most of the horde easy enough. Then, I, uh, I didn’t see it. Didn’t even know it was there until he’s pushing me out of the way.”

Elyza finally looks up from the floor, and Alicia nearly breaks at the sight of the utter pain emanating from those beautiful blue eyes. She wants nothing more than to wrap the woman in her arms and hold her close forever, but she knows she needs to give her the space to finish. Elyza’s eyes turn cold, her voice nearly emotionless. “I waited until he turned. Couldn’t do it while he was still him. As much as he begged.”

Elyza clears her throat, and Alicia finally gives in to her urges and places a single calming hand on Elyza’s thigh. The warm contact startles the blonde, but she just shakes her head and gives a sad smile. “He wore this stupid necklace all the time. My mum gave it to him when she found out she was pregnant with me. This bloody obnoxious gold compass charm. Said it represented how his life had a path as soon as he found out about me. Bloody bastard never took the damn thing off.”

Alicia squeezes Elyza’s thigh gently, and her breath hitches in her throat as warm fingers intertwine with her own. Elyza’s voice is barely a whisper. “It’s all I had left of my family.”

“I never saw it,” Alicia murmurs.

Elyza nods with a little shrug. “I wore it for a while, but all it really did was remind me of how he died. It should have been me. He was odd and at times more than a little weird, but he was a good man. He shouldn’t have done what he did.”

“He was your father,” Alicia soothes. “Of course he did everything in his power to protect you.”

“He shouldn’t have given up his life for me,” Elyza huffs.

They are quiet and still for a moment. Both content to just let their bodies and minds absorb all the emotions of the past few minutes. Alicia abruptly squeezes her eyes shut with a sudden realization. “I remind you of my mother,” she mutters aloud.

Elyza stiffens, and it’s all the confirmation Alicia needs. Instantly, Elyza’s mood makes sense. The distance she’s put between them, her hesitancy to look at Alicia, to talk to her, to touch her. Alicia is a walking, talking reminder that Madison, her mother, another innocent person, sacrificed herself to save Elyza.

“She’s not dead, Elyza,” Alicia reassures her. “She didn’t sacrifice herself for you. She’s not dead.”

“Loren is dead. She could be dead, and it would be because of me,” Elyza simply states with a shrug.

Alicia leans in and presses a long soft kiss to Elyza’s cheek. “She’s alive. I can feel it. And we’re going to find her tomorrow. But right now…”

Alicia hops off the bed, leaving a very stunned Elyza to watch as she exits the room in a bound. Alicia makes her way outside, ignoring the silent questioning gaze Strand throws at her. She walks quickly towards Elyza’s Harley and rummages through a saddlebag, smiling as she pulls out the few items she was looking for.

Alicia pulls closed the bedroom door, making sure it clicks shut and places the iPod securely into the speaker dock. Scrolling quickly through Elyza’s music selection, Alicia grins as she clicks on her song of choice. She steps away from the table, keeping her back to Elyza and begins to sway gently as the music engulfs the room.

“What are you doing?”

Alicia doesn’t stop moving but throws a simple “dancing.” over her shoulder. She twirls lazily, letting her eyes flutter shut, her whole body swaying to the song. It’s not flirtatious or seductive. It’s nothing but a teenager, enjoying one of life’s simple pleasures, trying to forget about all the worries and troubles and heartaches of the world, if only for a few minutes.

“Why?” Elyza’s voice is curious, and Alicia opens her eyes. She turns to face the blonde with a serene half-smile on her face.

“Why not?” Alicia dips her shoulder and holds out a hand towards Elyza. The blonde eyes her cautiously. A glimmer of smile peeks from the corner of her mouth, and Alicia knows she’s won. Elyza slips her hand into Alicia’s, and Alicia grins as she pulls the blonde up, tightening her grasp, and wrapping her other arm around Elyza’s waist.

She feels Elyza chuckle silently as Alicia guides them around the room in a surprisingly graceful saunter, grinning like a fool as the music takes over her senses. “Though nothing, nothing will keep us together,” she sings quietly into Elyza’s ear. “We can beat them, forever and ever.”

Elyza pulls away from her, shaking her head. “You, love. You are a secret dork.”

Alicia merely grins, and twirls again, her hair flying in a halo around her. She stops, facing Elyza and gives her best ‘come hither’ finger curl and smirk. Elyza obliges, a genuine, soul-melting smile plastered on her face. She dances in front of Alicia mirroring her movements enthusiastically. Elyza suddenly winks, her voice loud as she sings along with impressive gusto. “I, I will be King. And you,” Elyza wraps her arms around Alicia’s waist, pulling her close. “You will be Queen!”

Alicia laughs heartily as the pain of the day fully washes away from her. One real embrace from this woman and she feels like she can conquer anything this shitty world throws her way. They dance, bodies pressed close together, swaying with the beat of the song.

The song ends far too quickly, and Alicia stills as Elyza’s hands cup her face tenderly. She smiles at the touch and flutters her eyes closed as soft lips find her own. The sweet kiss ends, and another takes its place, far messier and far needier. They fall into bed as clothes are discarded, losing themselves to the sensations and pleasures they offer one another.

\-- 

Alicia huffs in defeat and gently removes the slumbering blonde’s arm from her waist. She gingerly extracts her leg, tangled under Elyza’s, and rolls out of bed. After quickly dressing, Alicia tiptoes out of the room and makes her way down the dark hallway.

She reaches the open living room and stills as a familiar silhouette lounges on the couch, his hands folded gently on his chest. “Hey,” she calls quietly into the room.

Nick turns his head lazily in her direction. “Hey.”

Alicia pads over to the chair next to him and slumps down. Nick sits up, mirroring her position. “Where’s Strand?” Alicia asks, looking around the room.

Nick shrugs. “I think he’s asleep in the room back there.”

Nodding, Alicia sits back in the chair, her arms thrown over the sides. “What are you doing up?”

“Couldn’t sleep.”

“Me neither.” Alicia smiles as a familiar box catches her eye. She motions over towards the bookshelf with her head. “Hey,” she asks with a raise of her eyebrows.

Nick follows her gesture and grins as he turns back towards her. “I can still kick your ass.”

Alicia rolls her eyes before pushing herself out of the soft cushions. “It’s mostly a game of luck,” she throws over her shoulder as she grabs the board game.

“Which I have plenty of,” Nick confirms. He opens the box; setting up the board while Alicia shuffles the cards and places the pawns in their starting spot. She doesn’t even have to ask Nick which color he wants to be, and just places the green pawns in front of him and the blue in front of herself.

“You pretty much are the luckiest son of a bitch alive. You got me as a sister,” she teases playfully. Alicia smiles as Nick smirks back. It feels good. Alicia would be lying to herself if she said she wasn’t worried about him today. He retreated so far into himself that she wasn’t sure he’d be able to come out, but when Alicia returned with news of the Proctor camp, Nick was suddenly determined. There was that flicker of hope sparkling in his eyes again.

“Whoa, oh, someone’s feeling confident,” Nick taunts. He draws his first card, grinning like a fool as he flips it around, proudly boasting a 1. “How confident does that make you feel? Pawn on the board. First turn.”

Nick places his green pawn on the board with a dramatic flair that Alicia can only shake her head at. She draws a card from the pile and sighs as she flips a 4 into the discard pile. She glares at her brother. “Don’t say anything.”

The game continues, Alicia finally getting all her pawns out to only have 3 sent back to the start as Nick draws lucky card after lucky card. “You know,” he says, his voice suddenly dripping with sincerity. “I’m sorry. About not telling you Elyza’s plan.”

Not looking up from the board, Alicia draws her next card and moves her pawn forward three spaces. “I know.”

“I’m happy you two found each other,” Nick offers. He draws a seven, sending one of his pawns home and moving another forward two spaces. “You’re good together. She’s good.”

Alicia looks up and smiles at her brother, thoughts of Elyza sleeping soundly in the room next door dancing in her head. She grins. “How are you and Luciana?”

Nick sighs. “She just gets me, you know?”

“She keeps you grounded.”

Nick nods and draws another card. “Do you really think this is going to work tomorrow?”

“I don’t see another option. They have Mom, and Proctor John won’t stop looking for us. We can end this. Tomorrow. What else can we do?”

“We could run.”

Alicia stills her hand as she reaches for a card and pulls back, glaring at Nick. “And leave Mom? I can’t do that.”

“She’s not who you think she is,” he offers quietly.

Alicia cocks her head to the side and stares at her brother. She already knows about her mother’s history. She knows what she’s done. And while Alicia may not agree with some, or really, a lot, of her decisions, she still respects and loves her mother. The statement leaving Nick’s mouth floors her. She shakes her head, her voice hard. “She’s our mom. I know what she’s done, and I know what she’d do. She’d do anything to protect us.”

“Exactly,” Nick states firmly.

“Nick-”

“I love her. You know that.” Nick reaches out for Alicia’s hand and wraps both around hers. “I want her back, I do. Just maybe not at the risk of you getting yourself killed for her.”

“I can take care of myself,” Alicia expresses coldly, pulling her hand out of his grasp. She breathes heavily through her nose, slightly annoyed at how this nice quiet game between them suddenly turned tense and wrought with complex emotions. She stubbornly grabs a card and slams her pawn down after moving it backwards the directed four spaces.

“I know. It’s just… I’m your brother. It’s kinda my job to protect you.”

Alicia snaps her head up and glares at her brother. Visions of all those months, alone, in the dark, waiting to hear about Nick, where he was, if he was alive, flood her memory. “You didn’t take your job seriously before, why now?”

“Alicia, I…” Nick falters. Alicia can see the guilt wash over him as he begins to retreat back into himself. “I’m sorry. For everything,” he little more than mumbles. Tears peak at the corners of his eyes as his body shudders, struggling to hold it together.

“Nick, hey,” Alicia hushes. She stands and swiftly takes a seat next to her brother on the couch, wrapping an arm around his shoulder. Nick turns his face into her shoulder and returns the embrace. “It’s okay. I didn’t mean that. It’s just… Today.”

Nick nods and sits up. His tears gone and gives her a knowing sad smile. “Yeah.”

“Hey,” Alicia starts, earning his eye contact. She takes a deep breath, ready to tackle the difficult topic she’s been avoiding for nearly six weeks. “You’re really okay, right? We haven’t talked about what happened on the dam. You were ready to die.”

“I still am,” Nick confirms all too quickly.

“Nick…” Alicia shakes her head. The suddenness and conviction in which he said that alarms her, and she nearly gasps as her heart drops to the pit of her stomach.

“That’s not- I didn’t mean it like that,” he quickly backtracks, clearly seeing the worry and panic reflected in Alicia’s eyes. “I just mean… I’m not afraid of it. With everything we’ve seen. Everything I’ve done. I’m not afraid to die.”

“You’re scaring me a little with this talk,” Alicia says looking straight into her brother’s eyes. She’s not sure if she meant for her statement to be a joke or for it to be taken seriously. Honestly, it could go either way. Nick just turns his head to the side a little.

“Come here,” he commands, opening his arms wide. This time, it’s Nick who wraps an arm around Alicia, pulling her close. She rests her head on his shoulder and sighs at the feeling of her brother’s warmth. “I love you, you know that?” Nick kisses the side of her head and rubs her arm quickly.

“Yeah,” Alicia sits up and sighs. “I love you too.”

Nick withdraws his arm and reaches towards the stack of cards in the middle of the board. He lets out a half chuckle as he flips the card around. An 8.

“And I just won. Guess my lucky streak remains intact,” he jokes as he smugly places his final green pawn in the home space.

“Shut up.” Alicia nudges him with her shoulder. “We should try and get some sleep. Lots to do tomorrow, well I guess later today.”

She doesn’t wait for a response, and Nick never gives one. They silently put the board game pieces back in the box, and Alicia returns it to the bookshelf. She turns to make her way back to the room where Elyza still sleeps soundly, only stopping when she hears her brother’s voice call to her.

“Alicia.” She turns and faces her brother. “You don’t have to worry about me,” he says with a small genuine smile.

“Yes, I do,” she responds simply. “I always have. Always will.”

\-- 

The setting sun blinds her as she stares out towards the water tower in the distance. Alicia breathes deeply, tucking a fallen strand of hair under her baseball cap.

“You ready, love?”

Alicia turns towards the blonde with a deep sigh. “As I’ll ever be. You have what you need?”

“Deadset.” Elyza wraps her arm around Alicia’s waist, and Alicia melts into the side of her body, grateful for the serenity the gesture provides. “The others made it through. Saw them pass a few minutes ago.”

Alicia’s eyes trail back to the front gate of the camp. “I guess that’s another underrated thing about the apocalypse: no way to plaster our faces around the camps. Descriptions only get you so far.”

“Lucky for us,” Elyza breathes. She grabs Alicia’s waist firmly and spins her so they’re standing face to face. Elyza’s eyes trail up and down Alicia’s body with a little grin. She playfully grabs the bill of Alicia’s hat, pulling it down a little. “By the way, this look, I like it. Bloody sexy. You should wear hats more often.”

Elyza casually lifts the hat from Alicia’s eyes, just far enough to fit herself under, and places a slow, not so innocent kiss firmly on Alicia’s lips. Alicia sighs into Elyza’s mouth, reveling in the distraction and only pulls away when she feels Elyza do so first.

Alicia gives Elyza a little half smile and remains firmly in her embrace. She closes her eyes tightly, releasing a long drawn out sigh, and finally asks the question that’s been eating at her all day. “Elyza, is this a stupid idea?”

“Of course it is,” Elyza confirms gravely, and Alicia’s breath hitches in her throat. “But that’s why it’s going to work. It’s just daft enough that the Proctors won’t know what hit them. We’re going to put a serious kink in their ranks today. They’ll be bloody crippled,” Elyza finishes with a confident grin. “She’ll be right.”

Elyza winks and steps out of their embrace, silently confirming that it’s time for her to go. Alicia nods subtly and watches her Aussie turn and begin the long walk to the front gate.

Alicia’s heart pounds at the sight before her, and she doesn’t even realize she’s chasing after Elyza until her hand wraps tightly around her bicep, spinning her to a stop. “Hey, wait!” Alicia yells. Elyza stares at her, her brows knitted in confusion. “I just wanted to say-”

Elyza places a single finger to Alicia’s lips, silencing her. “None of that,” Elyza shakes her head and gives her a quick chaste kiss on the lips. “We’re not doing that.”

Alicia can feel the tears burning behind her eyes, as she practically chokes out her next words quietly. “You didn’t say goodbye last time, at the nursery.”

Elyza softens immediately and pulls Alicia close. She tucks her head in the crook of Elyza’s neck, breathing in the unique scent of leather and Elyza. Alicia wraps her arms around Elyza, her hands tightly grasping as much leather as she can, holding their bodies impossibly close.

“Det är inte farväl. Du har mitt hjärta och jag kommer tillbaka för det. Så håll det nära till dig tills vi ses igen.”

Alicia shudders as the words whisper into her ear, Elyza’s hot breath tickling a few errant strands of hair on Alicia’s neck. “You use that word a lot.”

“What word?” Elyza mumbles.

“Hjärta. It wasn’t in my ‘Useful Phrases’ book.”

“No?” Elyza steps back, despite the iron grip Alicia tries to maintain on her. “Maybe I’ll tell you someday.”

Alicia internally screams knowing that this really is goodbye. She has so many things racing around her head. So many unspoken words, declarations she desires to shout out to the woman who is slowly inching away, but Alicia swallows them all down, pushing them to the back of her brain and utters a weak, “Okay.”

Elyza smiles softly as if she heard the entire internal battle that just took place in Alicia’s head, and takes a few steps back towards her. Alicia holds her breath as Elyza places a final kiss to the corner of her mouth before quickly backing away again as if she were afraid of what lingering would do.

“Wait an hour before you come in,” Elyza offers with a nod, and Alicia half scoffs, half laughs, at the statement.

“I know, Elyza. It’s my plan.”

Elyza chuckles and winks over at Alicia. “Just confirming, love. I’ll see you in there.” And with that, Elyza turns and squares her shoulders as she walks towards the water tower, and Alicia can do nothing but wait. And waiting sucks.

\-- 

The sun dips just below the horizon as Alicia approaches the front gate, her self-inflicted torture finally over. She tucks her hat a little lower and saunters up to the woman behind the chain link fence.

“Watcha got for me, pretty girl?”

Alicia holds her face calm as she pulls her pack from her shoulder. Wordlessly, she empties the contents on the table and waits as the woman leans forward, inspecting her goods. “That’s good for twenty points,” she drawls as she hands the tokens to Alicia. Alicia fights to remain emotionless as the woman gives her an intense once over. “What’re you looking for in here?”

“What we’re all looking for,” Alicia shrugs nonchalantly. “A reason.”

The woman scoffs and shakes her head. “Whatever you say, pretty girl. Mind yourself in there. Lots of unsavory people in this world would be interested in a reason like you.”

Alicia fights to not roll her eyes. “Can I go in now?”

The woman nods casually at the guards standing in front of the gate. The smaller of the two menacing giants steps close and gestures for her to spread her arms. Alicia silently complies and holds her breath as he respectfully runs his hands over her arms and pats her side, checking for weapons. Obviously finding none, he moves to the side, and Alicia just stops herself from releasing a giant sigh of relief as she enters the Proctor’s trading post.


	15. Hero Takes a Fall

Alicia follows the constant flow of people, mindlessly glancing at stall after stall, trying to remain as invisible as possible. She knows it’s only a matter of time before one of the many Proctors milling about recognizes her. In fact, she’s counting on it, but that doesn’t mean she wants to draw attention to herself right away.

Alicia turns a corner; a stall displaying dozens of knives catches her eye. Just as she is about to reach it, Alicia is pulled backwards, a strong hand wrapped around her mouth, preventing her from screaming. Alicia thrashes her legs and attempts to wriggle out of the tight hold when she suddenly stills.

“Shhh! It’s me. It’s me.”

The hand drops from her mouth as she spins; a wide-eyed Nick stands before her, a finger to his lips urging her to remain calm, his other hand holding her still.

“Nick? What are you doing?” Alicia gasps, shrugging out of his grasp. “Where are the others? You’re supposed to be with Luciana. What’s going on?”

“She’s not here.”

“What are you talking about, ‘she’s not here?’ Who’s not here, Nick?” Alicia’s mind races with what her brother is trying to tell her. Is Luciana hurt? Were they recognized? Is this plan as terrible as Alicia fears? Is she about to get her entire family killed?

“Mom’s not here,” Nick interrupts her internal ramble, and Alicia mind runs blank. Their whole reason for risking their lives, for walking straight into the lion’s den is to find Madison, and she’s not even here.

The guilt washes over Alicia like the floodwaters gushing through the dam. This really is a stupid plan, and she really is about to get her whole family killed. Why didn’t she listen to Elyza, to Strand, to Luciana? Every single person told her that Madison may not be here, but she was too stubborn. Too sure of what she thought she saw.  Barely snapping out of her guilt spiral, Alicia chokes out a stuttered, “Are you sure?”

“Yeah,” Nick nods his head. “I overheard some Proctors talking about it.”

Still unable to fully grasp that she was so wrong about her mother, Alicia shakes her head in disbelief. “But her car. The bullet holes. Nick, there were tire tracks leading from the car to here!”

Alicia feels her body begin its desperate plunge into denial. She’s shaking her head, tensing her jaw, and only stilled as Nick grabs both her shoulders. He ducks down and stares directly into her eyes. “She’s not here, Alicia,” Nick declares slowly, leaving no doubt that Alicia truly heard him this time.

Alicia tenses her body with only one thing left on her mind: get her family out of here before her mistake costs them their lives. “Where’s Elyza? Strand? Luciana? We have to get them out of here. It’s my fault. We have to get out of here before they recognize us,” she rambles quickly, her eyes wild with regret and determination.

“Calm down,” Nick soothes. “We’ll find them.”

Alicia takes a deep breath, resolved to relax her mind and body enough to think clearly. Now is definitely not the time for a breakdown. Nick holds her gaze, waiting for her to calm. She releases one long breath of air and nods her head. “You good?” Nick asks. Alicia nods her head once more.

“Good, because we need to get going. Luciana is in the bar where I left her. Let’s start there, circle around and grab Strand. Elyza should still be at the tower. We’ll get her on the way out. Okay?”

Alicia can do nothing but nod in agreement. There really isn’t a better plan. As of right now, the Proctors don’t know they’re here. All they have to do is find everyone and leave without being noticed. Easy enough.

Alicia pulls the bill of her baseball cap a little lower, hiding her face as best she can as she follows Nick along the narrow paths twisting around the marketplace. They walk slowly as Alicia’s heart pounds against her ribcage, a constant reminder of the imminent danger she’s put everyone in.

She keeps her head low, earning more than a few sidelong glances and can’t help but to marvel at the ease Nick strolls along ahead of her. He walks as if nothing is wrong, and the vendors love him for it. He smiles and comments briskly as they try to pitch their goods to him, never once questioning whether or not he’s suspicious. All Alicia can do is follow in his footsteps as best she can, but she feels herself failing miserably at blending in.

Nick suddenly reaches his hand back, and Alicia wordlessly wraps her fingers around his. She’s startled as he pulls her quickly behind a stall. Nick peers around the corner, whipping back around, holding a finger to his lips, just as a pair of Proctors strolls past.

“The blonde one? You’re sure it was her?” Alicia hears one of them ask, and her heart stops beating for a moment. She subconsciously leans forward, desperate to hear if Elyza has been captured.

“She’s hard to forget. That bitch blew up my bike.” Alicia peers around the corner and glares into the back of the passing Proctors, the winged skull swaying with each step. “Come on, I want to be there when they grab her,” his voice trails off as the pair turns another corner.

Alicia releases the breath she didn’t realize she was holding and looks back a Nick. Elyza is okay. For now. She opens her mouth, but before words can come flooding out, Alicia is distracted by that familiar color of blonde hair strolling right by them. Alicia reaches her arm out and firmly grasps the Aussie before she passes the stall and pulls her close.

“Elyza! You’re okay,” Alicia stutters as she runs her hands up and down Elyza’s arms. “You’re okay.” She pulls her into a tight embrace, fully ignoring the confusion plastered on Elyza’s face.

“Course I am, love,” Elyza assures her before stepping away. “What’s going on? Aren’t you supposed to be exposing yourself right about now?” Elyza tilts her head to the side and spots Nick hovering just behind Alicia. She takes a surprised step forward. “Nick, mate, what’s wrong? Where’s Luciana?”

Ignoring all of Elyza’s questions, Nick clears his throat and surprises Alicia with how calm and sure his voice sounds. “Mom’s not here. We need to go. Now.”

“What, what do you mean she’s not here?” Elyza looks from Alicia to Nick and back again. If the situation weren’t so life-threatening, Alicia would have laughed at the utter bewilderment in Elyza’s eyes.

“He means she’s not here,” Alicia repeats adamantly. “The plan is off.”

“That’s easier said than done.”

“What are you…” Alicia starts but stops the moment she remembers Elyza’s part of the plan. “The bombs,” she mutters aloud.

“Found what I needed. Everything’s locked and loaded,” Elyza confirms with a slight grimace.

“Turn them off!” Alicia panics.

“Why?” Elyza argues. “We can use the distraction to get out of here unseen.”

“Elyza, turn them off. The innocent people…” Alicia falters as thoughts of all the people that will be injured or killed when Elyza’s explosives go off overwhelm her mind. All the wasted lives. Wasted because Alicia was foolish enough to march in here without knowing all of the facts. Without confirmation that her mother was actually being held captive here.

“Alicia, love. You were okay with collateral damage when we devised this plan,” Elyza states calmly.

Alicia sharply inhales before going off. “That was when I thought they had my mother! They don’t. Take the detonator, and turn it off. Smash it into a hundred pieces for all I care, but turn it off,” her voice cold and hard as she finishes.

Elyza stands as still as a board as she looks wide-eyed at Alicia. “There is no detonator. It’s on a timer. Countdown has already started,” she responds softly.

“So disable it!” Alicia nearly shouts. Elyza suddenly steps forward, all softness on her face long gone. She grabs Alicia’s shoulders and holds her steady.

“Okay, I need you to breathe,” she commands looking directly into Alicia’s eyes. She raises her eyebrows, silently asking if Alicia is good for a moment. Alicia gives a single nod as Elyza turns towards Nick. “Nick, mate, you’re sure Madison isn’t here. Your intel is good? No chance they knew you were listening and tried to pull one over you?”

“I’m sure,” Nick finally speaks. He takes a step forward. “My mom isn’t here.”

“Deception at its finest.”

Alicia’s breath hitches in her throat as all eyes turn towards the back of the stall. Proctor John steps out of the shadows, his revolver drawn and lazily pointed in their general direction. “Alicia from Los Angeles,” he marvels with an apathetic grin. “I didn’t expect to see you here. The car was meant for your brother to find. I assumed it would just be him waltzing in for a rescue, but it would appear that you found your family after all. I’m happy for you.”

Alicia watches Elyza take a determined step in front of her and place her arm protectively over her middle, silently pleading with Alicia to stay back. Alicia gets the message and takes an involuntary step backwards. She freezes as she hears the cock of a hammer just before the cold metal presses harshly against her temple. Elyza and Nick whip around at the sound to find themselves surrounded by half a dozen, armed, angry Proctors.

“What was your aim here?” Proctor John puzzles with a twinkle in his eye. He walks right up to Alicia, shoving Nick out of the way. Nick stumbles and is caught by two of the Proctors and pulled off to the side. Elyza stiffens and squares her shoulders, but Proctor John merely gives an offhand little look with his eyes, and the man who currently has his revolver pressed against Alicia suddenly places it in his holster and grabs Elyza, pinning her arms behind her. Elyza does her best to struggle, but the man easily outweighs and out muscles her.

Proctor John smirks at the sight before turning back to Alicia and gives a curious little shake of his head. “You walked right in, no weapons, no way out. You’ve delivered me your brother and Elyza. I suppose I should be thanking you for saving us the trouble.”

He reaches down and grasps her chin between his fingers. Alicia’s blood boils at the contact, her skin prickles as his rough calloused fingers trail along her jaw. Alicia reels back, removing herself from his touch. “Get your hand off of me, you son of a bitch!”

Proctor John stands back and chuckles. “Aw, I missed your fire, Nurse. Come on now, save some of the theatrics for later. Bring them.” He waves his hand indifferently towards Alicia, and she suddenly feels heavy harsh hands pull her arms back. She’s shoved forward, and it takes all her strength to not topple over at the sudden movement. She glances back behind her to see Nick and Elyza, both, now gagged and bound, being dragged along the suddenly empty pathway. Vendors watch as the procession of captives passes by, all silent, all still, observing the blatant show of power, all grateful it isn’t them being dragged along.

They follow Proctor John as he leads them to a platform raised a few feet above the ground, just in front of the water tower. Alicia stumbles as she’s unceremoniously shoved up on the elevated wood, nearly toppling over. The Proctor that was holding her lifts her to her feet and leaves her there, standing in the middle of the platform.

Nick and Elyza are led to the far side, directly across from her. She’s tempted to rush over to them, knock one of the Proctors off the ledge, and maybe buy Elyza or Nick enough time to run, but the thought is quickly squelched as she turns back towards the voice behind her.

“Victor Strand! As I live and breathe,” Proctor John practically beams. Alicia’s eyes quickly find what John sees and any glimmer of hope that she had that her whole family isn’t about to meet their demise flees as quickly as a bat out of hell. Strand and Luciana are being pushed forward, their hands bound behind them, their mouths gagged.

“I didn’t think they’d keep you around. Not after what you did to them on the dam.” Proctor John turns towards Alicia with a smirk. “Does your family often forgive liars and betrayers? I suppose that explains your utter faith in the people of this world. You really are something else, Nurse,” John says quietly to her, low enough so no one in the gathering crowd could hear.

“And you,” Proctor John turns back towards the approaching prisoners, looking directly at Luciana. He waits as Strand and Luci are pushed up onto the platform before sauntering over. He runs a finger along Luciana’s cheek, and she tenses and tries to pull away from the unwelcome touch. “You I don’t know,” John mutters.

Alicia’s blood sets afire as John trails this finger along Luci’s jawline and despite herself, steps forward and calls out to her. “Luciana!” Her progress is quickly stopped as another Proctor reaches out, grabbing her shoulder. His grip is so tight, she’s sure it will leave a bruise. That is if she makes it out of here alive.

“Luciana,” Proctor John smiles as he looks from Alicia back to Luci. “Pleasure to meet you. Pity it’s under such strained circumstances.”

Even from this distance, Alicia can hear the labored breaths Luciana releases from her nose, and she can see the anger pulsing through her eyes. Alicia spares a glance over her shoulder, and her heart breaks even further at the sight of her brother, his eyes as wide as she’s ever seen as he struggles helplessly against his restraints. He drops to his knees, hanging his head low in despair.

She’s so focused on her brother’s anguish, Alicia jumps as another hand wraps around her shoulder, turning her to face the far side of the platform, before stepping away. Proctor John stands next to her, his hand on her shoulder as he gazes out over the gathered crowd. More than half the vendors and just as many visitors crowd around the elevated platform, and Alicia feels the soul-crushing realization that these people are about to watch her family’s demise.

Her shoulders slump in defeat, but she keeps her eyes focused on the two people in front of her. Nick still rests on his knees, but Elyza, her eyes are on fire, and they are staring directly at her. Alicia locks her gaze on those blue eyes, desperately grasping at something to ground her, not even bothering to react when the Proctor that had been holding her steps to the edge of the platform and begins speaking.

“For the crimes committed against The Proctor Motorcycle Club, the punishment is death. But Proctor John is a merciful man. Only two will die here tonight. Victor Strand, for your previous lies and betrayal, you’ll be placed on the wall. Fight for your life until death takes you.”

The crowd mutters restlessly, clearly unimpressed with the sentence, the punishment far too common to be considered worth wasting their time to see.

“And as for the other,” the Proctor pauses and walks directly in front of Alicia. She feels Proctor John’s fingers dig into her shoulder, and she struggles not to wince. “That’s up to you,” he finishes.

Alicia’s heart skips a beat. Proctor John removes his hand from her shoulder and draws his revolver from his hip. He silently opens the chamber and slowly removes four bullets, dropping each to the wooden platform, one by one. He slams the revolver chamber shut and carefully pulls back the hammer, aligning the remaining bullet in place.

“So who will it be, Alicia Clark?” He says loud enough for the crowd to hear. “Your brother?” Alicia looks over as Nick is pulled to his feet, his hands still bound as the Proctor guarding him rips the gag from his mouth and forces him one step closer to her.

“Or your lover?” Alicia gasps, her breath nearly choking her, as Elyza’s gag is removed, and she’s placed just to the right of Nick.

Alicia’s heart hammers in her chest so loudly she’s sure Proctor John can hear it. The tears burn behind her eyes, and her stomach churns at the decision she’s expected to make.

“There’s one bullet left. Choose,” Proctor John grabs Alicia’s right hand and forces the revolver into it. The gun is heavy, so heavy in her hand, and the tears that were threatening suddenly spill over her cheeks. Proctor John roughly grabs the bill of her hat and yanks it off her head. He dips down and whispers in her ear, “Now we can see your struggle.”

Proctor John takes a step back, standing on the right edge of the platform. He looks over to the Proctors standing behind Nick and Elyza and nods. They remove themselves from the platform, and Proctor John turns back to Alicia.

“Choose,” he repeats.

The weight of the world comes crashing down on Alicia, and she drops her shoulders low as her head tucks down. “I can’t. I can’t,” Alicia cries. She holds the revolver against her side. It’s too heavy to lift anyway. “I can’t choose. I can’t.”

“You bloody sick bastard! Don’t put this on her!” Elyza growls at Proctor John, her voice so dangerous it sends shivers up Alicia’s spine. John merely shrugs at the threat and turns his attention back to Alicia.

Elyza huffs in annoyance but softens her face as she turns to face Alicia. “Alicia, love,” Elyza’s strong voice calls to her. Alicia glances up, her eyesight blurry with tears, but she finds those blue eyes instantly. “It’s alright. Look at me. It’s alright.”

“Lift the gun,” Proctor John commands. Her grip shudders and shakes around the revolver. “Lift the gun, or Luciana dies too.”

Alicia whips her head to the left side of the platform just as she sees a Proctor raise a large knife to Luciana’s throat.

“No. No,” Alicia pleads. She releases a shaky breath and sets her jaw as she raises a trembling hand, pointing the gun right in between Nick and Elyza. “I can’t,” she cries again, her resolve crumbling. She closes her eyes and dips her head again. “I can’t do this.”

“Point that gun at me, love,” Elyza’s beautiful, steady voice echoes over Alicia’s beating heart. “You don’t have to decide. I’m telling you what to do. Right over here. Aim right here.”

"No, Elyza. No!” Nick shouts. Alicia looks up at the utter anguish playing on her brother’s face.

“I can’t choose,” Alicia mutters weakly. She can feel her arm begin to tire, her aim dropping.

“You can and you will,” Proctor John commands. “Your brother’s life. Or Elyza’s. Pull the trigger.”

“No, no,” Alicia exclaims, suddenly finding the fortitude to face Proctor John. Through gritted teeth and tears, she snaps at him. “It doesn’t matter who I choose. You’ll just kill us all anyway. I won’t decide.”

Proctor John grins at that as if he’s proud of Alicia’s audacity. “The loved one you choose to spare will be released, alive, and unharmed, with my word that no Proctor will ever come near them again,” he swears loudly.

“You’re lying,” Alicia shakes her head.

“Have I ever lied to you? Do I strike you as a dishonest man?”

Alicia pauses and takes a deep breath. She can hear the murmurs of the crowd quietly debating the validity of Proctor John’s statement. But she knows. She knows he’s telling the truth. Proctor John is cunning and ruthless, but he’s honest. She shakes her head and barely whispers, “No, you’ve never lied.”

“Then choose,” he repeats. “If you don’t, they both die. Along with Luciana.”

“Alicia, love. Right here. Aim right here. It’s okay. I'm choosing for you. My decision, not yours. Aim here, love,” Elyza calls out to her, her eyes glistening with tears. Alicia’s aim swings slightly to the right before whipping back to the middle at the sound of her brother’s voice.

“I’m ready, Alicia. You know this. Don’t shoot, Elyza. Don’t.”

“Both so willing to die. How touching,” Proctor John taunts quietly. He glares at her, his voice loud and threatening. “You’re trying my patience. Choose. Now.”

Alicia’s eyes blur with tears. She can hear Luciana’s sharp intake of breath, as a knife undoubtedly presses harshly against her soft throat. Alicia raises her hand again, adjusting her aim slightly. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” she chants as if the words are a prayer that would absolve her from killing someone she loves. She slams her eyes shut, her finger squeezing the trigger.  

Alicia’s eyes snap open at the commotion. The world goes to chaos in the matter of a few seconds. Elyza’s wrists spring free from her bonds, and Alicia notices the open bracelet fall to the ground. Elyza reaches inside her right sleeve and pulls out her hidden blade so quickly; no Proctor has even registered what is happening. Just as the blade flies from Elyza’s expert grip, a single explosion shakes the very ground they are standing on.

All heads whip towards the water tower as one of the supports teeters dangerously, but Alicia’s eyes follow the blade as it sinks into the chest of Proctor John. The man drops to his knees, clutching at the knife as another explosion detonates in front of them. Alicia blinks, and Proctor John pulls a second pistol from his waist. He points the weapon ahead of him and pulls the trigger. The sound of the gunshot is deafened as a second support leg crumbles, and the groaning and screeching of twisting metal fills the still air.

Alicia turns her head towards Proctor John’s aim and rushes towards the fallen body, firing her single shot directly into the man’s skull. Blood mists in the air as she sprints past, and she doesn’t even watch Proctor John crumple lifelessly onto the wooden platform.

As Alicia reaches Nick and Elyza, the water tower smashes to the ground, flattening more than half the camp. The sudden rush of water has the remaining survivors who weren’t crushed running in all directions. Alicia doesn’t notice Strand and Luciana break free their captors. She doesn’t notice them stealing guns off the dead bodies and expertly eliminating the Proctors standing behind Nick and Elyza. All Alicia can see is the body bleeding out in front of her.

“Nick! No, Nick!” Alicia cries as she drops to her knees next to him. She presses a firm hand to the gushing bullet wound on his chest, silently praying that it’s not as bad as it looks. Elyza grabs her fallen bracelet and hastily cuts Nick’s hands free.

“You bloody asshole. Why’d you do that?” Elyza cries, cradling Nick’s head. “Why’d you push me out of the way?”

Nick shudders and coughs. The dark red blood stains his face as it trickles from his mouth. “Hey, Nick. It’s okay. It’s okay. Stay with me. We’re going to get you out of here. It’s okay. You’re okay,” Alicia sobs as she presses futility on his wound. It oozes no matter how much pressure she applies, and her lip trembles as she realizes how close the bullet is to his heart. She knows what this wound means. She’s no fool. She’s seen enough, hell, she’s caused enough, death and bloodshed to know, but she won’t accept it.

Alicia hardly notices when Luciana drops down to Nick’s other side. She only spares a moment to look up, Strand standing above them, rifle raised, ready to defend them if necessary. More coughing and gurgling brings her attention back to her brother. He reaches a shaky hand up, and Luciana wraps her fingers around his, bringing his knuckles to her lips. She presses a slow kiss to his hand before spreading his fingers along her cheek, covering his hand as he cups her face.

Nick’s face twists as he struggles to breathe. “It’s okay,” his weak voice barely above a whisper. “It’s okay.”

“No, Nick! No! Don’t give up. Don’t…” Alicia’s tears drip down her face, disappearing in the puddle of blood gathering on Nick’s chest. She feels the shallow rise and fall of his chest lessen until it is no more. Alicia slumps over her brother, gripping his shirt in her hands. She wails into his still body until firm hands pull her up.

Elyza tucks Alicia to her chest and guides her away from the platform. Alicia looks back and watches as Luciana holds a knife above Nick’s head. She stumbles as Luciana closes her eyes, fat tears rolling down her cheeks, as the blade disappears into Nick’s skull.

“We’ve got to go.” Elyza’s voice brings her reality crashing into focus.

“No! Nick, we can’t leave him. We can’t leave him here,” Alicia rants as she’s pulled farther and farther from her brother.

Not breaking their stride, Elyza raises her free hand and fires a pistol into a few freshly reanimated dead. “We’re not going to, love. Strand’s getting a car. They’ll bring him.”

Elyza releases her firm grasp on Alicia’s waist and squats down. She stands holding a second pistol and a few clips. Elyza tucks a clip into her back pocket and holds out another spare and the pistol to Alicia. Alicia grabs them wordlessly. The pair trudges through the devastated trading post, only stopping to dispose of the dead in their way.

Alicia glances around, taking in the destruction she caused. Half of the stalls have been crushed by the fallen tower, the other half destroyed by the flood of water, as the tank broke open. Vendors and gang members alike run through the wreckage, fighting off the infected as they scavenge for supplies. But all Alicia can truly think about are the dead. Proctor John is dead. Nick is dead.

Nick is dead.

Alicia doubles over, her hands on her knees, as her vision threatens to abandon her. Elyza pulls Alicia’s arm up over her shoulder and practically drags her stumbling body out of the wreckage. “Stay with me, love. Stay with me,” Elyza breathes into Alicia’s ear.

Alicia doesn’t respond. She can’t. Her boots slosh on the water soaked ground as Elyza drags her away and towards her hidden motorcycle.

\-- 

The farther they drive, the number Alicia feels. Her sorrow being temporarily masked by the immediate need to hold on to Elyza and keep herself balanced on the motorcycle. Alicia can hear the pickup truck behind them; she stopped looking back at the blank faces of Strand and Luciana hours ago.

Alicia tightens her grip around Elyza with one arm and taps her thigh with her other. Elyza takes the hint and immediately pulls over to the side of the road. She kills the engine and dismounts, standing right next to Alicia. “What is it, love? Are you okay?”

Alicia squints as Strand pulls the truck to a stop right behind them, the headlights blinding her.

“What is it? Why have we stopped?” Strand calls from the side of the driver’s side door.

“I don’t know, mate!” Elyza shouts back before locking eyes with Alicia. Alicia looks out over Elyza’s shoulder at the field in front of them. In the soft moonlight, the landscape flows and swells with the breeze, the wildflowers a brilliant dark blue, rivaling her memories of the soft ebb and flow of the Pacific at night. An old railroad bridge stands tall against the vast field, and Alicia knows this is the perfect place.

Without a word, Alicia finally dismounts the Harley and walks over to the bed of the truck. She pulls herself up on the tailgate, her breath hitching at the sight of the blanket-covered body, but she steadies herself and grabs one of the shovels lying next to him. She follows the abandoned train tracks to the foot of the bridge and just stands there for a moment, breathing in the beauty that surrounds her. Nick would have loved this. Despite his flaws, he often seemed to find the beauty in the mundane, but there was nothing ordinary about this view.

Alicia hops off the tracks and walks a few feet, finding a relatively bluebonnet free patch of dirt and sinks her shovel into the hard earth. Her brow just begins to drip with sweat when a second shovel digs into the dirt next to her. Luciana works wordlessly, scooping heaping mounds of soil to the side. Between the two of them, the grave is deep enough within the hour.

Alicia’s muscles burn and ache, her hands bleed as the fresh blisters from the day before rip open again. It hurts, but she doesn’t mind. In fact, she deserves the pain. Her actions led to Nick’s death after all.

She steps to the side as Strand and Elyza slowly lower the body into the grave. Alicia respectfully looks away as Luciana dips down to say her final goodbyes to Nick when something catches her eye. Alicia walks off to the side and squats down, picking the colorful flowers from the ground. Brilliant yellow desert marigolds, stunning magenta thistle, and bright red indian paintbrushes quickly fill her trembling hands.

Alicia places the bouquet of wildflowers carefully down on Nick’s chest, her tears sliding down her cheeks watering the plants she just picked. She steps back and takes the offered shovel Elyza holds out to her before scattering dirt over the body. Luciana joins in, and when Alicia’s sobs shake her body too hard to continue, Elyza places her warm hand on Alicia’s back and takes the shovel, finishing the task for her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know some of you are probably angry and heartbroken that I kept that character’s death in there. As I said in the beginning, I wrote this as a replacement for Season 4, and since Frank Dillane (the actor who portrays Nick) asked to be written off the show, I honored those wishes as well in my story. It hurt. It hurt a lot, but yeah… I miss you, Nick!


	16. Restless

Alicia stands next to the freshly turned mound of dirt, gazing out over the field of flowers. She squeezes her eyes shut as a presence stops just beside her. She knows who it is without looking. Elyza and Strand had returned to the car a while ago, leaving Alicia and Luciana to mourn in silence.

“I’m sorry,” Alicia murmurs, unable to meet the eyes of the woman Nick loved. “I’m sorry I did this to him.”

“You didn’t.”

Alicia shakes her head, completely unwilling to let herself be comforted by this woman. “If I had only listened when you all said she might not be there, he-”

Luciana stops her with a raise of her hand. “We would have come to the same conclusion. If you hadn’t convinced us, Nick would have. He’s very persuasive. Despite what you may think, he was as supportive of the plan as you were. He told me so last night. He wanted to go in alone, actually.”

“What?” Alicia startles. She finally looks up at Luciana with her eyebrows knitted in confusion. “Last night, he told me we shouldn’t go in… He tried to get me to run.”

“He was trying to protect you. He loved you,” Luciana shakes her head. She takes in a stuttered breath, and Alicia has to look away as the woman’s eyes fill with tears. They both stare at nothing in particular, drinking in the moonlight and flowers around Nick’s grave. “This is beautiful. He would have loved it.”

“I thought so too,” Alicia mumbles as she spares a glance over to offer the woman a small smile. When Luciana’s small gesture catches her eye, Alicia practically gasps. “Luciana…” Alicia’s eyes travel down, following Luciana’s arm as her hand rests protectively over her belly. Alicia sharply inhales with the realization and tears once again threaten behind her eyes. “Did… did Nick know?” Alicia asks quietly.

“No,” Luciana gives her a sad little smile as she gently caresses her belly. “I didn’t know for sure until two days ago. Loren got me a test the night the horde showed up at the nursery. There was never really a good time after to tell him after.” Luci turns to face Alicia as a single tear runs down her cheek. “I’m not sure I regret that either. Knowing wouldn’t have changed his actions. He still would have taken the bullet for Elyza. You can’t die regretting a life you didn’t know you’d have.”

The tears fall freely now, as Alicia nods with Luciana’s words. “When?” she asks softly.

“I was over a month late, so seven or eight months from now. I’m not sure. It’s hard to keep up with that sort of thing,” Luciana shrugs. She sighs deeply, her shoulders rising and falling dramatically with the action, before squatting down. Alicia watches as Luciana brings her hand to her mouth, kissing her fingertips and touches them first to her belly and then to the freshly turned earth. Alicia hears her mutter something in Spanish, but it’s too quiet for her to catch. Luciana stands and turns and begins her trek back to the truck, leaving Alicia to pay her final respects in peace.

She barely makes it a few feet before spinning on her heel and facing Alicia. “Would you mind keeping this between us? Just for now? I’m not ready to share it yet.”

“I promise.”

\-- 

The rest of the drive was short and thankfully dead free. Elyza pulls the Harley up to the room in the corner of the abandoned motel, and the pair waits for Strand to park next to them. The four huddle around the door, knives drawn, as Strand takes a firm stance and kicks the old door in. They pause, waiting for any sign of the dead, and when none appear, cautiously enter the room.

Elyza makes quick work of inspecting the typical motel room finding nothing to cause alarm. Alicia settles on one of the beds, and without much thought, drifts off into an uneasy sleep.

\-- 

Alicia stirs and her eyes flutter open. She looks around the unfamiliar room, her eyes adjusting to the bright light now shining in through a gap in the curtains. She tries to roll off the bed, but a heavy arm draped across her waist stops her progress. Alicia turns in the tight hold to find Elyza sleeping next to her, her breaths even and strong. She smiles at the sight before the memories of the previous night come crashing down on her.

Alicia can’t keep still. She can’t lie down any longer as the guilt and anger come rushing through her body. She does her best to remove Elyza’s arm without waking her and shuffles off the bed. She finds her boots placed near the foot of the bed, as Elyza must have removed them for her last night. Slipping them on, she resheathes her golok and tucks her balisong in her boot before silently slipping outside.

The sun beats down on her, its angle high in the sky, and she huffs with the realization that she slept half the day away. Having not really paid attention the night before, Alicia surveys her surroundings. The motel seems to be located on the main road of a tiny town. Town may be overselling it.

Alicia walks down the deserted road, pressing her face to abandoned storefronts. Most seem to have been vacant before the outbreak, not a single sign that they were in use. She makes it to the corner of the road where a small gas station sits proudly. The pumps look ancient, but the signs in the window are modern enough. Alicia strolls up to the front door and carefully pushes it open with her boot. While slightly picked over, the convenience store seems to have more than enough food and water.

Alicia grabs a backpack off the shelf, shaking her head at the fact that a gas station convenience store sells backpacks. She squats down in a neighboring aisle and begins to stuff protein bars, jerky, and trail mix into the bag.

A familiar groan echoes behind her, but Alicia can’t really bring herself to care. She continues to pack as much as she can into the bag. The clumsy drag and scrape of the uncoordinated walk of the dead grows louder, and still, she doesn’t move. It’s so close she can hear the pop as its teeth slam together, nipping towards her. She can smell the rotting flesh and blood.

Alicia finally turns, grabbing the outstretched hands at the wrists. She falls backward as the weight of the infected hits her full force. It nips and snaps its jaws at her, and she struggles to keep it from her flesh. She stares into its milk glazed eyes, and all she can think about is how this thing, this thing that no one saw coming, is the reason everyone she’s ever loved is dead. The apocalypse brought out the worst in humanity, and those people destroyed her family. How easy would it be to just let go? To just release the tension in her straining muscles for only a moment and let this mindless thing take her.

Its jaws snap dangerously close to her face, and the action sends her reeling. She doesn’t want to die. Elyza is still alive. Her mother is out there somewhere. Strand, Luciana, the future of her family. Alicia readjusts the grip on the dead and struggles to reach the machete still snapped in its sheath on her hip. She grunts and hisses with determination, and just as she reaches the safety latch, the rotting body stills and slumps lifelessly on top of her. Alicia rolls out from under it and yanks the familiar blade from the back of its head.

“Alicia, love!” Elyza gasps as she sprints towards her. “Are you okay? What happened?”

“I’m fine. It just snuck up on me,” Alicia lies. Elyza stares at her for a moment too long, and Alicia knows she doesn’t believe the lie for a second. Elyza’s jaw sets, her brow knits together, and Alicia braces herself, but nothing comes. Elyza’s shoulders drop, and she reaches down for the half-full backpack. Elyza wordlessly makes her way over to the broken cooler and begins stuffing water into the pack.

They make their way back to the motel in uncomfortable silence to find Strand and Luciana awake and huddled over a map. Alicia hands them each a protein bar and a bottle of water. They smile at her thankfully, though neither gesture reaches their eyes.

“This is the last place we decided on. After here, there is no plan,” Strand explains. “What do you want to do?”

“We could stay here for a while. See if Madison makes it here,” Luciana adds as she slumps back in her chair, her hand resting on her face.

Elyza sighs and shakes her head. “That’ll only work for so long. There aren’t many supplies around here, and there’s only one exit out of this room, which I’m not fond of.”

“A couple of days couldn’t hurt,” Luciana offers weakly.

Strand throws his hands in the air in annoyance. “And then where?”

“We could continue east,” Elyza says with a shrug.

“To what end?” Strand’s voice is harsh, but Alicia can tell it’s not just from the utter lack of direction the group now has.

“I don’t know, mate. I’m as clueless as you are, yeah?”

Alicia sighs and throws her body back on the bed, barely listening to the conversation taking place in front of her. She suddenly pops up on her elbows, her eyes trained on the small device propped up on the dresser across from her. The radio clicks again. Alicia bounds off the bed and grabs the device, twisting the volume up all the way. And there it is. Three simple clicks.

Her heart pounds, and she’s completely oblivious to the fact that all conversation has died behind her. Alicia presses the push-to-talk button and holds the radio close to her face. She lets out a single, quiet, hopeful, word. “Mom?”

Alicia’s head whips towards the door as the sound of tires screech on asphalt. She closes the distance to the door in a second and throws it open. The daylight blinds her for a moment, but she holds her breath as a truck comes to a sudden stop just in front of her. Her mother swings the door open, her arms wide, as Alicia crashes into Madison, wrapping her arms around her neck.

“Hey, baby,” her mother smiles into her neck. Alicia didn’t even realize she was crying until her mother releases her and her blonde hair sticks to Alicia’s face as they separate. Strand embraces her next followed by Luciana and even Elyza. Madison looks around the group, her eyebrows furrow with worry. “Where’s Nick? Loren?”

Alicia can’t meet her mother’s eyes, too overcome with guilt and sorrow. She fixes her gaze on a crack in the asphalt as Madison repeats more forcefully, “Where’s Nick?”

No one says a word, and it’s really all the confirmation Madison needs. Her sobs are drowned out by the sound of flesh hitting metal. Alicia looks up to find her mother pounding on the side of the car, her knuckles breaking open and bleeding. Alicia doesn’t think; she just reacts. She wraps herself tightly around her mother, pinning her arms to her side as she guides her away from the truck.

Madison wails, her words a mix of ‘no’ and ‘not Nick’ as she allows Alicia to pull her to the ground. Her mother slumps to her knees, and Alicia just holds her, keeping her body pressed tightly to her mother’s. Madison’s hands eventually come up to rest on Alicia’s forearms as both women rock and sob on the sidewalk.

Seconds turn into minutes, and minutes turn into hours before Madison eventually stills. She pulls Alicia around to face her, her hands cupping Alicia’s cheeks. “Baby? Baby, look at me.”

Alicia finally looks into her mother’s red and swollen eyes. “Alicia, what happened?”

Alicia’s heart lodges in her throat as she finds the courage to relive the past few days. Her mother doesn’t say a word as Alicia recalls everything from killing Loren to finding her bullet-ridden car to the fall of the water tower. When Alicia finishes telling her mother about the field of bluebonnets, Madison suddenly stands and without a word or a second glance, walks away, leaving Alicia weeping silently on the hard ground.

She’s not sure how long she sits on the ground, but she finally snaps out of her stupor when she feels a familiar touch on her back. She melts into the warm body as Elyza cradles her. “Where’s your mum?”

Alicia just shakes her head and gives a half-hearted shrug. “I told her everything. She couldn’t even look at me. I don’t blame her. I can’t look at me either.”

“Alicia, love, it’s not your fault.”

“It is! It is my fault! And I’m sick of all of you pretending that it’s not. I led us in there. I planned it all. I got Nick killed. It was me.”

“Love, you didn’t pull that trigger. You didn’t leave a trap for him. That was all the work of a psychotic motorcycle gang leader. Not you. And if you want to blame someone other than that bloody bastard, blame me. Nick got in front of a bullet meant for me. It should have been me.”

“Elyza…” Alicia shakes her head as she sits up. Her eyes burn and itch from the sheer amount of tears she’s shed in the past twenty-four hours, but she sighs deeply, gathering the strength to place her hand on Elyza’s cheek. “You wouldn’t have been there either if it weren’t for me. My mother is right. I did this.”

“Madison thinks you are to blame?”

Alicia turns her head slowly towards the voice. Strand pushes himself off the doorframe and stands with his arms crossed, his face a mixture of aloofness and concern. “Where is she?”

\-- 

Night has fallen by the time Strand returns with Madison. Alicia lies on the bed, Elyza curled protectively around her, her soft even breathing calming Alicia despite her inability to sleep. She keeps her eyes softly closed as the pair stumbles into the room.

“Shhh… Everyone is asleep,” Madison mumbles as she slumps into a chair by the window, the wood creaking as she adjusts herself in the cheap chair.

“Indeed, they are. So why the face?” Strand’s voice calls out from somewhere near the door.

“I thought I taught them better than that. No one on watch? Stupid mistake.”

“We haven’t come across a single living person since the water tower, and the dead have been few and far between. They needed sleep.”

“Since when do you care?” Madison scoffs into the moonlight.

“The revelation is as surprising to you as it is to me. I care, Madison.”

There is a pause in the conversation, and Alicia struggles to keep her body still and quiet. After what seems like minutes, she hears a soft pad of footsteps grow closer. She can feel a body hover over her, and her skin prickles as someone stares at her.

“She needs you. She needs her mother’s love.”

Alicia’s eyes twitch with the sudden softness of Strand’s voice. She remains still as a warm hand barely brushes over her outstretched arm, and her heart pounds at the tender gesture. His hand is gone as quickly as it appeared.

“I don’t think I can give her that.” Madison’s words twist in Alicia’s already wounded heart. Her fear confirmed. It’s her fault. Her mother knows it. She knows it.

“Madison…” Strand chastises.

“He was my son.”

“And she’s your daughter. Are you ready to lose both of your children in one day?”

Alicia can hear Madison inhale deeply at the cutting words, and Alicia’s face curls up in pain. The silence in the room is suddenly stifling, and Alicia is about to sit up, make her presence known when her mother’s voice whispers.

“I’m not ready. I’m not ready to bury him.” Her voice is wet and quiet, and Alicia can’t even remember the last time she heard such vulnerability radiating off of her mother. She opens one eye slowly, barely even, and sees Strand kneeling in front of Madison. He holds both her hands in his.

“You can never be ready to bury a child. Get some sleep. I’ll take you to the field in the morning.”

\-- 

“Hey, love,” Elyza strokes Alicia’s cheek, slowly rousing her from a dreamless sleep. “Alicia, I’ve got to go.”

“What?” Alicia flutters her eyes open to find her blonde perched on the bed next to her, dressed and armed, a pack slung over her shoulder. She reaches her arm out and pulls Elyza down to her, nuzzling her face in the crook of Elyza’s neck.

“Your mum’s waiting on me,” Elyza chuckles as she pulls away. She pushes a few wild strands of hair behind Alicia’s ear. “I just wanted to say goodbye before I left. Didn’t want you waking in a panic.”

“Okay,” Alicia mumbles, her mind still foggy with sleep. She feels Elyza begin to stand when her brain finally catches up to what she just said. She sits straight up and grabs Elyza’s wrist causing her to turn with concern in her eyes. “Wait, you’re going on a run with my mom? I thought Strand was going with you.”

Relaxing as she realizes the cause of Alicia’s panic, Elyza sits back down on the bed next to Alicia. “Last minute switch.”

“Do you think she…” Alicia trails off, not wanting to confirm out loud what she suspects her mother’s motives to be. Alicia hasn’t been the only one Madison has been avoiding for the past few weeks. If anyone has gotten a colder shoulder than her, it’s Elyza.

“Probably,” Elyza sighs. “Honestly, I’m shocked it’s taken her this long.”

Worry and panic erupt in the pit of Alicia’s stomach. She knows how harsh her mother can be, and she’s pretty certain her mother blames Elyza, at least on some level, for Nick’s death. “You won’t leave me, will you?” Alicia little more than whispers.

“Not a chance in hell, love,” Elyza confirms instantly. She places her hand over Alicia’s and squeezes it as if the gesture makes her words more than a promise. “Not until you ask me to.”

“That’s never going to happen.”

“Then it looks like I’ll be seeing you in a bit.” Elyza stands, giving Alicia’s hand a final squeeze. She turns to exit the room, but before taking a single step towards the door, she spins back around, leans close, and places a warm, wet kiss to Alicia’s lips. She backs away with that smirk, and Alicia feels her heart melt just a little.

“Elyza…” She calls out just as the Aussie twists the doorknob, suddenly overwhelmed with the need to reassure her. “It wasn’t your fault.”

Elyza freezes and looks over her shoulder. “Wasn’t yours either.”

“Tell that to my mother,” Alicia grumbles. The comment is meant to be a joke, but both women understand the accurate implications of her statement, and the room is instantly dripping with unsaid tension and melancholy.

“Maybe I will,” Elyza winks, and Alicia can’t help but to thank whatever powers that be for letting her meet this woman. Elyza never fails to read the mood and know exactly when Alicia could use a little pick-me-up, even if it’s in the form of a very lame attempt of a joke.  

“Okay, go on,” Alicia half smiles. She tosses a pillow in Elyza’s direction, and the blonde easily catches it. “Get out of here. My mother won’t be happy if you’re late.”

When the door clicks shut, Alicia throws her body back on the bed, curling under the sheets. She attempts to fall back asleep, but after a few restless hours of tossing and turning and not even her latest book calming her enough to sleep, Alicia throws the blankets to the side and dresses quickly.

She makes her way down the short hallway of their latest home, pausing every once in a while to run her fingers gently along the art decorating the halls.

Alicia whips her head towards the back door at the sound, and half jogs outside, grabbing a bottle of water and a granola bar as she passes through the kitchen. It doesn’t take long for Alicia to find Luciana bent over, retching into the bushes. She approaches her slowly, not wanting to startle her and holds her hair in one hand while drawing soothing circles on her back with the other. After only another couple of seconds, Luciana stands, one hand on her belly, her eyes screwed tight as she breathes through the remaining nausea. Alicia wordlessly offers the water to her, which Luci takes without question.

“Thank you. It’s getting better. Sort of,” Luciana grimaces after taking a gulp and spitting it out.

“When are you going to tell them?” Alicia asks, her eyes on the ground. “I’m not trying to rush you or anything, it’s just…” Alicia throws her hands in air nonchalantly. She suddenly remembers the granola bar she snagged and hands it over to Luci. “They’re going to notice eventually.”

“I know,” Luciana sighs, taking another sip of the water before opening the bar. “It sounds selfish, but I like having this just to myself. It’s my little piece of him right now. It’s mine, and mine alone.”

“That’s not selfish,” Alicia reassures her. “I may not get it, but it’s yours to tell. I just want you to be safe, and we need to find somewhere safe before the baby comes. It may motivate everyone else to find that place if they knew,” Alicia finishes and the look she receives from Luciana has her instantly backtracking. “But that’s just my opinion. I respect your wishes. I promise. Oh, hey! Wait right here, I have something for you.”

Alicia turns; leaving a genuinely curious Luciana standing in the fenced in backyard, and quickly makes her way back to her room. She grabs her pack and jogs back outside to find Luci standing exactly where she left her. Alicia smiles and grabs the bottle from her pack and holds them out for Luciana. “When I was on the run yesterday, I grabbed these for you.”

“You didn’t have to do that,” Luciana mumbles as she turns the bottle of prenatal vitamins over in her hand.

Alicia dismisses her with a gentle wave of her hand and a small smile. “That’s my little niece or nephew in there.”

“Everything alright out here?”

Alicia snatches the bottle from Luciana’s hands and stuffs it back in her pack before the owner of the voice sees them.

“We’re fine,” Alicia smiles as Strand stands on the back porch.

“It sounded like someone was getting sick,” he lowers his eyes at the women standing awkwardly near the bushes.

“Chunder? What? Who? Where?” Elyza rambles as she appears next to Strand, a wild look on her face.

“Someone’s sick?” Madison takes a step outside as Strand and Elyza easily make room for her on the back porch.

“Jesus, will you all relax?” Alicia huffs. She casually throws her pack over her shoulder and begins to make her way back inside. “We’re fine. Luciana wasn’t feeling well; I came to check on her. She’s fine.”

“We’re good,” Luciana adds, a hint of a smile on her face.

“Okay,” Madison concedes though it’s clear she doesn’t fully believe Alicia and Luciana’s statements. She sighs, letting it go. “Well, it’s Elyza’s turn to cook.”

“Ah,” Strand smirks, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “Vegetable jerky soup. My favorite.”

“Rack off!” Elyza exclaims, throwing a certain finger in his direction. “It’s delicious, and you know it.”

Strand smiles and raises both eyebrows. “I honestly don’t know how you survived for so long living off of your own cooking.”

“You wound me, mate,” Elyza huffs, placing a hand to her chest. “I put my blood, sweat, and tears into each dish I prepare for you ungrateful lot.”

“Well, that explains a lot,” Strand quips, and it’s with that remark that Alicia can see Elyza flip from playful banter to full-on argument mode. Her eyes narrow and her face scrunches into a devastating pout.

Alicia sighs and doesn’t really have the energy to break up a verbal argument, no matter how petty, between the two, so she just interlaces her fingers with Elyza’s and pulls her towards the kitchen. “Come on, Elyza. I’ll help.”

“I don’t need help,” Elyza shrugs out of Alicia’s grasp. “I can cook perfectly-”

“No one’s saying you can’t. And you know I’m quite fond of your dried meat soup,” Alicia interrupts, placing a quick kiss to Elyza’s cheek. That gesture seems to do the trick as the blonde visibly relaxes and intertwines their fingers once again. Alicia barely smiles before leading her into the kitchen. “Come on.”

Elyza grabs the ingredients she needs, piling them haphazardly in a pot, while Alicia carries a couple bottles of water out into the backyard. The house had a built-in firepit that they have been graciously using over the past few days. Within in a few minutes, Elyza has a fire roaring and the pot dangling over the flames.

“So…” Alicia starts. “How’d it go?”

Elyza sighs as she stirs the ingredients in the pot, not bothering to look up. “As expected. Harsh words were said, but I think we’re okay. Ish. She just wanted to understand why he did it.”

“And?” Alicia urges her to continue.

“And I told her if she ever figures that out, I’d like to know as well. I’ll never understand why he thought his life was worth mine.” The sound of the wooden spoon clanging against the metal pot as Elyza stirs it a little too harshly has Alicia standing and approaching her blonde in seconds. The pot teeters dangerously on the hook, nearly falling into the flames below, as Alicia sits next to Elyza.

She reaches up and wipes a single rogue tear from Elyza’s face, muttering, “Elyza…”

“I’m not blaming myself,” Elyza sighs. “Not really. I just… I just wish he didn’t do that.”

“I know,” Alicia nods. “I’ve spent too many hours wishing the same thing, and then my heart breaks all over again, because if he didn’t, you’d be dead, and I’d be devastated, which only makes me feel more guilty for being grateful that you’re alive. It feels like I’m happy he’s dead instead of you. And it’s this vicious cycle that never ends, and I just don’t know how to be okay with his decision.” Her voice breaks as the tears fall freely down her cheeks, but Alicia presses on with the sudden courage to finally say everything that’s been reeling in her head for weeks.

“And then I get angry. So angry, at Proctor John, because though I didn’t pull the trigger, he still got his wish. One of you died, and I have to live with it.”

Alicia’s chest heaves, as she tries to control her breathing. She places her hands on her hips and looks down at Elyza’s soft face. She doesn’t even know when she stood up from her seat next to the blonde.

“Hey, hey, love. Come here,” Elyza opens her arms, and Alicia sits with a heavy sigh, allowing the blonde to wrap an arm around her waist. Elyza’s fingers gently rest just under Alicia’s shirt, and the warmth of her fingertips send shivers up her spine.

“We’re all living with it,” Elyza consoles quietly. “It’s never going to be okay. It’s never going to make sense. But the pain will fade. It’ll rear its ugly head, probably more often than we’d like, but eventually, it will just be a scar. A scar that was cut by years of memories, good and bad. It will always be there. He’ll always be there. And for what it’s worth, I’ll always be there too. Jag älskar dig.”

“Wow…” Alicia exhales. Elyza’s words are exactly what she needed to hear, but more than that, she feels lighter, finally releasing all the thoughts she’s kept to herself about Nick’s death. The guilt she feels about his sacrifice, being happy she has one while the other is dead. All of it. Once out in the open, she’s freer, and now she just wants to feel happy, if only for a moment.

“What?” Elyza questions, a curious little tilt to her head.

“That was surprisingly sweet of you,” Alicia smirks, knowing Elyza will pick up on the tease.

“I’m always sweet!” Elyza counters, much to Alicia’s delight. Alicia grins, enjoying the playful banter, but her face drops with the sight behind Elyza.

“Elyza-” she tries to gain Elyza’s attention.

“I can’t believe you don’t think I’m sweet,” Elyza continues to ramble.

“Elyza-” Alicia tries again.

“I’m the sweetest bloody Aussie you’ve ever met.”

“Elyza!” a little louder this time.

“Sweeter than a Violet Crumble after a-”

“Elyza!!!” Alicia practically shouts as she grabs Elyza’s hand and squeezes tightly.

“What?” Elyza finally addresses Alicia.

“Soup’s boiling over.” Alicia points behind the blonde as her specialty sizzles and pops into the flames, an ominous black smoke swirling in the air above the pot. Alicia can’t suppress the huff of laughter that leaves her mouth as Elyza dives for a towel with a sudden, “Fuck.”

\-- 

“I rescind my previous sarcasm,” Strand hums as he places his empty bowl to the ground. “It was actually decent this time. If you don’t mind me asking, what did you change?”

Alicia sits next to Elyza as the five of them enjoy their meal around the firepit. Her body shudders as she stifles the laughter in her chest.

“Shut up, love,” Elyza mumbles grumpily into her shoulder.

“I didn’t say anything.”

“I can hear your thoughts,” Elyza grumbles.

“Care to let us in on that fascinating mental power you claim to possess?” Strand calls over to Elyza.

Elyza stiffens and hides her face in Alicia’s shoulder. Her voice is barely audible over the crackling of the fire. “I didn’t make it.”

“Sorry, what was that?” Strand prods.

“I didn’t make it,” Elyza repeats as she sits up. She huffs as she addresses the group, resigning herself to her fate. “Mine boiled over and burned. Alicia made this.”

Strand lets out a bark of laughter and raises his cup towards her, “Well, cheers to the chef and her muse.”

Luciana clinks her water bottle with Strand’s cup, and even Madison appears to have a smile on her face. Alicia looks to her blonde to find her pouting, her arms crossed defensively over her chest. She suddenly stands, apparently wanting to storm off in a fit of embarrassment, when Alicia catches her wrist.

“Elyza, come on, it’s okay. We’re just teasing-” Elyza turns back to the fire, her foot catching on the strap of Alicia’s pack, sending some of its contents rolling on the ground.

Elyza pauses and squats down, stuffing the spilled items back in Alicia’s bag when she freezes, and Alicia silently curses herself for not putting her damn pack back in her room. “What’s this?” Elyza asks holding the bottle in her hands.

“It’s nothing,” Alicia dismisses quickly, grabbing the bottle of vitamins from Elyza and tossing them in her bag as quickly as possible. “I just grabbed those while I was out on the run yesterday.”

“Why?” Elyza questions.

“Are those prenatals?” Madison’s voice is cold as she stands and walks over to Alicia, pulling out the bottle of vitamins from her pack. She looks down at her, her face hard as she waits for Alicia to respond.

“Yes,” Alicia confirms tersely.

“Alicia-”

“Don’t, Mom,” Alicia bites, taking the bottle from her mother and replacing it in her pack once again.

“I told you to be careful!” Madison chastises. “In this world-”

“Whoa, Mom!” Alicia interrupts. “They’re not-”

“Hey! There’s no way… Who?” Elyza’s face is a picture of betrayal and worry and hurt, but before Alicia can reassure her, Strand is offering his guess from across the firepit.

“Loren?”

“No! What?” Alicia shakes her head. “Hold on! It’s not what you think.”

“Then what is it?” Madison prods coldly, her hands placed directly on her hips.

“They’re just vitamins. I’m just feeling a little off balance. Thought maybe they could help,” Alicia offers slowly.

“Bullshit.”

“No. You don’t get to do that,” Alicia snaps at Madison. She stands and squares her shoulders ready to face her mother after weeks of not talking. “You don’t get to call bullshit, Mom. This is the first real conversation we’ve had since the nursery. You don’t get to assume anything about me, or how I feel right now!”

“Baby…” Madison tries to console.

“No, don’t do that. I already feel guilty enough. It’s eating me alive. I don’t need you looking at me like that,” Alicia’s voice is shaky as she confesses to her mother.

“I don’t blame you, Alicia. I never did.” Madison admits quietly, and the words take a minute to sink in. Alicia blinks and shakes her head.

“What?”

“You just remind me of him. So much,” Madison sighs. She takes a seat where she stands, and Alicia glares at her, not sure if she wants to sit or stand. Madison just looks up at her and continues. “Whenever I look at you, I see him. I see you two as children, playing. I see you bickering over who gets to be the top hat. I see him following you after you left the ranch. I can even see you choosing the field of bluebonnets and know that he would have picked the same if he could’ve.”

“Mom,” Alicia breathes, finally sitting down next to her mother. “Mom, I’m not him. We were never the same.”

“I know. But you’re both my babies. I can’t look at you and not think of him.”

“Okay,” Alicia states plainly. She stands up from her seat next to her mother and sits on Elyza’s opposite side, putting some much-needed space and distance in between her and her mother. She can’t bear to be so close to her at the moment, knowing that Madison can’t see her for who she is.

“Alicia, love-” Elyza tries.

“It’s fine, Elyza,” Alicia whispers firmly, before turning her attention back towards her mother, ready to say her final peace.

“Mom, I love you. I loved him, and I torture myself every day thinking about what I could have done differently. But I can’t live like this. I can’t. I’m so sorry for what happened. I would take his place in a heartbeat if I could. But that’s not going to happen. Please, Mom. Please find a way to look at me like I’m your daughter and not a ghost of your son. If you can’t...” Alicia trails off, her voice betraying her as she shakes her head, the tears falling silently to the earth below.

“I’ll try,” Madison states after a tense moment.

The five people sit silently as the emotions of the past few minutes dissipate into the air. Alicia nearly jumps in her seat as Strand loudly claps his hands together. “Well, now that that lovely conversation has ended, Little Clark, care to explain your supposed immaculate conception?”

“Oy, mate!” Elyza exclaims, throwing Strand a glare to rival a lioness stalking her prey.

Alicia huffs, ready to repeat herself again. “I told you, they’re-”

“Mine.”

“What?” Alicia shoots over to Luciana, her eyes wide, as she tries to have a silent conversation with the woman, willing her to know that she’s fully prepared to take the fall for this.

Luciana shakes her head and speaks up a little more loudly. “They’re mine. Alicia got them for me.”

“Luciana-” Alicia tries again, shaking her head.

“It’s okay,” Luciana sighs. “It’s time.”

“How far along?” Madison asks quietly, not needing anyone to explain the situation any further.

“Three months or so,” Luciana smiles as she gently caresses her belly.

“Nick’s?”

“Elyza!” Alicia snaps as she lands a swift punch to the Aussie’s shoulder for that insensitive comment.

“Ouch! Sorry!” Elyza exclaims, rubbing her shoulder. “People were assuming Loren when they thought you were knocked up. I just wanted to be sure.”

“Jesus Christ…” Alicia rolls her eyes and grits her teeth to stop herself from landing another, harder punch to this moron.

“Yes, Nick’s,” Luciana confirms.

“Did he know?” Madison asks.

Luciana’s face falls slightly as she shakes her head. “I took a test the night the nursery fell. I didn’t get a chance to tell him. Never seemed like the right time.”

Madison nods, and a silence falls across the firepit. Elyza wraps her arm around Alicia’s shoulder, pulling her close, and Alicia slides her arm around her waist. The blonde hums in appreciation, and turns to her with a little smirk. Alicia knows that look and leans in to place a chaste kiss to her lips. Elyza pulls away slowly with a soft smile that Alicia willingly returns.

Alicia snuggles back into her blonde and looks out around the group. Luciana leans back in her chair, a hand resting on her belly. Strand sips out of his cup that clearly doesn’t contain water. Madison stares directly in the fire, her face scrunched in thought.

“The Diamond.”

“What?” Alicia blurts as she looks over at her mother. Madison lets the first full smile in weeks turn the corners of her mouth upwards.

“I have something I want to show you in the morning,” Madison states as she looks at Alicia. She glances at Elyza before continuing. “We stumbled across it today.”

Alicia feels Elyza tense in her hold as she realizes what Madison is talking about. From this angle, Alicia can just barely see the smile form on Elyza’s lips before she looks back at her mother.

Madison leans forward, now addressing the group. “I think we can make a home. A safe home.” She rests her forearms on her knees, and Alicia follows her mother’s gaze across the fire. Luciana stares back at Madison, her eyes wet with unshed tears. The woman nods, and a single tear falls down her cheek as Madison smiles, “For all of us.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah… Not exactly a happy ending, but perhaps a little hopeful. Madison is now motivated to establish the Diamond as a safe home for her future grandchild instead of being randomly swayed by one good deed from a stranger (sorry, Al, you’re pretty cool, and I dig your beanie, but I found it hard to believe that Madison changed her mindset from just meeting you alone). Alicia still turns a little dark, a little hardened, more affected by her brother’s sacrifice than she lets on, but she has Elyza to ground her now. Luciana still loses her love, but Nick’s legacy is carried on through the birth of his child. Strand’s still Strand, I mean, come on, he’s Victor Strand.
> 
> Anyway, it’s been a wild ride. I hope you enjoyed it; I know I enjoyed writing it! 
> 
> Until next time!  
> -EMM


End file.
